When Will This End?

For the past year and a half I've been having a really difficult time.

As people who have read my posts may know, I was recently officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder, which really explains a lot about my behaviour. I spent half a year in total in the hospital last year (in and out), the longest time I was out of the hospital straight was for 3 months. Every time I start feeling better, I relapse and I end up back in the hospital.

In this time span, I've attempted suicide twice, considered it countless times and abused my prescription medication on many occasions (its monitored now). My arms and legs and scarred up with cuts from self-harm and I've struggled constantly with anorexia/bulimia (despite treatment).

I'm on what I would call proper medication now, without it the mental illnesses are crippling. However, I still feel very down most days for no particular reason. Even when my life seems perfect to me, I still suffer from extremely rapid mood cycling and "possessed" behaviour that's completely out of my control. I'm afraid it will ruin my relationship with my fiance, as I've already been dumped once because of it but was granted another chance.

I don't know how to read transits. What I'm wondering is, is this difficult period of my life drawing to a close any time soon? If I stay on my medication will I stay out of the hospital for good this time? I feel a bit better now, but my hopes aren't up too high as I've only been out of the hospital for a little under a month now.

I find my chart pretty depressing too. The only good aspects are to Pluto. I'm hoping some good can come of it...

you asked,

I don't know how to read transits. What I'm wondering is, is this difficult period of my life drawing to a close any time soon?

Click to expand...

Transiting jupiter will shortly be going through your 6th house of health, so yes, I would expect things to improve

Traditions, responsibilities and regulations are going through a period of revision. Security is often a major concern because the limitations that were in place no longer apply. You may feel vulnerable, find yourself preoccupied with morbidity and death or you may have to deal with corruption on some level. The old solutions to problems don't work any more and you have to find new ways to overcome limitations. This is often an austere period.

Click to expand...

http://www.astrology-x-files.com/transits/pluto-cj-saturn.html

Transits
I use--- 1' approaching, 1' exact and 1' departing. If you click on the link listed below for the online ephemeris it will list all planets at any given time. Learning astrology is like learning a new ‘language’ and obviously the more effort you put into something the more your knowledge and understanding will increase.

astro.com has fee six month transit forecast plus when you get into Extended chart selection, look at the three tabs after calculating a chart under ‘method’ default is circular wheels (on left), middle is special charts and in their you get graphic ephemeris 1yr (or 5years) with natal = transits for 1yr and lots more. BUT you first must learn or memorise the 'glyphs' ie: shorthand for recognising what these maps/graphics mean.

For example when you post or reply to a chart the 'smilies' to the right and just under them [more] if you click on there it will bring up a whole loads of 'glyphs' Mercury Uranus conjunction (+or - 8') trine aspect 120' Libra
http://cafeastrology.com/transits.html
http://cafeastrology.com/transits_2.html
http://www.astro.com/faq/fq_fh_transits_e.htm
http://www.astro.com/astrology/in_transits_e.htm
http://www.astro.com/swisseph/ae/2000/ae_2009.pdf
http://www.khaldea.com/kldaephem/2000/oct2009gmt.shtml
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/learn-astrology/astrology-glyphs.php

Now it's more important to focus on transits from Jupiter to Pluto (poss mars as this is the ignition key)and these planets when aspecting something in your natal chart 'set off' the difficult or nice 'aspects - potential - problems' that your chart expresses. By that I mean if a benefic planet like Jupiter hits/touches/transits your venus, mars or uranus these could be experienced very pleasantly. BUT if your natal venus is afflicted, or badly aspected say conj saturn then jupiter will not has such a good effect. It all depends on how the natal planet is 'aspected'

For me I would say external 'events' must be seen by transits, progressions or Solar arcs to Angles ie: Asc/Desc & MC/IC most other times these events are 'internal, psychological matters as in between the ears'

This last website link is rather nice because it gives interpretations of what the ‘Lord’ of the house(this just means cusp ruler ) means ie: T Jupiter sextiles natal sun, so wherever Leo rules in your chart is connected to the area this transit will be affecting –
http://www.astrology-x-files.com/transits/

Saturn, to Çedyze

Çedyze,

You said:

Çedyze said:

For the past year and a half I've been having a really difficult time...What I'm wondering is, is this difficult period of my life drawing to a close any time soon?

Click to expand...

Right now transiting (duty, also restriction) is on your birth Ascendant (self) indicating a time when you feel personally restricted and begin to look at your personal duty in life.

Dutifully,

Tim

With all those planets in house 5 you'd think I'd have been a lot happier.

Also, question - does this (planets in house 5) make me more fertile at this time? I'm afraid to have sex and I can't go a day without sex! Help!

Çedyze said:

With all those planets in house 5 you'd think I'd have been a lot happier.

Also, question - does this (planets in house 5) make me more fertile at this time? I'm afraid to have sex and I can't go a day without sex! Help!

Click to expand...

Sex and conception is an 8th house matter with modern astrolgoy