Just broke up with love of my life.. will we work it out in the long term?

I just broke up with the guy I love because he deceived me. I completely love him but I can’t accept that behaviour. He’s made it extremely clear that he is sorry and wrong and will do all the therapy and things I expect, and he’s committed to everything it takes to make the relationship work. So I want to trust him but of course it depends on what he does, not just what he’s promising now. I’m finding it hard to just trust him again..

I’ve drawn up a synastry and a composite chart, I was wondering if anyone could glance over them and tell me whether it looks like a life-partners kind of relation or a short term thing. We’ve been together 10 months, he moved to the other side of the world to be with me, but I don’t want to waste time either.. if the charts are good I’d just like that bit of mental confidence it would give me, but a realistic perspective if it looks unlikely

Here is the page with our natal composite and synastry charts, (me on the inside) as well as the aspect table for synastry
https://imgur.com/a/QwONHLY

Please help me!

His Neptune conjunct his Juno shows what his approach to marriage is. Beware. In the composite moon/venus are opposite Neptune. Deception is imbedded in the relationship.

ElenaJ said:

His Neptune conjunct his Juno shows what his approach to marriage is. Beware. In the composite moon/venus are opposite Neptune. Deception is imbedded in the relationship.

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Ok 😞 I’ll read about these connections, thanks so much for your comment. The only thing is that my Juno is conjunct my Neptune as well, though not so tightly (6 deg vs 2 deg), but my approach to marriage is definitely about radical honesty.. idealism and falling in love at first sight has been a thing for me though

Could anyone point me in the right direction to learn about composite Venus opposing Neptune? I understand that it’s about fantasy and delusion and that reality needs to set in, and this has really been the case, however I feel like a veil has been lifted at this point. I’m wondering if there would always be “deception” or whether after a certain period of time (and with more awareness) this aspect can be transmuted into a more enlightened expression.. for example “choosing to see the best in each other”.. I don’t want to delude myself here but I want to understand if the aspect is just ‘bad’ or has a higher potential

Yes, it has a higher potential, in terms of developing a spiritual form of love. But only if you are both on a spiritual pathway and he is genuinely into self-awareness and self-improvement. I notice he's a fair bit younger than you are, so perhaps he needs to go through a number of neptunian relationships where he loses the girl because of deception, and then FINALLY he discovers that it never works out too well for him. If you took him back, you would be in some way 'making it OK' and setting up the possibility of having to forgive him again in the future.

His Sun-Mercury in Pisces square Mars in Gemini show a man who could be well practised in the arts of deception and the silver tongue that's needed to cover one's tracks in case of discovery. Mars in Gemini will shower you with flowery words to reel you back in.

Your Sun squares his Uranus which is about asserting one's need for freedom including walking away, and returning when he likes. The composite chart has Sun conjunct Uranus opposite Chiron and in t-square to Jupiter. Did he play the God Jupiter (chasing nymphs?). Your Mars in Sagittarius will be reflected by the men you meet. You, meanwhile, are playing the Venus-Neptune aspect by wondering if you should have him back. Venus-Neptune is allowing and forgiving even when it's not in her long-term interest to be.

Uranian relationships are typically short-lived; starting with a burst of excitement but once the novelty of someone wears off and the mundane reality of Saturn (which is needed for a long-term relationship) kicks in, Uranus gets bored. The guy also has Venus in Aries (likes a love chase) and Moon and Jupiter in Leo (needs to keep the romance going, needs constant affirmation/approval of himself, will seek flattery/compliments wherever he can find it).

I notice that there is a Mars-Saturn square in the composite which is in contrast to the Sun-Uranus opposition. Does that square reflect some restraint in your sex life?

I agree with the other posters.

This relationship looks like it would be short-lived. An exact venus opposition neptune in the composite is most likely going to be a major issue.
Also in synastry looks like both Suns are square uranus. So it would surprise me if this was a long lasting union.

Also people with venus in aries- can stray; generally speaking. Once the high of being with someone new runs its course.

ashriia said:

I agree with the other posters.

This relationship looks like it would be short-lived. An exact venus opposition neptune in the composite is most likely going to be a major issue.
Also in synastry looks like both Suns are square uranus. So it would surprise me if this was a long lasting union.

Also people with venus in aries- can stray; generally speaking. Once the high of being with someone new runs its course.

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As an aside, the worst condition to find in a natal chart (and hope there's not backlash to this post) is Venus in Aquarius and double-bodied signs, e.g., Gemini along the horizon axis. Venusian Variability is the phrase there, in love, in attitude toward love and actions in love. And it becomes exceptionally bad when Uranus forms a hard aspect to Venus, but as a general rule of thumb (as there are exceptions to every rule), these are conditions, separate or together, that can make a person challenging relationship wise.

Sweet Pea said:

If you took him back, you would be in some way 'making it OK' and setting up the possibility of having to forgive him again in the future.

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Ugh thanks for this reply and your honesty.. well we have taken a break from the relationship to work on ourselves, just keeping the basic commitment to each other for now. As it’s Venus retrograde I didn’t want to take any potentially drastic measures until at least it goes direct. He’s just gone overseas now for three months and is about to start seeing a psychologist .. We will reassess when he comes back Jan 30 but I told him I wouldn’t consider a relationship with him unless he at least spends those three months in therapy to work on his addiction to deception.. he admitted for the first time in his life that he lies a lot, has lied to me a lot, and doesn’t even know why he does it sometimes. He seems genuine enough about changing this habit

Sweet Pea said:

His Sun-Mercury in Pisces square Mars in Gemini show a man who could be well practised in the arts of deception and the silver tongue that's needed to cover one's tracks in case of discovery. Mars in Gemini will shower you with flowery words to reel you back in.

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He is definitely practised in those arts, the Merc square Mars is not pretty and I wonder if it’s possible to transcend in oneself

Sweet Pea said:

Your Sun squares his Uranus which is about asserting one's need for freedom including walking away, and returning when he likes. The composite chart has Sun conjunct Uranus opposite Chiron and in t-square to Jupiter. Did he play the God Jupiter (chasing nymphs?).

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Not chasing other girls while we were together, however he was continuing a secret correspondence with his ex, who is obsessed with him and still telling him she loves him etc. She’s on the other side of the world but he would hang out with her when he went home and tell me he had cut her off. I don’t think they had sexual contact although she was stroking his ego in an inappropriate way (Jup in Leo). Our relationship/lives are split between three countries — our homes and the one we live in. Also he is almost nine years younger, we are both bisexual, I have children, he speaks another language, so our relationship is fundamentally Uranian

Sweet Pea said:

Uranian relationships are typically short-lived; starting with a burst of excitement but once the novelty of someone wears off and the mundane reality of Saturn (which is needed for a long-term relationship) kicks in, Uranus gets bored. The guy also has Venus in Aries (likes a love chase) and Moon and Jupiter in Leo (needs to keep the romance going, needs constant affirmation/approval of himself, will seek flattery/compliments wherever he can find it).

I notice that there is a Mars-Saturn square in the composite which is in contrast to the Sun-Uranus opposition. Does that square reflect some restraint in your sex life?

Click to expand...

I haven’t noticed boredom per se, although I know he needs to feel like I’m a challenge and not ever completely certain or ‘conquered’.. he definitely needs compliments and validation which is not too much of a problem as I’m a Libra and like to flirt/flatter anyway The square might represent anything else but it’s definitely not restraint in our sex life.. that’s one very dynamic, open and heavenly aspect of our relationship

ashriia said:

I agree with the other posters.

This relationship looks like it would be short-lived. An exact venus opposition neptune in the composite is most likely going to be a major issue.
Also in synastry looks like both Suns are square uranus. So it would surprise me if this was a long lasting union.

Also people with venus in aries- can stray; generally speaking. Once the high of being with someone new runs its course.

Click to expand...

I don’t want it to be true but I know you might be right. I’ve had a Uranian conjunction with someone before and the end of that was completely sudden and unexpected.. The way that his Sun squares my Uranus and his own, and my Sun squares his Uranus might be similarly disruptive. On the other hand it *could* be about the fact the we will always need to spend periods of time apart, and living part of the year in one place and part in another, since we have homes/businesses/families in three countries

The highly strung Venus is Aries does not comfort me but I wonder if I’m being optimistic thinking that it could also be looked at as him wanting someone who is independent and can/must/will travel as much as he does

Cypocryphy said:

As an aside, the worst condition to find in a natal chart (and hope there's not backlash to this post) is Venus in Aquarius and double-bodied signs, e.g., Gemini along the horizon axis. Venusian Variability is the phrase there, in love, in attitude toward love and actions in love. And it becomes exceptionally bad when Uranus forms a hard aspect to Venus, but as a general rule of thumb (as there are exceptions to every rule), these are conditions, separate or together, that can make a person challenging relationship wise.

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Ha! Ok so Venus is at its worst in the four mutable signs, not nice in Aquarius, debilitated in Scorpio — luckily he only has it in untrustworthy Aries..! I guess it’s more likely it would be badly placed than not! The Uranus square is not good, I have to understand more about that. We both have the dreaded natal Venus-Neptune square which has definitely blinded me to reality in the past...
I can’t find anything about Venusian Variability, where is a good place to start reading about it? Thanks for this info!

I just want to say thanks everyone that’s commented so far and helped me with their wisdom and experience, and sorry if I’m a bit defensive.. I don’t want to give up if there’s a hope but.. I’m not going to keep my eyes closed and with this new awareness of the risks I’m facing I won’t be allowing any more concessions

lux111 said:

On the other hand it *could* be about the fact the we will always need to spend periods of time apart, and living part of the year in one place and part in another, since we have homes/businesses/families in three countries

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Absolutely. That is a good outlet for this energy, which will not be destructive to the relationship. Uranian connections don't mean unhappy relationships or people who cheat- they just require freedom/independance/and something different than the norm so as to avoid the negative associations.
However, if there are trust issues, and issues around lying.. that's problematic for the long term. Trust your intuition, not what you want to believe, but what your intuition is saying to you... and make your choices according to that. best of luck to you.

lux111 said:

Ha! Ok so Venus is at its worst in the four mutable signs, not nice in Aquarius, debilitated in Scorpio — luckily he only has it in untrustworthy Aries..! I guess it’s more likely it would be badly placed than not! The Uranus square is not good, I have to understand more about that. We both have the dreaded natal Venus-Neptune square which has definitely blinded me to reality in the past...
I can’t find anything about Venusian Variability, where is a good place to start reading about it? Thanks for this info!

Click to expand...

Hahah. No worries. First "Venusian Variability" is my own term, just playing with alliteration. You won't find it anywhere except in perhaps a handwritten journal of mine.

When I say Venus in Aquarius, I am coming from personal experience, whether you assign Uranus as the ruler or Saturn (I assign Saturn), you'll want to look at the condition of the planet, too. Anyway, just from personal experience, I have become wary of women with Venus in Aquarius. But Venus in its fall is actually worse than when it's in its detriment. So Virgo and Aquarius. And then, those signs ruled by Mars.

When I said doubled bodied signs, I meant on the descendant primarily. So Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces, and in that order of worst to best, all being relative. These are not the best signs to have on the descendant but Pisces is definitely better than Gemini. And interestingly, of the two, you have Jupiter as it's ruler. So the cause for multiple marriages is the need for growth, and one person sometimes doesn't fit the bill. Of all of these, Gemini seems to be the worst, and many will marry more than once, due to the Mercurial nature of the sign and the fact that Mercury is heavily influenced by sign and planets. I think of it as a capsule with energy shooting in different directions, so it's a situation of boredom and attention deficit to the partner. Ironically, Venus in Gemini by itself does not have the same effect. In fact, these people tend to be committed or at least have happy relationships. (Perhaps Virgo on the descendant should be mentioned as well.)

The Venus - Neptune square is not as bad as I think people have portrayed it here. Remember that Neptune is the higher octave of Venus. So while Venus affects much more the earthly estate, Neptune is more concerned with the spiritual or heavenly realms (watery too). With a square, you have manifestation. It could be the manifestation of a potential soulmate in the earthly realm.

The problem is the people involved. I'd have to look at natal charts first. Where in the evolution of the soul are these people? What is their environment? Choices and decisions affect this. There are no guarantees of union, just potentials. This could be a relationship that falls apart but by some miracle, years later, you find each other again. I don't know but what I am saying is that relationships are complicated, and sometimes those who leave our life (if that happens) will reappear in some weird way years later. It's happened to me numerous times. Not necessarily in romance and love but in friendships and stuff like that.

Anyhow, I'm babbling ... rambling ... digressing, that's the right word. I hope this provided some clarity to my last post.

As a post note, sometimes the aspects that are formed are not so concerting but, rather, the nature of the planets themselves and how well they blend. Also, what sign is influencing them. But Venus and Neptune get along quite well, and I dare say as much as Jupiter and Venus. So you have to account for the nature of the planets too and how they harmonize.

lux111 said:

Ugh thanks for this reply and your honesty.. well we have taken a break from the relationship to work on ourselves, just keeping the basic commitment to each other for now. As it’s Venus retrograde I didn’t want to take any potentially drastic measures until at least it goes direct. He’s just gone overseas now for three months and is about to start seeing a psychologist .. We will reassess when he comes back Jan 30 but I told him I wouldn’t consider a relationship with him unless he at least spends those three months in therapy to work on his addiction to deception.. he admitted for the first time in his life that he lies a lot, has lied to me a lot, and doesn’t even know why he does it sometimes. He seems genuine enough about changing this habit

He is definitely practised in those arts, the Merc square Mars is not pretty and I wonder if it’s possible to transcend in oneself


Not chasing other girls while we were together, however he was continuing a secret correspondence with his ex, who is obsessed with him and still telling him she loves him etc. She’s on the other side of the world but he would hang out with her when he went home and tell me he had cut her off. I don’t think they had sexual contact although she was stroking his ego in an inappropriate way (Jup in Leo). Our relationship/lives are split between three countries — our homes and the one we live in. Also he is almost nine years younger, we are both bisexual, I have children, he speaks another language, so our relationship is fundamentally Uranian


I haven’t noticed boredom per se, although I know he needs to feel like I’m a challenge and not ever completely certain or ‘conquered’.. he definitely needs compliments and validation which is not too much of a problem as I’m a Libra and like to flirt/flatter anyway The square might represent anything else but it’s definitely not restraint in our sex life.. that’s one very dynamic, open and heavenly aspect of our relationship

Click to expand...

Just want to say that Mars/Saturn here usually in a composite means that there is some obstacle to activities. An example would be one partner working nights the other days so they rarely see each other OR they impede each other from taking some activity or course of action. I’m being vague in some intances. But that’s what usually occurs.