Oh I have to share some experience here, but sorry it's going to be a long post. It is very strange and I have experienced this from both sides.
First case, many years ago I knew someone whose Sun/Mars/NN was conjunct my Lilith (BML). I would say that he was the more keen in the beginning, but almost froze when I became interested. I was older by 6 or 7 years, but not really a massive age gap, but still unusual I guess, societal norms still dictate older male/younger female even more so then. It was my Mars that conjuncted his Venus, too. The conjunction was in Gemini and we were actually neighbors and both single. We had a strange close relationship that I can't really describe very well. When he moved away, we carried on writing to each other for a while. His Psyche was also conjunct my Ve/Ur/Des and my Psyche was conjunct his Sa/Pl.
Fast forward some years and I walked into a meeting where the person due to make a presentation saw me for the first time and then couldn't stop looking at me. He seemed astonished to meet me and immediately started talking to me as if everyone else didn't exist. He would look directly into my eyes while talking and after a while I would look around the room to encourage him to look at someone else, as I thought it could be awkward for them at least, but I would look back and he was still gazing over!
I sadly don't have the exact birth data for this one, but I know it roughly to a month. This is enough to know that his BML/Psyche/Neptune conjunction is exactly conjunct my Ve/Ur/Des in Scorpio. The "forbidden fruit" aspect to BML was much stronger here as he was married and in a more senior position. I was also in a relationship. He was older this time. I began to a feel very strong attraction to him too and the attraction between us was so strong I think it scared both of us to some extent. I'm ashamed to say, I started turning up early to spend some time alone with him, I felt like I had to see him and couldn't stay away. He was always already there and made some comments about me being early with a smile and I just shrugged and made some excuse we both knew was bs. I had never been like this with anyone except perhaps the neighbor guy. We instantly skipped the small talk too and made an emotional connection straight away, though we never went too far. We discovered some strange coincidences in our backgrounds and experiences. Eventually someone would walk in to join us and I'm sure they must have picked up on something, it would take just a little bit too long for us to stop looking at each other and acknowledge their presence, oops.
Anyway, the project we were working on was abruptly discontinued when the partner business went into administration and the meetings stopped suddenly. I think we were both devastated and relieved at the same time. Unlike last time, we did not contact each other directly, I guess older and wiser and knowing it was trouble. I put blind faith into "this shall pass", but to be brutally honest, I don't think it does completely.
So, sorry I don't know if it makes a difference who is BML and who is Venus, although there is a chance with the second one that the aspect was a DW if he was born during one week in the month - I'll never know! There was a lot of Psyche involved too, so hard to isolate. Perhaps there is a different experience for men and women, I don't know. It would be great to hear from men who were on the Lilith side.
