Govind, I did have a look at progressions and things dont look "bad" at all. You constantly say "my bad aspects".
There is no such thing as a bad aspect Govind, believe me. There are aspects which will be more difficult to deal with, which need more attention and input from us. I am happy for the squares in my chart (Pluto square Sun and Moon!!) otherwise I would probably have turned out a lazy female bum! (Sun in Taurus is not the most active seeking Sun. Thank God my Venus is in a more assertive sign, Aries, but then again, it is weak there).
What you have written here:
Any recovery on the horizon? Or am I doomed to a lifetime of low self esteem and stuttering?
is really not a possitive way of looking at your life and yourself. What
Simply insight wrote:
just enjoying the fact that you're alive LONG enough to start pulling in some energies towards you that are fused with Spirit and connecting to people soul-to-soul, because the set-up is fused into the Ego mind
is very very true.
You see, we people look a certain way from the outside as you know. We form our own ideas about other people (our ego). But in reality we are all a piece of a giant spiritual cake, we are all connected in spirit, so on the soul level, we are all kind, loving, understanding, divine if you like. Try therefore to connect with the soul of others instead of what your ego tells you about them. This will take the fear away of communicating with them. You do not seem to really like yourself, so you think that others wont like you either. On the other hand, you recognize this vibrant young man inside yourself. You know what they say: what you give out, you will receive. You give out fear and others will feel this and will therefore also tend to have a "fear", (subconsciously of course), to approach you. This then is seen by you as rejection of you. Start trying to show that other side of you and see what will happen.
OK, enough of this and on to your progr. chart.
First of all, look at your natal planets. Two of them are mighty strong: Mars and Pluto, both in their own sign. Pluto rules your house of hopes and wishes, Mars rules your early upbringing, showing a good childhood.
The North Node, in traditional astrology very important, is in your 3rd house of communication (a positive indication) and only receives good aspects, one of them a sextile with your Part of Fortune in your house of selfexpression (5th). Your 3rd house of communications, ruled by Neptune (modern)is placed in your 1st house, conj. your Ascendant in Capricorn and again, I agree with Simply insight that this definitively points to you wanting to express yourself (first house) in a teaching capacity. Jupiter (traditional ruler of 3), is placed in your 6th and only receives great aspects from Sun, Moon and that strong Mars of yours. A Grand Trine which involves your MC as well. I consider Jupiter as ruler of Pisces/Jupiter in the 6th a good placement as Pisces and the 6th house of service to others go well together. It strenghtens Jupiter, despite the fact that it is in it's sign of detriment. It is in term of it's ruler Mercury (traditionally again) and Mercury itself in term of that strong Mars of yours. By the way, Mars retrograde shows aggression/anger, directed inwards! Try not to be too harsh on yourself and forgive yourself for not accepting yourself for who you are. Instead, try to accept yourself completely. Meditation on this will help you.
Progressed Moon is right now in your 12th and sextiles your natal Pluto. Apart from having transiting Pluto hovering around your Ascendant, this aspect hightens your emotional feelings strongly. Also Progr. Moon sextiles natal Moon!! Pluto is all about
inner transformation which will sometimes be helped by outer circumstances or otherwise by extreme feelings of restlessness, unhappiness, feeling unfulfilled etc. which then slowly come to a boiling point and when triggered by other transits or progressions, will erupt and bring about the changes you long for. Often these changes are accompanied by having to let go of things, people or old habits, familiar things which actually do not play a positive role in your life anymore. You have to cut ties with Pluto. This is painful but at the same time creates a feeling of enormous freedom and happiness (eventually).
With Progr.Moon in the 12th your consciousness will dwell on doom and gloom, but only if this is your inclination!!! The best use of this placement is to develop your inner strengths and to get in touch with your subconscious mind. The possibility to do so is exactly now, with this placement of the Moon. Digging deeper into your psyche (and that aspect with Pluto will help) will give you greatest opportunity for self-development.
Now, the placement of Progr. Moon in Saggitarius may make you feel idealistic and adventurous and you could philosophically justify all experiences as a learning process.
It is actually a good placement for your Moon.
Progressed MC has entered the sign of Scorpio (1°), quite a bit more powerful than when it was in Libra at birth. With ruler in own sign as well as traditional ruler Mars, also in own sign, this is positive. This progr. MC also sextiles your natal Ascendant. This MC sign changement could well show the ending of old situations in job and status and the start of another other, new situation. Especially with tr.Pluto in your 1st house and near your Ascendant. Transiting Pluto will go direct on Sept. 16. He will not retrograde any further than 4°53, so it's heaviest influence will slowly diminish from then onwards. Nevertheless it will be in your 1st house for a very long time which can give you far more personal power, also in speech as it will conjunct Neptune, ruler of your 3rd house, as well as transforming the way you are going to express yourself verbally.
Transiting Uranus at approx. 3° Aries is squaring your Ascendant, another indication of change (this one more outward) but also giving you the obvious urge to want to change, and maybe also move to another location.
About your speech impediment. 3rd house.
Transiting Neptune at 29° Aquarius, a critical degree, will soon change direction, going direct, on the 8th of November and enter definitively into it's own sign on February 4th 2012. You will feel much better regarding expressing yourself from then onwards as it will not only conjunct your 3rd house cusp but also because it is in it's own sign.
Transiting Mercury (trad. ruler of all 3rd house activities) will go direct in 2 days and will also enter it's own sign on Sept.10th of this year.
The New Moon at 5° Virgo on August 29 shows a beginning of some learning process (conjunct 9th house) which could help you with your problem as it also sextiles your Chiron. The New Moon after this one will conjunct your MC, showing another possible new start regarding your career and social circumstances.
I have to stop now, this is becoming too long. Any questions I can answer you via PM.
Starlink