Hi intiutivepiscesmercury6
Your composite has the south node conjunct the ascendant so the nodal axis is conjunct to your asc/dsc axis. This is a sign that you and he have a strong psychic connection.this shows you can read each other’s minds and emotions and answer questions before the are asked etc. this often fives a feeling of fate or destiny. But th south node is on the ascendant and this shows that there can be a lot of mental misunderstanding if you both are not on the same page .by tha I mesn if you both are sympathetic t psychic influences then the closeness of minds will come out. But if one does not believe in psychic connections etc, then this aspect can lead to a struggle of wills I which one tries to control the thoughts and ideas of the other. But as you have been together for so long ,I have to assume the positive aspect of thii connection prevails.
Although this is a strange composite for having such a long history together.
The sun/moon midpoint I conjunct to orcus and square to pluto and sedan. This shows that a the foundation of the relationship there is a strong selfishness. Usually this level of selfishness precludes a intimate relationship because there is no compromising. this tends to show that in spite of the longevity of this hookup, you really still are separate souls.
Sedna’s inclusion in this pattern suggest thsat there are deep emotional issues that aren’t being revealed. Usually these issue are from a previous relationship and aren’t directly related to this relationship. But this does give a certain emotional distance.
On the other hand the psyche/ eros midpoint is conjunct the vertex which shows there is a spontaneous idealist and romantic spiritual attraction between you. So inspite os an unconscious distance between you there is this ethereal sense of love and destiny at play. The nodal axis on the asc/dsc can also give a feeling of fate or destiny because often other worldly or alternalte dimensional feeling occur between you.
Jupiter is conjunct to Venus and trine the ascendant and the south node. This is a very favorable aspect as it shows a enjoyment of each others presences and show you tend always to be happy and around each other. You just enjoy experiencing life together. This aspect also shows that you bot may have similar professions or educational standing and this aspect is often found with counselors or with employment in some type of health relations occupation. This aspect is also favorable for long term relationships or marriage but there must be other supporting emotional attraction for commitment to occur. this aspect by itself does not guarantee a long term relationship.
In addition psyche is conjunct to juno and the moon/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to juno and psyche . this is another excellent pattern and is likely the one that has given longevity to the relationship. The moon/Saturn midpoint shows devotion and commitment and will stick with the partner through thick and thin but will also stay with a relationship that is oppressive. This explains why even with the orcis/pluto square the relationship lasted so long. Saturn/moon shows unconditional devotion.
The venus/mars midpoint is square to nessus which is another rather surprising aspec beause it shows that there is a “darkside side “to the emotional/sexual expression of love. This aspect usually shows adomineering and controlling influence from the man. And again is a very selfish aspect usually for a long term relationship. These aspects lead me to believe that there is a S/M quality to the relationship, that is one of you is dom and the other is sub.
The eris/mars midpoint is conjunct to the sun which shows in addition to the ethereal/spiritual love ,there is also a very powerful physical/carnal side to the relationship. But even this can be problematic because eris is almost totally devote to pure crnal sensuality and often emotional intimacuy suffers because once the desire body is satiated, there is not corresponding increase in emotional love/intimacy. Over all many of the sexual aspects in this chart indicate a very strong passions initially but that the sexual urge likely has decreased over time because the emotional intimacy has not increased as usually happens when the is sexual compatibility.
Mercury is trine to Uranus which shows you both are extremely intelligent and this also increases the psychic/astral energies between you, it can give common deans with each other and even communication through the dream state. This aspect give vibrant and far sighted conversation and exchange of novel ideas.
The moon/psyche midpoint is conjunct to pluto which again shows a pleasure /pain emotional dynamic as if every show of love is associated with back handed compliments, that is pure love is not accepedt but must be qualified and “degraded”. Again the strong selfish streak in the chart shows that when love is strongest between you is when he tries to push away from you.
Definitely the most problematic aspects were occurring in the dec-april 2016 period you are asking about.
Mars is conjunct to chiron and opposed to the Saturn/Uranus conjunction
The Saturn/Uranus conjunction was square by the node in oct to nov 2015 and the mars/chiron midpoint was square by the node in November with the node square to mars in December.
Frankly these transit could easily be violent. At any rate i am absolutely amazed the relationship did not breakup. Though from your post ,it seems it did suffer irreparable damage that is still affecting you.
As I said there could have been violence which would not surprise me as there is so much darkness in the expression of sexual/emotional energies.
But whatever happened ,he show total disregard for your emotional feeling and was ctrical and hurtful toward you at every turn during this period.
This period could have include infidelity and lies from him in addition to potential physical and emotional abuse.
I have to presume since you are still with him that he has recanted and apologized. And your reservations may be that you are not sure you can trust him any more.
The thing is that with the nodal axis on the asc/dsc axis there is a feeling of destiny and fate. And it is these feeling that do not allow you to cast him aside. Also the moon/Saturn /juno pattern,as i mentioned shows a devotion to a relationship even if it is a lost cause which I believe this is .
As I first mentioned the relationship is based on selfishness. This will never change and he will never metamorphose into your ideal soulmate. The Jupiter/venus pattern inclines me to believe that there is a economic reason as to why the relationship even still “exist”. And if so that is no reason to continue
rahu
I really dont know where to start. Maybe as light as I can, with an attempt at a joke. I have copied your original response and saved to my computer, and am replying in Wordpad, to be copied onto the site. Okay, not a joke at all, but my heart is heavy.
Psychic connection - I literally have felt like he can read my mind from a very very early point in our relationship. I always thought it was an Edward Cullen Syndrom (which is kinda funny actually, because my bf has his same birthday) I have actually brought this up in conversation, and he always responds kinda coy. I am much more prone to believing in this type of possibility, and have recently accepted my own gifts, which of course, makes them stronger. I think the relationship has given a certain destined feeling, again, from the beginning. I can see us together as far as I can imagine. And I have great desire to do so.
The Sun/Moon MP conj to Orcus and sq to Plu and Sedan -
can you see where the selfishness is coming from? There is ...extreme compromising in our relationship, I would have to say. On both sides. From him, I want more communication, and to do more activities together - and to feel a connection from him wanting the same thing. I have always struggled with the friction that seems to be there from him wanting life one way, and me wanting something else. It appears to be small, little things when each situation is looked at individually, but after 8 years, it makes me wonder how this will bode in 5 more, 10, 30 more years. I want to go for bike rides, take walks, enjoy eachothers time, and... I am not sure he is being fully honest with me about what he really wants or needs. Not even sure he knows what he wants. But as far as us trying to move past this situation that happened, as well as strengthening our relationship, he is very open to anything I suggest.
Seperate Souls - unfortunately I cannot dodge this one. This is an underlying feeling that I cannot seem to shake, even when things are great with us. And I can Feel (within the relationship) this aspect as a whole. Because, now we come to a full circle: although we are trying so hard and have stuck with the relationship, we still remain... not able to fully...feel eachother. I cannot stress enough - this is not without action. We Are Trying So Hard.
Sedna in the mix - I would like to learn a bit more about this. I would assume these deep emotional issues spawned from this time, but you say they probably came from a previous relationship. Only I have previous relationships. I would say in the beginning of the relationship, I was disconnected to us, only slightly, because of my last relationship. I have fully healyed from it, and truly dont feel any baggage from it anymore (So far, I have responded to your reply paragraph by paragraph, however I think I should elaborate on the situation that happened, when Mars conj Chiron opp Saturn/Uranus Conj.At the end of the day, the fact is: I dont want to pursue this relationship if it is not right. But I also refuse to give it up until I am Sure.
Let me get into the situation a bit: Back story: We lived with his family in south Florida for 5 years. He helping with bills, mother very adamant about needing her sons help. BF gets a job in Texas, we decide to move, and when we do, feel this... relief from finally having privacy for first time in our lives. Come just more than a year later, my mother, and his mother, father, and brother are all living with us (Oct 2016) What do I say. It was a battle of wills, power. His mother and I were fighting for the head of household. The animosity and awkward and struggle lasted until April, when I had an outburst and I yelled through the whole house " Stop slamming the doors!", which resulted in her confronting me, while Alberto and my mother were present. She moved out a week later, his brother in August, and my mother only a month ago. Needless to say, it has all wreaked havoc on all parts of the family, including the relationship with my mother and I, which, to be frank, was probably the closest of anyone (except berto and i)
I think it goes without saying, there is a strong attraction to us. This is evident no matter what the mood the reationship is.
And then we get to the nitty gritty. Moon/ Saturn MP also, unfortunately, feels like something I've experienced. We have almost broken up a few times, it got extremely "scary" as We put it. This was all completely confined to this Oct2016-Now point.
Have we already experienced everything this relationship has to offer? Does he still love me like he says he does, or does he feel this Moon/Saturn MP also, and maybe doesnt have the heart to tell me? Will we heal? I know you said the conj. of psyche to Juno, with Moon-Sat MP being conj to Juno shows devotion to the extreme, even when for no good reason. I just feel like we have more to teach eachother, not to mention, am absolutely terrified and... stupidfied on how to have life without him.
He is my light. He is silly like me, and we laugh so much, so genuinely together. I feel like we are good opposites, like when I cannot see something, even if trivial or for learning, he can explain it to me in a way I had not thought of, and vice versa(Merc trine Uranus?). We are having more sex now than we have in years, and it is not awkward, and at least on my part, feels right (and I cannot partake in sex unless it feels true) There is more here. A lot of it may be hidden underneath the pile from the war... but dont countries come back from war? The war was not between us!
Venus/Mars MP sq. Nessus - I dont know if maybe this is a mild aspect, perhaps, because I really cannot see this. He is literally the furthest thing from domineering or controlling! He can hardly decide between the Oldies playlist or the Hodgepodge playlist. I can literally count the amount of times he has raised his voice at me on one hand, and do not have to use all fingers. We actually dont abide by many typical gender rules. If anyone were controlling, it would be me. I do urge us to do things, but this is because he struggles to come up with ideas himself, however, recently, as i said before, we are trying So Hard, and he has made suggestions of activities for us, that we have done.
Eris/mars MP conj. Sun - Yes, when we first got together, we were like little bunnies. And yes, passions have diminished. I have always blamed this, for the most part, on us not having privacy for the grand duration of our relationship. I think after a while, we felt prisoner to our situation. Im sure this is the aspect that shows... well... we dont like vanilla sex. And, thats all you can really do if you also care about your brother, or mother walking by and hearing.
Is this just an excuse? Or is it a viable reason for our sexual side to have taken a seat...way in the back. Again.... this has began to shift right at the time my mother moved out. As far as the emotional intimacy not increasing, I would have to disagree with this. We lay, and laugh, and kiss, and talk afterwards.
Moon/Psyche MP conj to Pluto - This i can see a bit - coming from me... I will say something like You should brush your teeth more than once a day honey. I do notice this behavior in myself, and pretty often, ask him, tell him I am only trying to help. However, on the other hand, there are so so many shows of love that are not passive aggresive.
Rahu, I really would like to learn more about the selfish streak. Are there any books or readings in particular I could read to learn more about these selfish streak aspects? I do not see it very much at all. If there is any selfishness here, it can be confined to him drinking the last half of the last Dr. Pepper (buuurn ) or not helping clear off the dinner table. I will get to why, at this point, doesnt even bother me. Is there an element here that I know nothing about? Is he deceiving me on a level that could wound me very much?
Transits of 2015-2016 - First, I feel a sense of... thankfulness that someone outside the situation can see, how truly awful it was. He is the last person on Earth to be violent. I will admit, we both have literally banged our heads on the wall during this time, but absolutely no psysical harm. Again, he's barely raised his voice at me - ever. Definitely we both suffered damage. I wouldnt put it so point blank that he showed total disregard for my emotions. He was there, telling me he sees his mom, the situation. He just felt a loss of power for himself, as the true head of household. He did not want to confront his mother. And this is what I think, untimately, If was done in a timely manner, could have avoided some of the aftermath we all live in now. However, I had a terrible suspicion he would find relief elsewhere (infidelity). I have asked him about it, and he denies, and to be honest, Id have to say its my more rational side that believes him. Its the parinoid side that still ponders. As far as lies, I just live in this wonder of,
Does he resent me from what happened? What afflictions he gained from this, will he heal if we stay together? To your presumtion, he has apologized, for not being there fully when I needed him. I also wonder if... the next time life throws a curve ball at us, how will we react then? Similarly?
Will we ever grow strength and deal with situations more properly?
Side note - if this man cheated, I will absolutely never never ever in my life trust anyone else - because if he cheated, Anyone Will. Side note 2 - horrible history with cheating in my realtionships, never cheated myself.
And your second to last paragraph hurts so bad. You believe there is no coming back from this? I definitely feel the effects of nodal axis on asc/dsc but.... there is more here. I hope I have not come off Whiny. And if I have, please accept my apology. It is hard for me to communicate, so, due to my adamacy of getting some answers, I have allowed myself to 'speak' more freely... anyway. Sorry If I sound whiny.
Selfishness again. Like carbon monoxide, I guess..... I never knew it was here, but aparently its killing us. </3
It is true, he is the only one with an income, and I stay home and take care of home, pets, and meals. This almost a not issue with us; I make sure to ask him perioidically if he still feels the same about this arrangement. While he makes all the income, I do every ounce of housework, and he doesnt lift a finger (selfishness, on both parts? wouldnt this balance out, as we feel it does...?) I can assure you - if he came home, said the company let go half the employees, and we had to move, change lifestyle... whatever. That would not change my feelings of him or the realtionship at all. If we had the warm, strong, tingly love I used to be accusomted to, and now, find myself living in longer and longer moments of, I would not ever see a reason to leave.
Well, Rahu, I certainly appreciate your response. I dont like alot of what you had to say
but I am hoping that you can offer a bit more advice and knowledge. Esp about the strong selfishness you see. Either way, thank you so much, because now I have a wise except to study off of.
I thank you so so much for your time and wisdom. I have a lot of respect for you, seeing as I dont even know you . 
& also have attached the natals for both of us. I am Aries, He is Gemini. 
i'll get to it asap.