Toxic relationships with other women

Women are always being ridiculously catty and passive-agressive towards me, even complete strangers. Is there anything in my chart that points to this? I haven't had any female friends for years. It's that bad.

You have Chiron on the ASC, so you highly identify with the ego/soul body - and when it gets hurt, it is readily apparent to others. It is in Cancer, ruled by the Moon and the most prominent manifestation of the feminine, and the Moon is square Mercury in a fire sign - you don't verbalize your feelings well, and being easily hurt, this likely comes out in negative ways. The Moon is trine Neptune, so you not only can feel other people's reaction to you, but likely react to it before they even have a chance to rationalize it themselves. You are hurt and mentally analyzing an emotional situation before the other person even realizes what is going on. With Venus and Saturn conjunct in the 7th house of relationships, you further have problems handling feminine energy with Venus in a poor sign (Aquarius) and conjunct limiting Saturn. I think people can sense all this going on, and with women who are typically more sensitive and emotional than men, don't react well to it and quickly move on.

Hi. I tink that when these kinds of patterns develop, there are a number of ways in which the potentials shown in the chart can manifest. One is that you may be mysteriously drawn to a certain kind of woman. Another is that a certain kind of woman may be drawn to you. Thirdly, you may somehow draw a particular response from women who may not be so catty with other people, if at all. And finally, there is the possibility that your perception adds to the issue - i.e. a tendency to exaggerate the intensity of these responses from women, and also you may tend to remember those instances where the pattern is proven more keenly than those instances where it is dis-proven. Any or all of these mechanisms could be relevant to your experience of this pattern. And its a bit of a cliche, but you should definitely reflect on your relationship with your mother to see if the pattern has its roots there.

As for the astrology, your chart shows a close Moon Pluto aspect, with Moon in Virgo in the 4th house. There is a sense here that deep down you feel under threat from your perceived lack of inner integration, and that consequently, on some level, you are prone to intense self-criticism and self-scrutiny. This could make you a target for others who also feel self-critical, but who would rather focus on your short-falls than deal with their issues. It could also mean that, at times, you can be 'catty' or critical of others, without realising that you are doing this. The Moon Mercury square could also be very significant, with Mercury in the 6th house and in outspoken Sagittarius.

With Chiron rising and Sun conjunct Neptune, you may have to work reversing a tendency to see yourself as a victim. Any such tendency could make you an easier - and in some way, a more willing - target for the kinds of people mentioned in the previous paragraph. Also, the people who are catty to you may also experience themselves as powerless and so disempower you to compensate for this.

As mentioned above, you may remind people of their self-critical tendencies and sense of helplessness more than other people remind them of it. People born around the same time as you have their Chiron on your ascendant, and your Sun on their Neptune, so at school/college, where you were/are surrounded by people of your own age, the dynamics I'm suggesting may come up a lot.

With Saturn on the descendant conjunct Venus, there is a sense that your defensiveness comes out more when you are hoping to find a sense of harmony and shared understanding with others. Saturn expects to be thrown back on its own resources all the time, and responds with staunch self-sufficiency. With Cancer rising you naturally meet life as a feeling individual who needs to find protection against life's hurts. With Chiron rising there is a sense that you expect life to be unfair to you, and that this is out of your control, but the Capricorn descendant (especially with Saturn there) reminds you that you can become more self-sufficient.

The chart suggests that it may be especially difficult for you to find a healthy balance between your sensitive side and your self-sufficient side. There could be a quite extreme polarisation going on within you which causes the self-sufficient and self-scrutinising part of you to be, in part at least, projected onto others, who then behave in extreme ways to throw you back on your own resources.

At times you may feel critical of those who seem needy and helpless, as you flip to the other side of the polarisation. And you may generally give off more 'stay away, I'm self-sufficient' signals than you realise.

In short, it might be an idea for you to try to get in touch with the two sides of your horizon axis, noticing what each needs and how each side feels threatened by the other. Perhaps find someone who you can safely express your sensitivity to, and also be honest about any criticism you experience towards those who display a similar sensitivity. Ultimately there is tremendous potential for you to be sensitive to others in a way which encourages their self-sufficiency, and perhaps you do experience this at times already. But to fully realise this gift, it sounds like you have work to do to turn around a quite deeply-ingrained tension within you.

I hope this helps. Feel free to ask if anything isn't clear that you feel might be useful if clarified.