Problems with Negative Entities

Drow can only be Chaotic evil, Lawful evil or Neutral evil...

And actually the drow priestesses (aka Clerics, Aka Healer) are the most evil of all the drow, they carry snaked headed cat-o-nine tails with living writhing venomous snakes to whip the males with. Also they have the power to turn those who don't listen into dryders have drow half giant spider. *its a curse*

Cedyze, I did a little google search on "drow" and found that the inventor of dungeons and dragons actually borrowed the word from a Scottish dialect, where it means "troll"--or one of the evil underground spirits of northern mythology. Most other sources that I turned up on a google search described the "drow" as evil.

In the myths of northern Europe there are good underground spirits, like the dwarves of the Snow White fairy tale, but the trolls are not among them. The good underground spirits of this mythology are skilled craftspeople. Some of them how to make beautiful jewelry and powerful swords; and they do help humans who reciprocate good deeds with them.

But your message--and the imagery of the drow--seem very Plutonian.

You have what I would consider to be a difficult chart, with mostly harsh aspects. Your 4th house of early childhood conditioning makes me wonder if you were abused as a child: whether physically, sexually, or perhaps your home was so unstable that you never knew what to expect or whether your needs would be met. If children become traumatized, notably before their brain matures, they can develop post-traumatic stress disorder and have a habit of "splitting", where their mind can be a million miles away from the reality around them.

If this was the case for you, then it will be important to tell this to a psychiatrist, if you have not done so already. Because this may be an additional issue for you.

The one harmonious aspect in your chart is from your very strong Pluto in Scorpio to your sun and Mercury. Pluto is the mythological god of the underworld, and your sun is your identity, while Mercury shows your thought processes.

With a very difficult chart, oftentimes the person will strongly develop the one harmonious aspect that they do have, because looks like the place where the pain stops. But unless they have learned to work with and develop positive understandings of their difficulties, oftentimes they don't have a lot of skill in converting the "easy" aspect into a positive force. Sometimes it just adds a little more excitement or release in a still-difficult life.

So if you find astrology helpful, it would be a good idea to think through some empowering interpretations of your horoscope.

Pluto square Venus/Mars might well give you sexual fantasies involving an underworld figure. But an empowering way to handle it might be to learn all about caves and visit them, or to take up a martial art like karate.

Until I was in my early 30s, I was actually terrified of being alone in the dark. Fortunately there were no evil spirits in the bedroom, it was more like a fear that my consciousness would be annihilated as my soul got sucked into outer space. Sort of hard to explain now, but it was scary. I also had nighmares from which I couldn't awake. I countered this fear by saying prayers, singing to myself, and inventing stories to myself with good things and good people in them. You might see if this works for you.

If you believe in God, than He must be stronger than any evil you encounter--whether real or imaginary. If you don't believe in God, then you can still trust that there are good entities and spirits of light ready to help you.

waybread said:

Cedyze, I did a little google search on "drow" and found that the inventor of dungeons and dragons actually borrowed the word from a Scottish dialect, where it means "troll"--or one of the evil underground spirits of northern mythology. Most other sources that I turned up on a google search described the "drow" as evil.

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Well pegged, waybread.

I am pretty sensitive to stuff like this, and I have barely been able to look at Cedyze's avatar without feeling very disturbed at a deep, deep level. It doesn't feel at all benign to me, especially given the experiences Cedyze has been having.

waybread said:

You have what I would consider to be a difficult chart, with mostly harsh aspects. Your 4th house of early childhood conditioning makes me wonder if you were abused as a child: whether physically, sexually, or perhaps your home was so unstable that you never knew what to expect or whether your needs would be met. If children become traumatized, notably before their brain matures, they can develop post-traumatic stress disorder and have a habit of "splitting", where their mind can be a million miles away from the reality around them.

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Those with PTSD acquired at an early age - which I also suspect is at the bottom of Cedyze's `mental' condition - tend to use any avoidance technique avaliable, the most common of which is leaving the physical body. When you are out of body you are no longer the `keeper' of your body, so anything at all can `get in'. I suspect that this is the reason so many abused kids develop conditions like schizophrenia and other personality disorders.

Cedyze, you firstly have to clean up your environment before you work on protecting your personal space. And astral travelling needs to be totally off the agenda - at least until you are well. Think of it as you wanting to travel to - let's say Iceland - every time you get a chance. You love Iceland, and are obsessed with the place, the people, the language. But every time you go there you come home to a house/flat/room which has been broken in to, and the burglers have left rubbish and faeces behind, which you clean up as best you can - but not totally. Then, 2 months later, you're off to Iceland again, and again you get burgled, and rubbish and awful stuff is left behind. What are you going to do - go to Iceland again because you love it so much you cannot stay away? Or will you stay at home for a while, at least until your home is fully cleaned and deodorised?
Astral travelling when you have dark beings in your space is just asking for trouble.

You eventually have to feel what it is your body knows, and the only way you can is by being in your body. I suspect that the medication keeps you in your body, which is where you need to be for as long into the future as you can see. And in the meantime you have to figure out why it is the astral is more attractive to you than the physical world (and I suspect it is about far more than just your placement of Neptune). The answers - and solutions - to this will be necessary before anything in your life changes.

I am pretty sensitive to stuff like this, and I have barely been able to look at Cedyze's avatar without feeling very disturbed at a deep, deep level. It doesn't feel at all benign to me, especially given the experiences Cedyze has been having.

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Same impression here! I also find the Avatar eerily disturbing.

Those with PTSD acquired at an early age - which I also suspect is at the bottom of Cedyze's `mental' condition - tend to use any avoidance technique avaliable, the most common of which is leaving the physical body. When you are out of body you are no longer the `keeper' of your body, so anything at all can `get in'. I suspect that this is the reason so many abused kids develop conditions like schizophrenia and other personality disorders.

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In Cedyze's other thread From where does this ability come from? I also mentioned that all this could come from childhood trauma. The T-square with Apex Moon-Asc. and including Chiron, 10th and 4th houses, says it all. I totally agree.

Sure, most drow are evil. But that's the reason I picked a drow character - to show that in a bucket full of bad apples, there can be a good one! She does look very Plutonian though.

All of my nurses surmised that I was abused as a child as well, when I described my experiences... but that's the odd thing, my childhood was very nice, even idyllic.

HOWEVER, I've been non stop involved in the occult since I was about 5 or 6 years old and used to see dark entities that came to my bed side at night. They've never attacked me until rather recently however.

but that's the odd thing, my childhood was very nice, even idyllic.

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Sounds just like myself. I always found my childhood wonderful and cannot remember anything much about it, just the feeling that all was OK. My chart shows quite a different picture though.... People who have been abused can completely create a wonderful world of their own, in order to escape the harsh reality. You must have done that and are still doing it.

Cedyze,

I would hardly ever put a horoscope interpretation over and above someone's actual experiences, but sometimes abuse occurs to infants or very young children whose brains are not sufficiently developed to process the information in a rational manner. Consequently, they cannot remember the abuse as an older child or adult would; but the trauma manifests through the kinds of behaviour you describe.

Sadly, sometimes babies are sexually abused: sometimes by a family member, or by a child care provider.

You don't mention your parents. Assuming that they are part of your life now, how do they respond to your issues? Do you discuss them with your parents? You might ask your mother if you were ever abused as a very young child.

Also, note how you changed your story about the Drows. Initially you said [LOL] that your avatar was a good healing elf. When I gave you the evidence about them from what I gleaned from the Internet, you said that they were mostly evil, but you wanted to show that some of them could be good. As you progress towards healing, it will be important for you to be as honest with people as possible, and to minimize denial of the truth.

I am not trying to blame you or moralize with you here, Cedyze, although I know I do come across as judgmental. Rather, a symptom of people with mental illness is that their fantasy life takes over their ability or desire to be truthful with others.

Finally Cedyze, isn't the most rational explanation of the evil spirits that visit you, that they are merely products of your imagination? There is nothing wrong with a vivid imagination--unless it produces the deeply negative experiences you've described. When people are schizophrenic, their imaginary beings and voices are extremely real to them, such that they lose the ability to distinguish what is a product of their brain, vs. what has any external objective reality.

So please let us know--in reality--that you have talked to your doctor, and gotten a referral with a psychiastrist, and told him the full story that you have shared with us.

With all good wishes for your journey towards healing, W.

Cedyze dont mess with a mental illness, you need to TAKE YOUR MEDICATION AND GO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST!

No one on here should be giving you are chart reading, you need no encouragement for anything occult your perception isnt clear, the only encouragement you should be getting from people on this site is that you need to see a doctor.

If you really want to be better and become clear in your perception taking your medication and seeing a specialist will help you.

PLEASE GO AND GET HELP ASAP!

starlink said:

Same impression here! I also find the Avatar eerily disturbing.

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Same here!!!!
I first saw your Avatar a couple of days ago but I didn't pay any attention since I didn't read your thread....but tonight for no apparent reason I found myself reading this thread and I honestly don't get any good vibes from the picture....

Cheers
Athan.

R4VEN said:

Well pegged, waybread.

I am pretty sensitive to stuff like this, and I have barely been able to look at Cedyze's avatar without feeling very disturbed at a deep, deep level. It doesn't feel at all benign to me, especially given the experiences Cedyze has been having.

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After reading the title and entering the thread it almost made me shiver when i
saw the avatar. I thought, what in the world have made you chose such dread
to represent you ? It realy hit me. Idont have wish to judge your choices,
but, woman, stop and think a lil bit, about where is that you lend your
identity power from ? ?

By looking at your 4th House and this make me think that
you have grown up in some sort of eccentric (from the average point
of wiew) but rigidly structured belief system community with devotional
practice required service on a daily basis. Beliefs are bone structures of our
reality, belive in something is the way to aknowledge it, to support it, to
nurture it, and trough aknowledge(paying) respepct), support(share) and
nurturing(responsabitlity) we bond our chains with Life. Beliving is the way
we give birth, raise and let reality take its own life.

Even scientist say that we live in Multiversum rather than a Universum and
manny of us are blessed with own expiriences that there are different realms
and forms of life, as well. Those who expirienced, on the other hand havent
always come with positive feedback. There is an inherent quality of human
spirit to belive in the goodness of creation. On a large scale many of us
withness, or at least, i withness that that is not always the case, in fact, it
seems that vampirism is quite an acustomed way to live in our reality. I
think we are (and have been) disciplined to belive with as litle much
thought for the truth as possible. And, i should call it clear and loud, and i
would done it if there's a slightest chance that you get me right. There is
so much disinfo around. So i will put it this way, God is Truth. Thruth is
Love. Love is Life. Can it possibly be that simple?

But to aknowledge truth without judge is another thing. I should put it this
way; is always a mather of energy. We all seem to be called to judge
what is right and what is wrong within our power to faith and without our
power to discern. What we belive and want to belive have not the obligation
to be consistent with the truth. Well, too bad for us, becouse, as long as
this let us stay alive we dont take the burden about how and why. We do
not want this kind of responsability. But without responsabitlity there is
neither awereness, and what is baaaad come as a response to the
fact that we emit such a lowlife 'wibe'.

When the term 'Sin' was forged it had an entirely different energy behind.
It had the function to map the spots that can trap consciousness make it
deteriorate and eaven decay. Since it was manufactured in a overbearing
nest of guilt, people began to fall hard, with consciousness totaly spirited
away. Shame and blame condamned us to stay kneeling and wounded.

And sincerly, i think that with this 10th House / will call
you on to talk about those things.

As you know, they tend to stick BD and schizo on many many disorders
that dont fit in their net and sterile professional frames, and when they
define you that is almost same as to say that they have no clue what is
with you. And schizophrenia is the biggest 'hot potato' in this field and as
well when the public mind is met. Schizophrenia is the inquisition system
to allow witch hunt for this millennium and due to negative propaganda
wide feared as well.

I think that R4VEN hit it right, medications ground you. So stick with it. Go
wandering to far in space and have lose touch with the planet for sure. She
provide us a shield whitin the magnetic core that stabilize the immunity
system.

Your ground (4th House) has pretty much weight on it. Maybe i should
say borderline bearable ? Sun in 10th shows that your gravity is centred
in the conscious mind, and not otherwise.

This nasty combo atunes you to import other realms,
with MC you can eaven use this gift to teach others how to do the
same, becouse, basicly, is your main asset. You have the blessings of
trough the highlights of mind( 9th )a mightful ability to expand awareness .

Wat seems to make you 'tilt' is the axis.
This is the coridor through wich you expirience attack. I would rather say
that you snaped than that your ill . . mm . . 'said that you practice occult
since your 6th year ? Have you been guided or you did it on your own ?
Those guys, i think you inharitated them and if you just went trough
puberty there is your reason why they attacked you just now . . .

Schizophrenia is simply a terrible illness, and in many cases it is genetical.

It is clear that patients need to be treated with medicine, but they are continually confused by people who, for different reasons, think they know better than science, medicine or specialists and try to give their own recipe. It does not have to be like in this thread, because most people are not into these strange topics, but anyway there are always people who see themselves as God and give their own advice.

The medicine is not perfect yet, because patients do not like it, and they prefer to hear those other Gods and Goddesses who show them other paths.

Then, the patients end up in a hospital, tied to the bed, or they kill someone.

http://www.emofree.com/



Dunno, you have really difficult aspects to your moon, and an interesting 4th house. Moons also on asc.
It's an interesting technique for clearing up some things.
All disclaimers come with the link.
Might help,
Tsquare

This is interesting. You were diagnosed with schizophrenia? when? and why?

I too travel in the astral plane on occasion.. not by choice though, is this the same with you, or do you purposely go there? I am not mentally ill, but like you, probably not all that grounded in the physical.. these creatures you see are not a vision they are real, you can talk to anyone who travels in the astral plane, it is scary and wierd, and doesnt make much sense, but real none the less..

the fact that you see them when you are awake and consiouss is a bit concerning, I dont know alot about schizophrenia, but if you are not taking your meds is that a symptom?

It doesnt sound so good. I think you might need help if it gets too bad.

I used to see shadows in my room at night when I was a kid, (in astral world maybe) but they didnt "hurt" me....Just touched me on my arms sometimes. Scary "dreams" for kids.

I remeber when I went to this ESP course, cause I was curious. And I met a woman who told me that she kept seeing terrible things when she tried remote viewing (what the course was about). I wouldnt recommend a person in such a mental state to actively seek out "alternative" stuff, because it might do more harm than good. I think people with some kind of negative energy or wavelength or whatever one calls it should stay away from the astral world. You could try sleeping in such a way that you avoid your astral travels, or maybe medication if its still bad?

Maybe you should look away from the dream world for a while just to get your mind back on track. Try therapy also?

I tend to agree, if you are finding so much trouble there, than it is probably best to avoid. Perhaps a sign to work on being more part of the physical plane, do some grounding excersises before bed.. or work on putting up a protection field, use your mind, and tell them to stay away, or stop.. and I know medication is not the best thing, but if you are really diagnosed with schizophrenia and you find all this happening, it is probably best to stay on your meds. Is there are reason why you dont take them? how do they make you feel? how do you feel when you are not on them?

I agree about seeing your Doc. But as far as the paranormal goes....you have transiting Pluto currently in your 4th house which is home. And it's squaring your early Libra rising.

I don't really have a choice, I project spontaneously most nights, though I can project from trance at will sometimes as well. I have avoided deliberate astral projection lately because of the attacks.

However I was attacked again last night after a spontaneous projection. I got out of my body, walked outside my door and a demon grabbed me and attempted to rape me. Luckily I was close enough to my body that I could will myself back in it.

Its beginning to terrify me just to go to sleep at night.

Cedyze, what does your psychiatrist say about this? If you are not consulting with one now, you should be.

The concern about schizophrenia is that sometimes these "entities" tell the person to harm herself, or somebody else. What then?

In the meantime, are you part of a family unit? You mention having a fiance. Involve them in supporting you. Develop some positive affirmations.

As you know, I do not believe that these entities are objectively real. But they are very real to you, and that is what matters. You need more medical and/or therapeutic help than you are getting now.

Hmmm, sounds terrible

Maybe you can just try to scare them off or something then? I think that if you are scared they will be more interested, cause you will attract them by thought. Think that you are stronger than them and that they cant harm you, cause you will be surrounded by good energy. Light? Think about light and goodness. Prepare your self confidence. Can it help to have some dim night light at night perhaps? It helps me, and I see better than in the dark when Im "out" of my body.

What about a healer?

Hope something will help you soon!

I think she needs more than a healer... she needs someone who is adept at removing malicious spirits!

A healer wouldn't have the first clue how to do that