There is no known way to accurately determine sexual preference in a chart. The chart is a blueprint of the challenges and opportunities for growth in this life. As such, which gender issues can come forward, they are perceived as a challenge that is gender neutral.
In the mid 20th century there were some authors(I have some of their books) who called homosexuality a perversion and claimed to be able to identify it on that basis. But realistically this has never happened. Charts have nothing to do with that, in my opinion. Likewise there is no way that I know of to determine whether the chart is of a female or male---on any consistently accurate basis.
As to the tension that you experience, you would have to share a chart. In my chart for example, my Sun and ASC are nearly conjunct. There is no tension.