cant wake up and move on with life- stuck again- any ideas please!?

myapie

Well-known member
hello everyone,
havent been here for a while....
i am coming back with a question which is very important to me.
it feels like im stuck in life. i guess my Saturn Return hasnt finished yet.
I feel restricted still but not as much as i was in the last 2 years... I cant finish projects, things, i feel like im wasting my time. I cant make any decisions, they fade away- i am not a decisive person- in my life and at work. Im always the second or the third and i always need to 'ask for permission'.

I feel i cant move on fast, many people say its better now to stay 'inside' when it comes to emotions, that its better not to show off, be external.

What do you think about my chart for now? I ve been single for the last 3 years. I started to think im kinda mentally handicapped for not being able even to attract a guy.

Many things happened this year as well but its i stil feel stuck. I do not live only for my own, only for myself. I cut many people off which is cool- because many of my good friends from the past have been vampires, but it feels like my family also drains me a bit. Instead of me the attention is usually put elsewhere. I still need to fight for attention in my family as i would be a child.
Maybe its the problem with my character or personality and the result is the same as if i cant find any man ? No attention, no interest?

Could you review my chart for the next 6 onths please and see if sth changes? It feels like whenever i made a decision in the last 2-3 years it was a bad decision. People accuse me of cutting them off- but me, i just dont wanna be their mental and emotional sponge again.
im happy that i have a job, a family, a flat. Its for now during pandemics very important. I wrk from home. I feel so alone.
 

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Cary2

Banned
To the extent your complaint is astrological, it is a combination of natal indicators and progressive ones (transits and solar arc directions). In your natal chart is a stellium of Uranus, Neptune, Moon, Saturn. Especially with regard to Neptune, Moon, Saturn, you are depressive. It is a serious affliction in your case, and it is reflected in your description. I acknowledge that depression was an epidemic even before the novel virus pandemic came, and it is extremely acute now for many people, but I am referring to your particular susceptibility. You are prone to chronic clinical depression. The inclusion of Uranus in the stellium suggests that you are experiencing the pandemic blues as well.

Yes, the Saturn return was a blow, but it is followed quite closely by Pluto transit to natal Saturn. In fact, t.Pluto is still conjunct your Moon. When Pluto transits Moon, your feelings and reactions are amplified. When you are happy, you are very happy, but when you are upset, you are very upset. This transit is usually accompanied by a visit to a therapist because it is a good time to get therapy. Whatever you are feeling now, you feel it with a fury. You may be rather fanatical, but you will experience a transformation. The good news is that t.Jupiter is also conjuncting Moon, so you may experience financial and social successes that are welcome and pleasant.

As t.Pluto approaches n.Saturn, you will experience fears and phobias. You may become rather puritanical in your approach, or you may experience puritanical people who are brutal and savage. Cruelty may arise as a timely topic in your life. You may have contact with the police.

Transiting Saturn will contact Descendant early next year, and that will also be rather stressful and traumatic, but you might meet an older person who is relationship material.

Several weeks ago you were impatient, irritable, and accident prone.

Solar arc direct Jupiter is poised to cross your natal Ascendant right now, and that will be a pleasant experience. You will become more pleasant in your outlook, and your effect on others will much improve for more than a year.

Solar arc Neptune is conjunct your natal Venus. Your romantic concepts are especially unrealistic now. You would rather be unhappily in love than not in love at all. If you find a relationship soon, you may need to care for that person who may seem disadvantaged, perhaps temporarily. You are not in a place where you can assess a partner realistically. You have an idealistic view of the lover that may invite disappointment, but you may experience a romance that is surprisingly ideal and beautiful.
 
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myapie

Well-known member
To the extent your complaint is astrological, it is a combination of natal indicators and progressive ones (transits and solar arc directions). In your natal chart is a stellium of Uranus, Neptune, Moon, Saturn. Especially with regard to Neptune, Moon, Saturn, you are depressive. It is a serious affliction in your case, and it is reflected in your description. I acknowledge that depression was an epidemic even before the novel virus pandemic came, and it is extremely acute now for many people, but I am referring to your particular susceptibility. You are prone to chronic clinical depression. The inclusion of Uranus in the stellium suggests that you are experiencing the pandemic blues as well.

Yes, the Saturn return was a blow, but it is followed quite closely by Pluto transit to natal Saturn. In fact, t.Pluto is still conjunct your Moon. When Pluto transits Moon, your feelings and reactions are amplified. When you are happy, you are very happy, but when you are upset, you are very upset. This transit is usually accompanied by a visit to a therapist because it is a good time to get therapy. Whatever you are feeling now, you feel it with a fury. You may be rather fanatical, but you will experience a transformation. The good news is that t.Jupiter is also conjuncting Moon, so you may experience financial and social successes that are welcome and pleasant.

As t.Pluto approaches n.Saturn, you will experience fears and phobias. You may become rather puritanical in your approach, or you may experience puritanical people who are brutal and savage. Cruelty may arise as a timely topic in your life. You may have contact with the police.

Transiting Saturn will contact Descendant early next year, and that will also be rather stressful and traumatic, but you might meet an older person who is relationship material.

Several weeks ago you were impatient, irritable, and accident prone.

Solar arc direct Jupiter is poised to cross your natal Ascendant right now, and that will be a pleasant experience. You will become more pleasant in your outlook, and your effect on others will much improve for more than a year.

Solar arc Neptune is conjunct your natal Venus. Your romantic concepts are especially unrealistic now. You would rather be unhappily in love than not in love at all. If you find a relationship soon, you may need to care for that person who may seem disadvantaged, perhaps temporarily. You are not in a place where you can assess a partner realistically. You have an idealistic view of the lover that may invite disappointment, but you may experience a romance that is surprisingly ideal and beautiful.

hello, thank you so much for engaging in my topic and also answering my question. I must say that i realise i have hard aspects in my stellium especially with Saturn , Pluto and Neptune. I have been told that Neptune in my case gives me some weird and dreamy vibe with some unrealistic views on life and on people- as if i was living in a dream or had some weird bar that is put high. I ve become also more melancholic than ever before, i cry a lot with no reason- i am 30 i guess there is no future for me.

The main concern now is my private life. I really do not know why i am and have not been surrounded by men . Some friends in the past told me i was too serious and strict but i have never liked to be a stupid finny girl and i didnt want to also play one. Of course i can flirt and etc but i have noone around.
It may seem i complain and do nothing. In the past i was always engaging myself in new and i was burning myself so quick with new people new situations. And i was never given back the same amount of energy and etc. I dont know why was it like this. I feel like my life is only a high mountain i struggle to climb. Like a goat who always falls down but never gives up . But its very draining and stressful. Some people seem to have more harmonic life, like they would go somehow with the flow or if they make decisions they make good decisions. They never have this ups and downs , sinusoidal life like me.

and could you explain more this part :
"As t.Pluto approaches n.Saturn, you will experience fears and phobias. You may become rather puritanical in your approach, or you may experience puritanical people who are brutal and savage. Cruelty may arise as a timely topic in your life. You may have contact with the police."

I am a bit scared of what i have read but maybe you can explain it more? What fears,? What phobias? I hope i will never losemy mind living alone and being kind of 'depressed and sad' over my life to become someone crazy...

WHat do you mean also by older person-someone who is 5 years older or over 10 years? I really do not have anyone as only 2 friends for now. I am kinda lonely and have been single for the last 3 years. I only contact with my family, and those 2 friends. But its not like writing or contacting everyday. I am a person who gives plenty of space. Because i need space people think i dont like them- i like them but i dont have the urge to contact them veyr often and them ( especially femal friends) cant understand.
I have never been a person, a woman who was very talkative- in the last 5 years i have been over- talked, almost everytime during some meetings with friends or at parties, usually my friends ;didnt realise' when they were taking my attention. On my birthday for example making drama and etc. But demanding attention when they were in trouble- its toxic.

DO you think the pressure, that those black days for me would dissapear next yeat when my saturn and jupiter enter 7th house? I dont know if i am looking a marriage now. I would like to date and be available more. But i guess men my age ( since high school) have been scared of me, and usually were choosing other stupid girls because they were not 'complicated'. I understood it too late but i dont care.
 

Cary2

Banned
and could you explain more this part :
"As t.Pluto approaches n.Saturn, you will experience fears and phobias. You may become rather puritanical in your approach, or you may experience puritanical people who are brutal and savage. Cruelty may arise as a timely topic in your life. You may have contact with the police."

You know that Saturn Return is in fact a Saturn transit to its natal position. In your case, such a transit will be followed in succession by Saturn transit to Descendant. It is a complicated arrangement, and I am sorry I can't be more exact. Pluto transiting Saturn is stressful, and I tried to describe the likely possibilities. I did not mean that I thought you would lose your sanity, and I do not. There may be a crime incident that you are aware of during that period. Since it is transiting Pluto, it will not be as long-lasting as a Solar Arc conjunction. I only meant, that if you find yourself afraid, remember that it is a temporary thing symbolized by a transit. You may respond to Pluto/Saturn by brutally analyzing yourself.

In the same succession, transiting Saturn will then transit your Descendant. It is generally unpleasant for Saturn to cross any of the chart angles. Your tendency to melancholy and discouragement will rise for a short time. However, there is another interesting property of having a slow-moving planet cross your Descendant. It usually means that you meet someone with whom you have a relationship. The qualities of Saturn suggest the qualities of the person you meet. Meeting the person may dominate over any melancholy because Solar Arc Jupiter is touching your Ascendant even now. You will understand more clearly in the very first few days of the new year.

I should have more properly said that the person was of significant age difference. The person in question may actually be significantly younger than you, but it was my immediate impression that the person was older. As to how many years difference, it would be enough years difference that it would seem significant to you. Probably more than five years difference, but that is a guess.

The occurrence of a relationship is reinforced by a Solar Arc planet conjunct your natal Venus, Neptune in this case. Both occurrences suggest a relationship, which amounts to an exponential emphasis in astrological terms. Solar Arc Jupiter crossing natal Ascendant would suggest that you will be pleased by the change, and such emphasis across the Ascendant/Descendant axis is highly noteworthy in astrological terms.

You may get a glimpse of the possibility in the next few days as transiting Venus trines Descendant and the Seventh House contents, Mars and Venus. To answer your question, transiting Jupiter in the Seventh will contribute to the pleasant experience, but it is minor compared to what I have been talking about.

I think the relationship may be started in the early days of next year following New Year's Eve. It is possible that it might start on New Year's Eve.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Myapie, with your moon bracketed by Neptune and Saturn, haven't you always found it difficult to trust your true feelings? Probably you grew up feeling that you shouldn't expect very much from life; that you didn't deserve very much.

Of course, this is not objectively true, but you seem hard-wired to live with hurt and confused feelings.

This probably contributes to your feeling that you need a man in your life to feel complete. With Venus-Mars and your north node in the 7th house, being in a relationship is very important to you, whether you have one at present or not. I do hope you find Mr. Right!

The trouble is, if you come from a deep sense of low self-esteem, you can place too heavy an emotional burden on a man who shows interest in you. The danger is that you rely on the man, not so much in the relationship for who he is, but for his ability to meet your profound emotional needs. And heaven help him if he doesn't.

For some time, you've had Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter (in its fall) transiting your 6th house. This mixture could lead to clinical depression. (The 6th house rules health. Saturn rules depression.) I hope you will consider meeting with a mental health professional, if you are not seeing one already. You shouldn't have to go through this difficult time without some emotional support.

With your 6th house emphasis, service to other people naturally seems like a good fit for you.

But your 9th house sun in adventuresome Aries needs to get out and take a few risks, challenge yourself, and dare to be yourself--for yourself. Even if you just take small baby-steps towards that independent archetype, I think your emotional health will benefit. This can start with an athletic activity-- even if it means just a brisk walk every morning.

Psychological studies have shown that depression can be lifted in many people by an exercise regimen, especially out-of-doors.

Time to focus on your Aries nature!
 

myapie

Well-known member
Myapie, with your moon bracketed by Neptune and Saturn, haven't you always found it difficult to trust your true feelings? Probably you grew up feeling that you shouldn't expect very much from life; that you didn't deserve very much.

Of course, this is not objectively true, but you seem hard-wired to live with hurt and confused feelings.

This probably contributes to your feeling that you need a man in your life to feel complete. With Venus-Mars and your north node in the 7th house, being in a relationship is very important to you, whether you have one at present or not. I do hope you find Mr. Right!

The trouble is, if you come from a deep sense of low self-esteem, you can place too heavy an emotional burden on a man who shows interest in you. The danger is that you rely on the man, not so much in the relationship for who he is, but for his ability to meet your profound emotional needs. And heaven help him if he doesn't.

For some time, you've had Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter (in its fall) transiting your 6th house. This mixture could lead to clinical depression. (The 6th house rules health. Saturn rules depression.) I hope you will consider meeting with a mental health professional, if you are not seeing one already. You shouldn't have to go through this difficult time without some emotional support.

With your 6th house emphasis, service to other people naturally seems like a good fit for you.

But your 9th house sun in adventuresome Aries needs to get out and take a few risks, challenge yourself, and dare to be yourself--for yourself. Even if you just take small baby-steps towards that independent archetype, I think your emotional health will benefit. This can start with an athletic activity-- even if it means just a brisk walk every morning.

Psychological studies have shown that depression can be lifted in many people by an exercise regimen, especially out-of-doors.

Time to focus on your Aries nature!

hello, thank you so much for answering here in my thread.
when i started studying i put myself in a very weird and toxic environment that was the time i was refusing any help and communication from my parents as i would think of them very badly. i just didnt trust them and i was putting all of my 'life' on the hands of a 'group of people'. but it was a lesson i learnt when i was 25 that usually family wants good for you and other people in 90% do not.

i just put myself in very emotionally toxic environment with people , female friends being very PASSIVE aggresive. it was aonly about power, mony, parents connections and their complexes. futhermore, they were very intelligent studying at my uni but usually because of their weak nature they were taking drugs. and i was only one who didnt. so i was put in this place that i was out of a group and they were usually 'the ruling group'. and i was always the 'independent unit' searching for a company. i was very exhausted after 1st group that i was making the same mistakes three times with choosing the same toxic behaviour from other people- as i would repeat the pattern. when i was 25 and i was on my aster degree sth happened with guy that i thought we would be somehow together and my good friend. jealousy, being 1st in a group as a position and etc and actually it was that time when i started questioning my experience, my environment and friends. actually i was acting like a brat or a teenager because when i was a teenager i was not making drama, i did not have any problems with ANYONE. i was doing my business, my life but when i entered the university i was involved in such toxic environment and many groups that NOW , from the perspective i guess that i was VERY weak, and i was thinking that my emotional state depends on other people or of a relationship not from me. i was playing very confident but inside i was a trash, i was very weak. and i wasattracting very weak and toxic MEN.

normal , confident MEN didnt want to be with me because somehow they FELT something inside me , a lie(?) that i was hiding from them.

i am 30 now . since 2-3 years i have transformed and become other person. as i wrote in my 1st post here in thsi thread i cut off many people, i turned out to my family for emotinal help and they of focurse helped me- unconditionally. what i want to add is that i feel better generally comparing to the last years but i am not 100% confident and assertive as i would like to be.

i realised that people would like to take information from me not giving information about them back to me. its very selfish and i have realised this many times ,for example 3 days ago as well. andNOW i know how to answer back for that messages. its not pure friendship in 100% .

i cant trust people in 100% anymore. and its not that i felt liek this or like that when i was younger. actually i was very FIERY, energetic sport-ish when until i got into university. i was totally a different person. i feel like the teenage rebellion for me was my 20s when i was at university. and now im cleaning after me and mistakes i did.

i was usually feeling bad when i was younger when i didnt have a partner or etc but again until i got into uni i had relationships, my energy and other aries traits. when i turn on the aries traits usually people are scared of me now.

i work in very introverted environment when expressing opinions and emotions is not very well opinioned. also having your own opinion also. its very hard for me as i would like to change my job next year. in the last 2 months there was a thunderstorm in my professional life as i would have been fired twice and i needed to be veyr confident, had two talks with my boss as well i must have defended myself from coworkers lies and gossips. i know that there is very big amount of manipulation as well as gossips abot me there but i really do not talk anymore about myself and my life. its always that i talk and i do and noone responds. even at work so i stopped. when i stopped there is always a big surprise why i stopped.

i feel better but not 100% good as i said. i work only for myself now and i know that i can make myself better with love and appretiation from my family and i know that they want good from me.
 

kshantaram

Premium Member
Aries 10th inimical for leo ascendant, stress-delays in career-recognition;

Ascendant lord sun with mercury over inimical impulsive aries 9th, intellectual-literary-oratory-managerial-medicinal aptitudes and tending to distant lands and gains under stress-delays, prone to heart-stomach-skin inflammations;

10th lord inimical mars with venus and rahu NNode acquarius 7th, marriage-vocation by mere attractions under stress-delays, supportive but dominating spouse, seeking an innovative foreign partner; prone to toxic abdominal-sciatic leg inflammations; rise-fall in life;

prayers to ancestors, observe death anniversaries religiously; wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

Venus 11th lord over 7th gains from marriage-spouse to watch for; Venus lord 4th with rahu over 7th, home away from home, foreign spouse/foreign lands;

Rahu acquarius inclined to western continents-regions-countries-towns; Jup 9th lord for luck cancer 12th inclined to Northern places.


9th lord jupiter and saturn transit own acquarius 7th year ahead, transit 2nd from moon, research-advisory-trainer-project management roles and scope for relationship but under emotional stress;

saturn acquarius debilated aspect over sun-mer aries 10th impacting luck-career-recognition to care;


Rahu NNode coming 1.5yr transit gemini 11th, gains from foreigners to watch for;

Natal ketu SNode leo ascendant, high self-pride and individualist; pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-head to care; prayers to Christ, offer red flowers sun mornings;

transit ketu impulsive philosophical sag 5th, detachment from luck-education-romance-position to care;


Natal moon-saturn own capricorn 6th opp elevated jupiter cancer 12th, success amidst adversity; good at research-economics-event management, but misjudgments and missed opportunities with sat-jup opp; prone to circulatory issues; worrisome tendencies; observe fast sat evenings; wear pearl over silver pendant touching heart;

jupiter elevated cancer 12th advisory aptitudes, ethical-spiritual inclinations; jup aspect own pisces 9th supportive of luck-education;/B]

overall jup-sat transit inimical mars-rahu acquarius 2nd from moon could be challenging for vocation and relationships with foreign prospects to watch for; previous 2.5 yrs saturn transit natal moon-saturn capricorn 6th opp jup was time to take long-term decisions of life.

Sun-saturn lords 1/7 over aries-capricorn square challenges in relationship, with inimical mars over acquarius 7th for marriage-vocation under stress-delays and health issues;

Moon capricorn compatible with moons capricorn, acquarius,


Do share salient feedbacks how true-insightful traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc etc, wishing you well,



JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM
www.shantaram.online
 
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myapie

Well-known member
Aries 10th inimical for leo ascendant, stress-delays in career-recognition;

Ascendant lord sun with mercury over inimical impulsive aries 9th, intellectual-literary-oratory-managerial-medicinal aptitudes and tending to distant lands and gains under stress-delays, prone to heart-stomach-skin inflammations;

10th lord inimical mars with venus and rahu NNode acquarius 7th, marriage-vocation by mere attractions under stress-delays, supportive but dominating spouse, seeking an innovative foreign partner; prone to toxic abdominal-sciatic leg inflammations; rise-fall in life;

prayers to ancestors, observe death anniversaries religiously; wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

Venus 11th lord over 7th gains from marriage-spouse to watch for; Venus lord 4th with rahu over 7th, home away from home, foreign spouse/foreign lands;

Rahu acquarius inclined to western continents-regions-countries-towns; Jup 9th lord for luck cancer 12th inclined to Northern places.


9th lord jupiter and saturn transit own acquarius 7th year ahead, transit 2nd from moon, research-advisory-trainer-project management roles and scope for relationship but under emotional stress;

saturn acquarius debilated aspect over sun-mer aries 10th impacting luck-career-recognition to care;


Rahu NNode coming 1.5yr transit gemini 11th, gains from foreigners to watch for;

Natal ketu SNode leo ascendant, high self-pride and individualist; pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-head to care; prayers to Christ, offer red flowers sun mornings;

transit ketu impulsive philosophical sag 5th, detachment from luck-education-romance-position to care;


Natal moon-saturn own capricorn 6th opp elevated jupiter cancer 12th, success amidst adversity; good at research-economics-event management, but misjudgments and missed opportunities with sat-jup opp; prone to circulatory issues; worrisome tendencies; observe fast sat evenings; wear pearl over silver pendant touching heart;

jupiter elevated cancer 12th advisory aptitudes, ethical-spiritual inclinations; jup aspect own pisces 9th supportive of luck-education;/B]

overall jup-sat transit inimical mars-rahu acquarius 2nd from moon could be challenging for vocation and relationships with foreign prospects to watch for; previous 2.5 yrs saturn transit natal moon-saturn capricorn 6th opp jup was time to take long-term decisions of life.

Sun-saturn lords 1/7 over aries-capricorn square challenges in relationship, with inimical mars over acquarius 7th for marriage-vocation under stress-delays and health issues;

Moon capricorn compatible with moons capricorn, acquarius,


Do share salient feedbacks how true-insightful traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc etc, wishing you well,



JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM
www.shantaram.online


thank you, for now the most important is my relationship life and work life. in the past i had usually men who were virgo sign. i dont know why. but i was kind of too disorganised and usually they were dumping me. what i want to say additionally is that one virgo had capricorn moon and it was short affair 5 years ago which resulted in a break up but then also weid ups and down and weird attraction.
i know he is very very strong but he is dark , i see his shadow side. what do you think about that past experience? i wonder because it was one of the most influenctial short relations in my life- i t was only about power and some dark sides. but it was in thepast- i still sometimes think of it. that is why i would like to ask you about it.

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