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  #1  
Unread 01-29-2019, 04:59 AM
love-thinking love-thinking is offline
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People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Can we discuss what aspects make someone attract good people as lovers and friends and what aspects cause another to attract terrible people as friends and lovers?

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  #2  
Unread 01-29-2019, 03:45 PM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

When it comes to what we attract we are really sort of at the mercy of our Moon, Mars and Venus and the aspects they make...esp. to the outer planets.
For friends we tend to live out the 11th house dynamics; for lovers, the 5th house, and for legal mates, the 7th house.

So the planets IN these houses and the planets that rule these houses and all the aspects they make tend to show us what is motivating our attractions.

Also: sometimes attraction is fueled by the current heavy transits. This is why sometimes we look back and say about a person we "loved" in the past, "WHAT was I thinking??" :
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Last edited by Lin; 01-29-2019 at 03:48 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 01-29-2019, 03:50 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

I also think that attracting negative people comes down to self esteem. I would look at how strong the Sun is in addition to what Lin said, especially for hetro women or any one attracted to male energy.
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  #4  
Unread 01-29-2019, 09:53 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Right. I don't think there's just one astrological signature, as this can happen for different reasons.
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  #5  
Unread 01-29-2019, 10:26 PM
GemwDepth GemwDepth is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by Starsareround View Post
I also think that attracting negative people comes down to self esteem. I would look at how strong the Sun is in addition to what Lin said, especially for hetro women or any one attracted to male energy.
Also transits and progressions. e.g. I've noticed a definite pattern when Neptune is squaring my Sun. Types of people I've never attracted prior to that came in waves.
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  #6  
Unread 01-29-2019, 10:44 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by GemwDepth View Post
Also transits and progressions. e.g. I've noticed a definite pattern when Neptune is squaring my Sun. Types of people I've never attracted prior to that came in waves.



Oh, hell yeah! Neptune transits will have you doubting your BS detector big time!
...there was this guy I met during Neptune transit. So, so attractive but he would say odd things sometimes that got my red flags up. Ordinarily I would always just nip it anytime I got that vibe with someone, but Neptune kept me fooled
I ended up giving him a lot more time and energy than I ever should have, and I look back and think how odd that was...NEPTUNE...
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Last edited by Starsareround; 01-29-2019 at 10:49 PM.
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  #7  
Unread 02-04-2019, 02:32 AM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Yes, Neptune and even Uranus in transit to a personal planet can suddenly make one attracted to someone you would not have noticed or chosen at a different time.

Self esteem or self image has a LOT to do with the Moon. The mother is the first person to show us that we are loved, noticed, listened to, cherished.................or not.
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  #8  
Unread 02-09-2019, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GemwDepth View Post
Also transits and progressions. e.g. I've noticed a definite pattern when Neptune is squaring my Sun. Types of people I've never attracted prior to that came in waves.
I already have Neptune trine Sun so this is hardly a problem to me, because if I'm fooled, I've already been fooled since forever. I already knew how to deal with that kind of energy.
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  #9  
Unread 02-09-2019, 05:54 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

I attract all different kinds of people, and I don't mean romantically, necessarily. I think it's probably the 1st house sun with Taurus ascendant. I seem approachable, which was a nightmare to me as a kid because I was very shy. I think it comes down to boundaries mostly. When my boundaries are up, shady people are less likely to approach and even if they do, my closed-off response acts as a barrier.
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  #10  
Unread 02-14-2019, 02:50 AM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by GemwDepth View Post
Also transits and progressions. e.g. I've noticed a definite pattern when Neptune is squaring my Sun. Types of people I've never attracted prior to that came in waves.
Wait, what? You sound like there's been many times that your Neptune has squared your Sun. Isn't Neptune a very slow moving planet?
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  #11  
Unread 02-18-2019, 08:25 PM
greybeard greybeard is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Probably the old saw about "birds of a feather" will solve the problem. Gauge the character of the native....
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  #12  
Unread 02-18-2019, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wan View Post
Wait, what? You sound like there's been many times that your Neptune has squared your Sun. Isn't Neptune a very slow moving planet?
When a planet goes retrograde it steps the same degree twice, so you can have the same aspect twice in a relatively short time span.
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Unread 02-18-2019, 10:04 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by BlackLioness87 View Post
When a planet goes retrograde it steps the same degree twice, so you can have the same aspect twice in a relatively short time span.
Oh I see. Thanks.
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  #14  
Unread 02-19-2019, 06:52 AM
greybeard greybeard is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Actually, in some cases, a retrograde planet touches the same degree 3 times, not 2. Neptune takes about a year to go through the retrograde cycle with a span of about 3 degrees.

Last edited by greybeard; 02-19-2019 at 06:59 AM.
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  #15  
Unread 02-21-2019, 08:35 AM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Eh.. what is good and bad anyways. It's all a matter of perspective so it's hard to say. You attract what you are and what you can offer, so if you attract bad friends or lovers maybe its time to look within and see why xD
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Unread 02-24-2019, 02:42 AM
GemwDepth GemwDepth is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by wan View Post
Wait, what? You sound like there's been many times that your Neptune has squared your Sun. Isn't Neptune a very slow moving planet?
Just rereading this thread back from a month ago, and I forgot I had commented.

What I was originally saying was that transits and progressions also matter a great deal, in terms of people that comes into one's life.

Progressions move very slowly, and I've seen, in fact, one pattern on this very site that will last decades. In my personal life I have a current pattern (a private one) I've calculated to last about 8-9 years. It begin with an influx of characters I have never encountered previously in my life; one or two instances I can and will ignore. But it got to the point where I could no longer ignore this pattern of people and events, and all my previous defenses I've learnt and accumulated thus far in life no longer worked with the new crop...

That was when I took the plunge to figure out what was going on, why, what I needed to do to cope, and what new tools I needed to learn. Basically I stopped sitting there and took intentional action. I've reached some private conclusions analyzing the matter, both in real life and the astrological signatures.

And true to the progressed pattern, the further the orb the less the impact. It was the most active when the degrees were exact to 2 degree orb. But I know it will be 8-9 years before this new crop of characters will be gone from my life, for good. In the main time, this puppy needs to learn new tricks; to both deal and conquer.

And I gave an example of Neptune squaring Sun, in the Pisces-Gemini phases right now. But that was just one off-hand example for my main point.

What I do not have is a precise (and I mean precise) picture of influence, causation and weight. For that, it will be the domain of astrological research, much more examples, and no doubt the realm of the 'greats'. For example, I remember Celeste Teal once said she will need to see the existence of 3 similar patterns in transit, progression, etc., before she will make a definite prediction that anything will transpire. As there are so many planetary configurations at any given time, and most of it never actually ignite into any ostensible events.

I like Witchy's point above about boundaries, and a Neptune squaring Sun transit would definitely erode one's boundaries, and perhaps cause both negative people to seek opportunism (an easy mark) and cause a native's lack of ability to discern and take action. That's one explanation for attracting an increased level of shady characters, but it's still reactionary.

What I've seen from progressed patterns though, is more cardinal/angularity, for lack of a better word. Things actively happen to you, without you doing much to have 'attracted' it. Again, it goes back to my point of what is still imprecise.
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  #17  
Unread 02-24-2019, 03:28 AM
love-thinking love-thinking is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Originally Posted by ardentika View Post
Eh.. what is good and bad anyways. It's all a matter of perspective so it's hard to say. You attract what you are and what you can offer, so if you attract bad friends or lovers maybe its time to look within and see why xD
How's that true when codependents/empaths attract narcissists quite a lot?
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  #18  
Unread 02-24-2019, 11:37 AM
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How's that true when codependents/empaths attract narcissists quite a lot?
Because most of the times codependent people are such who would undermine their own value out of fear of being alone. So again you attract exactly what you are. Someone undermining your value and playing with you. A person with normal self esteem would never attract such a person, even if they do they won't fall in the trap. To change the people you attract you gotta change yourself and astrology can help you with that.

In this case its not even about codependency or empaths I feel more as it is about self worth and self esteem. I am too somewhat codependent and an empath when I want to and I can tell a narcissist a mile away and just know to keep them within healthy boundaries.
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  #19  
Unread 02-24-2019, 12:01 PM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Agreed with ardentika. I've struggled a great deal with self-esteem and self-negation, and throughout my youth I CONSTANTLY attracted people who could not bear to shift attention away from themselves and their achievements, and were extremely manipulative (some I could categorise as narcissists with some certainty). I also kept attracting people with rage issues. Astrology helped me grow personally, take a hard look at some latent unpleasantries within my own self, and I haven't encountered / put up with that sort of thing in quite a while while being comfortable with my sensitivity.

I think it's incorrect to simply say that empaths attract narcissists. While the two might feel drawn to each other, whether or not an empath responds to this desire to connect is a direct function of how self-aware and secure they are in their styles of attachment. If positive, it won't evolve into a friendship or relationship in the first place.

Last edited by aniyas; 02-24-2019 at 02:23 PM.
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  #20  
Unread 02-25-2019, 12:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greybeard View Post
Actually, in some cases, a retrograde planet touches the same degree 3 times, not 2. Neptune takes about a year to go through the retrograde cycle with a span of about 3 degrees.
Yeap, a planet only touches twice the exact degree/longitude where it was placed before engaging "retrograde" motion. I.E. My Saturn return hit me three times, tr Saturn engaged retro motion some degrees ahead natal Saturn. But when tr Chiron was on my DSC it went retrograde when it was still close to my DSC. Chiron transiting my DSC only hit me twice, though the first hit lasted longer.
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Unread 02-25-2019, 01:25 AM
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Originally Posted by aniyas View Post
Agreed with ardentika. I've struggled a great deal with self-esteem and self-negation, and throughout my youth I CONSTANTLY attracted people who could not bear to shift attention away from themselves and their achievements, and were extremely manipulative (some I could categorise as narcissists with some certainty). I also kept attracting people with rage issues. Astrology helped me grow personally, take a hard look at some latent unpleasantries within my own self, and I haven't encountered / put up with that sort of thing in quite a while while being comfortable with my sensitivity.

I think it's incorrect to simply say that empaths attract narcissists. While the two might feel drawn to each other, whether or not an empath responds to this desire to connect is a direct function of how self-aware and secure they are in their styles of attachment. If positive, it won't evolve into a friendship or relationship in the first place.
I also agree with ardentika. And from personal experience I can say that all people I know that had been involved with narcissists have childhood wounds (some just have been raised in "dysfunctional" or single-parent families). People involved with narcissists might be empaths but they aren't totally Zen neither light beings.

Well, that's what I've seen.
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Unread 02-25-2019, 02:08 AM
GemwDepth GemwDepth is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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Because most of the times codependent people are such who would undermine their own value out of fear of being alone. So again you attract exactly what you are. Someone undermining your value and playing with you. A person with normal self esteem would never attract such a person, even if they do they won't fall in the trap. To change the people you attract you gotta change yourself and astrology can help you with that.

In this case its not even about codependency or empaths I feel more as it is about self worth and self esteem. I am too somewhat codependent and an empath when I want to and I can tell a narcissist a mile away and just know to keep them within healthy boundaries.
I feel that Narcissists and other related PDs have this sort of extrasensory antenna; an almost supernatural ability (negatively used) into a potential target's blind spots and vulnerabilities. They sense, hook into, manipulate and exploit.

Every single time I've unknowingly attracted one I deep dive and analyze my own thought process, wishes, desires, etc, and I always come away with a blind spot or two that wasn't visible to me before at a conscious level.

However, I realize not everyone has the ability to be honest with themselves, or are capable of rational, self-awareness. Some people rather escape and delude themselves than face the truth.

I feel each experience is best used to fortify our own blind spots for ourselves. And as far as blind spots goes, Neptune / Pisces energy is a huge player, as well as latent moon/venus issues for unfulfilled emotional needs, which a codependent type usually project externally.
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  #23  
Unread 02-25-2019, 10:26 AM
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

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I feel that Narcissists and other related PDs have this sort of extrasensory antenna; an almost supernatural ability (negatively used) into a potential target's blind spots and vulnerabilities. They sense, hook into, manipulate and exploit.

Every single time I've unknowingly attracted one I deep dive and analyze my own thought process, wishes, desires, etc, and I always come away with a blind spot or two that wasn't visible to me before at a conscious level.

However, I realize not everyone has the ability to be honest with themselves, or are capable of rational, self-awareness. Some people rather escape and delude themselves than face the truth.

I feel each experience is best used to fortify our own blind spots for ourselves. And as far as blind spots goes, Neptune / Pisces energy is a huge player, as well as latent moon/venus issues for unfulfilled emotional needs, which a codependent type usually project externally.
.

I don't think this is true. I don't know why people assume ALWAYS that Narcissist do everything consciously. As if their victim is doing it consciously too and thinking "Oh yes I want to get hurt, please, someone, mistreat me" . That's ridiculous.


Why everyone expects that from a narcissist. First of all a narcissist is NOT a pd. Its a personality trait and it's pretty much an academical term used for an "as*hole" . It's not the same as a sociopath or psycopath.



So they are not doing it by any means on purpose, they just love themselves more than they love anyone else, that's all. That doesn't make them evil masterminds lol.


I have pretty much all of the issues you explain, Pisces Asc, Moon square Venus, and I've attracted a potential sociopath only ones in my life. Definitely felt something was off and set boundaries. But yes most of the times I do attract narcissists lol. Better said self absorbed guys, however they are by no meas doing it on purpose. It's just lack of awareness, they are all good people who I can rely on , when they deal with the selfishness.



Plus those aspects cannot be an excuse. They won't last forever, they just demand attention and healing.
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  #24  
Unread 02-25-2019, 10:52 AM
GemwDepth GemwDepth is offline
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Re: People that attract decent people vs people who don't

Not interested in debating on technical terms. I've studied the subject matter for years, both the scientific nomenclatures of beliefs, religious sectors and spiritual beliefs.

My use of PD in the scientific nomenclature refers to the Cluster-B personality disorders within the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) - Narcissism, ASPD, Borderline, Histrionics.

My use of the term Narcissist or Narcissism do not refer to typical self-centered behavior of mainstream populations. Many of those words you mention are overused and typically confused within the mainstream.

I don't know what type of 'Narcissists' you're talking about. Apples and oranges perhaps (?).

I am talking about clinically diagnosed, pathological behavior categorized in Psychiatry. All Cluster-Bs possess certain similarities, hence categorized within one umbrella in the DSM.
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