AquaVenusian
Well-known member
So, I'm asking this question because although my natal chart in my introspections has the propensity to have issues full of loose ends, this is one.
I'm struggling to forget, I promised myself I will not go looking for her and I really dont want to.
My problem was that I invested too much in this relationship ... again, this was another subject repeated to remind me ... to not donate so much ... and it wasn't because I wanted to return in the same way, but in my head we were building something, off course I was waiting something back for my surrender but I wasn't being considered.
However, she broke up with me very abruptly under no explanation. She wasn't reasonable about the reason for our break.
Actually for me, initially, it wasn't too serious because she had already done the same thing twice before, putting the ex between us, every time she was giving herself to me sentimentally in a way she had never ever done before, it was evident that she was … losing her emotional control … she would simulate something to hurt me and regain control over me, and control over herself, but with that she took actions without tact and coherence in my seeing. Soo, once again I thought she wanted to draw attention dramatically.
This was at the end of May, I agreed to change into a friendship, but this time it was different and she intensified hurt me purposely. I don't understand drama, I did everything to keep the peace, but she doesn't know how to talk, she doesn't know to expose to feel uncomfortable with any situation, she doesn't expose her feelings easy, so I never knew what was happening, for me everything was fine , but I think that we didn't see eye to eye. ... After that, through a song she expressed herself as a jealous person (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjovBmE2iZA), I was surprised because she never showed it before... but she exposed this too much later, I tried to have honest openness in that relationship, but the only honest situations were these impulsive actions to hurt me.
Yet she implied that she took advantage of my generosity and companionship. And when I confronted her about it, she felt insulted and out of nowhere cut off all contacts with me without any explanation, without any emotional maturity.
In previous times I went after her to make up, this time I wasn't and I will not, I'm determined, but I confess that I have hopes that she comes to me and that brings some improvement or positive change in the situation.
I know we have this deep connection to each other and I know she will need me, I have every sense and intuition that this subject will come back to me, but as the pain has been too deep for me, it scares me back to this situation at the same time that I want to have compassion.
I understand that in my development I need to let go and detach from finalizations, I know that my feelings for her have already changed a lot and I believe they will change even more. I'm really trying to have patience ... very difficult ... and this is a challenge for me and I'm trying to focus my full attention on myself and my work. But it is very difficult for me to deal with it and let this subject set me free in my mind, so I am asking this question to have a clearer picture of the situation and try to have some peace for my mind.
To believe that a narcissist is going to change is the same thing as believing a drug addict is going to change ?!
Is it really that we have some possibility of having free will for this type of situation ?!
Because sometimes I don't think we have ... I'm actually afraid of meeting people who are worse ... Throughout my life this kind of relationship has been repetitive in some way ... maybe I need to change myself to attract better people? !
The question is ... Will we have a possibility of reconciliation ?!
I'm struggling to forget, I promised myself I will not go looking for her and I really dont want to.
My problem was that I invested too much in this relationship ... again, this was another subject repeated to remind me ... to not donate so much ... and it wasn't because I wanted to return in the same way, but in my head we were building something, off course I was waiting something back for my surrender but I wasn't being considered.
However, she broke up with me very abruptly under no explanation. She wasn't reasonable about the reason for our break.
Actually for me, initially, it wasn't too serious because she had already done the same thing twice before, putting the ex between us, every time she was giving herself to me sentimentally in a way she had never ever done before, it was evident that she was … losing her emotional control … she would simulate something to hurt me and regain control over me, and control over herself, but with that she took actions without tact and coherence in my seeing. Soo, once again I thought she wanted to draw attention dramatically.
This was at the end of May, I agreed to change into a friendship, but this time it was different and she intensified hurt me purposely. I don't understand drama, I did everything to keep the peace, but she doesn't know how to talk, she doesn't know to expose to feel uncomfortable with any situation, she doesn't expose her feelings easy, so I never knew what was happening, for me everything was fine , but I think that we didn't see eye to eye. ... After that, through a song she expressed herself as a jealous person (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjovBmE2iZA), I was surprised because she never showed it before... but she exposed this too much later, I tried to have honest openness in that relationship, but the only honest situations were these impulsive actions to hurt me.
Yet she implied that she took advantage of my generosity and companionship. And when I confronted her about it, she felt insulted and out of nowhere cut off all contacts with me without any explanation, without any emotional maturity.
In previous times I went after her to make up, this time I wasn't and I will not, I'm determined, but I confess that I have hopes that she comes to me and that brings some improvement or positive change in the situation.
I know we have this deep connection to each other and I know she will need me, I have every sense and intuition that this subject will come back to me, but as the pain has been too deep for me, it scares me back to this situation at the same time that I want to have compassion.
I understand that in my development I need to let go and detach from finalizations, I know that my feelings for her have already changed a lot and I believe they will change even more. I'm really trying to have patience ... very difficult ... and this is a challenge for me and I'm trying to focus my full attention on myself and my work. But it is very difficult for me to deal with it and let this subject set me free in my mind, so I am asking this question to have a clearer picture of the situation and try to have some peace for my mind.
To believe that a narcissist is going to change is the same thing as believing a drug addict is going to change ?!
Is it really that we have some possibility of having free will for this type of situation ?!
Because sometimes I don't think we have ... I'm actually afraid of meeting people who are worse ... Throughout my life this kind of relationship has been repetitive in some way ... maybe I need to change myself to attract better people? !
The question is ... Will we have a possibility of reconciliation ?!
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