Chiron in 8th house -scared of physical intimacy?

Hkk

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Does anyone know what issues this can cause? Has anyone got any experiences they can share with this?

I have Chiron in 8th house and it squares my moon and north node. I’m scared about getting too physically intimate with anyone. I wonder if it’s Chiron. I don’t know how to overcome this.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
How does one overcome this or is Chiron something that will just cause me I healed pain forever?

Chiron is the wound that you're always in the process of healing. You can get more healed, and will throughout your life if you're tuned into Chiron and working with it well, but there's so much healing to do that it's a lifelong process. A human lifespan, even a long one, doesn't contain enough time to become perfect--or perfectly healed and whole, either. The best you can do is come close.

That doesn't necessarily mean you'll never be comfortable with physical intimacy. Just that it's a process for you. There are many degrees of comfortable. If you're in the process of becoming comfortable with it, you could be more comfortable than you are now a year from now, and more comfortable still five years from now. But still with room for improvement.

It's also possible that your fear of physical intimacy is a stand in for something else. Have you looked at what might be driving this fear?

It doesn't sound like physical intimacy is something you just plain aren't interested in. Some people really are not, but if you were one of those people, it wouldn't bother you. That not being comfortable with physical intimacy does bother you is a sign that part of you does want it.

And the meaning of "physical intimacy" is very broad. Are you comfortable with hugs, at least with close people? Or not even that? Assuming you're talking about sex, is it a specific kind of sex that scares you? (I'm not asking you to describe that specific kind of sex, if there is one--just want to point out that sex can mean lots of different things, not just the "put tab A in slot B" definition, and for some people, the usual definition of sex just isn't their cup of tea. That says nothing about their actual level of desire for sex, and nothing about which gender(s) they're attracted to.)

The first step is to start at whatever level of physical intimacy you are comfortable with. And if there's something you're not comfortable with currently, keep it off the table. If you're working with your fear, what you're comfortable with might change over time. But don't force yourself into accepting anything you don't want at the moment.
 

FireLa

Member
I have Chiron in my 8th house, I have the same issue about intimacy. It happen right after I had my baby. I think you have point there, because I could not think why am I like that now.
 

Hkk

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I have Chiron in my 8th house, I have the same issue about intimacy. It happen right after I had my baby. I think you have point there, because I could not think why am I like that now.

In your head what do you tell yourself? E.g. in my head I don’t like my body so I tell myself I can’t get too close to someone or naked etc so what is your reason? Interesting to know
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Chiron is the wound that you're always in the process of healing. You can get more healed, and will throughout your life if you're tuned into Chiron and working with it well, but there's so much healing to do that it's a lifelong process. A human lifespan, even a long one, doesn't contain enough time to become perfect--or perfectly healed and whole, either. The best you can do is come close.

That doesn't necessarily mean you'll never be comfortable with physical intimacy. Just that it's a process for you. There are many degrees of comfortable. If you're in the process of becoming comfortable with it, you could be more comfortable than you are now a year from now, and more comfortable still five years from now. But still with room for improvement.

It's also possible that your fear of physical intimacy is a stand in for something else. Have you looked at what might be driving this fear?

It doesn't sound like physical intimacy is something you just plain aren't interested in. Some people really are not, but if you were one of those people, it wouldn't bother you. That not being comfortable with physical intimacy does bother you is a sign that part of you does want it.

And the meaning of "physical intimacy" is very broad. Are you comfortable with hugs, at least with close people? Or not even that? Assuming you're talking about sex, is it a specific kind of sex that scares you? (I'm not asking you to describe that specific kind of sex, if there is one--just want to point out that sex can mean lots of different things, not just the "put tab A in slot B" definition, and for some people, the usual definition of sex just isn't their cup of tea. That says nothing about their actual level of desire for sex, and nothing about which gender(s) they're attracted to.)

The first step is to start at whatever level of physical intimacy you are comfortable with. And if there's something you're not comfortable with currently, keep it off the table. If you're working with your fear, what you're comfortable with might change over time. But don't force yourself into accepting anything you don't want at the moment.

Physical intimacy like getting naked and they seeing everything. Parts I hate about myself so why would anyone else like it. Hugs and touching is not a problem. I’m an affectionate person but then there’s a limit. The trouble is I don’t feel ‘free’ limiting myself like this. I want to feel free and not burdened by this.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Physical intimacy like getting naked and they seeing everything. Parts I hate about myself so why would anyone else like it. Hugs and touching is not a problem. I’m an affectionate person but then there’s a limit. The trouble is I don’t feel ‘free’ limiting myself like this. I want to feel free and not burdened by this.

That sounds like a body image problem, at its core. It doesn't sound like your deep down problem is fear of intimacy so much as it is hating your own body.

I know I've seen your chart before, but it isn't posted in this thread. Remind me, do you have anything in your second house? Opposed by Chiron, perhaps? Sometimes the Chiron wound is more visible in its opposition, if Chiron has one. The second house is where body image problems are most likely to be found. Taurus has some resonance with the second house, so placements there might also correlate, if you have any, although it depends on what house(s) are involved and what planets they are.

And what's going on with your Venus? Venus is both the relationship planet and the planet of self love. If you lack self love, it comes out in some kind of inability to relate to others. Venus's placement and aspects can shed some light on how those issues manifest for you.
 

Hkk

Account Closed
That sounds like a body image problem, at its core. It doesn't sound like your deep down problem is fear of intimacy so much as it is hating your own body.

I know I've seen your chart before, but it isn't posted in this thread. Remind me, do you have anything in your second house? Opposed by Chiron, perhaps? Sometimes the Chiron wound is more visible in its opposition, if Chiron has one. The second house is where body image problems are most likely to be found. Taurus has some resonance with the second house, so placements there might also correlate, if you have any, although it depends on what house(s) are involved and what planets they are.

And what's going on with your Venus? Venus is both the relationship planet and the planet of self love. If you lack self love, it comes out in some kind of inability to relate to others. Venus's placement and aspects can shed some light on how those issues manifest for you.

Chiron is in 8th houseTaurus. It squares my north node leo in 11th house which is where my moon is located too and Chiron squares the moon too.
Venus is in 3rd sag part of a stellium along with Neptune and mercury. The house is intercepted so Uranus is in Scorpio 3rd house.

Venus trines the moon and north node. Venus sextiles Jupiter and Saturn which is in 1st house libra. My rising is libra too.

Do you think that Chiron in this placement is not only an issue of poor self image/love and also real issues with the naked body or is it in my head?
 
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Hkk

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There is nothing in my chart that opposes or squares Venus. Just double checked. Having Saturn in the first may be the cause as well as Chiron.
 
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Hkk

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Chiron biquintiles Jupiter and Saturn in the first. Looked at my chart to dig deeper and mars in 4th cap sun semi square Venus!
 
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Osamenor

Staff member
As you can see, it's a complex issue, and everything in your chart may play a part in it. Chiron is just a magnifying glass amplifying certain details.

Between your Chiron placement and your second house, there's double testimony to body image issues and sexual issues being the same for you. Taurus is the body, and sense of security, and Taurus is in your eighth house of sexuality. With Chiron in it, suggesting some deep seated issues. Even if Chiron doesn't have any planet in direct opposition to it, the fact remains that the degree exactly opposite your Chiron is in Scorpio and the second house--which also indicates a combination of body/security/self esteem and sexuality.

That doesn't spell out what the issue is, but does tell us that if you have body image issues, your sexuality reflects it, and if there's an issue with your sexuality, it has to do with your self perception of your body.

Do you think that Chiron in this placement is not only an issue of poor self image/love and also real issues with the naked body or is it in my head?
All issues with the naked body are in the native's head.

Even if you have a genuine physical deformity, that doesn't make you unloveable. People with physical deformities are loved by their partners every day. Including physical intimacy.

But most people who think their bodies look horrible are not deformed.
 

Hkk

Account Closed
As you can see, it's a complex issue, and everything in your chart may play a part in it. Chiron is just a magnifying glass amplifying certain details.

Between your Chiron placement and your second house, there's double testimony to body image issues and sexual issues being the same for you. Taurus is the body, and sense of security, and Taurus is in your eighth house of sexuality. With Chiron in it, suggesting some deep seated issues. Even if Chiron doesn't have any planet in direct opposition to it, the fact remains that the degree exactly opposite your Chiron is in Scorpio and the second house--which also indicates a combination of body/security/self esteem and sexuality.

That doesn't spell out what the issue is, but does tell us that if you have body image issues, your sexuality reflects it, and if there's an issue with your sexuality, it has to do with your self perception of your body.


All issues with the naked body are in the native's head.

Even if you have a genuine physical deformity, that doesn't make you unloveable. People with physical deformities are loved by their partners every day. Including physical intimacy.

But most people who think their bodies look horrible are not deformed.

Thank you for this Osamenor. I think your right. Even though I don’t actually have any planets in my 2nd house it’s reflecting to the 8th and vise versa. The image thing you mentioned before about Chiron and where healing is life long but can get better. I have improved with my feelings about my body but there’s still an issue.
I have no deformities. I just feel my naked body is ugly. When I wear clothes and dress up i feel I look good and feel good. It’s just revealing all for me is not comforting at all.
 

Hkk

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It would be good to know what others experiences are with Chiron in the 8th if they are comfortable sharing as it’s taken me TIME to talk about it on here let alone real life
 

FireLa

Member
In your head what do you tell yourself? E.g. in my head I don’t like my body so I tell myself I can’t get too close to someone or naked etc so what is your reason? Interesting to know

I dont like my post baby body and I dislike my stomach. Even though I'm exercising and trying to lose weight, I still am not ready to get intimate and show my naked body
 

Hkk

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I dont like my post baby body and I dislike my stomach. Even though I'm exercising and trying to lose weight, I still am not ready to get intimate and show my naked body

Have you always felt like this or after Having the baby. Only ask as I thought Chiron is from childhood or the past. Maybe I’m wrong
 

454VIP

Member
I feel the same way as you and funny because I have Chiron in Virgo not Taurus as you
And I have it with Venus in there and to make it worse Chiron and Venus are opposite to Saturn in the 2nd
I have so many fears is very difficult

Sending you positive vibes
 
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