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  #1  
Unread 11-02-2014, 05:23 PM
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Intellect & Sexual Attraction

I 've noticed a needy-pattern in certain areas of my life. (love relationships= MENTORS a weird complex ) Initially I wanted to name this thread "dependency -love issues in the chart". But the theme-question here is intellectual stimulation & forming relationships (love relationships). It took 25 years for me to notice this...
Breakthrough!!!

Its not easy to detect it in my everyday life because I appear to be very independent in serious relationship decisions & a bit of loner (A LOT) & very specific about what I am searching in life and love.(One would describe me a woman who doesn't need anybody to tell her what to do..)

Subconsciously I am searching for a mentor type of lover & friend, someone "who will teach me things"...a guru maybe??someone that possesses the same level of intellect & interests & will help my spiritual evolution (the next level). Even in my private journals there is this overall theme of finding a mentor & evolve through his teachings...Have someone to exchange heavy intellectual ping-pong... !!

I realize that makes me more un-relatable to the average boy-man of my age group (even more when I was younger) & makes me shut down the flirty side of myself quite often. I feel comfortable flirting with older men, significantly older (& really brainy that flirt is not just conventional flirt but a waterfall of ideas)...Again it took me so long to see this!To really detect whats going on backstage in my brain...

If I begin to sense that the other person is not my "equal" as a thinker I become indifferent (sexually) to them. When younger I 've felt a but guilty over this...now not really!I 've never heard a similar opinion by a woman or a man!! (Only when I watch Sherlock, on BBC one!Scary comparison..) Have you seen this trait before in a woman? Would you consider this a dysfunction inherited from the behavioral patterns of my early environment?

In my natal Chart I feel this must be combination of Pisces Sun in the 9th Conjunct Venus & Aquarius-Mercury in the 8th. But then again theres no aspect between my Mercury & Venus! Or is this a Mars square Mercury to blame for wicked attitude towards attraction & love relationships? I have this tiny (HUGE) fear that this attitude can prevent me from experiencing a real- fulfilling relationship. Does my chart & progressions show if I can gain real fulfillment & not just intellectual (power play) fulfillment?

Tam
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Last edited by TamaraL; 11-02-2014 at 05:31 PM.
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Unread 11-02-2014, 10:16 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

This does not strike me as unusual. It is a matter of a strong, dignified Saturn ruling your 7th house of relationship, the Other. You look for an older, father/mentor type. Saturn also rules your Mercury/intellect. It's really not so atypical to gravitate towards another in the way you describe.
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Unread 11-03-2014, 11:44 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Thank you IleneK,
Yeah I see what you mean, glad to hear that its not atypical!
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Unread 11-06-2014, 03:01 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

I don't have time right now to delve into your chart at length.
But I do have to tell you that it's not unusual to want a combination of George Clooney (or Brad Pitt), Clint Eastwood and George Barnard Shaw or Mark Twain all wrapped up in one package.
We are not one dimensional beings. We have a lot of needs.
Be glad that you recognize those needs, so at least you won't take a lot less than you need.
Unfortunately, at some point you will probably fall head over heels in love with some guy who overwhelms you with chemistry and the rest of your "priorities list" will be put in a drawer for another time.

Which means that it's hard to remember your most basic values and goals, and long term values...when "cupid" comes around.

The book, "Are You the One for Me?" by Barbara DeAngelis is a very good primer when it comes to putting reality in front of you and helping to make you conscious of how relationships work and how we tend to get involved before "knowing" this is the right person to get involved with.
Personally, I suggest you read it. No one who has ever read this book has told me it didn't give them some really great things to think deeply about.
If I can get back here today I'll look at your chart,
LIN
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Unread 11-06-2014, 06:41 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Lin,
Thank you so much, for your comment, time & suggesting the book.
(I kept a note on goodreads website, so I "ll probably check it during the weekend, never read it to be honest.I haven't checked relationship books so far)

Love is a complex issue, I was more interested in finding out what type of energy I project to attract men & what attracts me to them in return. Its a subtle thing. So I started writing... (very therapeutic)
& I am trying to wake up from my naive mindset of dating somebody & "things will take their own spontaneous way". It doesn't work for me. I need to be more aware of what lies underneath my choices.

Therapy wasn't very useful & I am doing a self-directed approach before deciding whether to continue with therapy in the future. Astrology has helped me A LOT!A year ago I was weaker on finishing my sentences & identifying the real issue.

I am aware of the complexity - beauty of human beings... "love vs sex" is dangerously oversimplified in popular media culture. Even the most unconventional girls-guys I know, tend to feel some guilt (at night when nobody is watching) if they don't date/have a relationship for a year or 2 years or even more. This tiny little guilt has passed on to me & others throughout the generations. It has become the norm to be needy & just stay in a non-real 1-sided relationship for "fun & status quo reasons". And its ok if you are ok with that.

I am not ok, with losing my freedom if I don't feel good with the other person!I am not typical - needy or so I think because I use logic a lot. I 've learned to just exist on my own & people often find this trait "unhealthy" once they get to know me...even "dysfunctional"... & as I am not easy to date-approach-flirt. I appear sensual & fun but people are often intimidated later once I express who I am.
At university many guys & even girls tried to get me drunk or "take me down to their level" but it never worked for them. (Not self-righteous) I can't never betray how I feel inside on these issues....Therefore I don't have a list or Brad Pitt+Mark Twain=? I have a Sagittarius Moon on the 5TH & which could make me more promiscuous, but the hard aspects prevent it.

Don't take me wrong, I am proud for becoming emotionally independent (or somewhere there) & its the very foundation of a healthy adult. From what I read, self-awareness brings a new energy in the game. So I want to learn myself MORE, & release that energy because I know someone will receive this.

However I do feel alone in this new discovery & since there is a lot of love-sex disillusionment in my generation. I can't share this information with many people because simply they will make me feel this attitude unhealthy & "doesn't score dates". (specifically young adult girls) maybe 2 or 3 friends get it. Now through work, I am meeting older people & hopefully new external stimuli will enter my world.
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Unread 11-06-2014, 08:31 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hi Tamara,

I mentioned the Brad Pitt/Mark Twain polarity to show that often we want very complex things from the men we are going to commit to. And the more complex a woman one is, the more complex the traits and attributes she wants from the man.

You said, " I am trying to wake up from my naive mindset of dating somebody & "things will take their own spontaneous way". It doesn't work for me."

Hon, it doesn't work for most women. Unfortunately most women will 'settle' because let's fact it, we are superior to men in the area of balancing the varied parts of our psyches. So a woman will take the good guy who sort of want the same things she does...and yeah...later figures "it'll all work out...maybe."

Your chart is really a good example of the conflicted needs of many woman.

Pluto on your 5th means you demand a LOT from "love." You want the real thing. and you want it permanently. But...what do you want?

Well, it's all in there. Saturn (as mentioned above) is a big clue
Saturn rules your 7th house of marriage (commitment in relationship.)

So the Saturnian is there as an archetype. Then there IS Saturn which is in its own sign...Cap, and conjunct Uranus...which makes it NOT the usual Saturn....Uranus represents the qualities of the unusual person, the free thinker, the genius, the eccentric in many ways....
BUT....Saturn is VERY closely conj. Neptune. THIS is the problem. Your VISION of this wise, guru like man who is going to unselfishly teach you the truths. Always beware of Neptune...esp. when it conjuncts the ruler of the 7th. You can find yourself "creating your own version of the truth in your own mind...." and then projecting it onto a man who just may NOT be worthy of this.

You have Moon in Sagi, and so you want to feel connected to someone who "knows a lot." But sometimes that man is also a "know it all". Your Sun and Moon square each other. This is difficult as you can't always SEE what is really going on in a relationship. You are ready to soak in what the person can teach you....but often you are disappointed because your feelings don't match the fact of what this person is.

Your Merc is in an air sign (Aquarius) on the 8th house cusp. You want a intellectual connection...and you are ready for it...as your Merc and Moon sextile each other.
But Merc squares Mars (men - and the woman's love image.)

AND your Venus squares your Mars. So the most personal parts of yourself (represented by Merc, Venus, Mars are NOT in sync. You are often actually attracted to the more physical part of the man...and later learn that he is NOT extraordinary and become disillusioned.

Pluto on your 5th is exactly square your Mercury. So....it's really hard for any love object to live up to your "ideas" about what you want. For that you would have to be more attracted to men who are less "water-earth" identified and less sexually attractive.

I know...this almost doesn't make sense. But that is what your chart says. Expecting a man to be really knowledgable (and age hasn't always a lot to do with it) and also physically attractive and able to give of himself and also appreciate the woman both physically and intellectually is a REALLY TALL ORDER.

I'm not saying it's not worth looking for. And you may actually find such a man. But I promise you there will be a compromise. There always is.

The most difficult aspects, in case you want to work on them are the squares to Mars from Merc and Venus....and Pluto square Merc. Plus the very powerful Neptune conjunct the ruler of your 7th.

You'll notice transit Pluto is right on your Saturn-Neptune right now. this is why this issue is so conscious right now in your life. Saturn is coming up to a square of your Venus and is opposing your Mars-Jupiter.

So...you see....all that your are concerned about is definitely appropriate to what is happening in your chart.

Also, transit Neptune is hovering around your Venus making it very hard for you to figure this all out only by yourself. But it also makes you vulnerable. Be careful of your heart.
As Neptune moves on it will conjunct your Sun. You can see when this will be in the ephemeris.

Your progressed Mars is square your Sun now from Gemini....so that is kind of an issue too....what has Gemini to teach you? IT rules "experience" rather than "conclusions" based on study and other people's experience.

You have a big journey to take.
Don't hesitate to ask me questions about anything I mentioned,
LIN
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  #7  
Unread 11-06-2014, 09:02 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hi. Thanks for making the thread so interesting by posting lots about where you're at with this.

As you say, its not surprising that you would be attracted to people who can help you to evolve, because of the Pisces Sun in the 9th and also the chart-ruling Sagittarian Moon in the 5th. The tight square between Mercury in Aquarius in the 8th house and Pluto in Scorpio in the 5th adds to this theme, and also reflects your need to understand what is going on beneath the surface - within your own psyche and between yourself and a prospective partner - a need which could potentially become a little obsessive.

The Mars Jupiter conjunction in the 11th (ruled by Venus in Pisces) is probably also relevant.

The descendant and 8th house ruler, Saturn, is conjunct Neptune, so a sense of attraction to a spiritual authority. A Capricorn descendant tends to bring attraction to relatively detached people whose manner balances out the possible excesses of the Cancer ascendant. But with Saturn conjunct Neptune, there is a sense of wanting to this person to act as a bridge to the divine - somehow removed by virtue of their accomplishments, and yet offering a way for you to reconnect with larger life of which you are part.

As with all desires, one can enquire, 'Why do I want this?' The answer tends to lead back to an unlived potential which can be realised with or without the involvement of a partner. Your libido is leading you to a certain type of partner because such a partner is a symbol of your own reason for being - at least at this point in your life.

In time you may decide that pairing up, as is the convention within humanity at present, is not for you. You may find that a more expansive form of relating is right for you.

It could be that you are more prone to developing crushes on 'gurus' even if you initially simply seek guidance rather than romance - that libidinal energy being aroused by the potential for growth.

The Mercury Pluto square could bring difficulties if you over-analyse these issues. Mercury should be kept in its place, no matter how much it insists that its thought-trains must be followed at all costs.

It has been said that a Cancer ascendant is either a breast looking for a baby or a baby looking for a breast. It may benefit you to trust your own spiritual compass, so that you don't approach these 'guru types' like a lost child on some level. As you get older you will be an effective midwife, helping others to emerge from their wombs of spiritual unconsciousness. You may even start to attract people who are looking for a guru-partner themselves!

A possible issue could be that you find it difficult to accept the mundane side of relationship, because you associate such ties with the possibility of transcendence and so on. Perhaps you know this deep down, and so back off when you see that the potential partner is an actual flawed and demanding human being.

Lots of speculation here, but maybe some of it will ring true.
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Unread 11-08-2014, 09:51 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Lin, thank you immensely for giving me more insight on my question.
I 've found the book you mentioned & started just reading.

To put it very simply,I think many women & men who know themselves & ask more than the usual (or the norm) face similar tensions. But tension exists even in shallow people (believe me) & shallow relationships. Tension exists in compromise as well. I don't think compromise in choosing a random or "plan b" type of person can bring anything good in the long term.

Many things are determined by the depth of your mind-vision of who want to be. The woman/man one desires to become.The person inside the person. If your lover/companion cannot follow you in that journey-lifestyle-commitment then only friction, tensions, loneliness (within the relationship) & conflict will follow.

From the first pages of book De Angelis kind of states a similar thing.
The point is..If you are with the wrong person nothing is worth fighting.
..its like fighting for nothing
...Its a waste of energy..But if there is a common ground (of intellect as well) with your lover you can create this smaller compromises & adjustments so that the relationship can be reborn again & again.

I am aware of the importance of this combination of [COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]Saturn-Neptune & Uranus[/COLOR] on the 6th H (Placidus) or the 7th in Whole signs. I am an eccentric girl with an even more eccentric mind, unusual professional choices (ART) hence the Uranian influence in relationships.
Maybe Pluto explains the following- I cannot hide what I am on the inside (the drama) from my partner.I am not the alluring kitten type of woman who seduces the guy & then you wake up with the stranger. I THINK (can never know objectively) Its healthy to project the real thing because the other person knows what they are dealing with....

You mentioned:

BUT....Saturn is VERY closely conj. Neptune. THIS is the problem. Your VISION of this wise, guru like man who is going to unselfishly teach you the truths. Always beware of Neptune...esp. when it conjuncts the ruler of the 7th. You can find yourself "creating your own version of the truth in your own mind...." and then projecting it onto a man who just may NOT be worthy of this.

I have to confess this part scares me because obviously I feel its true. How to work on this one? I haven't been lucky in love despite the fact that I am not shallow & hasty in finding a guy. Lucky is not a very mature word. Its like blaming sb else for your mistakes. Plus Neptune is in detriment in Capricorn...so maybe my instincts are wrong because of that? I feel I have a powerful intuition in knowing things before they happen (in my career & family) but somehow it only fails in finding a partner. Crazy? right? like being selectively psychic....

You also said:

This is difficult as you can't always SEE what is really going on in a relationship. You are ready to soak in what the person can teach you....but often you are disappointed because your feelings don't match the fact of what this person is.

I feel this also happened in my friendships.Most of my ex-friends where people not worthy of my time. I wasn't aware until internal chaos came to visit. So its not only in finding a mate. These squares in my personal planets seem very challenging, like a burden. I can feel that Saturn in Capricorn has reduced silly love bubbly impulses & gave me excellent "brakes" before jumping in a serious commitments. I am not in any rush to prove anything in the love arena! I think Saturn already has helped me a lot in life, never understood why people are intimidated if Saturn is in the 7th (in whole signs the stellium is on the 7th) . Actually I admire that planet along with Pluto...
transformation is essential...

you can't learn if you don't risk though..I am not really a risk-taker in love Not risking to get hurt often. I create this super duper fortress... that can be unlocked by few interesting men + few cool friends .So are you saying I might want to look less attractive men less earthy-watery.
I find myself attracted to Uranian types, not necessarily Aquarius sun but strong Uranus influences. You mentioned sexually attractive is important for me but I am not sure if appearance drives the action...(Who doesn't on the othrr hand?)


2 things that I always observe first in a man are: a) Voice, b) Movements...
I am immediately hooked by a strong deep voice!Don't care so much about the appearance but I care a LOT ABOUT PRESENCE! Presence is everything.What we project what we get right?....its interesting because I possess an unusual deep voice for a woman while the way I move is very unusual- gestural. So who we both outside-inside are connects to what we seek in the OTHER. Its not hard maths.

IF everything I say sounds like a TALL ORDER I feel its worth it...Its hard but everyone I know faces hard, the point is how you cope-adjust.I am a TALL ORDER myself. He wont be bored.


As you mentioned I have to work on the squares, I will become more outgoing & less intellectualizing.Any ideas how to work with them would be welcome.I 've been told that this transit also means you stop dreaming & start experiencing life, rebuilding my life.No more theory, college, circumstancial friends.Here where real action takes place.This is what you said:


The most difficult aspects, in case you want to work on them are the squares to Mars from Merc and Venus....and Pluto square Merc. Plus the very powerful Neptune conjunct the ruler of your 7th.You'll notice transit Pluto is right on your Saturn-Neptune right now. this is why this issue is so conscious right now in your life. Saturn is coming up to a square of your Venus and is opposing your Mars-Jupiter.

Lastly its true that I can't figure the big picture on my own due to transIT. Neptune around Venus.Its true I am vulnerable, & often isolate to write...its the worse period to fall in love which is precisely why I need it.... Love can heal I hope the journey will transform me.

Many many thanks
T
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Unread 11-08-2014, 10:59 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hi Tamara,
you said, "Many things are determined by the depth of your mind-vision of who want to be. The woman/man one desires to become.The person inside the person. If your lover/companion cannot follow you in that journey-lifestyle-commitment then only friction, tensions, loneliness (within the relationship) & conflict will follow"

I totally agree. I can't find fault with your reasoning. I felt the same way. I also am considered eccentric in my family - after all, I am a professional astrologer and have spent decades studying something which will never be a secure profession...because it's not for security that one learns this....so...I hear you.

You said something about "presence" - well, for me, that is chemistry. You feel the presence of a person when some chemistry in YOU interacts with some chemistry in HIM>

Unfortunately, this leaves out what I consider the other parts of the success trinity....compatibility and love. They are rarely all in the same package. If they were, more people would stay together.

I am glad you bought the DeAngelis book. It's very enlightening. I like the "test" in the back of the book, so that you can see in detail the core issues in any particular relationship. If you test 2 or more relationships this way, certain common denominators may emerge. It's always interesting to see those.

As far as love "healing" it can only heal if it is unconditional and unselfish. Otherwise it can be one sided and that is far from healing.
That is why people use synastry to judge a relationship when it's new and before one "falls" for the other person who may not be a long term prospect.

And when you are really vulnerable can you really be objective enough to know if it's real or not? Neptune is very insideous....very sneaky. Once you read the whole book you may be able to outline a priority list that you can refer to when your rational mind is being clouded by Neptune. Just feel it's my job to remind you of this.

As for dealing with hard aspects or transits....I think keeping a journal is good. If you are faithful to journaling for let's say, 6 months, if you are truthful with yourself and write about the difficult days as well as the good ones, disagreements with friends and trying to see "both sides" of each disagreement....I think you can learn a lot about how your energies work for or against your true desires.
LIN
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  #10  
Unread 11-09-2014, 08:31 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hello miquar & Thank you for your interesting post and apologies for replying so late. I was very busy and couldn't reply on time.
Many things ring true from what you are saying. The hard aspect between Mercury Aqua & Pluto in Scorpio has defined my life in negative and positive ways. Its great in relationships because I can see the subtext of a persons behavior really easily. I observe the details nobody would...I am aware of incompatibility or the opposite as the person breathes. Not speaks.Breathes...When I channel that energy in my craft (art, acting drama, even writing) the obsessive elements disappear. The obsession has become complete when I create stuff (5TH H Pluto) and I can enjoy more my love life without having this need to dive in.I would be a great detective with this, but I am not. You stated:

Quote:
Originally Posted by miquar View Post
The tight square between Mercury in Aquarius in the 8th house and Pluto in Scorpio in the 5th adds to this theme, and also reflects your need to understand what is going on beneath the surface - within your own psyche and between yourself and a prospective partner - a need which could potentially become a little obsessive.The Mars Jupiter conjunction in the 11th (ruled by Venus in Pisces) is probably also relevant.
Plus I find really interesting the fact that you mentioned:

In time you may decide that pairing up, as is the convention within humanity at present, is not for you. You may find that a more expansive form of relating is right for you.

To be perfectly honest, I have chosen this option of not "pairing up" in a typical way, I am a loner by nature & by being an introverted character but it don't think its healthy to be alone for a long time.I have been a alone for quite a while & its part of who I am but I need more experiences with other people if I want to evolve as a soul. Spiritual loner is my ease. Loner relating without losing myself is my task.

If my creative self manages to tame that Pluto Mercury square I can earn a healthier relationship within me & with others.Also you mentioned

It could be that you are more prone to developing crushes on 'gurus' even if you initially simply seek guidance rather than romance - that libidinal energy being aroused by the potential for growth.

THIS IS 100% true.Its has happened 3-4 times so far.I am guilty of finding unusual male teachers, usually significant older 15-35 years..almost always art-poetry-film teachers that gave me advice, took me under their wing when I was 12-13 at college when I was 19 & last semester at age 21. (I 've read that Neptune Capricorn identifies with great masters of art) ALWAYS PLATONIC, Almost always mutual interest -spiritual crush. I feel stopped doing this after university it will never happened again. I don't think it can happen again because I am growing inside-outside, I don't need them anymore. These crushes always stop when you don't need them anymore because you know who you are..

As I said to Lin I have very good brakes! (assume because of Saturn) I am thinking that Saturn has the upper hand in the stellium it must be because thats what my life events prove.For instance a teacher at university tried to initiate a sexual relationship with me but I took my distance, deleted all his details, never show him again. I 've been in Neptunian environments where people get drunk and do drugs but I never did anything that would destroy me. I can be an effective 'midwife' one day,
as you said helping others to emerge from their wombs of spiritual unconsciousness. I do attract people who need a spiritual guide & it doesn't scare me!I can help! Difficult kids trust me. Always..

Kids scare me a bit because I can feel their pain & often I don't know how to help them.Kids break all my intellectual defenses. Maybe thats why I don't want to have them.I am scared of being vulnerable & have them i my soul evolution mission.

It has been said that a Cancer ascendant is either a breast looking for a baby or a baby looking for a breast.

Lastly this comment is scarily true..OMG so true...I am the 2nd I think, never breastfeed myself (born very prematurely) lost that experience....So important to know this..I assume this feeling of being a premature baby seating inside an incubator without a real breast for the first weeks of my life has created a suppressed feeling of longing ...
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Last edited by TamaraL; 11-09-2014 at 09:32 PM.
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  #11  
Unread 11-09-2014, 09:15 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hello Lin!
Once again thank you for mentioning the De Angelis book, I am at page 32 still, but I have found some earlier tests already.Actually I hate boasting but my Love IQ is very high! I don't think I possess the common fallacies- delusions -myths the book debunks (Sounds like boasting!terrible) Even if I do its really less than 20% ...disillusionment is not the main issue here, its actually the opposite!I knew too much, too early in life & unable to cope. Scared to deal with child adults...not anymore I think.I am ready for a healthy relationship, I 've always been but maybe I isolate myself from possible partners due to other fears..I can sense someone is incompatible from the telephone!I don't confuse lust with love!I say my opinion all the time, to the point of scaring potential partners.Not easy-going or a doormat!The opposite of the doormat!
Never believed in "love at first sight" or "the one" there is a good compass in here! I made a new discovery:

It might make no sense but I was thinking (wrote the same in the comment to miquar) that my Saturn is stronger than my Neptune. (I think Saturn has a final say in the stellium SA-UR-NE) I have had very destructive moments, but I drive the car & know when to jump out before it crushes!I use my logic in potential partners, but the less I knew myself (younger-teen inexperienced) it was easier for Neptune in detriment to lead...I know now why!But judging from the book I have excellent logic skills & I have applied them!In love more than friendships.Meaning it was easier to seduce me in a friendship rather than a sexual relationship.As I said in the comment before even men who tried to seduce me failed.I don't let them...that cannot be Mercury!That is the inner wise man inside me!So Neptune wins temporarily...he wins because I torture myself with doubts but when you don't have big love myths you are not an easy target... The book is great!I am going to continue now!

The only person that has loved me unconditionally is my dog & maybe my parents (MAYBE because its tricky, parents often love you because you bring meaning in their live but don't care about the kid within the kid the person in you.They don't see that unless you show it to them..)

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As far as love "healing" it can only heal if it is unconditional and unselfish. Otherwise it can be one sided and that is far from healing.
That is why people use synastry to judge a relationship when it's new and before one "falls" for the other person who may not be a long term prospect.And when you are really vulnerable can you really be objective enough to know if it's real or not?Neptune is very insideous....very sneaky. Once you read the whole book you may be able to outline a priority list that you can refer to when your rational mind is being clouded by Neptune. Just feel it's my job to remind you of this.
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Unread 11-09-2014, 09:58 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hi Tamara and thanks for your detailed response. Seeking soul evolution, by relating to others without losing yourself, may be fruitful at a certain level. But the surest and quickest way to true fulfilment in relationships is to relate to others without BECOMING yourself.
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Unread 11-09-2014, 10:44 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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Hi Tamara and thanks for your detailed response. Seeking soul evolution, by relating to others without losing yourself, may be fruitful at a certain level. But the surest and quickest way to true fulfilment in relationships is to relate to others without BECOMING yourself.
Hello again!

'To relate without BECOMING myself.' You gave me new food for though.Thats fresh for me...(very self-centered maybe thats why I can't relate) thank you!
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Unread 11-13-2014, 07:50 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

You totally need a down to earth guy. Juno in Virgo,mars in Taurus and 7th house in capricorn with saturn in cap too say that that is exactly what you're going to have. Also the combo of sagi moon and aqua mercury makes you search, search , search... being the romantic pisces you are, the search is after this perfect love...
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Unread 11-13-2014, 06:45 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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You totally need a down to earth guy. Juno in Virgo,mars in Taurus and 7th house in capricorn with saturn in cap too say that that is exactly what you're going to have. Also the combo of sagi moon and aqua mercury makes you search, search , search... being the romantic pisces you are, the search is after this perfect love...
Hello Kabalic Astrologer thank you for your post! I 've never considered to check Juno's role- position in relationships. So Juno in Virgo could be relevant, interesting. I do search indeed. Searching constantly a lot of things: friends, collaborators not just love.
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Unread 11-13-2014, 10:17 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Dear Lin,
Not sure if you are still on board but I have to THANK YOU again for suggesting the B.De Angelis book.Its has been quite the eye opener & quite painful I have to say...

It really brings up things I kept under the carpet my whole life.Without even knowing.I 've lived in ignorance, I think & wasn't aware of my emotional programing (developed in the first 5-8 years of life) & how much it affects our love lives. I associate my home with beautiful objects, art,financial security, books, ideas (Libra oriented) & emotional dysfunctions from my fathers side.He was there but didn't do much, didn't really express love.He would join in art & games only. Mother gave me all the love she could but maybe the unhealthy type of love. too controlling, overemotional, hyper-dramatic. I think the lack of real intimacy I saw between my parents has influenced me into being super scared of a real relationship. Therefore its not about intellect.Its about me being emotionally invalid & afraid to make a connection.I push people away subconsciously.Wow.I never knew.Its crazy.
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Unread 11-14-2014, 01:57 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Extremely interesting thread!

I have a friend who is Pisces sun, Cancer rising, Capricorn descendant. She's very much influenced by the Capricorn 7th house and her attraction to older/authoritative figures. There were other 'issues' in her life that brought her to that. But there is an interesting dynamic in that attraction for her, and her Pisces sun AND moon.

I'm not particularly good in the interpretation realm, but the emphasis on the western hemisphere does point to someone who may defer to others or depend on others to make decisions. Perhaps not a reality in your life, due to circumstance, but the energy/inclination is there.

I see that lonely Chiron sitting in the 12th house. I found a book a couple years ago: Chiron by Barbara Hand Clow. Her description of Chiron in the 12th was so very appropriate. "...prone to giving their free will to teachers because their highly attuned early awareness is out of tune with the real world. These natives maintain Neptunian isolation so that they can hear the music of the spheres, and a highly trained esoteric teacher will greatly attract them". It gives some additional emphasis to the attraction you've mentioned.

I hope to see further comments on this post. I read every one of them, but after an 11 hour work day, my mind didn't quite capture everything. Perhaps a re-read this weekend.

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Unread 11-14-2014, 09:05 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hello Sentient0ne,

Thank you for following the thread & commenting.Interesting to hear
about your friend. The more I read & discuss about this issue (Attraction to Mother-Father figures) think its a very complex issue.Not sure If the mystery can be solved.Its also fascinating to read about what you mentioned about Chiron being in the 12th house...

"...prone to giving their free will to teachers because their highly attuned early awareness is out of tune with the real world. These natives maintain Neptunian isolation so that they can hear the music of the spheres, and a highly trained esoteric teacher will greatly attract them"

I 've recently been "accused" by a family member of being 'out of of tune with the real world' and looking for extraordinary experiences, for instance a career in art (which is partially true I suppose) or internally looking for this mentor-teacher-partner that will help me reach my supposed journey of self-actualization.
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Unread 01-03-2015, 09:08 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Hi Tamara,
I don't know if you are still here....but I am glad you got so much from the book. I tell a lot of people about it...I don't know how many actually read it. Most of it is very practical information and common sense....of course when we are 'in love' sometimes we lose our "common sense." Right?
Somehow the rules fly out the window.

I found the hardest part was her list of the qualities you want from a partner....LOL....how many men have I ever met whose goals include becoming "better" people?
OR as she puts it "commitment to personal growth".
Or maybe even rarer...."emotional openness".....most men -anyway- that I have ever known are fixed in the emotional patterns...if they are open, they are open...but if they aren't they aren't going to become moreso.
those are really hard qualities to find.
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Unread 01-04-2015, 12:40 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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....LOL....how many men have I ever met whose goals include becoming "better" people?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THtv5VM5LSY
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Unread 01-06-2015, 11:54 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

LOL...something to remember about that story is that it's a "hollywood" story.

In order for anyone ....especially men because they are from "mars"....to say they want to be better or improve or "grow" personally, they would first have to admit that they are lacking. Frankly....and I am NOT young and I've known a LOT of people including a fair number of men....and admitting one is "lacking" and needs to "improve" is not natural for men. Most people get a bit defensive about this subject...even if they KNOW they need to "be better people."
Women do much better with this. First, because women always seem to be open to new ways of doing things; doing things that brings better results in their lives. Next because women have been taught to learn new things and to be more coorperative in life in general. We ask for advice more often. And we sincerely want to "do" things that may may us happier.
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Unread 01-07-2015, 12:46 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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I 've noticed a needy-pattern in certain areas of my life. (love relationships= MENTORS a weird complex ) Initially I wanted to name this thread "dependency -love issues in the chart". But the theme-question here is intellectual stimulation & forming relationships (love relationships). It took 25 years for me to notice this...
Breakthrough!!!

Its not easy to detect it in my everyday life because I appear to be very independent in serious relationship decisions & a bit of loner (A LOT) & very specific about what I am searching in life and love.(One would describe me a woman who doesn't need anybody to tell her what to do..)

Subconsciously I am searching for a mentor type of lover & friend, someone "who will teach me things"...a guru maybe?? someone that possesses the same level of intellect & interests & will help my spiritual evolution (the next level). Even in my private journals there is this overall theme of finding a mentor & evolve through his teachings...Have someone to exchange heavy intellectual ping-pong... !!

I realize that makes me more un-relatable to the average boy-man of my age group (even more when I was younger) & makes me shut down the flirty side of myself quite often. I feel comfortable flirting with older men, significantly older (& really brainy that flirt is not just conventional flirt but a waterfall of ideas)...Again it took me so long to see this! To really detect whats going on backstage in my brain...

If I begin to sense that the other person is not my "equal" as a thinker I become indifferent (sexually) to them. When younger I've felt a but guilty over this...now not really! I 've never heard a similar opinion by a woman or a man!! (Only when I watch Sherlock, on BBC one! Scary comparison..) Have you seen this trait before in a woman? Would you consider this a dysfunction inherited from the behavioral patterns of my early environment?
What we truly want, if we're fortunate enough to stumble over it, isn't always what we thought we wanted, but on the other hand sometimes the ideas in our heads about what we really want are pretty prescient. Your self-analysis seems perceptive. But dysfunctional? Not necessarily. Oona O'Neill Chaplin had, as far as I know, a long and happy life with Charles. Two people with oddball tastes, as long as each is the unusual fit for the other's unusual criteria, are no more dysfunctional than more conventional pairings. The wife of the man featured in the book and movie "A Beautiful Mind", also had a long and fulfilling relationship, even considering the years her husband spent in a schizophrenic wilderness before his later-in-life remission. But if the kind of person one has a yen for is a rare type there might be a paucity of opportunities.

Quote:
In my natal Chart I feel this must be combination of Pisces Sun in the 9th Conjunct Venus & Aquarius-Mercury in the 8th. But then again there's no aspect between my Mercury & Venus! Or is this a Mars square Mercury to blame for wicked attitude towards attraction & love relationships? I have this tiny (HUGE) fear that this attitude can prevent me from experiencing a real- fulfilling relationship. Does my chart & progressions show if I can gain real fulfillment & not just intellectual (power play) fulfillment?
99% of astrology is fluff. Filler. Including signs, houses and progressions. Excluding only aspects and transits, about which we know only a little. We don't have a bunch of charts of women who fit the characteristics you described above, to check for similarities. But we do have you, or at least you do, your own history I mean. It would be interesting to know the dates or periods of episodes in which you felt or acted upon a strong attraction. That might give us some clues about which planets, if any, are relevant, and in what way.
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Unread 01-07-2015, 01:03 AM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

Everything about your `longing' for the right partner has been said, so I'll not add to that. What has already been mentioned is Juno. The placement - sign and house - of Juno will be what your soul requires, for whatever reason. I suspect the much of the idealising you have engaged in over time has been Neptune at work. Juno is what you will eventually choose at a soul level, because this is what you *need* in a committed partner - I'll link you to Bob Marks' page about Juno. Note the first sentence on the page - and it is true, even if you don't want it to be.

http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/Juno21.3.html
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Unread 01-07-2015, 05:05 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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Hi Tamara,
I don't know if you are still here....but I am glad you got so much from the book. I tell a lot of people about it...I don't know how many actually read it. Most of it is very practical information and common sense....of course when we are 'in love' sometimes we lose our "common sense." Right?
Somehow the rules fly out the window.

I found the hardest part was her list of the qualities you want from a partner....LOL....how many men have I ever met whose goals include becoming "better" people?
OR as she puts it "commitment to personal growth".
Or maybe even rarer...."emotional openness".....most men -anyway- that I have ever known are fixed in the emotional patterns...if they are open, they are open...but if they aren't they aren't going to become moreso.
those are really hard qualities to find.
LIN
Hello Lin I am here!
Its scary that we go through life not knowing our patterns...but its the norm.Very few people women-men know themselves(with bad traits & good included)...these people can evolve really I think...only then you can open up, if you know yourself you are not pretending or trying to impress anyone... Thanks Lin
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Unread 01-07-2015, 05:35 PM
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Re: Intellect & Sexual Attraction

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What we truly want, if we're fortunate enough to stumble over it, isn't always what we thought we wanted, but on the other hand sometimes the ideas in our heads about what we really want are pretty prescient. Your self-analysis seems perceptive. But dysfunctional? Not necessarily. Oona O'Neill Chaplin had, as far as I know, a long and happy life with Charles. Two people with oddball tastes, as long as each is the unusual fit for the other's unusual criteria, are no more dysfunctional than more conventional pairings. The wife of the man featured in the book and movie "A Beautiful Mind", also had a long and fulfilling relationship, even considering the years her husband spent in a schizophrenic wilderness before his later-in-life remission. But if the kind of person one has a yen for is a rare type there might be a paucity of opportunities.


99% of astrology is fluff. Filler. Including signs, houses and progressions. Excluding only aspects and transits, about which we know only a little. We don't have a bunch of charts of women who fit the characteristics you described above, to check for similarities. But we do have you, or at least you do, your own history I mean. It would be interesting to know the dates or periods of episodes in which you felt or acted upon a strong attraction. That might give us some clues about which planets, if any, are relevant, and in what way.
Wise words! I think, I remember a famous neon sign (art installation) that stated: "Protect me from what I want"...I am too harsh on myself..I am not really dysfunctional, I am a strong person that is not really afraid saying my opinion-be who I am- be unusually pretty (lol) but without a constant boyfriend that treats me like a pet or I treat him like a pet.....But there are moments of weakness where I am not really sure why I am so rare. I don't see women like me often, my common sense knows they exist.We exist.I love the "beautiful mind" couple...such a strong connection...I think are people afraid to be who they really are & blindly follow a pattern...especially young people.Thank you.
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