to those with moon conjunct uranus

serpent

Active member
Hello!

My partner has moon conjunct uranus and I was wondering how people with this placement are with monogamous relationships.

I have a scorpio venus and so you can imagine what I'm like in relationships. I give my all, I've sacrificed a lot for this relationship. I've worked so hard to make him happy.

When he's with me, he's so loving and nurturing. But when he's away (we're in long distance), he's so detached. He prioritises his friends over me all the time.

I could buy him a gift and be so excited to give it to him, and it'd take him days to open it. And it makes me wonder if he's even excited to get a gift from me.

He tells me I'm his everything but acts so detached. He wants me but he also wants complete freedom.

But when, occasionally, I do what he does - he gets emotional about it. What?

(He also has moon conjunct neptune but the uranus aspect is tighter).
 

Lin

Well-known member
WEll,how the heck do you DEFINE this odd relationship??

Where do you fantasize this is going?? You're doing a LOT of work with very little return.

And what makes YOU sacrifice when he isn't? What makes HIM so special?

Frankly, I would like to see your chart - along with some honest answers to these obvious questions.
LIN
 

Neptunian Rainbow

Well-known member
Unfortunately I don´t think that we can see how committed and giving a person is by looking at a chart. Each planet can be expressed in different ways depending on how evolved we are.

I have an exact Moon –Uranus opposition. I see myself as the most monogamous person I have ever met. I never feel any type of interest in any other man when I am in a relationship and I would never have a ONS. If the relationship feels good, my partner is the only man in the world that I want. If the relationship is bad I feel suffocated by men in general. Btw my moon happens to be at the exact same degree as Eddie Redmayne´s moon and we share four identical aspects to the Moon.He also has Moon opposite Uranus. He seems to be committed to his wife :love:

Perhaps your boyfriend is not a telephone person? I personally wouldn’t mind dating someone that is busy as long as I know that he is mine. I recommend you to read about the 5 love languages. We all feel loved by different things. Gifts don’t seem to be his love language. It does seem rude that he waits for days until he opens your gifts, but we all value different things and no one is perfect.

If you want to do a lot for him, it is important that you find out what HE values and what HE wants and needs. If you give him what you would like to receive you cannot expect him to feel grateful. If you are not satisfied with how he treats YOU, you need to explain to him how you want to be treated. If he cannot give that to you, you two may not be compatible. Love is not enough, compatibility is needed.

I´ll tell you a story about when I dated a man that was not compatible with me. The man I dated has Venus/Sun square Pluto and Venus/Sun exactly conjunct my SN. He texted me all the time, he wanted to see me every day, he wanted me to move in with him right from the start, he made me the type of dinners I like, he was incredibly generous, he touched me all the time when we were together, he called me more than I called him and he did me a lot of favors and would have done almost anything for me. Actually more than anyone has been willing to do for me.

If I told him that I was really tired after work and that I had to go home and just lay in my bed, he felt rejected and lonely. I also said that I wanted to see my friends at least once a week and that made him feel rejected and lonely.

I have Neptune on the ascendant aspecting almost everything in my chart. I am quite skilled at sensing what other people want and I can sense when they feel that I don´t give them enough and when they feel hurt by me. When he looked at me with sad puppy eyes and felt heartbroken by my need for space, his pain felt like a stab in my heart. That made me want to withdraw from him in order to not feel like a cold and hurtful person. Me withdrawing caused him even more pain. I give a lot of my energy to other people so I have to have time on my own in order to recharge. I also need to cleanse myself from all of the energies I absorb all of the time. I would go insane if I would have to be around other people all the time.

The man I dated did not understand this. I tried to explain. I felt that he bulldozed over my boundaries when he grabbed me even if I said no. He felt that a no means that he is not loved and every no crushed his heart.

I told him that my number 1 priority in a relationship is to have my boundaries respected. If I am not allowed to say that I want to see my friends or rest or if I cannot reject him physically if I feel like it, I never want to say yes to anything. Boundaries have to do with what I want vs what someone else wants. My boundaries have been seriously invaded during my childhood. I had to follow other people´s wants and needs all the time when I grew up, I felt that I didn´t get to exist. So it is very important for me that the people that are in my life allow me to decide what I will or won´t do and that they don´t get hurt and see me as bad when I do things that I see as normal and ok. Things like for example resting or having dinner with a female friend. The plutonian man is an “all or nothing” and “my way or the highway” type of man. He does not accept boundaries. He wants someone to merge with him on HIS terms.

From the outside it may seem like he did A LOT for me and that I was cold towards him. But if we look at it from an energetical viewpoint, he hungered for me and felt good and nurtured by being in my presence while I felt mainly invaded, controlled and drained.

On an intellectual level I get that people will feel pain in relationships since we all have wounds that are activated when we have feelings for someone. But it is difficult for me to deal with feeling as if I cause someone pain. I am aware of the fact that I may leave a relationship too soon because I get overwhelmed when I feel that someone is hurt/irritated because of me.

I can feel hurt if a man seems to be very into me and then seems detached, just like you and most people do. But I wait and I observe him. I know that I too can be busy or tired or need space and that it doesn´t have to mean that I don´t have genuine feelings. I always withdraw if it seems to me that someone feels suffocated by me. It may be that I misinterpret men´s emotions. I dated a man with Venus in Scorpio that told me that when he acted really irritated and said cruel things, it meant that he wanted me to come closer to him and validate him. When he behaved like that I went home because I thought that he needed space. When I feel invaded I act irritated and push people away and that´s why I interpret other people in that way. The Venus Scorpio guy felt very hurt when I left. Anyways I must say that I think that it´s quite a demand to make of someone to tell them that they should come closer when you are being cruel and irritated. You are pushing the person away from you and it will be painful for that person to come closer to you when you are in that state. It is the type of demand that children does of their main caregivers.

If someone acts detached towards me because he tries to seek revenge because he feels hurt by me, I also find him to be immature. I would never ever do anything with the purpose of causing someone pain. I feel incredibly hurt when I notice that someone is consciously trying to cause me pain or when they seem to try to seek revenge in any way. For me my emotions and other people´s emotions get mixed within my system so my goal is always to try to find the best solution for everyone involved. It´s in my best interest since other people´s pain is my pain.

I hope that something that I have written here will be of value for you and help you to understand your boyfriend better. I wish you the best of luck!
 

greybeard

Well-known member
Moon-Uranus contacts are not, in general, good for home life. The person longs for the security, warmth and love of a partner and family, but when he gets them feels cramped, trapped, and overwhelmed by responsibility. He must then detach and recover his lost freedom.

You described this at the end of the original post.

Lin asked the pertinent question. People do not change. Is this the type of relationship you want?

One of the keywords for Uranus is "detached". Moon is "emotions, feelings": contacts between the two planets give "emotional detachment". Another keyword for Uranus is "erratic".
 
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Lin

Well-known member
To this:"Unfortunately I don´t think that we can see how committed and giving a person is by looking at a chart. Each planet can be expressed in different ways depending on how evolved we are. "

UH....hello.....that is what an astrologer DOES. READS the chart and is able to assess things like generosity, being partner oriented, being compassionate or not, being ambitious or not, being realistic or not, having addictions or not, coming from a dysfunctional family or not.....and on and on ................................................
So just because YOU can't read a chart in detail doesn't mean it can't be done.
Astrologers do it every day.
LIN
 

Neptunian Rainbow

Well-known member
To Lin: My personal belief is that we cannot be absolutely certain about how evolved a person is and how compatible we are with someone by looking at charts. I believe that astrology gives us a greater understanding about ourselves and our relationships and I believe that many people in this forum can derive A LOT more information from astrology than I can. But I believe that life is supposed to be a mystery, filled with uncertainty. We have a free will and we constantly make choices without being able to know for certain if the decisions we make are the “best” ones. We learn from trial and error and from all of our experiences and we evolve immensely in that process. I would personally not break up with someone just because a stranger on an astrology forum says that I should, but I totally respect people who choose to do so. If some people believe that they have turned into all knowing God’s because they are skilled astrologers, I respect that as well. Lot’s of people crave to be told what to do since life is so extremely confusing for many of us. Therefore dogmatic people are appreciated and needed in the world.

Another thing I believe in is kindness and compassion. I try to express my thoughts and beliefs in gentle ways and I am only harsh towards other people if it is necessary. On a forum like this one, I don’t see any need to be rude. I do not care about the fact that strangers on an internet forum think differently from me.

My beliefs about astrology and life in general may be wrong, but we are all entitled to have our own opinions and beliefs.
 

BaoSanniang

Well-known member
I obviously haven't looked up the natal charts of everyone I know, for many people even if I know their year, place, and date of birth I don't know their time of birth. This may not be the first time I've come across someone with a Moon-Uranus conjunction / hard aspect, but it's certainly the first time I've become aware of it.

I'm currently in York, UK doing a CELTA teacher training course. In my group of trainees there's a girl who happens to be from a city very close to my hometown (me Chongqing, she Chengdu). What's slightly interesting is how she identifies as Sichuanese but both of her parents are technically northerners who grew up in Sichuan and lost touch with their northern roots (mom Henan, dad Xi'An). I guess that can explain upheaval in a sense, because the Moon represents family and roots. Of course I may be wrong because I don't know the exact circumstances of why her grandparents on both sides migrated to Chengdu.

She's a little under 3 years older than me, with her birthday being September 24th, 1993. I don't know her exact time of birth but from what I've checked, the Moon was in Capricorn for the whole day. Her Uranus and Neptune are at 18.14 and 18.24 degrees Capricorn, respectively, giving them an extremely tight conjunction but that's another matter. If I remember correctly by 12:00 AM on September 25th, 1993, the Moon was at 24-25 degrees Capricorn so no matter what time of the day she was born, her Capricorn Moon would stand in opposition to her Uranus and Neptune. Her Sun has just crossed over from Virgo to Libra, her Mercury's at 19-20 degrees Libra, Venus at 2-3 degrees Virgo and Mars at 28-29 degrees Libra.

Now I've had a crush on this girl even thought she told me she has a boyfriend. I can't explain why I feel this way, she's a bit tomboyish with short hair and she's not the prettiest, but there's an inexplicable vibe about her that draws me. She does have Venus Sextile Mars, and I've noticed people with Venus-Mars aspects tend to have a magnetic force that draws people toward them even if they're not the best looking (but from my experience very few Venus-Mars people can be considered 'ugly' or downright unattractive looks-wise).

She's a lot more traveled than me, and it seems that we do share some interests such as history and nature. However, emotionally we're completely different creatures. While her Moon's in hard aspect to Uranus and Neptune, making her a person who's a lot more 'out there', here are my Moon aspects:

Moon in 2nd house in Aquarius
Moon Trine Venus
Moon Trine Mars
Moon Sextile Ascendant (Trine Descendant)

As you can see, I believe our Moons reflect very different emotional natures. While her emotional nature is a lot more detached and free-spirited, my Moon nature is a lot more close and personal despite the Moon being in a sign like Aquarius. I've read descriptions of Aquarius moon being aloof and detached with a humanitarian spirit, I don't see that in myself at all. I'd like to imagine myself as humanitarian and I can be very philosophical, but since "humanitarian" is defined as "concerned with or seeking to promote human welfare", in my actions and the way I live my life I'm much more driven by a personal desire, even guilt, to be good and kind rather than any broad-reaching humanitarian / charitable principle. My Sun in Cancer makes me personal and introverted. This girl is quite different. She has done volunteer work before, and I find that she seems to have an easier time getting along with people than I do.

I was initially attracted to what seemed to be her warmth and kindness, but after getting to know her more I've realized an aspect like Moon-Uranus makes her operate completely differently on the inside. I tend to show affection and a desire to bond with someone by taking care of them, sticking with them by their side and following them wherever they go. I like to build an emotional bond along with an intellectual one, but if you asked me what kind of bond I think is truly the key to assessing compatibility, I would go for emotional over intellectual any day.

My instinct goes: If I want to take care of someone, and I try to do things for them, they'll be touched by it and grow closer to me. I like hugging, I like physical contact and view it as an integral part of liking / being in love.

Her instinct goes: I am not used to someone compromising my personal space. The key to longevity in any kind of relationship is emotional and physical space. Constantly having things done for me makes me very uncomfortable. Being touched all the time, even by someone like my boyfriend, violates my personal space.


When we do prep for mock teaching sessions, I'm starting to notice that she often prefers to work in a room on her own. Sometimes I go and check on her to see if she's alright, or I may go in and ask her if she wants to eat, drink something, or if she needs help with English (her English isn't as good as mine) or just about anything. She responds through her overall demeanor in a way that basically tells me to **** off. She told me when she's really thinking about something she can ignore anyone that talks to her. On the other hand, when I'm thinking about something and someone talks to me, my instinct is to put down whatever I am doing and respond to the other person first.

This past weekend she went to Manchester on her own to see a friend, but her parents and her sister tend to worry about her when she's going all over the place on her own. She blocked everyone from seeing her status updates on WeChat (the Chinese equivalent of Facebook Messenger), including me, but I thought I was the only one she had tried to block because I thought she wanted to avoid me. That night, I wrote a fairly long and emotional letter to her confessing my feelings to her, I told her how sad I felt but I also let her know how beautiful I think she is.

My instinct: She'll be moved by this letter, possibly even moved to tears. It would cause a stir in her tomorrow and maybe for a while.

The next day, I go out and buy an envelope, while adding a bit to the letter to make it more emotional. I didn't want to just give it to her, so I sealed it and put it in her backpack. I told her I gave her something little, but asked that she not open it until she gets home. Her roommate, a girl from Guizhou, is on vacation in Spain, so she's alone. I really wanted to make sure she's alone. Before class finished for the day, she looked in her backpack and found the sealed letter (she didn't open it), and thought I was overly sentimental and secretive. It was on Monday.

We left the training center, and I wanted to walk with her to the road near the train station (she walks home) like I had been doing for the past two weeks. I would deliberately tell her I didn't know which way I was going, but what I really wanted to do was to spend a bit more time with her. That day (Monday), was different. She finally told me how strange and awkward she felt, that she'd feel the same way even if it were her boyfriend doing everything I was doing for her. She told me she didn't want to upset me, that she respects my way of doing things, but that she also wants me to respect her need for distance. I didn't feel that hurt at the time, because I had hope that she'd know far more about me and the way I am once she read my letter.


A few hours later, she had finished reading my letter.

My expectations: She'd be totally moved and touched by it, she'd either write a very long and emotional response to it, or she'd be at loss for words.

The reality: She simply said thank you, and said that she's happy to know a friend like me.

I said I couldn't hold back those feelings anymore, but I regret writing those things because I was afraid it would make her angry. She wasn't angry at all, the letter had little to no impact on her. Today in class she acted as if nothing happened, she talked to me as usual, though by now I'm really noticing her aloofness. It's going to be a bit awkward from now on, but I am reassessing my own feelings as well: What made me so attracted to her? Would she, or a girl like her, be good for me as a life companion (probably not)?


She told me she's lived independently since middle school, she lived away from her parents. She's used to thinking and doing things her own way and doesn't like it when people always try to take care of her, because it makes her feel suffocated.

My expectations: That's what a girl might say, but deep down I believe she's sensitive as long as I take the time to get her to open up. There's no such thing as a girl who truly has a hardened heart, no matter what she appears to be and what she says.


The reality: There really are girls who mean what they say when it comes to these things, and they'll let you know it.


I read on the Linda Goodman forum that being 'Aquarian' and being 'Uranian' are very different things. Being Aquarian might make one have inclinations towards certain philosophies, but you may or may not have full Uranus energy. I'm not sure about our composite charts and I don't know her time of birth, but in a synastry chart my Sun would be opposite both her Uranus and Neptune. Her view of relationships poses a direct challenge to mine. For her, it's about distance and having her needs met. For me, it's about closing the distance, acting in servitude, and wanting certainty about the other person even if I can be unsure about how to express parts of myself. She told me she can talk to her boyfriend on the phone for 2-3 hours at a time, but I assume their conversations take on a very different nature than the conversations I have with someone I'm close to. I imagine that their conversations, no matter the length, always have a bit of emotional detachment to them, while my conversations with someone I'm close to go A LOT into raw feelings.

My Venus is Opposite my ASC, which means it's conjunct my DSC. Same goes for my Mars. My Moon is Sextile my Ascendant, and therefore Trine my Descendant. I also have Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter squaring Saturn and my Venus sextile Saturn (she has the opposition). None of my core personal planets (S, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) form any aspects with Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto. Sun and Mercury in 7th house, Venus in 6th house, are all placements related to "others" and "being of service to others."

I'll leave Moon-Neptune and her Mercury-Uranus / Mercury-Neptune for another day, but this experience has made realize how I should be very wary of being romantically involved with people with close personal planets forming hard aspects to the U, N, and P unless there are many mitigating factors in their chart. Even as friends, I would not be able to understand, accept, or harness the energy of those people because my own chart's so "close and personal" by comparison.

I had dinner with her twice, the first time she told me she'd like to live in a place for 5-10 years, then move to a new place. Having a crush on her, I tried to convince myself I can live a life like that. However, deep down I know that's not what I want as a Cancer.
 
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SunConjunctUranus

Well-known member
I agree with Lin, just drop him. He seems does not committed to you. I can relate to this person too but we can't see a person's traits by just one or few aspect, so it would be better to his chart.
 
Hello!

My partner has moon conjunct uranus and I was wondering how people with this placement are with monogamous relationships.

I have a scorpio venus and so you can imagine what I'm like in relationships. I give my all, I've sacrificed a lot for this relationship. I've worked so hard to make him happy.

When he's with me, he's so loving and nurturing. But when he's away (we're in long distance), he's so detached. He prioritises his friends over me all the time.

I could buy him a gift and be so excited to give it to him, and it'd take him days to open it. And it makes me wonder if he's even excited to get a gift from me.

He tells me I'm his everything but acts so detached. He wants me but he also wants complete freedom.

But when, occasionally, I do what he does - he gets emotional about it. What?

(He also has moon conjunct neptune but the uranus aspect is tighter).


I have moon conjuct uranus in First house Sagittarius.I have been married for 9 years and my wife tells me the same thing. But unfortunately I just don't understand her. I can tell her I love her and buy her buetiful things, I work extremely hard to raise our family and give her what she needs. But she says I'm have no emotions
And my sun is in cancer? But check out his mother relationship. Moon = mother. My mother was nuts when I was a kid always running away. Sometimes taking me and my brothers with her. But it made detach from anything I love. Because I know it will run away run day. At least my subconscious thinks that. Try talking to him about his mom.
 

Evex11

Active member
Ohh My With My Boyfriend and me He has A Scorpio moon Conjunct Uranus In Saggittarius But It's out of Bounds. When He's in my Presence He's very In the Moment with What we're doing Together But Like others have Commented When He's With His Friends He tends to stay Glued Down By His Friends but that Also Has to Do with His Venus Conjunct NN In the 11th House But It's totally Emphasizing His Life Purpose in that he should Make and Have Friends which I dont Mind Since I am Uranus and Jupiter Dominant...But I Definitely Am Lonely Alot with My Venus and Sun in the 8th Not getting Much One on One at all.
 

Lin

Well-known member
We are all entitled to our points of view.

HOwever: the bottom line is this: when you read for a client are you accurate or not?

If you are, then your theories and points of view are correct (for you.)

If you are NOT accurate then you're on the wrong track and must adjust your knowledge do that you are not giving wrong advice.
LIN
 

Lin

Well-known member
Greybeard,
Thanks for the "vote" of confidence. Unfortunately I am WAY too honest and truthful to run for president. Rather I would "run away" from THAT job.
:whistling:
LIN
PS: we still need to see the chart.
 
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twicecolored

New member
I have moon conjunct Uranus in first house (both are cj my sag asc too). I’ve been with my Leo sun/cap rising/sag moon boyfriend for 4 years now I think only because he *also* has moon conjunct Uranus and our moons/uranuses are all conjunct one another (we were born less than a month apart so have a lot of other similarities).

However, we do have things that draw us together. His Venus in Gemini and my Gemini descendant for example (and my Venus on his descendant and conjunct his mars). And both have mars/merc in Leo....

But I do think having a shared moon makes up for a lot of the distance we have and crave, as it has us being pretty telepathic and like-souled and liking to do similar activities together. We’ve described one another as two single people who happen to be in a relationship, and aren’t afraid to talk about our longings and need for alone time and total freedom. Ironically it keeps us both faithful and steady, because we have such innate understanding... and I sometimes become afraid that I’ll never find another person who is as much of a heartfelt weirdo as I am. The unusual familiarity generally compels me to stay.

I do get itchy feet and go through regular doubts and wanting to run away etc. But I’ve learned that the cramped feeling is more to do with my inner self getting stale and needing a change than my relationship necessarily being stale. Plus my bf says “if you need true extended time by yourself I can give you that” which melts my heart and gives me reassurance and even more sense of emotional security! Lol.

Moon conjunct Uranus is always weird in that “allowing them their freedom” reads as “security” and they can then trust you better. I really love those who give me it and am very loyal and giving to friends and lovers who know this about me. They are always happy to see me when I re-emerge and never hold my alone time over my head like I’m punishing them. The worst thing to do is smother, scold or demand more out of me because I’ll just shut you out. But I really need to “go dark” for a day to a week and have the reassurance people will still be friends with me after those occasions.

It’s like dating or befriending a wild horse really (having sag asc and moon compounds it all the more).

Obviously that kind of dynamic isn’t for everyone. But it can definitely work, more with both parties knowing what they have to work on contributing. I’ve only ever had long term relationships actually. And have a really hard time with casual dating. I like my friends to be solid, independent, fun, and dependable. Possibly because I have Venus in cancer which is slower to rush into things and is protective and wants to be emotional and tied to others.

My ex I was with for 3 years. Scorpio sun, Libra moon. He was more masochistic for staying with me but did need his alone time as well. But we didn’t have enough emotional exchange which killed it. And he was too serious. There wasn’t nearly as much charge or curiosity/excitement to draw one another back together after being “offline”. Whereas my bf now we are much better at having regular chats and chances for expression and goofing off (being total idiots together). Way better balanced.

So yeah. Really truly depends on both partner’s needs.

I wouldn’t write off all moon cj Uranus people as being impossible to have a relationship with. It’s not all about having cold emotions either. It’s a blend of heart and head. They rule together but can be highly flavoured by moon type. My bf is really sensitive and has deep feelings and talks about them a lot but is also logical and doesn’t get super caught up in emotions to an excessive degree. Like a beautiful blend of all the emotions of an artist with the curiosity and objectivity of a scientist.

I don’t mind not hearing from him for like a day (we do live in the same house which makes it a bit amusing) or if he goes out with friends etc. because it means I get time to myself. Generally that’s how my friendships work too. I truly don’t care if you have other friends or do a lot of things on your own and I don’t hear from you at all for like a week as long as we can hang out on the weekend or have a fun lunch sometime and you can commit to an in depth get together etc.

It’s kind of weird, the “focus on what or who is in front of them” mentality because it is very much like that. It’s not like my bf forgets about me or I forget about him or people. It just could seem that way.

I empathise though if you’re one who needs far different reassurances in a relationship. The “I love you now go away” weirdness can be a pain for some. Maybe the long distance thing isn’t a great dynamic for it because some moon cj Uranus folks seem to do better when they can flit back and forth at ease and it’s not as much of a strain on their partner.

(Sorry for the length).
 
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