Why do I hide who I really am from people?

Alzander

Well-known member
I have long legs and long torso for my body. Some people say that Pisces men can have a body that blends into the background of society...being not too small...not too big...like a generic body shape and length. I have long arms, that when measured through widespread, are longer that my actual height..so I guess I'm a glorified chimpanzee. I used to be pretty fat but I'm in much better shape now due to a more regulated exercise regime and improved nutrition.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member

Yep. With the people I've known in the real world they all display the more emotive characteristics of Saggy more often that Sun Sign. Breezy, gregarious, fun-loving, exciting, attention grabbing etc. Five (four women and a man) who come to my mind have suns in Taurus, Scorpio, Virgo and Leo. Isn't your nickname smiley or something like that? You sound like you'd fit the pattern if I met you in the real world.
 

hmfs

Member
Because you don't have lovely parents, you are lack of sense of security.

Your childhood environment doesn't give much encouragement to you.

Your parent may favor another brother/sister over you.

The people you have come through in your lifetime are strong or even smarter than you and too calculative.

In short, due to internal and external factors, you are lack of confidence.

If you know you are right after carefully analyse all the things, be strong. There is no need to care how other people judge you or look on you.
 

Chillaxer

Well-known member
At a glance-

Gemini SN conjunct Sun may come across, rather than the Sag NN you are working toward, which is also in a personal house.

Gemini is more trivial than Sagittarius IMO.

Leo Midheaven, public front, is playful, whereas Aquarius IC, private inner core is more serious and saturnine.
 

twistandshout

Well-known member
Honestly when I read the thread title I immediately thought you must be a Scorpio ascendant and was not surprised to see it confirmed. Scorpio Ascendants don't tend to interact with the world from a completely revealing perspective. They go in trying to get a better understanding of their environment and other people before actually revealing their true nature. It's like they tend to put on an opposite face than how they are to throw people off (which seems reflected more intensely if your sub is on the opposite side of your chart where it is).

It's definitely interesting looking at your chart though. You actually would seem VERY Scorpio with a Scorpio ASC/Moon/Pluto in 1H, sun and Mercury in 8H, but your communication style and your ego are still in a Gemini ruled house which tends to make things come off "superficial".

Scorpio ascendant people also, I think, tend to feel the most misunderstood over any sign. I think everyone I've met with this ascendant more often than not will tell me that people who first meet them do NOT get them at all and get the opposite impression of who they feel they are inside so that could also just be all that it is.
 

Kite

Well-known member
Because you don't have lovely parents, you are lack of sense of security.

Your childhood environment doesn't give much encouragement to you.

Your parent may favor another brother/sister over you.

The people you have come through in your lifetime are strong or even smarter than you and too calculative.

In short, due to internal and external factors, you are lack of confidence.

If you know you are right after carefully analyse all the things, be strong. There is no need to care how other people judge you or look on you.
Good questions to ask yourself along with - What am I afraid of? What am I trying to protect myself from by being myself? Meditate until the answers come to you and then sit with them - don't judge them. For instance - if you discover there was abuse in your childhood - feel it until it defuses the emotional charge. Know you are protected and you will begin to trust others enough to be more of who you really are.
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Because you don't have lovely parents, you are lack of sense of security.

Your childhood environment doesn't give much encouragement to you.

Your parent may favor another brother/sister over you.

The people you have come through in your lifetime are strong or even smarter than you and too calculative.

In short, due to internal and external factors, you are lack of confidence.

If you know you are right after carefully analyse all the things, be strong. There is no need to care how other people judge you or look on you.
My parents were lovely and very loving, but it was a little different. Like I wasn't allowed to be myself. I had instances at the age of 4 where I realized, when I was in a situation being myself, it was frowned upon by my mother especially. Like "don't be like that." "Don't do that." So I was kind of a more "aware" child and I associated being myself with something that was "wrong" because that's the impression my mother gave to me. So it really made me go inwards and put up a front. I didn't play with the type of toys I desperately wanted to play with, didn't dress the way I wanted to dress, didn't express myself the way I wanted to... It was super, super tough. But I still love my parents.

As for people coming into my life stronger or more calculating then me... Never met one! lol. I have been through hell and I'm still standing people :rightful:
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Honestly when I read the thread title I immediately thought you must be a Scorpio ascendant and was not surprised to see it confirmed. Scorpio Ascendants don't tend to interact with the world from a completely revealing perspective. They go in trying to get a better understanding of their environment and other people before actually revealing their true nature. It's like they tend to put on an opposite face than how they are to throw people off (which seems reflected more intensely if your sub is on the opposite side of your chart where it is).

It's definitely interesting looking at your chart though. You actually would seem VERY Scorpio with a Scorpio ASC/Moon/Pluto in 1H, sun and Mercury in 8H, but your communication style and your ego are still in a Gemini ruled house which tends to make things come off "superficial".

Scorpio ascendant people also, I think, tend to feel the most misunderstood over any sign. I think everyone I've met with this ascendant more often than not will tell me that people who first meet them do NOT get them at all and get the opposite impression of who they feel they are inside so that could also just be all that it is.
Yes, I feel very Scorpionic... Life theme has been secrets, destruction and transformation 100000%. Chaotic and crazy. Thinking you have NOTHING left to give after self-destructing and then suddenly you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so happy I'm only 23 because I'd probably have wrinkles by now and look horrid if I was older with the amount of stress I've endured in my short life!

But by superficial and bubbly I don't mean like going up to everyone and being like "HAYYY WHAT'S UP." Like I'm still reserved but for some reason, having like a conversation with someone, I subconsciously put up this act of like... Not showing who I really am. And keeping things on a superficial, bubbly level. But yeah.

Edit: As for people not understanding me... When did they ever? It is the most frustrating thing in the world but I realized last year... A big part of me not being understood is myself. Because I'm so closed off and suspicious to other people. But even when I walk into a store, don't communicate with ANYONE, people still get the wrong impression of me so you can never win I guess.
 
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GeminiSun

Well-known member
Good questions to ask yourself along with - What am I afraid of? What am I trying to protect myself from by being myself? Meditate until the answers come to you and then sit with them - don't judge them. For instance - if you discover there was abuse in your childhood - feel it until it defuses the emotional charge. Know you are protected and you will begin to trust others enough to be more of who you really are.
Wonderful post. I will ask myself these questions tonight and think deeply through them x
 

twistandshout

Well-known member
Gemini is honestly one of the most superficial signs imo. The air signs tend to be overall but Gemini in a lot of ways takes the cake. My cancer moon is in a Gemini ruled house and it took me a long time to understand how that's expressed and it shows through my highly expressive face. Cancer moons aren't usually known for putting their feelings all out there. In fact it tends to be the total opposite - they feel deeply but conceal unless they're within a space that feels comfortable and secure. They'll still definitely be passive aggressive about it because how can people NOT see how they feel when their emotions run so deep. This, however, hasn't been an issue for me. I've been told that I seem like a cartoon character with just how much I emote. I can't deny that I have a superficial tendency towards expressing my feelings but the expressions I show are still highly superficial in relationship to the deep emotions I'm actually feeling. Admittedly I'll joke about my feelings a lot too, make quick quips and self-destruction remarks to basically make them "easier" for people (myself included) to digest but it doesn't negate the deep sensitivity that still comes from having a water sign Moon.

So having a Gemini ruled 8H, housing your sun and Mercury and being in a lot of ways how the energy of the chart translates itself since that's the home of Scorpio will make you more inclined to being more superficial and light hearted over how you express the depth of emotions and thoughts that you actually experience. Gemini is a social sign! Scorpio - not so much. Gemini will help Scorpio make friends by being the clever funny friend who plays off of Scorpio's darker qualities. While this helps Gemini a lot, it will definitely cause Scorpio to get frustrated because the true depth that's available is very rarely revealed in lieu of seeming appealing and clever to others.

But yeah, I don't know a single Scorpio Ascendant person who hasn't told me that people take them the opposite of how they actually are. Even my oldest brother (an Aries) will have this issue when first meeting brand new people. He's usually VERY goofy in that Aries way but people will still meet him and read him as very severe and serious when he's not even intending to be. His sun is tucked into a Pisces ruled house, which also adds a deep moodiness to him and how he comes off at first. He's good at deflating that perception quickly however because his mars and Venus are in air signs but it's still a thing he needs to deal with.

Yes, I feel very Scorpionic... Life theme has been secrets, destruction and transformation 100000%. Chaotic and crazy. Thinking you have NOTHING left to give after self-destructing and then suddenly you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so happy I'm only 23 because I'd probably have wrinkles by now and look horrid if I was older with the amount of stress I've endured in my short life!

But by superficial and bubbly I don't mean like going up to everyone and being like "HAYYY WHAT'S UP." Like I'm still reserved but for some reason, having like a conversation with someone, I subconsciously put up this act of like... Not showing who I really am. And keeping things on a superficial, bubbly level. But yeah.

Edit: As for people not understanding me... When did they ever? It is the most frustrating thing in the world but I realized last year... A big part of me not being understood is myself. Because I'm so closed off and suspicious to other people. But even when I walk into a store, don't communicate with ANYONE, people still get the wrong impression of me so you can never win I guess.
 

twistandshout

Well-known member
An Aquarius 4H shows that your home life was more geared towards having you be a part of the "community". People with this house placement seem to have had parents who put rather high expectations on them. You may have had quite a bit of freedom and liberty to move, especially as you got older, though Saturn placed in there makes me think of you did, it may have been to some degree conditional (I.e. having to work for that freedom and sense of liberty but once you got it, it was likely unwavering).

This also I feel comes with an attitude that the parents may treat you as the "special one/chosen one" in the family, putting a lot of responsibility on your shoulder to lead the pack in some ways. Ultimately though this can lead to a sense of aloofness when it comes to interacting with people in your family. You may be more focused on finding a way to stand out from them (Leo MC) than be a part. Your Sun trining Jupiter shows that you do a pretty good job of juggling your ego with your sense of community though. Sun in 8H may also point to how this works out so well - because you're constantly "checking" yourself, digging deeper and trying a better understanding of who you are, especially in relationship to the larger community. Virgo riled 11H with Jupiter in Libra seems to put a heavier importance on helping others versus helping yourself. You know that you can't get far unless Everyone is able to benefit.

My parents were lovely and very loving, but it was a little different. Like I wasn't allowed to be myself. I had instances at the age of 4 where I realized, when I was in a situation being myself, it was frowned upon by my mother especially. Like "don't be like that." "Don't do that." So I was kind of a more "aware" child and I associated being myself with something that was "wrong" because that's the impression my mother gave to me. So it really made me go inwards and put up a front. I didn't play with the type of toys I desperately wanted to play with, didn't dress the way I wanted to dress, didn't express myself the way I wanted to... It was super, super tough. But I still love my parents.

As for people coming into my life stronger or more calculating then me... Never met one! lol. I have been through hell and I'm still standing people :rightful:
 

Alzander

Well-known member
Yep. With the people I've known in the real world they all display the more emotive characteristics of Saggy more often that Sun Sign. Breezy, gregarious, fun-loving, exciting, attention grabbing etc. Five (four women and a man) who come to my mind have suns in Taurus, Scorpio, Virgo and Leo. Isn't your nickname smiley or something like that? You sound like you'd fit the pattern if I met you in the real world.
Hi conspiracy theorist.

Expand on 'real world' ?

Heh
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Hi conspiracy theorist.

Expand on 'real world' ?

Heh

We're in cyber space where anyone can manipulate their presentation to get the effect that they want. In the "real world" I could see your face, hear your voice and what you do will be more embodied and less left up to the imagination.
 

david starling

Well-known member
The real me, is super emotional, sensitive, deep, understanding and very spiritual...

But I hide that part of myself. And I don't know why. Almost like instinctively. And put on this act of like bubbly, superficial, crazy, etc.

Like if you met me you would NEVER know how deep, introspective and spiritual I am. But I can't help it. My "acting" part just like comes up. It's not even that I try to be someone else it just "comes up," almost like I'm guarding a part of myself, the real me and I don't know why I do it.

I know this sounds complex and crazy but I'd love some insight on it.

Simple explanation from my view: Asc and Pluto in Scorpio, private-Self/ M.C. and Mars in Leo, social-Self. Scorpio prefers being cloaked, and the social-Self can be used for that. I protect my Piscean, private-Self with my Sagittarian, social-Self. Doesn't fool Sun in Sagittarians, though! :biggrin:
Do you follow any religious traditions?
 
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sibylline

Well-known member
Yep. With the people I've known in the real world they all display the more emotive characteristics of Saggy more often that Sun Sign. Breezy, gregarious, fun-loving, exciting, attention grabbing etc. Five (four women and a man) who come to my mind have suns in Taurus, Scorpio, Virgo and Leo. Isn't your nickname smiley or something like that? You sound like you'd fit the pattern if I met you in the real world.

Smiley was an older nickname. I've been christened Bubbles by the bf; I think I like that one... The conflict between my Sun and Moon shows outwardly. I think I can be optimistic and fun-loving but I wouldn't say I'm too breezy and I'm warm but not overly so. My Sun is too serious-minded for that. As far as the Sag Moon in general, I'd agree it has a base of happiness and enthusiasm of life but how this comes across can vary depending on the overall dynamic of the chart. Having the unconscious, reflective side of a person hold an active firey sign, these traits can manifest within instead of without, if that makes sense.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Smiley was an older nickname. I've been christened Bubbles by the bf; I think I like that one... The conflict between my Sun and Moon shows outwardly. I think I can be optimistic and fun-loving but I wouldn't say I'm too breezy and I'm warm but not overly so. My Sun is too serious-minded for that. As far as the Sag Moon in general, I'd agree it has a base of happiness and enthusiasm of life but how this comes across can vary depending on the overall dynamic of the chart. Having the unconscious, reflective side of a person hold an active firey sign, these traits can manifest within instead of without, if that makes sense.

Heh, bubbles...

For awhile there I was wondering what you were getting at with your Sun sign but then it hit me. I also understand what you're saying with the Moon manifesting more inwardly but to tell you the truth, in my experience most people display traits of their Moon sign quite outwardly. The only people who I know who don't really show their Moons tend to have it in either Scorpio or Pisces.
 

sibylline

Well-known member
Heh, bubbles...

For awhile there I was wondering what you were getting at with your Sun sign but then it hit me. I also understand what you're saying with the Moon manifesting more inwardly but to tell you the truth, in my experience most people display traits of their Moon sign quite outwardly. The only people who I know who don't really show their Moons tend to have it in either Scorpio or Pisces.

Really, those two? :)

So, as you know, my bf is Scorp Moon. My ex is Pisces Moon. Their Moons are so obvious, I could give you stories for days. You'd be able to tell who was who right away if you met them. These two Moons give depth and breadth to the emotions, respectively, that is pretty apparent to me.
 
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