So Unlucky in Love I'm Practically a CW Series - Long
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Januarystorm
Well-known member
very well, if you dont wish to understand why and how you can change it i will give you a reading of your chart
north node of the moon is aspecting 7th house cusp
that means your venus is conjunct the south node in capricorn
the south node is about detachment, it is about letting go
you have that conjunct the planet of relationships venus
in the 12th house of spirituality and liberation
this is a very spiritual combination i would say actually
12th house is the original house of pisces and venus is exalted there
i think you need to be more detached in your approach to relationships, and not clinging to partners or being dependent on them or seeking their approval- the south node is trying to release you of this behaviour and teaching you that you need to approach it differently- dont be afraid to let go- because if you do cling and hold on- they will leave- it is by you NOT trying to control them and possess them (in a material way of possessing things not in like the demonic way lol) that they will want to stay and you will feel much better in such a relationship than what you have been experiencing before
if you dont learn the lesson- the lesson is going to be repeated until you get it! this can be slow or fast that all depends on you.
to be honest i dont really see much else going on
7th lord is in sag, a fellow fire sign is good for the sun, he is in a good house, a very very good house even
1st lord saturn is also doing fine- exalted in libra beautifully and also having dispositor venus in his sign so they have this good exchange going on
truly i think its your venus-south node conjunction and its pretty close as well
nothing too problematic i would not panick if i were you
this could also mean that you tend to over-idealize the person you are with and thats never good
north node of the moon is aspecting 7th house cusp
that means your venus is conjunct the south node in capricorn
the south node is about detachment, it is about letting go
you have that conjunct the planet of relationships venus
in the 12th house of spirituality and liberation
this is a very spiritual combination i would say actually
12th house is the original house of pisces and venus is exalted there
i think you need to be more detached in your approach to relationships, and not clinging to partners or being dependent on them or seeking their approval- the south node is trying to release you of this behaviour and teaching you that you need to approach it differently- dont be afraid to let go- because if you do cling and hold on- they will leave- it is by you NOT trying to control them and possess them (in a material way of possessing things not in like the demonic way lol) that they will want to stay and you will feel much better in such a relationship than what you have been experiencing before
if you dont learn the lesson- the lesson is going to be repeated until you get it! this can be slow or fast that all depends on you.
to be honest i dont really see much else going on
7th lord is in sag, a fellow fire sign is good for the sun, he is in a good house, a very very good house even
1st lord saturn is also doing fine- exalted in libra beautifully and also having dispositor venus in his sign so they have this good exchange going on
truly i think its your venus-south node conjunction and its pretty close as well
nothing too problematic i would not panick if i were you
this could also mean that you tend to over-idealize the person you are with and thats never good
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Januarystorm
Well-known member
this is a thread from another forum where they discuss having venus conjunct the south node natally
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum38/HTML/000100.html
there are many responses and they go quite deep into it- discussing. their own lives and people they know with this aspect
im guessing this could shed some light on your issue
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum38/HTML/000100.html
there are many responses and they go quite deep into it- discussing. their own lives and people they know with this aspect
im guessing this could shed some light on your issue
cosmicbrownies
Member
I think that Saturn square Venus might be making it really hard.
Januarystorm
Well-known member
also just a little adjustment on one of your statements:
--No, I do not have low self-esteem. I can feel awful when people are cruel to me and still love myself. That's actually pretty emotionally healthy.
thats not emotionally healthy nor is it a sign of self esteem.
self-esteem: having confidence in who you are- and treating yourself with respect.
feeling awful when people are cruel to you and after that loving yourself- and calling that emotionally healthy
when someone is cruel to me- i do not feel awful- why would i feel awful because of someone else's cruelty? how awful must it be to be a cruel person- i feel awful for them! i would try to help them and see whats going on and why they are acting cruel because a truly happy person never acts cruel- obviously they have some personal problems that have nothing to do with me whatsoever- i would try to talk to them and maybe try to see whats going on.
also, the premiss that if someone were to be cruel to me and for some reason i would take that personally and be sad which is really a bit of a far stretch for me but ill go along- and for me to then AFTER that still love myself like what do you even mean by that??? so if for some reason you felt terrible because someone was cruel to you- you mean to assume most people would hate themselves for feeling bad about someone being cruel to them? so so its like a double whammy- first someone is cruel- your feeling awful- and then you obviously need to make things worse by NOT loving yourself like whoa what kind of world is this
you mean you would ever stop loving yourself because you felt bad because someone was cruel to you?? why would that even be in the conversation- the love you feel for yourself can never be stopped nor can it be influenced by you being momentarily obviously an idiot for feeling bad about something clearly the other person should feel bad about
i love myself every day every second all the time i never stop i love myself so much so much so much- i love myself SO MUCH that other peoples cruelty- directed towards me as it might be- never for one second does the love i have for myself let me even entertain the thought their cruelty is somehow connected to me in any way, if anything it makes me feel sad for the other person- and i truly genuinly try to help them- and the fact that i love myself does not mean i think i am better than anyone else- it just means i love myself- which is my right as a person, because if i cant love myself first- how can i love anyone else for that matter? you cant give something you dont have- you cant get sick enough to make the other person better and you cant love someone else enough to make them love you- love yourself so much and show them by example how to love you the way you want to
you have venus in capricorn you SHOULD have high standards and you SHOULD shift and sort- and you SHOULD first test them out- first you fake0show them you trust them- whilst you dont- just to see what they do- and if they pass the test its a deal, besides you should attract quite serious and fairly loyal partners- this should not be a very difficult thing to do- usually these people want those monogamous relationships for life and marriage means a lot and they have traditions and they respect marriage etc etc etc
so before you actually trust them- just test them out- do something you usually do when you start trusting- and see what they do- but do it before you actually trust them- by the way putting your trust in people is unnecessary- you cant actually trust anyone but yourself because you never know what is going on in the other persons life you know but at least test it before you take the plunge
actually i think i have a better idea, as a cappie venus i would strongly advise you never to let your armors fully down and blindly trust anyone or that matter- or at least have them know that- keep your cool and you saturnian pokerface- trust them in your heart- but dont say it directly to them- obviously it is been backfiring in your face, is it so necessary for you to let them know you trust them know- or is it something you can do without sharing all the details with them- just remain aloof and distant for a long time until you KNOW for sure for sure this person is worth your trust i think maybe you have been a bit too fast with things like trust- trust is something you build up- not something you give out because well you like the guy? liking/loving someone is not a reason for you to trust them- their actions over the course of time is...thats when you have the trust- because you say you start trusting someone and then their gone- i dont think you ever trusted them in the first place or else that would not have happened- what exactly do you mean when you say trust like that? you trust they wont leave you? did they trust you too? did you ever ask?
trust is a fundamental aspect in the relationship between two people that has nothing to do with your readiness to willingly point at another person and say- i know what i want, you have all the requirements i want, i dont have low self esteem!, i am ready for this! my therapist says im ready, i know i am ready, i am a fun loving partner im not blocking blessings aaaaaaand- well heeeeere weeee go then- i trust you!!!
now thats- emotionally unhealthy
its a two way street that has nothing to do with being ready or being a fun and loving partner
--No, I do not have low self-esteem. I can feel awful when people are cruel to me and still love myself. That's actually pretty emotionally healthy.
thats not emotionally healthy nor is it a sign of self esteem.
self-esteem: having confidence in who you are- and treating yourself with respect.
feeling awful when people are cruel to you and after that loving yourself- and calling that emotionally healthy
when someone is cruel to me- i do not feel awful- why would i feel awful because of someone else's cruelty? how awful must it be to be a cruel person- i feel awful for them! i would try to help them and see whats going on and why they are acting cruel because a truly happy person never acts cruel- obviously they have some personal problems that have nothing to do with me whatsoever- i would try to talk to them and maybe try to see whats going on.
also, the premiss that if someone were to be cruel to me and for some reason i would take that personally and be sad which is really a bit of a far stretch for me but ill go along- and for me to then AFTER that still love myself like what do you even mean by that??? so if for some reason you felt terrible because someone was cruel to you- you mean to assume most people would hate themselves for feeling bad about someone being cruel to them? so so its like a double whammy- first someone is cruel- your feeling awful- and then you obviously need to make things worse by NOT loving yourself like whoa what kind of world is this
you mean you would ever stop loving yourself because you felt bad because someone was cruel to you?? why would that even be in the conversation- the love you feel for yourself can never be stopped nor can it be influenced by you being momentarily obviously an idiot for feeling bad about something clearly the other person should feel bad about
i love myself every day every second all the time i never stop i love myself so much so much so much- i love myself SO MUCH that other peoples cruelty- directed towards me as it might be- never for one second does the love i have for myself let me even entertain the thought their cruelty is somehow connected to me in any way, if anything it makes me feel sad for the other person- and i truly genuinly try to help them- and the fact that i love myself does not mean i think i am better than anyone else- it just means i love myself- which is my right as a person, because if i cant love myself first- how can i love anyone else for that matter? you cant give something you dont have- you cant get sick enough to make the other person better and you cant love someone else enough to make them love you- love yourself so much and show them by example how to love you the way you want to
you have venus in capricorn you SHOULD have high standards and you SHOULD shift and sort- and you SHOULD first test them out- first you fake0show them you trust them- whilst you dont- just to see what they do- and if they pass the test its a deal, besides you should attract quite serious and fairly loyal partners- this should not be a very difficult thing to do- usually these people want those monogamous relationships for life and marriage means a lot and they have traditions and they respect marriage etc etc etc
so before you actually trust them- just test them out- do something you usually do when you start trusting- and see what they do- but do it before you actually trust them- by the way putting your trust in people is unnecessary- you cant actually trust anyone but yourself because you never know what is going on in the other persons life you know but at least test it before you take the plunge
actually i think i have a better idea, as a cappie venus i would strongly advise you never to let your armors fully down and blindly trust anyone or that matter- or at least have them know that- keep your cool and you saturnian pokerface- trust them in your heart- but dont say it directly to them- obviously it is been backfiring in your face, is it so necessary for you to let them know you trust them know- or is it something you can do without sharing all the details with them- just remain aloof and distant for a long time until you KNOW for sure for sure this person is worth your trust i think maybe you have been a bit too fast with things like trust- trust is something you build up- not something you give out because well you like the guy? liking/loving someone is not a reason for you to trust them- their actions over the course of time is...thats when you have the trust- because you say you start trusting someone and then their gone- i dont think you ever trusted them in the first place or else that would not have happened- what exactly do you mean when you say trust like that? you trust they wont leave you? did they trust you too? did you ever ask?
trust is a fundamental aspect in the relationship between two people that has nothing to do with your readiness to willingly point at another person and say- i know what i want, you have all the requirements i want, i dont have low self esteem!, i am ready for this! my therapist says im ready, i know i am ready, i am a fun loving partner im not blocking blessings aaaaaaand- well heeeeere weeee go then- i trust you!!!
now thats- emotionally unhealthy
its a two way street that has nothing to do with being ready or being a fun and loving partner
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Thank you! I'll definitely take a closer look at that.
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david starling
Well-known member
Thank you! I'll definitely take a closer look at that.
And thank you for actually responding to the chart instead of going on a narcissistic tirade and blathering on in posts I can't even see because I mute crazy people.
Not JUST Saturn Squaring Venus. They're also in each other's Domicile-Sign. Like, they're trading places.
All of your planets are above the horizon. Nothing is below, which is the 'inner, emotional self.'
When that happens, the native is sometimes unable to see themselves clearly.
Ten planets in the upper hemisphere produces overconfidence and a lack of personal insight.
This crazy pattern that is happening over and over and over must mean something, right?
Your chart is top heavy. You may be overly concerned with appearance and how things look to others.
That also means that you might often be concerned with 'being right.' You want to be seen and accepted as a role model and a success. Who doesn't. right?
But when ALL of the planets are placed above the horizon, one might be overly concerned with what others think and how one is seen by others and SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE.
I don't think you yet understand why your boyfriends ghost you. It is of vital importance that you look deeply in order to understand why this is happening.
Do not just look at your chart and place the blame on a certain aspect or two.
Do not distance yourself from the issues. It is an internal problem having to do with something being out of balance---out of whack.
Look deeply inward...
When that happens, the native is sometimes unable to see themselves clearly.
Ten planets in the upper hemisphere produces overconfidence and a lack of personal insight.
This crazy pattern that is happening over and over and over must mean something, right?
Your chart is top heavy. You may be overly concerned with appearance and how things look to others.
That also means that you might often be concerned with 'being right.' You want to be seen and accepted as a role model and a success. Who doesn't. right?
But when ALL of the planets are placed above the horizon, one might be overly concerned with what others think and how one is seen by others and SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE.
I don't think you yet understand why your boyfriends ghost you. It is of vital importance that you look deeply in order to understand why this is happening.
Do not just look at your chart and place the blame on a certain aspect or two.
Do not distance yourself from the issues. It is an internal problem having to do with something being out of balance---out of whack.
Look deeply inward...
wilsontc
Staff member
Keep it to astrology, to All
All,
Please keep all discussions on this thread to astrology. If the person wanted strictly psychological advice they would have posted to a psychology board and not an astrology board. ANY advice you have to give, personal or psychological, should be backed up FROM THE CHART.
Back to astrology,
Tim
All,
Please keep all discussions on this thread to astrology. If the person wanted strictly psychological advice they would have posted to a psychology board and not an astrology board. ANY advice you have to give, personal or psychological, should be backed up FROM THE CHART.
Back to astrology,
Tim
All of your planets are above the horizon. Nothing is below, which is the 'inner, emotional self.'
When that happens, the native is sometimes unable to see themselves clearly.
Ten planets in the upper hemisphere produces overconfidence and a lack of personal insight.
This crazy pattern that is happening over and over and over must mean something, right?
Your chart is top heavy. You may be overly concerned with appearance and how things look to others.
That also means that you might often be concerned with 'being right.' You want to be seen and accepted as a role model and a success. Who doesn't. right?
But when ALL of the planets are placed above the horizon, one might be overly concerned with what others think and how one is seen by others and SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE.
I don't think you yet understand why your boyfriends ghost you. It is of vital importance that you look deeply in order to understand why this is happening.
Do not just look at your chart and place the blame on a certain aspect or two.
Do not distance yourself from the issues. It is an internal problem having to do with something being out of balance---out of whack.
Look deeply inward...
I'm definitely not overconfident. I had to work really hard to overcome a lack of confidence. As a person I'm very analytical and self-aware, and I'm already pretty familiar with those placements in my chart-- the way they landed in aspect to each other made me honest, not two-faced, etc.
Also my partners don't just "ghost" me. I was pretty clear about there being a lot of abuse and general cruelty. No one deserves to be treated as disposable, and if anything I give and yield too much.
Maybe you should look "deeply inward" before saying such potentially harmful things to people without even reading what they actually wrote.
It's interesting that people are locking onto Saturn here. I know it's a heavy influence, but have never worried about it much because I generally do what it wants-- I'm responsible, I work hard, I play fair and don't lie/cheat/cut corners, etc.
My Saturn return wasn't even that hard compared to the other things that have happened to me; I just stopped chasing Libras after that.
I had evolutionary astrologers as teachers though, and I know they have a friendlier view of Saturn than others. I'm open to examining Saturnian influences through a different lens.
This post would have been better without the parting shot regarding that previous reply (seriously, please find a less dehumanizing example than a "very obese" person) but credit where due, the astrology part of this is a solid interpretation.
The need to not get so consumed/obsessed with the person I'm with is definitely something I've struggled with for a long time. That originated in a pretty horrendous childhood with unstable parents, and you may appreciate that I've been working on it for some time with qualified supervision and guidance.
I think we'd all agree that hard aspects in the natal chart can make deep emotional wounds (and other setbacks; my love life is just the tip of the iceberg, to be honest) far more difficult to resolve, though.
What draws my attention to that 12th house so much is the boundary dissolution associated with its traditional ruler. I've absolutely been one of those women who love too much, but that's where I run into the wall because why the heck would I want to love *less*?
The problem of idealizing/romanticizing you mentioned, which I realize is different from genuine love, is probably a more useful way of framing it.
The need to not get so consumed/obsessed with the person I'm with is definitely something I've struggled with for a long time. That originated in a pretty horrendous childhood with unstable parents, and you may appreciate that I've been working on it for some time with qualified supervision and guidance.
I think we'd all agree that hard aspects in the natal chart can make deep emotional wounds (and other setbacks; my love life is just the tip of the iceberg, to be honest) far more difficult to resolve, though.
What draws my attention to that 12th house so much is the boundary dissolution associated with its traditional ruler. I've absolutely been one of those women who love too much, but that's where I run into the wall because why the heck would I want to love *less*?
The problem of idealizing/romanticizing you mentioned, which I realize is different from genuine love, is probably a more useful way of framing it.
Thank you-- I'll check it out. Understanding the nodes has been more difficult for me than other natal chart analyses, which usually means that's the area most in need of attention. I have one of those "greyed out" relationships with the Empress tarot card too, and I can't say that's not a part of myself that needs reintegrating.
Also, I apologize for calling you "crazy". I felt very hurt and dismissed by the earlier non-astrology reply, but that's a terrible and damaging thing to call someone. I shouldn't have done it-- that's not who I want to be or what I want to impose on other souls. It won't happen again.
Also, I apologize for calling you "crazy". I felt very hurt and dismissed by the earlier non-astrology reply, but that's a terrible and damaging thing to call someone. I shouldn't have done it-- that's not who I want to be or what I want to impose on other souls. It won't happen again.
I'll clarify-- I don't feel awful as in feeling like *I'm* awful or like I deserve to be treated badly. I mean hurt. It's normal and human to feel hurt when people do hurtful things, and denying or being ashamed of that pain only makes more of a mess.
I'm not ignoring the rest of what you wrote here-- just taking it in and letting it marinate.
I'm not ignoring the rest of what you wrote here-- just taking it in and letting it marinate.
david starling
Well-known member
Your magnetic personality is so powerful and dynamic that you can easily attract anyone you want. You need someone secure enough not to be frightened off by your intensity and perceptive abilities.
Okay, but I did read what you said. For example:
"I don't understand how every one of them can go from can't get enough of me to can't get away fast enough every time."
That summary sounds like 'ghosting' to me.
Ghosting= When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.
You say, in your own words: you do not understand why every one of them goes from not getting enough of you to getting away as fast as they can.
I am repeating this because I want you to see that I did read what you said. And I did see it as a distinct pattern that can be connected to having all ten planets above the horizon, and none below.
It involves not really understanding how one comes off to others, in an emotional and deeply personal way. All of the houses which rule 'below the surface' processes are empty.
But you do have Chiron in the 4th. It is conjunct your IC and opposes your Scorpio Moon/Mercury.
It seems like there may be an unconscious competitive streak lurking below that may make others feel uncomfortable or unsettled. Like they feel they are being manipulated or in conflict with you in spite of being your ally?
You may come off as far more defensive than you know. Obviously we all have the right to defend ourselves and to be protective of our feelings. But Chiron, being the lone warrior in that hemisphere , may work overtime and thus you may be hyper sensitive to things and it may create unnecessary drama?
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StillOne
Well-known member
Not sure if it's been mentioned (sorry just skimmed thru) but the ruler of your 7th house (the Sun) is conjunct Uranus... This can make your intimate relationships short lived, unpredictable, and radical on many levels... to me it certainly doesn't help that those planets are in Sagittarius.
Furthermore, you most likely have an independent streak and possibly operate on a bit of a different vibration having your Sun conjunct Uranus...
Furthermore, you most likely have an independent streak and possibly operate on a bit of a different vibration having your Sun conjunct Uranus...
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