Is saturn squre venus = doom relationship?

Me and my soulmate have composite and synastry saturn square venus....
for the past 7 years we are having on-off connection as we just dont get time to spend with each other... (more like my mate who is saturn doesnt have time for me)...

i have read in several sites that this aspect is a heart breaker and indicates an on-off connection.... is this true? and if it is, is there nothing that can reverse this?

Arianruler said:

Me and my soulmate have composite and synastry saturn square venus....
for the past 7 years we are having on-off connection as we just dont get time to spend with each other... (more like my mate who is saturn doesnt have time for me)...

i have read in several sites that this aspect is a heart breaker and indicates an on-off connection.... is this true? and if it is, is there nothing that can reverse this?

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Years ago I was bemused to discover how often, if I took astrological help columnists' pronouncements seriously, longterm relationships began "in spite of" hard-angle Saturn/Venus transits. It's probably significant that you're making this query a quarter of a Saturn cycle after whatever happened (you're pretty vague about what your on-off connection actually is) to establish this connection (whatever it is) in the first place. What was Saturn conjoining, squaring or opposing, in your chart and the other person's, at that time? This might well turn out to be a turning point, with Saturn again aspecting whatever it was aspecting then, in whatever was established then.

Hi,
My saturn squares my bf's venus exactly, and his saturn squares my venus widely (4 degree orb). We have been together for 2 years....1 of which was long distance. I think it can indicate a big responsibility to eachother, a glue, but your relationship may be thwarted in some ways. It's not a light-hearted connection. It's kinda like "can you take the heat? Is this what you really want?" If so, the rewards are great. He is helping me raise my young sons, and he has sacrificed A LOT in order to be with me. We have jumped through hoops most people wouldn't even contemplate to be together.

I have read that Saturn aspects are karmic. Especially the conjunction and the opposite. They are easy to get into - but hard to get out.
It is like the two become bonded, like glue. They stay together long past the time they should of ended it - for what ever reasons.
Usually there are other 'good' aspects to go with this karmic bondage that keep them together. Squares between Saturn and Venus, it is said, usually don't ever get started and if they do - seldom do they last.
.

jill said:

I have read that Saturn aspects are karmic. Especially the conjunction and the opposite. They are easy to get into - but hard to get out.
It is like the two become bonded, like glue. They stay together long past the time they should of ended it - for what ever reasons.
Usually there are other 'good' aspects to go with this karmic bondage that keep them together. Squares between Saturn and Venus, it is said, usually don't ever get started and if they do - seldom do they last.
.

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Oh, don't say that! I don't think it's true...we have a marriage type of commitment. Neither of us want to break up, ever. But I guess we shall see. We also have tons of karmic and kinda rare links. But it is true that we are so commited that ending our relationship would be very difficult and hard-going. I could see that *if* either of us wanted out, we might well stay with it longer than otherwise due to all our commitments to eachother and children.

Maybe post the two charts and title it 'Will we stay together?'. Just to see what others say as far as challenges go. Like I mentioned earlier, usually there are alot of good aspects that 'get the two of you together' before saturn starts testing us. I would check to see if there is going to be any hard aspects, to a 'same degree' point in both charts, approaching in the near future. (either the venus or the saturn will do)
This will definitly test your relationship's strength and tell you whether or not the relationship can weather the storm.

jill said:

Maybe post the two charts and title it 'Will we stay together?'. Just to see what others say as far as challenges go. Like I mentioned earlier, usually there are alot of good aspects that 'get the two of you together' before saturn starts testing us. I would check to see if there is going to be any hard aspects, to a 'same degree' point in both charts, approaching in the near future. (either the venus or the saturn will do)
This will definitly test your relationship's strength and tell you whether or not the relationship can weather the storm.

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Oooh, I don't think I'll do that. Better to put my energy into creating a nice life for us, and observing transits as they come. I know that our saturns are trine and sextile eachother's suns, and we neither of us have natal sun-saturn aspects. Personally, I think we ground eachother and both really want the life we have. To me, that (desire for longevity of the relationship) is more important than the difficult aspects we have. When the tricky transits hit, we weather them together instead of breaking apart. That is what we choose to do. Of course, that could change with time, one never knows....

Composites are usually more for two people living together. Do you live together? If not, it's not necessarily active. In general in synastry comparisons with a square aspect between Venus and Saturn there is usually a lack of spontaneous affection. Also,many times one of the partners craves more affection than what is given from the mate.

Thanks for your reply guys...

well its on-off because the first 6 years we pretended to be 'friends' while we both knew that what we had was more than friendship... but no neither of us dare to say anything about it..

and when my mate did bring it up 6 years later, i refused to admit that it was more than friendship because i got scared of how she might react.. so it dragged as a long distance friendship for further 2 years where we only talked 3-4 times a year with no contact for months in between...

i want to start a relationship with this person but this person keeps running away from it.. due to the intensity of our connection.. its INDEED karmic! we can both feel it.....

our synastry has venus square saturn and so does our composite chart... i wonder if this is why we cant get the relationship off the ground in the first place??

I have uploaded our composite chart.. if anyone wants to have a look! =)

Vista said:

Composites are usually more for two people living together. Do you live together? If not, it's not necessarily active. In general in synastry comparisons with a square aspect between Venus and Saturn there is usually a lack of spontaneous affection. Also,many times one of the partners craves more affection than what is given from the mate.

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I see this. I am very affectionate while my bf is not so much. I respect his sense of physical claustrophobia if he gets too close to ANYONE, not just me. So, I wish we would cuddle more but that's not such a big deal. I think with maturity (being the crucial word with saturn) it's not so difficult. We smile a lot into eachother's eyes and pass eachother with affectionate little touches, but we don't cuddle up on the couch or hold hands when walking.

jill said:

I have read that Saturn aspects are karmic. Especially the conjunction and the opposite. They are easy to get into - but hard to get out.
It is like the two become bonded, like glue. They stay together long past the time they should of ended it - for what ever reasons.
Usually there are other 'good' aspects to go with this karmic bondage that keep them together. Squares between Saturn and Venus, it is said, usually don't ever get started and if they do - seldom do they last.
.

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Thats what I would say happen with me and my ex husband we have Venus sq Saturn in synsatry... His Saturn also in my 1st..
We stuck it out WAY past the length we should have...
We stayed together for 13 years..

We STILL never made the decision to separate from each other, it was just one of those things, and we were separated by cirmstances which ultimately ended the relationship.

Lion o ness,

Thanks for sharing your experience.

i am going thru the same phase since 7 years and we still feel stuck together with some sort of glue except we are just drifting away slowly each day due to circumstances out of our control.............. =(

we NEVER HAVE AND WE STILL havent made the decision to seperate or completely stop the contact.... its like fate is running this and not us... SO PAINFUL!!!!! ='(

Arianruler said:

Me and my soulmate have composite and synastry saturn square venus....
for the past 7 years we are having on-off connection as we just dont get time to spend with each other... (more like my mate who is saturn doesnt have time for me)...

i have read in several sites that this aspect is a heart breaker and indicates an on-off connection.... is this true? and if it is, is there nothing that can reverse this?

Click to expand...

Although we are only looking at one aspect it is a strong one and difficult. It does mean poor timing with love and obstacles such as one is committed elsewhere or the age gap is a problem....It is a karmic tie
and can be painful I know... you mention time being a problem and Saturn is Father Time. However often there is a great sense of loyalty despite the problems.... It can be an enduring relationship but not very satisfactory...Depending on where in the chart the planets are, it can mean money shortages or lack of assets and material goods....

Claire19 said:

Although we are only looking at one aspect it is a strong one and difficult. It does mean poor timing with love and obstacles such as one is committed elsewhere or the age gap is a problem....It is a karmic tie
and can be painful I know... you mention time being a problem and Saturn is Father Time. However often there is a great sense of loyalty despite the problems.... It can be an enduring relationship but not very satisfactory...Depending on where in the chart the planets are, it can mean money shortages or lack of assets and material goods....

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Hi Claire,

Would that financial restriction be migitated if composite saturn is tightly sextile jupiter from the 11th house?

I have this aspect both with my ex-husband AND with the fellow I'd like to date and who is one of my best friends ... but the relationship can't seem to get off the ground. To make it more interesting, I have a Venus-Saturn opposition with a fellow I dated for a few months in high school, and who then *looked me up* 30 years later and tried to pursue me (I ran, ran ... there was also a Venus-Pluto opposition there, and several other difficult aspects ... very classic "unrequited"). In both the case with my ex- and the current guy, I'm the Saturn, they're the Venus. With Stalker Dude, I'm the Venus, he's the Saturn.

But in any case, I've experienced various manifestations of this aspect, so I can share what I've experienced.

First, the ex- and I had not just this aspect, but also a Venus-Neptune square, but both our Mars were conjunct, leading to a certain magnetism. So (as always) ONE aspect alone does not define a relationship. But with the marriage, we were together 23 years total, 20 as married. I look at the synastry and sometimes wonder HOW we got together or lasted as long as we did! Low compatibility score (something like 14!) ... but ... 23 years. The last 10 at least were NOT happy. We kinda felt chained, I think ... and that's Saturn. Duty. Yes, I'd say his Venus felt "squashed" by my Saturn. What we wanted in a relationship, and our basic personality types, didn't match. He's a shy extrovert, I'm a not-shy introvert. I'm very happy on my own, and NEED that -- he needed a completely different level of activity, action and togetherness.

One manifestation of Venus-Saturn square is that the Venus person is initially enamored of the Saturn person, but slowly, the passion cools/dies and the Venus person feels constrained, as if in a cage. The Saturn person may be partially or mostly unaware of this, and unable to meet the needs of the Venus person. That sums it up pretty well, actually. Classic "irreconcilable differences." We should have stayed friends.

Now, the OTHER guy ... we actually have a very HIGH compatibility rating (31 or 33, depending on how you want to count orbs). We also have a couple of the classic "soulmate" aspects. BUT ... we can't seem to get into a relationship. I'm older than him ... and yes, I'm the Saturn person. There are other "real world" constraints on the relationship. So despite some absolutely splendid synastry aspects -- that Venus-Saturn square seems to just KILL potential. I'm starting to think it's never going to go anywhere.

BUT if it did, I also think it has the potential (here's the karma) to do some HEALING. I couldn't manage the Venus-Saturn with my ex- ... with the other fellow (who's my best friend), I DO think we could manage it *because* of the positive aspects between us (and the lack of hard Neptune aspects which tend to deceive/bemuse/muddle the waters).

The thing about squares is that they're TEACHERS. We have to learn to manage them. They take maturity. When young, they can be SO frustrating. But as we age, we get better. I was a kid when I married my ex- (21). Now, I'm 47. I learned a lot. If we could just get the thing off the ground, Saturn stabilizes and a square from Saturn teaches. I know what to look for, beware of, and how to manage it. Squares are fricative and FORCE you to manage them (or they manage you). And frankly, that's what marriage is like. They take WORK. It takes two people to make a marriage, but only one to break it. Learn to manage Venus-Saturn and it'll be the bedrock.

Easier probably to have a sextile or trine, but I think the conjunction and squares CAN be handled with maturity and awareness ... and enough other more "cheerful" aspects: like sun-Venus or moon-Venus aspects, positive moon or positive sun or sun-moon aspects, good Mercuries (indicating an ability to talk easily). Sun-Jupiter helps too. I point to these because sun-Venus is about real affection (not just sexual attraction), and good Mercury means good communication. Good Jupiter is cheerfulness/helpfulness. So all those will help counterbalance the "heavy" Saturn hard aspect.

Where I have my doubts (based not just on my experience but that of other charts I've looked at) is the Venus-Saturn OPPOSITION (or the quincunx too, which I don't really count a minor aspect). Here, I think the energies are such that they just kill each other, or are so on-off, they can't be easily managed at all, or even worked through well.

I've seen squares and conjunctions work long-term. I've not seen a Venus-Saturn opposition work long-term. Now, I've hardly seen everything (at all!), and I'm sure they do sometimes work, but I think it would require a LOT of other, helpful, extremely positive aspects.

Btw, with Stalker Dude, and the opposition, I just felt completely chained/constricted. But there are (again) a lot of other difficult aspects including Sun-Jupiter opposition (extremes), a Mercury/Pluto to Venus opposition, Neptune-Venus square and Neptune-Saturn square. So LOTS of things wrong there, very little good. To be frank, he creeped me out more than a little, seemed very manipulative (even though I'm the Pluto in the Venus-Pluto opposition), obsessed, and CLINGY. I'd say the "clingy" was some of the Saturn. Saturn NEEDS Venus.

venus-saturn aspects usually bode well for longevity in natal synastry and composites, however with a square, a constant-in your face aspect like this one can result in ongoing friction that requires patience and give and take, constantly. saturn usually rules the roost and venus is faced with meeting limits to her desires. usually venus wants something that saturn has and is hard pressed to let go even when she thinks she wants to. saturn usually provides a steady~as~he~goes influence and can be a real itchy sweater for venus, constantly reminding venus of the rules of engagement.
it is a solidifying aspect, i think, when two people care enough about each other to roll up sleeves and work to smooth out the rough edges. any venus~saturn aspect requires facing the facts, realistic expectations and a weird kind of cost~effectiveness way of thinking.
I have seen Uranus as well as Pluto transits shake up and even end long term venus-saturn relations, so look to transits to composite for preparation.
it can sometimes indicate that one of the people feels like a slave to the other, in the sense that there are subtle or even overt inequities in the relationship. eg:
one works a lot, or is constantly putting career first over relationship or one is viewed as lazy or complacent and gets needled to Do Something from the other.
in composite, each could take turns in these roles.
look to any natals in aspect to the venus~saturn square to see who might have the upper hand or low spot on the totem pole. also what houses in composite forare ruled by venus and by saturn ~ the friction of the square will likely be played out in those two areas.
i always view venus~saturn aspects as workable and steadying. at least you know what you're up against, as is saturn's way. venus often wants the soft, easy way and those venusian desires can be a pretty powerful entity for saturn to constantly meet up against. again, this is where it helps to look at natal planets that might reinforce the square on one person's end.

Thanks so much for that post, Kay.

That was very helpful to me, anyway. Surely for the OP as well. My bf and I have a lot of other good good good stuff in synastry, I'm sure saturn venus can't be the whole story!

Vista said:

Composites are usually more for two people living together. Do you live together? If not, it's not necessarily active. In general in synastry comparisons with a square aspect between Venus and Saturn there is usually a lack of spontaneous affection. Also,many times one of the partners craves more affection than what is given from the mate.

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i disagree. a composite is a Relationship chart, period. Doesn't matter if its domestic (marriage or otherwise or parent-child, sibling-sibling) or friendship or coworker, employewr-employee, or boyfriend girlfriend. composites are the meeting ground of two individuals. most astro composute literature will state this. it makes sense as they are midpoints of two individual charts, in essence, creating a chart of the respective relationship. most people use composites for intimate love/sexual relationships, but its importance spans well beyond that.
do a composite for yourself and sibling or close friend and see how it works.

MaeMae said:

i disagree. a composite is a Relationship chart, period. Doesn't matter if its domestic (marriage or otherwise or parent-child, sibling-sibling) or friendship or coworker, employewr-employee, or boyfriend girlfriend. composites are the meeting ground of two individuals. most astro composute literature will state this. it makes sense as they are midpoints of two individual charts, in essence, creating a chart of the respective relationship. most people use composites for intimate love/sexual relationships, but its importance spans well beyond that.
do a composite for yourself and sibling or close friend and see how it works.

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I agree, as long as the 2 people are in contact with each other....

I have a platonic friendship with someone, and the Composite is very telling about the "relationship" we have..
Because no matter what we have some sort of relationship with people in our everyday life..