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Solar returns Talk about your experience with solar returns in predictive astrology.


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  #1  
Unread 12-21-2017, 09:30 PM
nino nino is offline
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I need help

Hello.

The last couple of years (actually the last 4 years I think) has been the worst in my life. I deeply suffered from depression and anxiety disorders, had some serious health issues, ended my 5 years long relationship (and it was extremely painful), developed some phobias about humans in general, isolated from the world, ended some close friendships, failed my classes and had to take them over and over again (because I couldn't go to school), locked myself in my apartment for a very long time, became overweight and very skinny in a very short time, been single and alone for 3 years (relationship phobias), hated myself inside and out, rejected my identity etc.

When I tried to make a fresh start last year, i heard that my ex boyfriend spreading lies about me to our teachers that i've been doing some disgusting stuff (things like hanging out with married men for money) while i was away from school which was ridiculous because I didn't even talk to a single human being at that time. But they believed him and started to treat me like trash. So I had to lock myself in my apartment again and cut all the contacts, involuntarily this time.

But there were some good things too, of course, I read a lot about human psychology and other things that I found interesting, I learned a new language, studied some interesting subjects, took care of my skin and body, watched lots of movies, and did some other useful stuff (at home).

Now I kind of feel ready to blend in the society. I was a very successful student and I want to continue my education and graduate. And I want to work on my dreams and aspirations which I gave up on earlier. I don't feel very strong but I'm very willing to make a new start. So I decided to take a look at my Solar Return chart for 2018. I don't know much about SR charts, to be honest, but I've made some research on the web.

- My SR Ascendant is in my natal 4th house, I've read that this placement is usually found in the year of death of the chart owner, I don't think that I will die, but maybe it's more like a symbolic thing? Like my old self would die and I'll be born again? This is really what I need to be honest. SR Ascendant being in Scorpio is also interesting, as everyone knows it's a sign that rules death and regeneration, and it also corresponds to the Tarot card "Death" which may be interpreted as "old will be gone and new will replace it". It's also like one of the main functions of Mars (suddenly destroying things to open some place for the new), which is the traditional ruler of Scorpio. Very interesting. It may also be my actual death though, I don't know.

- My SR MC is in my natal 1st house sounds very nice. I've read that this year I may be able to decide which direction should I take in my life. I was feeling lost for such a long time that it almost sounds funny to me.

SR Jupiter is also in my SR 1st house, and I've read that it means it'll be an easy year (If I don't die, of course). But Scorpio ASC might be problematic.

I really need help with interpreting this chart, this year will be very important for me, so any comment would be greatly appreciated. I'm also open to any kind of advice (about life, astrology, etc.) so please feel free to write.
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  #2  
Unread 12-21-2017, 11:00 PM
nino nino is offline
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Re: I need help

Oh, there's also one more thing. I didn't want to open a new thread for that since I've opened one already.

Every way in my natal chart goes to Saturn "the greater malefic". And to my 7th house in Aquarius.
Since I'm trying to reconnect with the human race again, I think I should work on my 7th house, the stellium in that house, and the signs Aquarius and Leo (my ascendant) to gain more insight about this. And also relationships in general.

I only had one relationship in my entire life, and it changed my understanding of relationships tremendously. At least on a subconscious level. I'm perfectly aware that not all human beings are like that person. But I think I'll need time and experience to get over this. I won't go into details but it was an extremely abusive and violent relationship, and if I reported that person to the authorities at that time he would get into serious trouble. And even after we broke up, he never stopped disturbing me and causing me pain, even though he has a serious relationship with someone else.

I think this is a reflection of my 7th house. We were once great friends (Aquarius), he was an intelligent and communicative person (Mercury), brought order into my life (Saturn), and he looked like he liked my identity, liked me for who I was (Sun). But then he turned into my open enemy, insulting my intelligence (Mercury), restricting me and putting me down (Saturn), and making me confused about my identity, making me insecure (Sun). I'm pretty sure that that person has some kind of narcissistic identity disorder or something like that, and needs more help than me.

Anyway, it's really scary seeing my 7th house at work like this, my best friend and partner turning into my nemesis.

I never had another relationship after this, and honestly, don't want or need any right now, but I can't escape from this forever.

When a woman or man (I'm a bisexual female) tries to approach me in a romantic way, I instantly get horrified, it's as almost I can't help it. It's like, in my brain, I kind of equated romance and partnerships with those horrible things that happened in the past. When someone says "I love you" or even "I like you", my subconscious mind interprets it like "I'm going to hurt you in ways that you could never imagine." Because of that, when someone tries to flirt with me I just say "You don't even have to bother with trying. Let's just be friends." I really have to change this.

I don't have those kinds problems with my close friends though. I have few, but dependable ones. I sometimes have problems with some of them about my need for personal space, but my best friend (who has Libra and Aquarius strong in her chart) understands my needs completely.

As for my Venus, it's in shy and serious Capricorn, in my 6th house (not romantic at all, and it's related to Saturn again), but it makes some nice aspects to my Moon in Pisces and Jupiter in Virgo. I can be very loving and giving for people I genuinely like (it also conjuncts Neptune), but it's also not easy for me to love someone, I mean it takes so much time. But I can get along very well with people who are being understanding of this. So it's not a huge problem. It also tightly conjuncts Uranus, so my relationships tend to be somewhat chaotic and unusual. But I'm a fan of unusual anyway, as long as it doesn't hurt.

I'm single for 3 years, and in those 3 years I've never even flirted or got close with anyone, just because of the fear of being hurt, and actually, I've never felt anything for anyone, it's like my heart got frozen. I'm still not ready for a close relationship, I think I still need time and work on myself. If I get into a relationship before I do that I fear that I'll hurt my partner and turn their life into hell. When someone you love feels pain and you are the cause of their pain, it hurts you so much more.

I also wonder if there is an indication of improvement about this in my SR chart. I definitely don't want a relationship, but maybe a change of my feelings, or my understanding of those things.

Transiting Saturn is about to left my 5th house, and I think in a few months it'll conjunct my Venus. I'm kind of scared because I don't know if it'll make me feel more like a robot in regards to those kinds of feelings.
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  #3  
Unread 12-22-2017, 12:53 AM
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Rawiri Rawiri is offline
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Re: I need help

I don't have a lot of time right now, but because you've written so much and sincerely I do want to reply at least.

Reading a solar return chart requires looking at a fair few things, especially when relating it to the natal chart.

I am presuming that you will be turning 26? The age of a person is important for a traditional reading of a solar return.

What we do is we move the ascendant forward one whole sign each year, so when you turn one the "ascendant" is placed (profected) into Virgo. Turning 26 the ascendant will be moved into Libra.

From a glance based on that, it does not look likely it will be a year of coming out of seclusion perse, however studies look perfectly possible.

Reading from Libra...we have the waning Moon passing through Libra at the time of the solar return. Moon is your natal 12th lord. In the solar return chart, Libra is also 12th house. So 12th house (seclusion etc) tendencies are liable to continue for the year.

Moon is solar return 9th Lord (house of higher studies and education), trining Venus who is lord of Libra, bringing that 12th house seclusion (and also possible studies due to 9th Lord) into the life.

Do not worry about the natal ascendant in the 4th house. 4th house tends to be troublesome yes, because it represents the foundations of a person's life and when triggered can be a bit unsettling for people as their foundations "change." But a literal death is not going to occur just from that...or else most people would not make it past young childhood.
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Unread 12-22-2017, 06:06 PM
nino nino is offline
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Re: I need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rawiri View Post
I don't have a lot of time right now, but because you've written so much and sincerely I do want to reply at least.
Thank you so much for your reply : )

Yes, I'll be 26 and I feel like I'm too late for many things in life. And this alone is enough to make me feel nervous. I don't want to rush anything, of course, that would not be wise, but I think I have to do something about it.

Coming out of seclusion would not be easy for me, I think I have to make it gradually, but maybe if I can turn this (12th house) energy into other things, like studying on spiritualism, subconscious mind, dreams or occult sciences etc., or other more positive things that house corresponds to (I don't want to believe that 12th house is all bad), I would be able to make some improvements in my life. Swimming against the current never went well for me (especially when Moon is involved), and I won't force myself to become more outgoing while having these tendencies, so it seems like all I can do is trying to transform the energies and focusing on the more positive side of this, instead of living with fear and depressive feelings. But there is also a huge challenge for that.

9th house and Moon's connection made me very happy, to be honest. I was thinking about learning a new foreign language, studying general linguistics and foreign cultures for the next year. This will probably be helpful to achieving my goals.

And I won't mind at all if my "foundations" would change : ) I think that kind of change is what I really need right now. I was also thinking about changing my residence, moving to a bigger and brighter house since I don't really like the house which I currently live in. Maybe Venus in the 4th house would help me with this.
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  #5  
Unread 12-22-2017, 10:04 PM
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kimbermoon kimbermoon is offline
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Thumbs up Re: I need help

The Nodal Axis in the chart offers much information about your path of destiny in life. For you it crosses your 6th / 12th axis. The North Node in Capricorn is all about integrity and shows that your moral compass is within yourself, if you work to follow your own code of ethics and beliefs. It is about gaining self-mastery, and often this does require much time in seclusion and self-review. By contrast your South Node in Cancer shows the likelihood of spending too much time being immersed in your emotions and allowing yourself to be prone to an unhealthy dependence on others. Now you must learn to come into your own authority and claim more independence. It's 12th house position shows that you have carried over karmic memories relating to experiences connected to having your ego dissolved over and over again, and these memories can be difficult to remove from the psyche, so they continue to affect your sense of self. your challenge in this lifetime is to re-assert your own Identity and sense of self before you can manifest your vision in a concrete way on the earthly level. After all you have suffered this can be a long journey, so you must engage courage and persistence. Note the transits in play at the time of your Solar Return:
Jupiter to Pluto,
Saturn to the NN,
Mercury to Saturn.

Saturn teaches us about the value of moderation and caution, and is usually accompanied by a slow period; often you can feel quite stuck feeling like nothing is changing. Think of this period as a time of planning and getting organized so that when the time is right you can make appropriate decisions to act on.

You do have a lot of energy in the social areas of life, yet it is the overlapping of the energies that serves to cause you problems in your life; when your inner issues have not been addressed and resolved, they spill out into the outer world where tensions and conflicts are apt to occur. As I see it, it is not necessarily the best to really push yourself outward when you are still feeling anxious and vulnerable. Some degree of solitude is good for self-review and assessment. In my own life I often find the need for solitude. You have to get right with yourself before you can gain fulfillment through others. Saturn's influence is about taking baby steps and I think for you, you really need to expand your mind and your spirit to overcome what remains trapped in your psyche.

Finding ways to serve others is a good remedy for depression and pain...perhaps you can start by doing some volunteer work to gain back a sense of inner equilibrium. Know what your true interests are and expand from there. Learn more creative ways for living your life, by remembering that one's life itself is the greatest art.
Blessed be.
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Unread 12-29-2017, 08:43 AM
nino nino is offline
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Re: I need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by kimbermoon View Post
The Nodal Axis in the chart offers much information about your path of destiny in life.
Thank you so much for your comment and valuable advice : )

I did some research about the lunar nodes after seeing your reply, and I really think that this is one of the major problems in my life, perhaps the biggest one. I always feel the need to advance, make plans etc (mostly regarding the 6th house issues) and in the end, I always find myself back where I started, in seclusion and solitude, but not in a healthy way. I realized that I was just unconsciously drowning myself in my 12th house issues. Thing is, I really don't know what should I do about it because it seems very blurry and unclear.

I had problems with my mother throughout my life and had to witness some "darker sides" of human nature because of her (I don't blame her though) at a very young age. Moon being the ruler of my SN, maybe this is one of the things that I have to work on, I don't know.

Another problem is that I have some health issues which makes me dependent on external help from other people from time to time. I had to spend some part of my life in hospitals or at home (bone problems). And those times kind of feel more "familiar" and "safe" in a strange way. I didn't know that my SN was the reason behind it.
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Unread 12-31-2017, 08:43 PM
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kimbermoon kimbermoon is offline
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Smile Re: I need help

I do think there is a strong connection between your psyche and your health issues, thus by healing your internal conditioning, your health would improve. All that Capricorn energy in the 6th H makes a strong connection with having trouble with your bones. Symbolically this relates to the need to truly stand on your own with strength and conviction.

Since Pluto inhabits your 4th House, the mother's influence is strongly suggestive of the need to heal that inner influence that leaves you feeling weak and perhaps victimized [as within, so without].

By contrast your South Node in Cancer shows the likelihood of spending too much time being immersed in your emotions and allowing yourself to be prone to an unhealthy dependence on others. Now you must learn to come into your own authority and claim more independence. It's 12th house position shows that you have carried over karmic memories relating to experiences connected to having your ego dissolved over and over again, and these memories can be difficult to remove from the psyche, so they continue to affect your sense of self. Your challenge in this lifetime is to re-assert your own Identity and sense of self before you can manifest your vision in a concrete way on the earthly level.

With Jupiter making another transit over Pluto in the new year, this is suggestive of hope that you can work on the healing you need in that area. This is a cycle that repeats itself every 12 years so if you can make a connection with what was happening at that time, you can gain some insight on the theme that will play out again. Through forgiveness of the past, you can open yourself up to love again.
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