, i lack motivation, enthusiasm and desires. I thought it was this Neptune -
you are correct.the south node has been transited your Neptune on april 5th. the node went into 1 degree orb on march 23 and left I degree orb on april15th. the affect of the south node on Neptune us exactly as you describe, loss of initiative, day dreaming . it can give insecurity feelings . but your situation is not quite so simple because Uranus is conjunct to Neptune and exactly square the node. so this weakness you portrait is recent in the last month. but when the transiting node was square to your natal node and conjunct to you Uranus, you feelings were reversed.on feb. 6-8 the node was square to your node and the south node as conjunct your Uranus. The orb started in late December 2018.This was a time great mental and emotional energy. Uranus shows your life was the opposite you feel now. This transit brings extreme astral/psychic energy into your mind so I could see many dreams and many new ideas and ambitious plans. But the south node can also overwhelm ones mental capacity so there is a possibility this time was chaotic. You might have exhibited behavior that surprised your peers and you could have acted in ways that some may have characterized you as “crazy” or eccentric in the extreme. The end of it was that either by circumstance or by lack of energy or expertise, you failed to bring your ideas to fruition
Pluto did start transiting your Neptune and became stronger into march. This is probably why you felt the dissipative energy of Neptune earlier than I would have thought. pluto adds a deeper inertia and can bring despondency also. It can bring brooding and foreboding thoughts
I think part of your mental malaise is that ,the ideas and ambitious plans you had in February have not manifested. So part of your mental inertia is a function of feeling at a lost because you did not accomplish what you planned. Potentially your ideas in feb included changing your environment or resources. And as nothing has changed that you thought would happen.. you are left unsure of what to do now .that is in feb you thought you would be in a different circumstance, but you are not.
the positive aspect is that the south node has moved off you Neptune and you will naturally regain you joy of life.
rahu
What you said can explain a lot of things.. I'm glad to know these aspects are over now.
I'll try to look more at the the Nodes transits!
Actually, Saturn is conjuncting my natal Neptune
And Neptune is conjuncting natal Saturne..
Rahu pointed out the Neptune/south node part, which I'd missed! Yes, this energy does sound very Neptune and south node, in that a transit by either can be a dissolving, washing away of something. But, I also note that this is, again, activating your Sun/Saturn opposition. I don't see transits to outer planets having such a strong personal effect unless the outer planet being transited is in aspect to a personal planet, or Sun or Moon, or an angle. (More often than not, outer planets are, so you do get some personal effects there, but that's more a ripple effect, in my opinion, than a result of a direct hit.)
But, right now you have Saturn and Neptune activating, by transit, the mutual reception you have between them in your natal chart. And this time, they're both in their own signs. I see, again, a possible conflict between creative impulses and dreams (Neptune, Pisces) and being rooted in the material world, need for routines, self discipline (Saturn, Capricorn, Virgo).
I still think bringing more challenge into your life is the answer. That would make your Mars happy, and Jupiter, too. Jupiter return, which you recently had, is a signal to recommit to what Jupiter means to you. In a general sense, learning or teaching or both is probably key. Since it's both in and ruling your second house, there might be a Jupiterian need in the way you make your living and/or keep yourself secure.
Do you practice your art professionally, or make your living at a separate job? If you have a separate job, is it coming into conflict with your art? Or, if you're making your living through your art, are you getting pushed into setting aside your creative impulses to do what your employer or client wants? Those are some possible ways these placements and transits could be playing out.