You said that you hate the people but can't leave because of the children. Are you absolutely sure the children will get ****** if you leave? Has the law told you that in case of a divorce the children will get to stay with the father?
Everyone has their threshold of what they can endure, no matter how tolerant our 12H placements want to believe. If you feel like you can no longer stand those people, it means you reached your threshold and your body is desperately telling you to stop. And I agree with David about the age transiting. Everyone is eager to see Aqua age, but before that can happen something has to be done, a pretty big change. After all changes doesn't just come, you have to work for it.
I also suspect that there is some heavy transit going on in your 12H or your 4H, heavy enough to push you to the breaking point. If anything I think it's actually pretty good if what they are saying to you is to stop putting up with ******** and start rebuilding your home life.
Maybe contact a good relative/friend for a temporary accommodation before leaving?