What kind of woman am i?

More self development questions.

Some ppl find it really easy to understand who they are/their identity. I on the other hand do not. I am such a mixed bag. One of the things I think about the most is my femininity and maintaining that through the challenges and rediscovering it when I get lost.

One thing ive come across recently is something called feminine dominant. Ive never experienced this in life as the women in my family have all been aggressive masculine type of women. My friends are sweet kind women but not too feminine or dominant. Ive always just categorised women to be dominant/masculine or feminine/submissive. I always thought feminine was submissive. Obviously im wrong.

So then I wondered what I am? I know im a woman who has made far too many sacrifices. I honestly see myself as a feminine yet independent woman. I guess I went off track a bit when motherhood kicked in. I totally lost my independence. I became very feminine when I became a mum and focused solely on motherhood, but it led to being abused for 8 years by my mother in law - so im definitely not dominant either in a masculine or feminine way. Which leads me to label myself as 'feminine independent.' Interesting though is that feminine energy is all about being protected by the male so the woman can nurture the children without getting paid. I didn't get that as a mum, so I find myself having to be independent. So I call myself feminine independent if that makes sense.

So I look to the chart. I guess this can be shown with all the sag planets. Moon in sag 1st house (moon represents me as a mother right?) and ceres in aqua 4th house.

Do you guys reckon you can see what kind of woman (feminine submissive/feminine dominant/ masculine or other) I am based on the chart? Thank you.

Hello Abby,

in my opinion people aren´t just submissive or dominant, but submissive or dominant in different aspects areas of our life. A bully can intimidate everyone around but trembles when he´s father is around Or a woman can fight any women that tries to dominate her but gets yelled at and bullied by her own daughter.

These type of things happen in many ways and situations like work , home , school , church .

To me we all have wounds or areas that we weren´t properly taught by our own parents or any authority figures.

From history , books , concepts we learn that dominance is a male characteristic and submission a female one, However we know that men and women both have female and male characteristics and we also know that a woman can "dominate" a man (or do his supposed job) as a man can "dominate" a woman.
The idea that a man should provide and woman nurture is in some cultures disappearing because women and men were both unhappy with that arragement and felt enprisoned by a solidification that no longer represented their needs.

I´ve met women who when young had an arranged marriage, got pregnant and did not work. They were miserable until they one day divorced , started working and found a man of her needs and not ideals/culture.

Now, im not an astrologer and know a little , but i can see that you have your moon squared your mars. I can interpret that you havedifficulty to work with the energy to be a mom and to exert your agressiveness. Maybe that is what led to being " abused" by your mother inlaw.

Your sun is in Libra but Libra is rulled by Venus (feminine planet) however libra is a masculine sign. Same with ascendant Scorpio ( feminine sign ) rulled by mars/pluto (masculine planets).

Let me tell you a case, my mom works and provides/supports for the family alone , she is very "dominant" in work , she will defend herself from any attack. At home she is submissive to my father who does not work and lacks the ambition (trust issues) to do it and needs constant caring however abuses his power and drinks,everyone inside home is afraid of him.

So what i want to say to you is that, you can be very independent, freespirited outwordly but when in comfort and intimite ( family ) , you drop your defenses and you maybe do not know how to / or have difficulty exert certain abilities because that´s how you were taught when young or how you saw your parents doing or you resent them in some and wish to do things differently.

I´ve learned that in some cases the struggles of a mother/father can be passed to children.

You've made some very good points. Yes, a lot starts in the home with parental relationships. And a lot has happened recently to affect my opinion. I know for sure ill never be dominant with anyone because I don't like fighting or confrontation and when you're dominant, other ppl who are power hungry or control freaks or warriors challenge you to fight. I typically take the feminine approach and walk away. But I am in charge with my kids. I speak gently and I understand their emotional needs whilst using consequences. That is how I have my leadership and power, and other dominating ppl cant beat me on that because my children only respond to my firm yet gentle approach.

I had the privilege of having a master slave role play online recently. It was good because it triggered this awareness that I much prefer being there for a strong man. It woke up my awareness of what is not functioning in the family. In my family and my husbands family, the men are weaker and the women are bossy and dominant. The men don't know how to stand up to the woman or should I say even stand up for themselves in any situation. You can see the problem in the dynamic of their relationships. The woman keeps bossing and bullying the man and the man is embarrassed, ashamed, and hides. Then the woman complains he's useless. So I've been incorporating the energies of master slave in my relationship this last week. It's amazing cos my husband and I were affectionate and it made the flaws of the other parental relationships stand out hugely (like at Christmas celebrations). The men in the family were drawn to my affectionate, sweet, and gentle relaxed nature and running from those bossy loud women. Some even told those women off. I felt empowered I must say.

As for women being happier divorced and having a career - I agree that it's good for women to have hobbies she enjoys, but hard work is not feminine, it's masculine. A lot of women who have their careers are not happy and are unhealthy with fertility issues. I know with me, I was only happy with feminine work eg working with children or massage or dance teaching, health and nutrition. But a feminine woman doesn't need a big income. She needs to nurture herself and her children. Her body and land provides the nutrients required for the children. Lots of couples are also fighting these days because men cant provide enough for the family and the woman is pressured to work. It's great to have your own freedom, but when u have children, you're with the baby 24/7. That's feminine. Yes, lots of ppl HAVE to put their kids in childcare to work, but a lot of them don't have to and still do because apparently they need money. You actually don't need much money for children until they're older when you can work. But these days everyone wants to keep living the single life.

And yes its true that there are a lot of women who are masculine and want to dominate and men who are feminine and are submissive, but that's not what I am.