How did you get on with Mother/moon?

rogue_red said:

Maybe after all is said and done it will come down to there not being a single planet that indicates mother or father but is a combination of planets/houses aspects. I have always been able to determine if there was trouble or problems in childhood but when it comes to determining which parent was responsible i only got it 50% of the time.

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Without reading from Traditional viewpoints (like quite a few keep trying), you SHOULD be able to identify with some or even most of traits in the thread. Again, if you have outer weight planet conj, square or opp moon then probably not so much....

But even us modern astrologers cannot deny basic stuff like mom =Moon

gaer said:

From the thread, I can't tell if the idea is to use the mother's Moon or our own to describe out mothers.

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Well the whole idea was to look at your own chart to identify/describe your mother. But like the majority here seem to want to look at what their children think of them....

So suppose both apply, but if you dont have really close relationships with your mother and are not able to ask such personal questions. How exactly will you know what your children think of you?

Also, again the thread does not deal with additional info like aspects, synastry....

When i do tarot card readings, with my astrological cards, i say to clients, 'don't look for anyone under these star signs, just listen to the meanings, symbolisms, cos you will identify with the Traits and meanings.' AND THEY DO identify with traits and qualities when explained in that way......cos we are ALL multifaceted beings

While I think there is some indication of the relationship with one's mother to the sign and house position of the Moon I don't think this can be divorced from the Moon's aspects. By sign and house I have a dignified Moon - in Taurus in the 4th house - and parts of the descriptions first posted about these do apply to my perception of my mother. However my Moon is also part of a Grand Cross and this hugely modifies the loving, motherly, emotionally nurturing, sensual and sensitive Moon/mother that I might imagine and indeed I do have. Squares to Uranus and Chiron sure add some pain and disruption into the mix, for starters.

I observe with interest parents' assessment of their childrens' charts, but in my experience love is blind, and many parents find it almost impossible to understand how/why their child internalises a parental figure that bears little resemblance to how the parent sees themselves and their behaviour. Much more reliable to look at your own internalised perception of your mother and father. They probably intended the best for you (I know mine did) as you do for your own children, but that does not mean you have internalised only their overt behaviour towards you. Children are much more perceptive and sensitive than that.

Moon in Capricorn and it's in the 10th!!
Yes the description fits my mother, but don't be fooled by a Cap moon. We aren't cold, we are hurt deeply and it is a struggle to deal with it.
I resent the description conveyed here. Do I seem cold?
I also have Saturn in the 12th conjunct my Pisces Rising and Chiron too, and I am a Cancer sun.
We feel emotions, we need understanding and someone we can trust.
Neglect is sometimes worse than any physical or verbal abuse they throw at us.
And a Cancer is deeply affected by the mother figure regardless.

seagrass said:

Moon in Capricorn and it's in the 10th!!
Yes the description fits my mother, but don't be fooled by a Cap moon. We aren't cold, we are hurt deeply and it is a struggle to deal with it.
I resent the description conveyed here. Do I seem cold?
I also have Saturn in the 12th conjunct my Pisces Rising and Chiron too, and I am a Cancer sun.
We feel emotions, we need understanding and someone we can trust.
Neglect is sometimes worse than any physical or verbal abuse they throw at us.
And a Cancer is deeply affected by the mother figure regardless.

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You must appreciate that these comments were 'general' and obviously did not take into account the moon's aspects, which play a major part in analysing your relationships with your mother. Please do not take these personally or to heart

I have moon in Cancer in the 6th, and I was deeply wounded by my mother, even though I loved her dearly. She had moon in Virgo, and was very critical, and so fussy about neatness and dirt, and all that stuff which doesn't matter at all. I found her to be aggressive and cruel at times (my moon squares a Mars-Neptune conj in Libra) and she never knew how damaging she was. I'm still dealing with this stuff, 11 years after her death.

My brother, on the other hand, has Moon in Scorpio, and he put our mother on a pedestal, thought of her as a Goddess. He only ever saw her through a filter of `niceness'. His moon is in the 2nd house.

I have Moon in the 9th (Sagittarius' natural house, my mother's Sun sign) in Leo (my father's sign, weirdly enough).

MOON IN LEO OR IN THE FIFTH HOUSE
This individual`s mother was a queen in her own circle, a very charming woman, probably quite physically attractive, generous,intelligent, and loving.

True, true, and true.

Most likely, she had many friends and admirers.

Eh, not so many friends. The ones she does have, she's had for years, though. No "admirers" that I knew or know of.

The female child may have felt she was in competition with her mother, and therefore always seeks to improve herself in order to match her mother. (Even if she succeeds, she remains somewhat insecure about her own attractiveness).

This is true. After all my mom's been through, she still takes on the world with a smile, and never shows weakness. I only hope I can be more like her as I mature.

Moon in Leo women want to be reassured continually that they are fascinating, for they are never totally secure in their own self‑worth.

This is definitely true for me.

MOON IN SAGITTARIUS OR IN THE NINTH HOUSE
The mother was a wanderer, either literally or mentally, and enjoyed a vivid inner life.

Mentally, maybe, but she never lets on to the outside world.

She was idealistic and optimistic, although these traits constantly set her up for disillusionment and bitterness, and her changeable nature probably confused the child.

Definitely.

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My mother has always supported me, loved me, done everything she could for me. But I have always been second to my father. If he ever did anything to hurt me, she would suddenly be busy or not remember the event happening or agree with my dad that I deserved it. For example, one night, I poured my heart out to her, telling her how often my dad had threatened to kill me over the years, and how I had never told anyone. She believed me and comforted me, but didn't know what to say. The next day, it came up in an argument with my father, and when I turned to my mother for backup, she agreed with my dad that I was making it up. I wonder if her Moon in Libra is to blame?

Truly, mothers can wound their children--though in most cases, without meaning to do so. If astrology has any healing value, hopefully it is in reading our mothers' charts, and understanding the demons with which they had to contend, and the (limited) personal resources they had to deal with them.

My moon is in Leo. I felt that my mother was often angry with me for reasons I couldn't fathom: as a Scorpio, I think she simmered a fair bit below the surface. Reading her chart brought some degree of compassion for her. She had a difficult old age and death, with little reconciliation on my part. Yet I think about her almost every day.

The point about the moon in your chart, is that it is a large part of who you are. Make peace with your mother if you wish to be a well-integrated and whole person. If she is too toxic in the flesh for you to do this in-person while she lives, then do so in your own private space.

If you have or will have children of your own, think of how these lunar experiences continue through the generations.

It's fairly easy to spot how the maternal relationship is/was based on your birth chart. It's much harder to tell "what kind of a mother" one will be based on the same criteria.

There are certain indicators, of course, but unfortunately you can't get a statistical image to build a case on, unless of course you do something crazy like have fourteen children.

Oh, update... we have an example!

http://matthewastrology.blogspot.com/2009/02/nadya-suleman-and-her-children-part-one.html

MOON IN VIRGO OR IN THE SIXTH HOUSE
The mother was a practical, diligent, and hardworking person, and may have been obsessed with neatness in the home and at work. The Moon in Virgo person probably saw his or her mother as a bit of a nag, who insisted on cleanliness. Perhaps he or she fell into the pattern of being "mother`s little helper" and may be as diligent as mother when it comes to housekeeping. Such people like their surroundings to be organised and sometimes can be neurotic about it.

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My Moon is in the 6th House, in Gemini, and this is an accurate description of my mother (a Gemini with Virgo Ascendant). Yes, she could be a nag! But I did not inherit her penchant for neatness. Everone comments on the shambles of my desk -- with good reason -- but I have a Cap Ascendant with Mercury in Capricorn so despite the apparent chaos, I do know where everything is. And yes, I am an animal lover.

Matthew, I agree with you. I am very proud of my mother and I love her so much that it makes my heart smile (Leo). It makes more sense to look at the Moon as your relationship with your mother rather than your mother herself. Everyone else probably already knew that, but I'm a little slow, so forgive me.

A50, I feel so silly for not remembering aspects before I made my post about my mother. Not taking the square to Pluto and opposition to Mars into account was very ignorant of me.

I guess the placement of my Moon in Leo and it being the most elevated planet in my chart explains how I love my mom and how important she is to me. The square and opposition show our problems, but likewise the trine to Sun in 5th shows how we have always been able to get along in the end, even if we bickered every five minutes.

Moon in the 6th, in Sag. Very true both, but esp the 6th intepretation. (This is 10/10). Also my sisters have theirs in 8/9th and the 12th, from how well I know them they could identify with that. Hey she was a woman and a mother, she has to embody all of that! Also, my mum's moon is in pisces, and her mother was a pisces, so that is probably true for her too
S

ps except for the resentment of the 8th intepretation, all true. One thing though, my elder sister is the one who is very eager to show her possesiveness of our mother, and she gets jealous easily if there is a potential other new kid around. Like when we had a girl who rented a room in my mum's house, I had no problem admitting her to the family as she just fallen in love with my mum's piscean tendencies and the like, but my elder sister was the one who got a bit jealous. It was very endearing though. She is ok now and the girl is now considered one of our sisters. She has her moon in gemini in the 8th house same as my elder sister . By the way this girl, does have a bit of resentment towards her mother and so does her mother towards her since they never got along. Hence she adopted my mum instead. It happens...

MOON IN ARIES OR IN THE FIRST HOUSE
The mother was an imposing figure, who forced her will on her child through playing on his or her emotions. She probably had an inflated ego and liked to be the centre of attention; the child responded as she wanted, making her the focal point of his or her life and doing everything possible to please her. If the child`s efforts fell short of the mother`s desires, the child may have responded defensively, becoming argumentative or ­temperamental. However, the overeagerness to please mother never went away; when the mother was happy, the child simply tried harder. This pattern of behaviour has been carried into the individual`s adult relationships.

As a result, such persons tend to be somewhat rash, ­argumentative, and highly defensive as well as assertive, and usually act without thinking. They may develop the same ­self‑centred egotism that characterised their mothers. On the positive side, they have a passion for life and a love of enterprise and innovation.

If you are involved with this type of person, you may find your partner alternating between an egotistical expectation to be the centre of your Universe, and an almost desperate childlike need to reassure him or herself of your love through impulsive efforts to please you. Try not to put your partner on the defensive, and if differences arise between you, simply talk it out and let it go. Surprisingly, Ariens are more willing to do this than people of other signs.

I have the Moon in Aries in the 12th house with Pisces cusp.

My mother had a difficult personality to comprehend. I was always very shy around both my parents, i was also always very quiet. I felt very withdrawn from my mum, she was not the huggable type at all - the 12th house pisces thing i guess.

It has portrayed on to my relationships somewhat. I look for huggable types and people who can reassure and support me, probably because i never got that when i was young.

I have moon in the 6th, and my mother was a neat freak as described. But, in my chart, Saturn in the 10th represents my mother more than anything. She was the authority in the house. She was cold, judgemental, liked to keep up appearances for appearances sake, very emotionally manipulative when necessary, but usually ruled with an iron fist. I never remember getting a hug or a kind word from her, nothing was ever good enough. My boyfriend also has Saturn in the 10, and a mother similar to mine, but not quite as bad.

From my 17 years of experience with astrology and looking at charts, people with strong/domineering mothers have something heavy in the 10th house.

cassanra said:

Moon in Virgo in the 6th....mom neat and organized..heck no! Very much the opposite! I think I developed my sense of need for some order from being with out order. Pratical...no, diligent...maybe...hardworking..yes. She was a teacher in the arts and struggling in a mans world in the university. But she is warm and affectionate and my best friend. She does nag though but mostly it was about your weight or odd ball stuff.

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I second this...

I did not particularly relate to either the sign or house placement, but she was indeed very warm and effectionate (aren't all mothers supposed to be???)

astrologer50 said:

MOON IN SCORPIO OR IN THE EIGHTH HOUSE
The mother was an intense and passionate person, who would literally fight to the death for her child. However, at the same time she may have been ruthless in her ambitions and expectations for her children, and not very tolerant of their ideas and desires if they differed from hers.

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That's very like my mom. She is intent on having science career children: physician, pharmacist, engineer, etc. She does not look at things in terms of peoples' dreams or ambitions, etc, only what will bring prestige and stability.

astrologer50 said:

She had a tendency to rule through guilt, often paying the victim, and she usually won her power plays ‑ even when the child was intelligent enough to see through her ploys. Her behaviour may have given this individual a toughness and inner strength. Although the child may have grown up with bitterness toward the mother, he or she also admired her fighting spirit. Their is a powerful attachment to the mother in spite of everything.

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Again, it seems pretty accurate. My mom was good at angling herself to get what she wanted out of me and family in general, even though everyone knows what she's playing at, we all sort of go along with it I guess. I don't know if I have a powerful attachment at all. I don't intend on living anywhere near home once I finish my bachelor's.

astrologer50 said:

In a relationship, however, this person may attempt to manipulate a partner through guilt or other power plays. (Sex is one way that is used quite often). If you are involved with this sort of person, you may find yourself in constant conflicts. However, your partner`s inner passion could be such a potent attraction that it makes up for the difficulties in the relationship.

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I have never been in a romantic relationship before; I hope I'm not like that . I tend not to resort to emotional leveraging in general; if you have something to say, for God's sake SAY IT! And we'll work it out. Apart from stupid messing around I wouldn't say I'm in constant conflict with the people around me; I prefer to angle away from needless confrontation; leaves more time for the fun! Maybe being raised by someone who wasn't above mindgames makes me wary of them and the hurtful effect they can have on other people.

I dunno about the inner passion bit... We'll see...

astrologer50 said:

MOON IN SCORPIO OR IN THE EIGHTH HOUSE
The mother was an intense and passionate person, who would literally fight to the death for her child.

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True.

However, at the same time she may have been ruthless in her ambitions and expectations for her children, and not very tolerant of their ideas and desires if they differed from hers.

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Yes, she still has a lot of expectations/ambitions for me and my brother. She's never been very tolerant of my ideas nor desires. Mostly because she doesn't agree with them.

She had a tendency to rule through guilt, often paying the victim, and she usually won her power plays ‑ even when the child was intelligent enough to see through her ploys.

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Yup. That's what she did and still does. It's kinda annoying and immature, actually.

Her behaviour may have given this individual a toughness and inner strength.

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True. I've been told by a lot of people that I seem like a very strong/tough person.

Although the child may have grown up with bitterness toward the mother, he or she also admired her fighting spirit. Their is a powerful attachment to the mother in spite of everything.

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I do have some inner resentment/bitterness towards her yet I admire her fighting spirit. She had a tough life after all.
I'm not attached to her though. I took a gap year from uni and lived in England with my bf for 8 months and I didn't miss her at all.

In a relationship, however, this person may attempt to manipulate a partner through guilt or other power plays. (Sex is one way that is used quite often). If you are involved with this sort of person, you may find yourself in constant conflicts. However, your partner`s inner passion could be such a potent attraction that it makes up for the difficulties in the relationship.

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I have never used sex in power plays (yet I know my mum did that to my dad).
I have, however, noticed that I tend to manipulate my bf through guilt and strangely I don't do that intentionally, it's more like an automatic response when I feel hurt. I know it's wrong.

just bringing this thread back

wow interesting thread! my moons pisces in the 7th house.....
can somebody give a link to the site where their getting the 'cookbook' descriptions? cant find it!

abit about my childhood... i was brought up by my mother alone, my dad an alcoholic went back to ireland when i was 2 yrs old..i later discovered he had two other daughters and a wife, im a scorpio so if the sun represents the father..that could explain why secrets about him came out of the woodwork later!
even though he was mostly absent when i was growing up, i never saw him and my mom argue, they got along fine and she always spoke nicely of him (my sun is trine my moon.)
my mom has a capricorn sun, blowed hot and cold emotionally, she was practical in some places and sloppy in others... she had alot of trouble with men when i was growing up, like getting involved but not being in a stable relationship...she was romantic aswell...(my moons in the 7th H) and passive, she had problems disiplining me & maintaining the house clean & tidy. She had all the problems with depression, obesity (as have i) and alcoholism, i used to catch her crying alot and sometimes it seemed she was far away in her own thoughts & feelings to really pay attention to raising me. I remember her falling asleep and forgetting to pick me up from school more than once!

Eliza B said:

She had all the problems with depression, obesity (as have i) and alcoholism, i used to catch her crying alot and sometimes it seemed she was far away in her own thoughts & feelings to really pay attention to raising me. I remember her falling asleep and forgetting to pick me up from school more than once!

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Eliza B, that sounds like a pretty typical Moon in Pisces mother...........although as it is written it sounds extreme.

Mothers of those with Moon in Pisces are/were emotionally unavailable in some way, either through being emotionally distant and preoccupied (as I was when bringing up my 2 Pisces Moon children) or else addicted, or there in body, but just not there. I have done readings for a number of Moon in Pisces people, and they have had a range of mothering types, from a guy whose mother put him in childcare at 4 months of age so that she could go back to work full time, to one whose mother had chronic fatigue and slept all day while the child played alone in the house.

A 7th house moon can indicate a person being attracted to partners who can provide the kind of `parenting' that they never experienced. Alternately, you can be a nurturing partner, looking to `mother' others in a way you wanted to be mothered, but were not. You are most likely very sensitive to the feelings of others, and may `pick up' the emotions of others in an unconscious way. Were you to have had to `mother' your own mother by looking after her in any way you may tend to do this in adulthood as a way of `earning' love and approval. Mostly, your Moon behaviours are unconscious.