Why do I do this?

[druex]

So for the new year I wanted to get my social/dating life back up and it's been going pretty good so far. BUT, I've been noticing something that I do that could be a potential problem. I'll go from wanting attention and getting it, then not wanting to be bothered at all after LOL. I'm sitting here wondering if this could be a toxic habit? So now I'm being mindful of what I say and do because I know I slip into my moods of wanting solitude. And if I don't want to hurt feelings or lead someone on.

It's kinda hard telling someone that you're interested in and vice versa that you just don't want to be bothered. Especially when these moments come out the blue. I really feel like this is a battle between my Sun-Venus and Moon-Saturn., which are in opposite signs! Any thoughts?

[freeadia]

There may be multiple explanations.
Maybe, Scorpio Ascendant and pluto in 1st house, both want control and the on-and-off relationship is the usual way for this personality to transmit more or less consciously that he/she desires to keep control.
South Node in Cancer show emotional comfort in feeling of belonging to another person or group. But there is also found the forgotten wound. South Node is not all good, is also where we might have been deceived or deceivers, you might fear the emotional involvement.

The first thing I observed was that all of the planets are in the Eastern hemisphere which is associated with high independence and personal power. This is very good, is like you have a lot of choices, it is easier for you to influence others than others to influence you.
There is also a possibility that you want that person only until you prove your attractiveness and then, seeing them as a conquered prey, you look for something more challenging. This is immature behaviour because your relationships never develop along with friendship, devotion or emotional intimacy.
Moon with Saturn may be linked to a complicated relationship with mother, a profound and heavy sense of responsibility toward your mother or toward close feminine figures. You may associate women with some kind of burden. Also it show frustration in defining personal boundaries because of some apparently incongruent needs. Stellium in Leo - generous warm-heart, Moon with Saturn - expressing emotions through assuming responsibilities and through material support.
Juno conjunct Neptune in Capricorn may suggest a clouded or distorted perception about partnership and responsibilities in relation and also idealism in this matter. The stellium in Leo shows you have a generous heart, in last degree, it also may be something unusual about how you like to show your affection, you want to be original and/or an exemple to be followed.
Sun|Venus is inconjunct with Moon|Saturn, which looks more promising than opposition, because the meaning of the aspect of inconjunction is adjustment.

Maybe you could try to observe if the bothering at a certain moment is caused only by the person that you just got interested in, or by any other person.
What if someone else would contact you at that moment? Would you feel the same? Maybe you don't want to be bothered by that specific person because you want to have total control about when, where and how things hapen.
Otherwise, if would be your mood for wanting solitude you would not tolerate anyone else's interruption.
North Node in capricorn is a mark for the need of accoplishments and status, so you might feel that a partner may hold you back or may distract you from your purposes and you tend to see parnership as a contract made by your rules. Those rules are not clear yet because your willingness in giving and geting emotional security(Moon) is linked with Saturn (career fulfillment and status) and that usually comes after years and years of work.
Mars in Virgo is gifted with of scrupulously and perseverance in efforts that guarantee advance in any field of activity. The disadvantage is that may use harsh words toward the loved ones.
If there is the mood for solitude, one may look how to step down gracefully, there must be some proper words for the contemplation and creative moments in one's life.

[katydid]

One main thing I noticed from your chart is that ALL of the planets are in one hemisphere---the Eastern Hemisphere, ruled by the Ascendant.

I think that might be one reason that you feel 'put upon' by others, at times. The natural urge for the native with a dominant Eastern Hemisphere is the joy of being in solitude.

https://stormcestavani.com/2014/09/2...nterpretation/

The Eastern Hemisphere:
The Self and Personal Identity.
The native is particularly independent and impervious to other people's opinions. There may also be natural tendencies towards introversion or egotism.

Eastern Emphasis:
The eastern hemisphere is basically a subjective reality.* Subjective means that your personal feelings, tastes, and opinions are the most important to you.*

You tend to rely on yourself and have a hard time asking for help from others – not because you do not want help, but because you do not want to burden anyone with your responsibilities.*

Although relationships are important to you, they are not as important as getting your own needs and urges met.
https://stormcestavani.com/2014/09/2...nterpretation/


https://jmastro.com/en/hemisphere-emphasis/

See the Ascendent, your identity, how that identity talks to the world, how the world responds, somehow needing to overly protect oneself.

A kind of “defensiveness” develops with a need to protect against disclosure. In some cases there is no giving away of self.

But why? What happened so early in development that the ego felt it needed to defend itself and form a “cloak of protection” around itself? How might that work out in relationships with others?

How easily would a marriage work, especially in the current times, if one of the partners was not able to open up to the other? Or maybe this person would be unwilling to work for or with others. The ego is so fragile! ==================================================

[druex]

Thank you katydid and freeadia for your replies. I'm really taking this all in.

So I pulled up my transits and just freaking realized that I'm going thru my Saturn return! Like how did I not notice this?! Maybe this is another reason why I'm withdrawing emotionally and craving solitude so much?