I obviously haven't looked up the natal charts of everyone I know, for many people even if I know their year, place, and date of birth I don't know their time of birth. This may not be the first time I've come across someone with a Moon-Uranus conjunction / hard aspect, but it's certainly the first time I've become aware of it.
I'm currently in York, UK doing a CELTA teacher training course. In my group of trainees there's a girl who happens to be from a city very close to my hometown (me Chongqing, she Chengdu). What's slightly interesting is how she identifies as Sichuanese but both of her parents are technically northerners who grew up in Sichuan and lost touch with their northern roots (mom Henan, dad Xi'An). I guess that can explain upheaval in a sense, because the Moon represents family and roots. Of course I may be wrong because I don't know the exact circumstances of why her grandparents on both sides migrated to Chengdu.
She's a little under 3 years older than me, with her birthday being September 24th, 1993. I don't know her exact time of birth but from what I've checked, the Moon was in Capricorn for the whole day. Her Uranus and Neptune are at 18.14 and 18.24 degrees Capricorn, respectively, giving them an extremely tight conjunction but that's another matter. If I remember correctly by 12:00 AM on September 25th, 1993, the Moon was at 24-25 degrees Capricorn so no matter what time of the day she was born, her Capricorn Moon would stand in opposition to her Uranus and Neptune. Her Sun has just crossed over from Virgo to Libra, her Mercury's at 19-20 degrees Libra, Venus at 2-3 degrees Virgo and Mars at 28-29 degrees Libra.
Now I've had a crush on this girl even thought she told me she has a boyfriend. I can't explain why I feel this way, she's a bit tomboyish with short hair and she's not the prettiest, but there's an inexplicable vibe about her that draws me. She does have Venus Sextile Mars, and I've noticed people with Venus-Mars aspects tend to have a magnetic force that draws people toward them even if they're not the best looking (but from my experience very few Venus-Mars people can be considered 'ugly' or downright unattractive looks-wise).
She's a lot more traveled than me, and it seems that we do share some interests such as history and nature. However, emotionally we're completely different creatures. While her Moon's in hard aspect to Uranus and Neptune, making her a person who's a lot more 'out there', here are my Moon aspects:
Moon in 2nd house in Aquarius
Moon Trine Venus
Moon Trine Mars
Moon Sextile Ascendant (Trine Descendant)
As you can see, I believe our Moons reflect very different emotional natures. While her emotional nature is a lot more detached and free-spirited, my Moon nature is a lot more close and personal despite the Moon being in a sign like Aquarius. I've read descriptions of Aquarius moon being aloof and detached with a humanitarian spirit, I don't see that in myself at all. I'd like to imagine myself as humanitarian and I can be very philosophical, but since "humanitarian" is defined as "concerned with or seeking to promote human welfare", in my actions and the way I live my life I'm much more driven by a personal desire, even guilt, to be good and kind rather than any broad-reaching humanitarian / charitable principle. My Sun in Cancer makes me personal and introverted. This girl is quite different. She has done volunteer work before, and I find that she seems to have an easier time getting along with people than I do.
I was initially attracted to what seemed to be her warmth and kindness, but after getting to know her more I've realized an aspect like Moon-Uranus makes her operate completely differently on the inside. I tend to show affection and a desire to bond with someone by taking care of them, sticking with them by their side and following them wherever they go. I like to build an emotional bond along with an intellectual one, but if you asked me what kind of bond I think is truly the key to assessing compatibility, I would go for emotional over intellectual any day.
My instinct goes: If I want to take care of someone, and I try to do things for them, they'll be touched by it and grow closer to me. I like hugging, I like physical contact and view it as an integral part of liking / being in love.
Her instinct goes: I am not used to someone compromising my personal space. The key to longevity in any kind of relationship is emotional and physical space. Constantly having things done for me makes me very uncomfortable. Being touched all the time, even by someone like my boyfriend, violates my personal space.
When we do prep for mock teaching sessions, I'm starting to notice that she often prefers to work in a room on her own. Sometimes I go and check on her to see if she's alright, or I may go in and ask her if she wants to eat, drink something, or if she needs help with English (her English isn't as good as mine) or just about anything. She responds through her overall demeanor in a way that basically tells me to **** off. She told me when she's really thinking about something she can ignore anyone that talks to her. On the other hand, when I'm thinking about something and someone talks to me, my instinct is to put down whatever I am doing and respond to the other person first.
This past weekend she went to Manchester on her own to see a friend, but her parents and her sister tend to worry about her when she's going all over the place on her own. She blocked everyone from seeing her status updates on WeChat (the Chinese equivalent of Facebook Messenger), including me, but I thought I was the only one she had tried to block because I thought she wanted to avoid me. That night, I wrote a fairly long and emotional letter to her confessing my feelings to her, I told her how sad I felt but I also let her know how beautiful I think she is.
My instinct: She'll be moved by this letter, possibly even moved to tears. It would cause a stir in her tomorrow and maybe for a while.
The next day, I go out and buy an envelope, while adding a bit to the letter to make it more emotional. I didn't want to just give it to her, so I sealed it and put it in her backpack. I told her I gave her something little, but asked that she not open it until she gets home. Her roommate, a girl from Guizhou, is on vacation in Spain, so she's alone. I really wanted to make sure she's alone. Before class finished for the day, she looked in her backpack and found the sealed letter (she didn't open it), and thought I was overly sentimental and secretive. It was on Monday.
We left the training center, and I wanted to walk with her to the road near the train station (she walks home) like I had been doing for the past two weeks. I would deliberately tell her I didn't know which way I was going, but what I really wanted to do was to spend a bit more time with her. That day (Monday), was different. She finally told me how strange and awkward she felt, that she'd feel the same way even if it were her boyfriend doing everything I was doing for her. She told me she didn't want to upset me, that she respects my way of doing things, but that she also wants me to respect her need for distance. I didn't feel that hurt at the time, because I had hope that she'd know far more about me and the way I am once she read my letter.
A few hours later, she had finished reading my letter.
My expectations: She'd be totally moved and touched by it, she'd either write a very long and emotional response to it, or she'd be at loss for words.
The reality: She simply said thank you, and said that she's happy to know a friend like me.
I said I couldn't hold back those feelings anymore, but I regret writing those things because I was afraid it would make her angry. She wasn't angry at all, the letter had little to no impact on her. Today in class she acted as if nothing happened, she talked to me as usual, though by now I'm really noticing her aloofness. It's going to be a bit awkward from now on, but I am reassessing my own feelings as well: What made me so attracted to her? Would she, or a girl like her, be good for me as a life companion (probably not)?
She told me she's lived independently since middle school, she lived away from her parents. She's used to thinking and doing things her own way and doesn't like it when people always try to take care of her, because it makes her feel suffocated.
My expectations: That's what a girl might say, but deep down I believe she's sensitive as long as I take the time to get her to open up. There's no such thing as a girl who truly has a hardened heart, no matter what she appears to be and what she says.
The reality: There really are girls who mean what they say when it comes to these things, and they'll let you know it.
I read on the Linda Goodman forum that being 'Aquarian' and being 'Uranian' are very different things. Being Aquarian might make one have inclinations towards certain philosophies, but you may or may not have full Uranus energy. I'm not sure about our composite charts and I don't know her time of birth, but in a synastry chart my Sun would be opposite both her Uranus and Neptune. Her view of relationships poses a direct challenge to mine. For her, it's about distance and having her needs met. For me, it's about closing the distance, acting in servitude, and wanting certainty about the other person even if I can be unsure about how to express parts of myself. She told me she can talk to her boyfriend on the phone for 2-3 hours at a time, but I assume their conversations take on a very different nature than the conversations I have with someone I'm close to. I imagine that their conversations, no matter the length, always have a bit of emotional detachment to them, while my conversations with someone I'm close to go A LOT into raw feelings.
My Venus is Opposite my ASC, which means it's conjunct my DSC. Same goes for my Mars. My Moon is Sextile my Ascendant, and therefore Trine my Descendant. I also have Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter squaring Saturn and my Venus sextile Saturn (she has the opposition). None of my core personal planets (S, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) form any aspects with Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto. Sun and Mercury in 7th house, Venus in 6th house, are all placements related to "others" and "being of service to others."
I'll leave Moon-Neptune and her Mercury-Uranus / Mercury-Neptune for another day, but this experience has made realize how I should be very wary of being romantically involved with people with close personal planets forming hard aspects to the U, N, and P unless there are many mitigating factors in their chart. Even as friends, I would not be able to understand, accept, or harness the energy of those people because my own chart's so "close and personal" by comparison.
I had dinner with her twice, the first time she told me she'd like to live in a place for 5-10 years, then move to a new place. Having a crush on her, I tried to convince myself I can live a life like that. However, deep down I know that's not what I want as a Cancer.