Any insight on what my relationship with my son will be like?

newlyfe

Member
I have a 6 month old son. I love him alot. I don't have a great relationship with his mom. For me, she's not very easy to deal with, disregards anything I have to say, and responds to everything with an attitude. I'm already on this road with her and there's no way out.

Aside from all that, I love the little boy we brought into this world, I think about him often. As I am trying to figure out how to organize my life (go through a divorce soon, get back on my feet financially, and have my own place to live where my son can visit me and have his own room when he stays over) I often think about how all of this will impact my relationship with my son. It pains me to think about it. I have a beautiful little boy who's growing fast and looks alot like me.

I am venting, I just hope to achieve a place of peace and happiness where I can instill that and great values on to my son.


My chart - https://imgur.com/a/Qrn8rhj

son chart - https://imgur.com/a/VZ5rvt9

Any insight/interpretations on both of these charts above and how they connect? What will be some difficulties I could face and any advice on how to deal with it.

I will provide my son's mom's chart if this can help you understand my story better and provide better insight.

my son's mom's chart - https://imgur.com/a/nsiN9p3


All of the information in the charts are correct.
 

katydid

Well-known member
I have a 6 month old son. I love him alot. I don't have a great relationship with his mom. For me, she's not very easy to deal with, disregards anything I have to say, and responds to everything with an attitude. I'm already on this road with her and there's no way out.

Aside from all that, I love the little boy we brought into this world, I think about him often. As I am trying to figure out how to organize my life (go through a divorce soon, get back on my feet financially, and have my own place to live where my son can visit me and have his own room when he stays over) I often think about how all of this will impact my relationship with my son. It pains me to think about it. I have a beautiful little boy who's growing fast and looks alot like me.

I am venting, I just hope to achieve a place of peace and happiness where I can instill that and great values on to my son.


My chart - https://imgur.com/a/Qrn8rhj

son chart - https://imgur.com/a/VZ5rvt9

Any insight/interpretations on both of these charts above and how they connect? What will be some difficulties I could face and any advice on how to deal with it.

I will provide my son's mom's chart if this can help you understand my story better and provide better insight.

my son's mom's chart - https://imgur.com/a/nsiN9p3


All of the information in the charts are correct.

"I just hope to achieve a place of peace and happiness where I can instill that and great values on to my son. "

THIS^^^ is a perfect mantra for you to have now. Please keep this at the forefront of your mind and actions.

If we put you and your ex wife's chart together, your T-square to the Moon in Aries , and her T-square to Mercury in Libra form a cardinal GRAND CROSS. :unsure:

That is problematic. She wants to tell everyone how things need to be done and you desire to do things your own way.

Your son's Moon/Saturn opposition is right down the middle of that Grand Cross, BEING PULLED IN BOTH DIRECTONS.

IT IS IMPERATIVE, urgent, totally seriously vital that you two stop fighting and arguing about this child, especially in front of him. He feels it and knows it and it could affect him in a negative way as he grows up. :bandit:

Do whatever you both can do to mend the fences and come to some kind of a positive co-parenting agreement. :love:

Your son needs that from both of you!:ninja:

Your boy has Saturn in Capricorn opposed Moon in Cancer. That is an aspect that often indicates the child feels the opposition between his mother and father as he grows up. He literally feels the anger and tension between you two.

LUCKILY, he has a nice Grand Trine flowing from his Moon. He has the ability to assimilate and coordinate these feelings into a stable, creative emotional life.

That depends upon you and your ex wife, working together to help him stabilise that opposition.

Your Grand Cross sits on top of his opposition, making him very sensitive to your arguments and tension. It could create mental and emotional conflicts within him as he grows, so you need to find a way to communicate this to your ex as well.

It's fine for her to feel anger or resentment, but it is not OK for her to say bad things about her relationship with you, in front of your child. :pinched:

The three of you have a classic Cardinal Grand Cross between your 3 natal charts. It is a karmic connection for sure, and that is a good thing. But you both are going to have to be the bigger person, to rise above resentments, and work together to give your precious boy a happy healthy environment to grow up in.
 
Last edited:

newlyfe

Member
"I just hope to achieve a place of peace and happiness where I can instill that and great values on to my son. "

THIS^^^ is a perfect mantra for you to have now. Please keep this at the forefront of your mind and actions.

If we put you and your ex wife's chart together, your T-square to the Moon in Aries , and her T-square to Mercury in Libra form a cardinal GRAND CROSS. :unsure:

That is problematic. She wants to tell everyone how things need to be done and you desire to do things your own way.

Your son's Moon/Saturn opposition is right down the middle of that Grand Cross, BEING PULLED IN BOTH DIRECTONS.

IT IS IMPERATIVE, urgent, totally seriously vital that you two stop fighting and arguing about this child, especially in front of him. He feels it and knows it and it could affect him in a negative way as he grows up. :bandit:

Do whatever you both can do to mend the fences and come to some kind of a positive co-parenting agreement. :love:

Your son needs that from both of you!:ninja:

Your boy has Saturn in Capricorn opposed Moon in Cancer. That is an aspect that often indicates the child feels the opposition between his mother and father as he grows up. He literally feels the anger and tension between you two.

LUCKILY, he has a nice Grand Trine flowing from his Moon. He has the ability to assimilate and coordinate these feelings into a stable, creative emotional life.

That depends upon you and your ex wife, working together to help him stabilise that opposition.

Your Grand Cross sits on top of his opposition, making him very sensitive to your arguments and tension. It could create mental and emotional conflicts within him as he grows, so you need to find a way to communicate this to your ex as well.

It's fine for her to feel anger or resentment, but it is not OK for her to say bad things about her relationship with you, in front of your child. :pinched:

The three of you have a classic Cardinal Grand Cross between your 3 natal charts. It is a karmic connection for sure, and that is a good thing. But you both are going to have to be the bigger person, to rise above resentments, and work together to give your precious boy a happy healthy environment to grow up in.

Thank you so much for your take on this. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna bold a few sentences that you expressed.

1. Any advice of how to handle this when it is happening. Sometimes it's too much and I tend to let it get to me and it starts an argument.

2. I looked up karmic connection, I see that you say it's a good thing. But I am unsure of how to interpret what karmic connection means in this scenario. What do you think Karmic connection means for us 3, what does it mean for me and my son. Is it possible that my son and I will have a good relationship?

"Karmic relationships do not respect healthy boundaries in their partners. They serve only their own self-interest and needs. They are the perfect template for forming abusive or co-dependent relationship complexes. While one person is very invested, the other person views it more as a convenience."


I understand that sometimes there isn't a answer for everything. That we both have to try and be the bigger person and try to work together. How do I deal with that when one person is not or doesn't care to be on the same page and there is no effort.

I feel like literally everything I try to do to be the bigger person and move forward towards a healthier relationship is shot down and I end up looking like the "bad guy" to outsiders.

For me it's hard to maintain any kind of healthy relationship with her because she doesn't listen to me, she ignores me, disrespects me and is quick to do it in front of others. She doesn't take anything I say seriously and doesn't care for us to have a good healthy co-parenting relationship for our son. I can start a heart-felt conversation about anything, for example us working together towards creating a successful parenting partnership and she will literally just say "ok" and not even acknowledge it.

For me, dealing with all that creates a painful experience. It creates a-lot of frustration because there's nothing I can do. Sometimes the only thing I feel I can do is be or do something ( :bandit: ).

Nobody deserves to be disrespected, ignored, and unacknowledged especially as a parent. A parent who is supportive and cares about his child. It's very tough on my spirit to have to deal with that and feel like there's nothing I can do, because the only other option is unimaginable and I can't do that.

I made a small decision and it put me on a road with no exits. I would love to discuss how to move forward with a plan for the future, but she is unsupportive in that realm and will just "ok" me to death because she doesn't care and that's tough and I'll be honest and say I don't know how to deal with that yet.

When I read interpretations online of my son it always points to Neptune in the fourth house.

The placement of the planet often shows where we want to feel a deeper emotional connection because maybe something here was lost. Sadly, it may be the father who is physically absent (since this house rules over this parent) through separation, divorce or death, and this position represents some form elusiveness and inaccessibility. There can also be a deep sadness surrounding him, and he may be unobtainable to them physically and/or psychologically. Usually, there is an unconscious over-idealization of this fatherly figure, and on some level, a solid relationship with him has been sacrificed.

This saddens me a lot because everything I am going through points to this and my relationship with his mother doesn't help at all.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Thank you so much for your take on this. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna bold a few sentences that you expressed.

1. Any advice of how to handle this when it is happening. Sometimes it's too much and I tend to let it get to me and it starts an argument.

2. I looked up karmic connection, I see that you say it's a good thing. But I am unsure of how to interpret what karmic connection means in this scenario. What do you think Karmic connection means for us 3, what does it mean for me and my son. Is it possible that my son and I will have a good relationship?

"Karmic relationships do not respect healthy boundaries in their partners. They serve only their own self-interest and needs. They are the perfect template for forming abusive or co-dependent relationship complexes. While one person is very invested, the other person views it more as a convenience."


I understand that sometimes there isn't a answer for everything. That we both have to try and be the bigger person and try to work together. How do I deal with that when one person is not or doesn't care to be on the same page and there is no effort.

I feel like literally everything I try to do to be the bigger person and move forward towards a healthier relationship is shot down and I end up looking like the "bad guy" to outsiders.

For me it's hard to maintain any kind of healthy relationship with her because she doesn't listen to me, she ignores me, disrespects me and is quick to do it in front of others. She doesn't take anything I say seriously and doesn't care for us to have a good healthy co-parenting relationship for our son. I can start a heart-felt conversation about anything, for example us working together towards creating a successful parenting partnership and she will literally just say "ok" and not even acknowledge it.

For me, dealing with all that creates a painful experience. It creates a-lot of frustration because there's nothing I can do. Sometimes the only thing I feel I can do is be or do something ( :bandit: ).

Nobody deserves to be disrespected, ignored, and unacknowledged especially as a parent. A parent who is supportive and cares about his child. It's very tough on my spirit to have to deal with that and feel like there's nothing I can do, because the only other option is unimaginable and I can't do that.

I made a small decision and it put me on a road with no exits. I would love to discuss how to move forward with a plan for the future, but she is unsupportive in that realm and will just "ok" me to death because she doesn't care and that's tough and I'll be honest and say I don't know how to deal with that yet.

When I read interpretations online of my son it always points to Neptune in the fourth house.



This saddens me a lot because everything I am going through points to this and my relationship with his mother doesn't help at all.

1. Any advice of how to handle this when it is happening. Sometimes it's too much and I tend to let it get to me and it starts an argument.

It will be really hard to avoid arguments with this big grand square. Talking will not get you guys anywhere. It is like an endless loop.

You need to take effective, successful action to make things happen for YOU and your son.

Your ex is harbouring a lot of anger and resentment. She is dismissive and just says OK for a couple of reasons, most likely:

1, she doesn't believe you will follow through...

2, she is AFRAID you might follow through and then she will lose tight control of his custody.

So you need to stop talking about it and do what is needed to become your son's father.


2. I looked up karmic connection, I see that you say it's a good thing. But I am unsure of how to interpret what karmic connection means in this scenario. What do you think Karmic connection means for us 3, what does it mean for me and my son. Is it possible that my son and I will have a good relationship?

What I meant by it being a 'good thing' was that it means all 3 of your souls have traveled together in past incarnations and have unfinished business left together.
:innocent:

So you and your ex have lifetimes of baggage and it won't be easily sorted out by a daily argument. But you created a child together and so you are somehow working your karma out together in that intense and complex way.

I think you and your son will have a good relationship. His early life will be shaped more by his mommy because that is what it is. But if you work hard now to get your life in order so that you can have him on weekends and vacations, he will love and appreciate the dedication and love. :love:

I understand that sometimes there isn't a answer for everything. That we both have to try and be the bigger person and try to work together. How do I deal with that when one person is not or doesn't care to be on the same page and there is no effort.

I feel like literally everything I try to do to be the bigger person and move forward towards a healthier relationship is shot down and I end up looking like the "bad guy" to outsiders.

There is nothing you can do for now, to create a healthier relationship with your ex. She is invested in proving to others that you are a lost cause, hopeless, and she is not interested in you proving her wrong.

Do not worry that you look like the 'bad guy' to outsiders. That fear will just paralyse you and get in the way.

You are NOT the bad guy, although you probably did some messed up stuff in terms of the relationship...:alien:

But much of that comes with the backdrop of your karmic relationship. She knows how to push your buttons and probably likes to do so. :annoyed:

You will waste a lot of energy just spinning your wheels if you focus on here and her **** talking. You know within yourself how much you love and care about your boy.

Depend upon that inner knowledge and strength to light the way. :love:
 

katydid

Well-known member
I made a small decision and it put me on a road with no exits. I would love to discuss how to move forward with a plan for the future, but she is unsupportive in that realm and will just "ok" me to death because she doesn't care and that's tough and I'll be honest and say I don't know how to deal with that yet.

When I read interpretations online of my son it always points to Neptune in the fourth house.

There are a lot of ways to look at that Neptune in the 4th. It is not always interpreted as the 'worst' of Neptunian traits.

Sure, in very badly aspected 4th house Neptunes it can be absentee fathers, drug addicted Dads, or neglectful/dysfunctional families.

HOWEVER, your son has some very nice aspects to that Neptune. It is not a debilitated or malevolent Neptune.

His Neptune is exalted in Pisces and makes very healthy trines and sextiles to the Moon and Mars/Ascendant and Saturn.

So your Son will gain from that exalted Neptune placement. He will gain spiritually, creatively, emotionally and will be a sensitive and compassionate soul.

YOU, as his devoted and loving Father will help teach him those skills.


This saddens me a lot because everything I am going through points to this and my relationship with his mother doesn't help at all

Give up, FOR NOW, on your relationship with his mother. Think in a focused way, on your future relationship with him.

Do everything you do, from this moment on, with the COURT SYSTEM in mind. Get a good custody attorney and follow the steps to get your legal rights as his father.

DO NOT LET HER SCARE YOU. Don't listen to threats or accusations.

Get a steady job, take care of anything that would look bad to a family court judge---take responsibility for any debts or outstanding legal issues and clear them.

COURTS WANT FATHERS TO HAVE TIME WITH THEIR CHILDREN.

Saturn is the courts. Pay homage to Saturn in order to have future visitation and shared custody. That means get everything legally cleared up.

BUILD some stability and do not send her any negative communications or anything she can use against you. :sideways:

Don't let her exhaust you. You can be fuelled by your love for your son. Contact a community resource of some kind, specialising in father's rights.

You can prove her wrong without arguing with her or even engaging with her in a negative way. Don't try to show outsiders you are NOT what she accuses you of being.

Just slowly set yourself up to succeed as a father. SHE WILL BE FORCED TO COPARENT with you once the courts are on your side too.
 
Top