Hephaistos
Well-known member
...square Sun. Any Ideas about this Progression!? Synconized Progressed Moon Opposite my Pluto. My Idea is, my whole life a have the feeling women hates me, with true reasons,
and they want to kill me, this feeling comes from my mother they really want to kill me long time before, now i have the feeling to kill women.
but this feeling becomes some bricks, but dont understand other peoples positive body language and this makes me frantic, people say i'm to negative but i dont find i'm negative, just realistic. for example, a women smile to me, and i think they laugh about me and i say with no friendly voice: have i sh.it in my face or what why do you laugh, pi.ss off or i kick in your face. I have some voilence fantasies against womens since 4 - 5 years, hope they get never be true, but they makes me horny. 3 months ago first time in my life, i beat a women, because they reminds me of my mother, i was shocked, ... before, .... my hate was going ONLY to my mother and not to other womens, this thing seems to be changed.
for a women that reminds me of my mother it seems to be very dangerous, this hate is really strong and i have no force against this hate, true words i'm powerless against my own hate inside of me which is very strong and take instantly control over when someone push the trigger. 6 years long friendships seperating from me, they say, we try to help you with your disease (shizophrenie) but after 6 years of crisis you dont trust us, you never trust us we help you and you think we are your enemys to kill you ... yes i did i say and i cant otherwise, my enemys also laugh to me long time before. they simply not understand what is true hate and i dont understand what is true love.
here the "Sonnenbogen" Sunbow progression.
and they want to kill me, this feeling comes from my mother they really want to kill me long time before, now i have the feeling to kill women.
but this feeling becomes some bricks, but dont understand other peoples positive body language and this makes me frantic, people say i'm to negative but i dont find i'm negative, just realistic. for example, a women smile to me, and i think they laugh about me and i say with no friendly voice: have i sh.it in my face or what why do you laugh, pi.ss off or i kick in your face. I have some voilence fantasies against womens since 4 - 5 years, hope they get never be true, but they makes me horny. 3 months ago first time in my life, i beat a women, because they reminds me of my mother, i was shocked, ... before, .... my hate was going ONLY to my mother and not to other womens, this thing seems to be changed.
for a women that reminds me of my mother it seems to be very dangerous, this hate is really strong and i have no force against this hate, true words i'm powerless against my own hate inside of me which is very strong and take instantly control over when someone push the trigger. 6 years long friendships seperating from me, they say, we try to help you with your disease (shizophrenie) but after 6 years of crisis you dont trust us, you never trust us we help you and you think we are your enemys to kill you ... yes i did i say and i cant otherwise, my enemys also laugh to me long time before. they simply not understand what is true hate and i dont understand what is true love.
here the "Sonnenbogen" Sunbow progression.
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