I have a aspect pattern Pandora's Box, need help to understand.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

zenith said:

yes, it means, for example we gather energies in any given moment, we take these input and it gives vibes of emotions, intents, possibilities... yet how do we react to these input would ultimately be "the making of realities", it manifest the emotions of others, intend of others...for example, we can aggregate the angry, then anger as a seed manifested to a reality of something much bigger. So when I gather energies in the air, I have a natural reaction to it, sometimes it's phasing, a reactant of "the surface", like return anger with anger... yet there are more "real" "lasting" emotions underneath the surface, like I love this person, I will regret it if I let my anger get hold of me and manifest something that's not my true intent. this is an example, it can be something on the grander scale, so to let what energy out of us, if we are concussions beings, it's a conscious choice.

So when I gather energies in the air, I have a natural reaction to it, but I don't "react" in the reflex sense, words can be none spoken, until they are ready to be said.

A lot of times, silence is my choice.

Click to expand...

Yes, I understand what you say. It's about vibes, presence, intuition, psychic sensation, etc. You sense very much of what's around you. You have a strong sixth sense and maybe even psychic talents. Yes, certainly. Maybe you have a Narrow Path... With this many yods in a chart anytime you are not on your path there is chaos until you get back on the path... then life is beautiful, meaningful, purposeful. There are conditions to meet. It can be overwhelming.

Also as mentioned by the Hubers in regards to the Pandora Box:

A person with this structure should already have learnt as a child that what he says can be taken the wrong way. This teaches him to keep everything to himself. This can mean that as an adult, he has forgotten what a treasure he has inside him, and he then needs to work on himself to rediscover it.

Click to expand...

I think the above statement can explain why you may move in silence... Possibly what your next steps are too...

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

I have learned so much in this thread! Pandora's Box is new to me.

So complex and you-all are so complex. Really wonderful.

I do want to repeat that when blessed with a very complicated horoscope/life that it is wise to cling to one's NorthNode. As long as you are headed towards your NN, you know you are on Path.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

Just thinking out loud a bit...

I've often read that with yods, the native tends to be stuck in the sextile aspect since it is most comfortable. So, with the pandora, the third yod which points into two sextiles (Saturn and Neptune in zenith's case) may already be very much part of the native already and may not need "discovery" in the traditional sense for yods.

When, I consider my pandora, this is very much true. Venus and Neptunian characteristics have been very present in my life since I was very young. It's interesting looking back and contemplating this.

In the case of the pandora, there are 3 yods present. 2 yods feed the base of the third yod and load it up towards the apex of the 3rd yod which incidentally is also the apex of a minor grand trine or talent triangle. So, from this I think we can expect a large focus on this main apex.

I've read with talent triangles that they typically manfiest later in life. Maybe with a yod apex into it, it is recognized earlier since it has more energy (aspects) impacting it.

Another suggestion for zenith would be to research the Sabian symbol meanings of the complete pattern. According to member PiercetheVale, one should start from Virgo and move clockwise. So for Zenith, this would be the Moon 3'58" Virgo which would be interpreted as 4 Virgo. Follow with Saturn at 5' Cancer, etc. There could be a good message when one follows the "story" to the end of the pattern. I'm unsure if in this case the Sun/Ur connection in Libra would be part of the pattern. I know in mine it's not. Similarly, Mercury would not be part of the pattern and Venus may be due to the conjunction. Nevertheless it's an interesting exercise.
http://mindfire.ca/The Sabian Symbols/An Astrological Mandala - Contents.htm

For example, in zenith's case we see strong symbolism with the definition of 4 Virgo and what she described early on about how she feels about people:

PHASE 154 (VIRGO 4°): BLACK AND WHITE CHILDREN PLAY TOGETHER HAPPILY.
KEYNOTE: The overcoming of socio-cultural prejudices.
Freedom from all the forms, biases and idiosyncrasies of the particular culture and class in which one has been born and educated is a sine qua non of the consciousness truly "on the Path." The ideal of universal brotherhood underlies all great spiritual teachings, for they all are like branches of the One Tree, Man, in his divine state. This does not mean there are no racial differences, but rather that these differences have a functional value in terms of the whole organism of Man — and of the planet Earth.
At this fourth stage the basic technique which applies to all truly spiritual progress is clearly stated. Every human being should be seen, approached and warmly met as a "child of God," or in less religious terms as an exemplar of Man. Such a status gives to every social and interpersonal group the character of a BROTHERHOOD.

Click to expand...

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

gen6K,

I get very confused when I try to read what you wrote, but when I try to gather the energy of the riddle, it come to me in three words: lose of control.

I guess one thing I have learned was the Cosmo do not work with the flow of mankind, we have to find our place in the Cosmo and plug in that energy. So it means our plans (creation of man) sometimes is an attempt to shape the universe and other people to our desire, which is the desire of one human being, no matter how hard we try, all we learn from it was "failure", because the ideas of man can fail, it's normal, but the universe teaches us in everything we do, it is up to us to remove that human gaze from our failure, and close our eyes, and see what the universe trying to tell us in every action and reaction.

This lead to the description of my vision of the creator...

To me, the Cosmo has give us its gift and teachings the moment we are born, regardless our color or understanding. A love that is beyond our human understanding would never set up obstacles or ladders for the selected few... it has to be accessible, in plain sight, available at any given time, to every one. And that can only be ONE THING.

Our honest emotions. yes, to me the creator is teaching us through our emotions. We may never understood each other's language, culture, learning... but we universally understand tears, smile, hug, hurt... we understand, in an instant, everyone.

Everyone of us is a bad parent at some point, yet everyone of us, regardless the parental skills of our parents, has the capability to become a complete being on our own. we instinctively know it's good to love, because we know how it feels like to be love; harm is bad, because we know how it feels like to get hurt... we learn so many things in this world, because we feel them...so feel them. and ask why...we feel this way, and so many self-discoveries awaits us.

The gift of the Cosmo is simple, it is joy...like the little match girl, on the night she died, she didn't feel pain at her passing, she felt happiness and warmth, from the memory being loved, her own love.

Love is stronger than any pain that can happen to us. that's the gift.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

grkemmer,

Yes, I do feel the inclusiveness of...everything, sometimes it's so overwhelming...like fitting a house in an envelope. I read the various aspect patterns, there something said about David star I identify with, it's about the over stretch of energy, not so much in the sense of losing focus, yes, that too, but rather the limitation of this human form.

I don't feel a human being should be stretched so thin to have all these input on...almost everything. if I let it, everything that happen to me, tiniest things can stretch to a deep meaning in someway... it feels like the more I grow, the worse this get, like loud noise and increasingly over sensitive ears...sometimes I have to shut it all out before I just shut down, and only allow myself be this state of receiving a few hours a day...it drains me so much, all these understandings.

I like ocean, watching waves, fisher man, take long walks, these are calming energies, people can be too intense for me at times, but people are adorable... it's all about balance...

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

zenith said:

I don't feel a human being should be stretched so thin to have all these input on...almost everything...

Click to expand...

If we think that your soul chose this incarnation for these challenges... Does that alter your perception?

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

Stillone,

I don't know too much about astrology beside the basics, I feel lost with the advanced astrological language...yods, it vibrates somewhere, I remember something about becoming physically sick with physiological ties, that I identify, and something about been bailed out by mystical force when in deep trouble, I don't know...but I do feel I am watched over, taken care of by some unseen force, do you feel the same way with so many yods in your chart too? and I definitely identify with the part about knowing words can be taken the wrong way earlier on with pandora's box...

sometimes I feel I need to control these energies, but it's very hard, most of my evolution didn't come from order and control as in Mercury( may be this has to do with its not as connected), but intuitive perceptual energy and emotions (the universal stars and the moon), mars drain me, like it had to spend these energy like an irresponsible credit card holder, lol. I feel the planets that are not as connected to the big pattern, like venues, and sun, and mercury actually keeps me "sane", balance, love, control...lots of fire in me, burns so bright and intense when that control slips, then I turn to ashes afterwards, lol. oh, and earth melts in the universe, oops, flew away. air is good, that keep me sane too, water is connected to the emotional parts, yeah, I had to keep myself from not to cry in a seminar today at the mention of the classroom might be the only "happy place" in some student's life...

words do not come easy for me, words always come after the understanding, sometimes it never comes, sometimes it flows, sometimes a few lines can drain so much of me, there are so many meanings attached to everything.

weekend is coming, this is good, ocean and peace.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

Have you had a light body awakening? I think you should have by now and I don't know how you work with these energies (but I have an idea), I think the main point is to be discriminative on what energies you take in, what you let out and keeping your frequency high at all times. Finding a way of output, especially creatively is crucial for some people, you'll see in time you'll have a better perspective on what to take in. Also, taking control of your experiences, I don't mean putting them into schemes before you experience them, but being prepared, and tranquil and openly aware of what's going on, will sure help. Breathing techniques is one thing to go by, and having safe places, that are yours to go in whereever you may be at the moment, in your mind, when input gets too much also help. I'm sure you could benefit from grounding and centering techniques. As I see you take your distance, and rightly so, from the recommendations here; and are already selective in your ways being your choice and intake; I'm freely recommending whatever comes to my mind, I know them all to be helpful.

You'd also benefit from using crystals, a lot. Black obsidian will soften the energy coming at you, and you'll taek your distance better and feel safer, and black tourmaline will keep you away from negativity. Also amethyst for sobriety, at times, and smoky quartz for grounding. These crystals I'm sure would help.

When you have a light body awakening, you are actually breathing into the enrgy that you are and aware of most of the energies going about. I think you must be sure to find ways to feel safer and these crystals will help. I think you might also benefit from having something in mind that is attuning and exclusively yours, like a check point when you want to get away from oter things, be it a sound, a song, an image.

I actually also wonder how your Vesta and Pallas are placed. Could you add them and re-post your chart? Also the Galactic Center, Spirit, Angel and Anubis too. You can find these asteroids in a link under the box of additional objects in astro.com.

Also I have just read you you have problems with energy cords. Please read up on cutting energy cords, work on your third eye chakra, and work with a professional if needed. There are many distant healign videos on youtube and very teaching ones, I'm sure you'd benefit. but as I have given their links too much already, if needed I can send you the links by private message.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

StillOne said:

If we think that your soul chose this incarnation for these challenges... Does that alter your perception?

Click to expand...

It's tough when energies are low... and the hyper drives won't slow down, because normally it takes more energy to calm it, yet when the need to clam are pretty bad, it's when energies are low... May be that's why I'm here, to learn to control it.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

Much of the concepts you mentioned above are foreign to me, I had to google a bit on what is light body awakening. So it's about the flow of energy...yes, it resonate with me.

In my own world, energy of the Cosmo flow in me in two way, usually I took a long walk in the morning everyday, during which time I shut down the outside world and process everything went through me prior(my experiences), its meaning and such. Like digesting in a way... Usually at some point of my walk I feel the energy of earth flow trough me towards the sky, like I'm a living tree basking in sunlight, like I can simply open my arms wide and tilt my face and just smile and feel fresh air, sun light, peace. A this time life as we know it are very very far from my psyche. Even what I just processed felt like tucked away somewhere.

Then there are times when I really need a "lift" from something more drastic on the personal level, I dance to heart pounding music and basically let rhythm and dance take over me, it lifts my spirt very high, strangely elevates me like flying, like soaring in the sky. I call it self lifting via shear craziness. Lol.

These two ways are usually how I lift/manage "physical" energy. energy of being.

Then there is the energy of choices, more like mental energy, like when certain emotion come over me via a negative origin, I "open" a mental lock, like... Releasing love. Open my heart. Then compassion fills me, at these times I am usually very careful with decision making, because in that state I "give" to which these giving can be very well mis-conceived... It is as difficult an act of unconditional receiving as it's unconditional giving...not many people know what is unconditional receiving...

I usually chose silence. So silence to me is very dynamic, but to the outside world... It's just silence.

Then there are times when my energy is way too low to function, like now, I had a foot injure that prevented me from my morning walks for weeks now, as well as dancing, I can feel that built up of " toxicant" in my psyche. So many things was unprocessed, I shut down in a way from taking anything in. But that none-flowing energy processing is very unhealthy, I feel the full force of unable to keep the door close to the out side, and unable to keep the door close to contain information from inside... Hard to describe. Yet the pressure of energy makes me hyper aware of everything, like a pressure cooker... It almost feel like this expending of inner pressure has changed something structural and I have been feeling different vibes than the balance of before. I had felt this way before, but it usually happened with an emotional experience. Now it happens on the shifting of energy balance via...a foot injure?!, it scares me somewhat...

I really don't know the depth of astrological charts, I have disclosed my birth info in an earlier post, can you get what you need from that info? I'll be taking that information out next week, as Stillone cautioned me, for privacy concerns.

Thank you, actually thank you all here, it is different for me to feel... Unconditionally cared for...and not feel like a monster...because I hurt people by not able to be what they need me to be.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

First thing first, you got to get rid of guilt if your last sentence denotes guilt, you don't have to be anything for anybody, other than how you want to be.

A light body awakening is the expansion of light in the inner cell sturture (on biological terms) but also spritually connected for it can only work with the expansion of knowledge on one's side. You probably have a large specturm of emotioanl knwoedlge and you're processing it, putting thing in where theyneed to be, also for your won health. Know that you're clearing your body, and universal energy, by analysing and also in some way arranging it. Also a light body is very sensitive and may be crystallized, I know thign s must be crystal clear one moment and you have to rest a lot another moment.

The structure that you described is actually one of the right and healthy forms of human body as an enrgy transmitter and transformer. The knowledge that comes from the earth and air moves in two ways, you are taking knowledge from air, putting it in the air, clearing and addin, and sendiing it back to air, to be felt by somebody in the same frequencies as your are and also effetic other frequencies. But also know that you are clearing that energy, maybe putting it into a higher into a frequency. At these times enegies are heightening and through your sensitivity you're helping that, and also arrangement of the some new frequecies. You're transmittign new knowledge. I think also have had a kundalini awakening do you feel sensations and vibration at the base of your spine?

Keep working with the sun, because you are actually takign energy from suna nd sending it back, mostly, if you have worked with your third eye chakra have a sense of the sun in your third eye, so you can still feeel and work with it, when inside.

About your foot injury, maybe you're putting too much meaning on it, for when your light body and kundalini awakens you get hypersensitive of everysignle thing going on also with your body. There may be come meridians which are not working properly, so you may want to clear your energy body at those areas for a smoother flow. These are too healing channels on youtube, which are very helpful:

http://www.youtube.com/user/RestRelaxationReiki?feature=watch
http://www.youtube.com/user/ataanaloa?feature=results_main

Know that you don't need to feel it as pressure, I know it creates pressure, but try to expand and work with sun and also with archetypes for better classifying and arragement of energy. You are probably getting a lot of information at these times, and earth needs such energy transmitting.

Also know that you are taken care of by the universe, feel supported and more trusting. I'm sure you'd benefit al lot from working with crytals. Have rose quartz, black tourmaline, blue kyanite, aquamarine, black obsidian, tiger's eye and rodochrosite with you. Crystal quartz would I'm sure make you feel very good, you'll feel a close relation to it. Also do a research on techniques called: grounding, centering and shielding. The'll be very helpful.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

zenith said:

Much of the concepts you mentioned above are foreign to me

Click to expand...

Take your time. There is much to learn but don't burn yourself out! I think you'll want to start learning some of the material here but do so slowly. I found out soo much about myself thru studying astrology. It's very eye-opening. If given a chance, I think you'll find acceptance, understanding, self-appreciation.

zenith said:

Thank you, actually thank you all here, it is different for me to feel... Unconditionally cared for...and not feel like a monster...because I hurt people by not able to be what they need me to be.

Click to expand...

grkemmer said:

First thing first, you got to get rid of guilt if your last sentence denotes guilt, you don't have to be anything for anybody, other than how you want to be.

Click to expand...

I think what grkemmer says is very correct. I used to be similar, sacrificing myself for others only to end up exhausted and hurt. Now I do things for myself. What I need to do. As a result people actually appreciate me more since they have increased respect for me as I'm being authentic to my Self.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

zenith said:

I had a foot injure that prevented me from my morning walks for weeks now

Click to expand...

This is so interesting. I've had a shoulder injury now for several weeks that has restricted my yoga practice considerably. This has also coincided with our Transiting Saturn in opposition to Natal Mars aspect. Which definitely made our whole pattern activate. Our efforts are being blocked!
http://www.thefutureminders.com/Saturn-transits/saturn-opposition-mars.cfm

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

zenith said:

It's tough when energies are low... and the hyper drives won't slow down, because normally it takes more energy to calm it, yet when the need to clam are pretty bad, it's when energies are low... May be that's why I'm here, to learn to control it.

Click to expand...

Well I certainly, without a doubt, believe you found this forum for a reason. Much like I did. I had no interest in astrology whatsoever in the past. However, through this forum and really focusing on my soul purpose, I feel I have elevated exponentially and that this is only the beginning. For people with yods, they say that the second half of life is often drastically different than the first half.
http://www.astrotheme.com/files/figures-composed-aspects.php
has an interesting definition of the Yod. Notice the part about injecting energy. You really have to explore/meditate on the meanings of the apex planets... You'll soon gain flashes of insight into their meanings and how they function in your life.

Your energy being low may mean that you are working against yourself... maybe not flowing with the natural energies.

Re: I have a aspect pattern I can't find on the internet, need help to understand.

Regarding the guilt, yes, it's always there, if I were to describe what it feels like, it feels like I have gained so much of my personal freedom (finding self-honesty, letting go illusions, seeking truth) through relating with others, yet the people who were involved with me can't find that freedom yet, it can't be given, and I do, in the deepest core, care about people, especially those crossed my path in a profound way. and through the universal understanding of personal freedom, I know the way for them to get over any shadow (an experience that enslave them physiologically or emotionally) is to actually get over it, sometimes, the shadow is me. so I can't do anything to "delay" that process...and feeling the energy of suffering of others in my self-imposed distant/silence is...difficult. I often call this "the prudence of being a monster", but, it is just hard to be a monster...

Enlightenment and lasting peace is a long process.

It's interesting how gemstones/crystals have healing properties, earlier this year I had an little obsession with collecting gemstone silver jeweleries, in my mind I had the image of "collecting rainbows", the focal point being natural Opal, it's my birth stone, but aside from it being my birthstone, the "rainbow" essence of the opal really drew me like carrot drew the rabbit, lol. This little obsession stopped once I had "sets" of crystals(a lot of them have been mentioned above). This is very interesting how collecting from the "raw" energy of the universe, one can arrive at its flow without knowing why.

I will be learning these calming and shielding techniques, I feel Mars( as the black sheep in my energy make up, it makes things happen for me(otherwise I'd be content as the air in the sky,lol), but it also...how do I describe it, it feels like Mars won't go in the addictions of life as it knows the healthy energy from the understanding of the universe, but it spends its intense energy in going deep in to the subconscious... like I can fall into a trance where I completely block out the physical (time, hunger, thirst, sleep), and if I don't stay away from activities of such nature (like writing a book of depth/length), I "know" I would whither, deteriorate, melt-down physically. Mars has found a home in my subconscious mind and won't let go the engine, resulting in I can feel my brain running( I normally have no problem falling asleep, but once that subconscious was rested just enough to function, it wakes up, so I can't sleep more than 6-7 hours a night, yet I know I need much more than that as the envelope need longer rest when containing a house inside), I start to have very little dreams now, I notice the difference between experience the "rich" dream world at a younger age, and to now the deadened physical rest as if the subconscious is wakening to the conscious, much more is happening in the awareness... the power of clarity and consciousness is hard to describe, it's like I can figure out an minor physical condition(disease) happened to me by connecting dots, even no one has an medical answer to that condition as I know of through my search, and know my answer isn't far from the truth, yet I also know such knowledge is taboo for it's lack of tangible foundation(training). Therefore I will never utter it in the open (self-protection).

Pandora's Box.

To me, harvesting universal energy is like... harvesting... common sense. yes, common sense of astrology, like macro astrology (I'm making up these terms as they make sense to me) like instead of going in the details of pieces, it makes more sense to me as I elevate and take into the grander picture.... I don't know how to describe it, words hasn't come to me yet. but I will try to describe a bit about the Pandora's box pattern, I did a bit more reading from the links, and I already feel a certain vibe of understanding, I will describe it later as words come to me. Yes, Stillone, we can ask the mod to include Pandora's Box in the title, so more people trying to look for answers can find it. I don't know how do you do that, usually the author can edit the post, but it seems I can't edit the title.

All these readings are very helpful, mars is very happy. lol.

Thank you all, sincerely.

Pandora's box

I've been feeling a much better energy state now, so language flows in me. I would like to describe what I felt from the energy of two Pandora's box in my energy make up,and what I read from other people who were born with similar pattern. Astrology is also about curiosity of the unknown, so I'd contribute here as a case study for the curious astrologers around! lol.

Hmm... before we begin to describe a ray of light, lets trace it and arrive at its source. The source of the beginning, is the Cosmo. The laws of Cosmo already IS when it's born into existence, meaning everything we discover today, in the past, in the future, already IS. like astrology, physics, the existence of us, every thing that will be, already IS. we do not CREATE truth, truth is amongst us, we do not CREATE reality, we discover and understand it. So the source of EVERYTHING, is a vast unknown to us humans, particles do not understand the object, because it's part of it, blood cells do not understand human, because it's part of its function. we do not understand the Cosmo, because we can never raise high enough to look at its whole picture, the alien in man in black 3 do not know the future because he is limited to his vision... The order of Cosmo, to human beings, is CHAOs, so we know, there is something infinitely greater than us, that even when we discover the ultimate truth, we do not create it... to surrender to this understanding, is true humbleness...

The history of mankind, our civilization, is an attempt to create order in chaos, to create understanding in unknown. establish control to survive...It is normal, needed, and useful... like building a shelter in a storm... everyone, since we were babies, were taught the world of man, our little shelter that made sense and created security, it's normal, and needed... yet when we have "receptors" in us, that can receive cosmic energy, some stronger than others, we question the words and world and wisdom of man. Pandora's box, to me feels like one of the receptive energies, that since a very young age, I question (and others I have read about) what was taught to me, and voiced that question to grow ups, others, it's hard for me to conform to what "expect" of me, how I try to express, how my intent was mistaken and punished. I've encountered others with similar childhood, who react to it different from me and people I read who also has pandora's box in their energy make up. The difference was those who has pandora's box tend to "hide" themselves, rather than confront the world. This is different from wearing masks...how do I describe it, it's like I accept the world of man, not seeing it as a giant lie and falsehood of being, therefore integrity means to destroy it... no, I see it as a bad builder built a shady hut to shelter people from storms, but it could be built better, with stronger material and better design... yet I know I am not a builder, yet, so I find peace with the reality of man... so I function on the outside, which is the peace with what we "have", and I live inside, which is receiving what we "could be". It was never a true "conflict", but as I grow older, the inside become stronger, louder, and bigger, eventually it need to be lived, on the outside too.

So to me, the energy of pandora's box has two stages, one is the closed stage, where life is on the surface... and the second stage... is where all the chaos are let out the lid. That's when we start to live in unity of who we are, from the inside out. when we seeing things from the glimpse of the Cosmo, rather than society. (and a lot of that energy is about communications, transfer of knowledge...)

Because we live in a world build and explained by man, how are we going to live on the outside seeing the energy of Cosmo, and not create chaos in the orderly existence of other human beings? because to be who we are, how we see things, how we act, is to tell those who crossed our path: that's not how things as you know it... to be a better builder, you have to first take down the hut to put up a pavilion...so the world of man gets recreated as civilizations evolves... while Cosmo exists, truth exists, eternally.

I hope it makes certain sense.

Thanks for coming back and giving such an interesting piece to contemplate.

zenith said:

So to me, the energy of pandora's box has two stages, one is the closed stage, where life is on the surface... and the second stage... is where all the chaos are let out the lid. That's when we start to live in unity of who we are, from the inside out. when we seeing things from the glimpse of the Cosmo, rather than society. (and a lot of that energy is about communications, transfer of knowledge...)

Click to expand...

I was curious about this.

My awakening happened about six years ago, there was a period right before that I was very thirsty for knowledge, so I read around a lot, one of the reading was so psychologically eye opening, which I was very guilty of at been part of the mob... I eventually contacted the writer of the article and joined his fight for certain social injustice, it lasted a little less than four years, during which time I was learning most about the reality of the mob mentality of the masses, then my value system got crashed, this is where I begin my personal evolution on a deep psychic level... I guess as someone who has a lid full of sensors inside, at one point of time it almost become impossible to not to take "actions" against something we know is so "wrong", and that little step will take you to a path far from the unconscious existence of "before". To look at the time frame, it happened when Saturn entered my raising sign? it intensified tenfold during my Saturn transit Libra years, I literally changed into a different person on so many levels...it literally felt like caught in a never ending emotional storm of different kinds... and like they say, what didn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I don't know what lay ahead, I feel I'm still very much trying to figure out how to let things out, communicate all these energy inside... I feel this is no light task, as pouring things on people's head without their own freewill feels... wrong. I feel a sense of responsibility to my own actions, so most time I end up taking no action, lol. Yes, this just started for us, the rest is unknown, as it should be.

zenith said:

My awakening happened about six years ago, there was a period right before that I was very thirsty for knowledge, so I read around a lot, one of the reading was so psychologically eye opening, which I was very guilty of at been part of the mob... I eventually contacted the writer of the article and joined his fight for certain social injustice, it lasted a little less than four years, during which time I was learning most about the reality of the mob mentality of the masses, then my value system got crashed, this is where I begin my personal evolution on a deep psychic level... I guess as someone who has a lid full of sensors inside, at one point of time it almost become impossible to not to take "actions" against something we know is so "wrong", and that little step will take you to a path far from the unconscious existence of "before". To look at the time frame, it happened when Saturn entered my raising sign? it intensified tenfold during my Saturn transit Libra years, I literally changed into a different person on so many levels...it literally felt like caught in a never ending emotional storm of different kinds... and like they say, what didn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I don't know what lay ahead, I feel I'm still very much trying to figure out how to let things out, communicate all these energy inside... I feel this is no light task, as pouring things on people's head without their own freewill feels... wrong. I feel a sense of responsibility to my own actions, so most time I end up taking no action, lol. Yes, this just started for us, the rest is unknown, as it should be.

Click to expand...

It's remarkable since my main awakening began around the same time. I had the most profound lessons of my life during this time.

I felt like a failure for a long time. I also had considerable anxiety as a result of working for this man. I was simultaneosly also involved in an unhealthy relationship at the time that ended after I decided not to pursue the potential opportunity

It took a long time to recover. I had to rebuild myself. I began reading like crazy.

So it's interesting that for both of us, our value system was subsequently affected (this may have coincided later with Saturn entering our 2nd house). There had to be something more.

Anyhow, I took a look back at the transits at the time and I think I found what may have been the cause:

Transiting Saturn in Opposition to Natal Jupiter. This would have activated our whole chart and "boomeranged" your Jupiter Yod. What's interesting is that the transit started in the beginning of August in 2005 (tSaturn 2deg Leo). Saturn then goes retrograde in Nov of 05. Goes direct again at 4deg Leo Apr. 6 2006. That's within an orb of your Jupiter (2 deg from mine). So almost a similar experience that happened recently when Saturn went retrgrade over our Sun Ur conjunction.

Here's a generic description of tSaturn in Opposition to nJupiter:

Circumstances may block or challenge your chosen path or direction. You may have to restructure the basics of your life to meet current demands. Center yourself between the scales of opportunity and discipline, vision and reality. Personal relationships as well may undergo a period of testing. Through this process, you'll come up with a better idea of who you are and where you're going

Click to expand...

.
http://www.thefutureminders.com/Saturn-transits/saturn-opposition-jupiter.cfm

Sorry, shorthanded at work. I'll come back with more...

Also, July 9 2005 transiting North Node and transiting Mars conjunct natal Chiron.... in case there was anything interesting at that time.