LostinPhilly
Well-known member
Hi all,
This thread is not so much about me requesting advice, but it is more for me to crystallize the status of my current life pre-Saturn Return and hopefully later on share my experience post-Saturn Return. There are not a lot of threads about people's Saturn Return experiences in relation to their specific Saturn placement in their natal chart, so I thought I'd give my two cents.
I have Saturn in the 7th house in Capricorn. Saturn is due to enter my 7th house in a few days. The tSaturn conjunct Saturn is scheduled to take place from March 2019 to December 2019. It's a good stretch to see the impact of this transit on my life.
The 7th house is the house of relationships, thus I am assuming all types of relationships will come to the forefront (friendship, business, romance, etc..). Although the transit has not started yet, I am already feeling the internal shift from a mindset perspective.
As of now, my life can be summed up as follows:
Business:
I currently work in finance in a rather toxic environment. My direct manager who happens to be my own age clearly has insecurities which she makes sure to transpose upon me. I feel as though my own confidence and assertiveness trigger these insecurities and her sole goal is to undermine me. To be fair, I feel stiffled in this position which I am overly overqualified for and this incompetent management. My job is completely boring me, the salary is way below average and I don't get along with the people who sit around me in this office. Basically, I'm ready to fully move on to something new. I no longer recognize myself in this job nor in this office. The mental disconnect has already happened.
Romance:
I've never had a proper "serious" relationship. I've just gone from one heartbreak to another. My greatest heartbreak happened in 2014 after which I vowed not to date anyone. A year later I met someone I developed feelings for. We started dating in 2016, but the relationship was so conflictual that it lasted a few months and it ended in 2017. Both men ghosted me.
I've been single ever since & have not been asked out nor been on a date since January 2017.
There is this older man that I had met through business in 2016 and who kept chasing me all throughout 2016/early 2017. Then he got together with someone (30 years younger) and completely ignored my existence until they parted ways early 2018 when he started chasing me relentlessly again. I just found out they got back together, which explains his distance in the last few weeks. The geography being the issue in this dynamic, it felt like a pipe dream. The conenction is definitely there but clearly, the logistics are not. I've never been into older men and I'm still not, but there is something about him & our conversations that really mke my head spin. This has been the case since we met although whenever a guy catches me eye, he's always in my age range. He's the exception.
I've come to believe love is probably not meant meant for me & I'm not even seeking anything at this stage. I've just given up. After years of hoping this year will be the one, I've just decided to stop getting my hopes up.
One thing I am happy about however, is that I completely cleared my energy and myself from my past romantic attachments. I don't feel attached to any of my exes or crushes (well aside from this man mentioned above since we work together). I've completely let go and feel totally indifferent towards them. I think this is a good step.
Friendships:
I've met a lot of people in the last few years, since I finished college. Some relationships stay and other go. I'm mostly fairly isolated, but I'm someone who enjoys their alone time a lot. I just wish some friendships were to sustain.
Family:
I have not spoken to my parents and 2 of my siblings in 3 years. My family was extremely toxic with a lot of abuse both physical and emotional. I had to disconnect from them for my own well-being. It is sad not to have a family to visit during the holidays or to rely on whenever you're having a tough time, but they were never supportive of me. I felt consistently undermined, any happy moment was always turned into a sad one, no love ever shown towards me thus making me extremely closed off to people in general. My relationship with them caused me a lot of anxiety and even pushed me close to suicide many times. I have forgiven the hurt, but I need to focus on myself.
Roommates:
I have two roommates which are OK. We're not friends, but they're fine. They never ever clean and I have not seen them do so in 2/3 years. I clean every sunday and they never offer to help. I want to talk about this, but this may create issues, os I just let it be. I'm just tired of having to share my space with people who are basically strangers, but I guess given how expensive the city is, there is no way to have your own apartment. I also happen to think that given the fact I'm not surrounded by a lot of people, having people present in the apartment when I come home from work avoids me from feeling a painful loneliness.
How I see the future:
This transit is already making me question my entire life. Aside from wanting a new job and perhaps move to a new location, I'm also questionning whether I want to get married and have children. This last question has been weighing a lot of my mind lately although there is no real factor in my life which requires me to be thinking about this.
Given the fact I've been a rather "serious" person in my life (finances, health, lifestyle ...) and my weak point has always been relationships (other the lack thereof), I'm guessing Saturn will mainly teach me how to commit to long-lasting relationships. Whilst writing the above points, I've noticed there is a consistent aspect which translates from all these types of relationships .. it's the inconsistency of the relationships. My relationships have been lacking a lot/non-existent because they simply do not last, never get off the ground and usually don't last long. Every single human relationship type has fizzled after a short while in one capacity or another, leaving me alone with a non-existent "human interactions" department.
No one really knows who I truly am deep down inside as I've never had the chance to develop a long-lasting relationship with anyone (friendship/romance etc..) in order for me to open up. Intimacy is not a word that has ever existed in my life. It actually has never existed. Perhaps it's stemming from an actual fear or simply a loneliness destined to take over my life, I don't know. I'm surrounded by people who do not remain in my life, thus leaving me lonely. It could be I subsconsciously pushed them away.
Anyway. I just wanted to describe my life as it is pre-transit. I'm not entirely sure what to expect with this transit. I experienced Saturn in Scorpio 2012/2015 and it was the worst experience, but it made me stronger. I was actually happy that transit happened. If I'm still alive by the end of it, I'll update.
Thank you for reading & happy new year!
This thread is not so much about me requesting advice, but it is more for me to crystallize the status of my current life pre-Saturn Return and hopefully later on share my experience post-Saturn Return. There are not a lot of threads about people's Saturn Return experiences in relation to their specific Saturn placement in their natal chart, so I thought I'd give my two cents.
I have Saturn in the 7th house in Capricorn. Saturn is due to enter my 7th house in a few days. The tSaturn conjunct Saturn is scheduled to take place from March 2019 to December 2019. It's a good stretch to see the impact of this transit on my life.
The 7th house is the house of relationships, thus I am assuming all types of relationships will come to the forefront (friendship, business, romance, etc..). Although the transit has not started yet, I am already feeling the internal shift from a mindset perspective.
As of now, my life can be summed up as follows:
Business:
I currently work in finance in a rather toxic environment. My direct manager who happens to be my own age clearly has insecurities which she makes sure to transpose upon me. I feel as though my own confidence and assertiveness trigger these insecurities and her sole goal is to undermine me. To be fair, I feel stiffled in this position which I am overly overqualified for and this incompetent management. My job is completely boring me, the salary is way below average and I don't get along with the people who sit around me in this office. Basically, I'm ready to fully move on to something new. I no longer recognize myself in this job nor in this office. The mental disconnect has already happened.
Romance:
I've never had a proper "serious" relationship. I've just gone from one heartbreak to another. My greatest heartbreak happened in 2014 after which I vowed not to date anyone. A year later I met someone I developed feelings for. We started dating in 2016, but the relationship was so conflictual that it lasted a few months and it ended in 2017. Both men ghosted me.
I've been single ever since & have not been asked out nor been on a date since January 2017.
There is this older man that I had met through business in 2016 and who kept chasing me all throughout 2016/early 2017. Then he got together with someone (30 years younger) and completely ignored my existence until they parted ways early 2018 when he started chasing me relentlessly again. I just found out they got back together, which explains his distance in the last few weeks. The geography being the issue in this dynamic, it felt like a pipe dream. The conenction is definitely there but clearly, the logistics are not. I've never been into older men and I'm still not, but there is something about him & our conversations that really mke my head spin. This has been the case since we met although whenever a guy catches me eye, he's always in my age range. He's the exception.
I've come to believe love is probably not meant meant for me & I'm not even seeking anything at this stage. I've just given up. After years of hoping this year will be the one, I've just decided to stop getting my hopes up.
One thing I am happy about however, is that I completely cleared my energy and myself from my past romantic attachments. I don't feel attached to any of my exes or crushes (well aside from this man mentioned above since we work together). I've completely let go and feel totally indifferent towards them. I think this is a good step.
Friendships:
I've met a lot of people in the last few years, since I finished college. Some relationships stay and other go. I'm mostly fairly isolated, but I'm someone who enjoys their alone time a lot. I just wish some friendships were to sustain.
Family:
I have not spoken to my parents and 2 of my siblings in 3 years. My family was extremely toxic with a lot of abuse both physical and emotional. I had to disconnect from them for my own well-being. It is sad not to have a family to visit during the holidays or to rely on whenever you're having a tough time, but they were never supportive of me. I felt consistently undermined, any happy moment was always turned into a sad one, no love ever shown towards me thus making me extremely closed off to people in general. My relationship with them caused me a lot of anxiety and even pushed me close to suicide many times. I have forgiven the hurt, but I need to focus on myself.
Roommates:
I have two roommates which are OK. We're not friends, but they're fine. They never ever clean and I have not seen them do so in 2/3 years. I clean every sunday and they never offer to help. I want to talk about this, but this may create issues, os I just let it be. I'm just tired of having to share my space with people who are basically strangers, but I guess given how expensive the city is, there is no way to have your own apartment. I also happen to think that given the fact I'm not surrounded by a lot of people, having people present in the apartment when I come home from work avoids me from feeling a painful loneliness.
How I see the future:
This transit is already making me question my entire life. Aside from wanting a new job and perhaps move to a new location, I'm also questionning whether I want to get married and have children. This last question has been weighing a lot of my mind lately although there is no real factor in my life which requires me to be thinking about this.
Given the fact I've been a rather "serious" person in my life (finances, health, lifestyle ...) and my weak point has always been relationships (other the lack thereof), I'm guessing Saturn will mainly teach me how to commit to long-lasting relationships. Whilst writing the above points, I've noticed there is a consistent aspect which translates from all these types of relationships .. it's the inconsistency of the relationships. My relationships have been lacking a lot/non-existent because they simply do not last, never get off the ground and usually don't last long. Every single human relationship type has fizzled after a short while in one capacity or another, leaving me alone with a non-existent "human interactions" department.
No one really knows who I truly am deep down inside as I've never had the chance to develop a long-lasting relationship with anyone (friendship/romance etc..) in order for me to open up. Intimacy is not a word that has ever existed in my life. It actually has never existed. Perhaps it's stemming from an actual fear or simply a loneliness destined to take over my life, I don't know. I'm surrounded by people who do not remain in my life, thus leaving me lonely. It could be I subsconsciously pushed them away.
Anyway. I just wanted to describe my life as it is pre-transit. I'm not entirely sure what to expect with this transit. I experienced Saturn in Scorpio 2012/2015 and it was the worst experience, but it made me stronger. I was actually happy that transit happened. If I'm still alive by the end of it, I'll update.
Thank you for reading & happy new year!
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