Random Thoughts, strictly Text

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Good idea, after I return from visiting my friend tonight I will but on some binaural beat music and relax. I read that line this morning about 11’s too and it rings true for me. I’ve come to desire being practical because it helps ground me. Things like cooking, cleaning, organising. The organising was taking it a bit far tbh but being practical and Earthy helps ground means gives me a sense of calm in the storm.

About the two-storey thing, I need a reason to do something. I’ve got to be emotionally connected to it to want to learn, which is why I’ve read more about Marilyn Monroe in 6 months than I have in about 5 years I’ve been interested in astrology. Mind you, I have to read books to get closer to Marilyn so I can learn about the smaller details of her life, whereas astrology is more about spirituality to me and I can learn about that by just thinking. But yeah the two-storey thing, I can’t force myself to study. I am studying a degree because I believe it is my purpose in life to become a spiritual teacher for children at school, since I became lost as hell at school and was only met with toxic home and authoritarian teachers for help. So I am building a skyscraper when really it would be easier to become a teacher because I have what it takes. But if I only cared about me having why it takes, I could have become a teacher 10 years ago.
 

david starling

Well-known member
The recommendation of calming music is a good one.
This is a nice line from the 11 story: “You can be very impractical, envisioning a skyscraper when all that was necessary was a two-story house.”

"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing!" -{:taurus:}. :biggrin:

[This saying has been around for over 20 years in my experience. But, a 2015 movie about Navy Seals co-opted it, and added the unnecessary, incongruous line, "Moderation is for cowards".]
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
All the more reason to look at 2-story dwellings then. Yesterday an architect I worked with, complimenting two other professionals we worked with, mentioned how frequently members of her profession can’t connect with the people who are going to live in their buildings. Teaching must be like that a little bit. You want to be able to witness, respect, and guide the soul of the child you work with. Some spiritual self work is required for that, but not so much that you end up depersonalizing the children.

Are you an architect? I don’t know if I have it in me to look at two-story dwellings. The closest I get to that is by doing housework because you can’t really make doing the dishes into a skyscraper, unless it is grounding your soul (just did it again). But yeah, maybe by putting less pressure on myself and learning to relax a bit.

I don’t think many people are emotionally connected to what they’re doing. It’s too easy for us to become fixed in our positions and create biases unless we use empathy, which comes from experiencing pain, but even after experiencing pain we can judge if we are no longer there. I know I have a bad habit of giving advice instead of hair listening.

My friend who I used to very close to has paranoid skitzophrenia but is like a very polite, artistic type. He’s really good at listening and I noticed I tend to want to ‘fix’ things, so I give advice which creates conflict sometimes. I will have a lot to learn, I will no doubt find it incredibly hard being a teacher and will face a lot of conflict, some because of my fixing tendencies and some because people won’t understand what I’m doing.
 

david starling

Well-known member
Are you an architect? I don’t know if I have it in me to look at two-story dwellings. The closest I get to that is by doing housework because you can’t really make doing the dishes into a skyscraper, unless it is grounding your soul (just did it again). But yeah, maybe by putting less pressure on myself and learning to relax a bit.

I don’t think many people are emotionally connected to what they’re doing. It’s too easy for us to become fixed in our positions and create biases unless we use empathy, which comes from experiencing pain, but even after experiencing pain we can judge if we are no longer there. I know I have a bad habit of giving advice instead of hair listening.

My friend who I used to very close to has paranoid skitzophrenia but is like a very polite, artistic type. He’s really good at listening and I noticed I tend to want to ‘fix’ things, so I give advice which creates conflict sometimes. I will have a lot to learn, I will no doubt find it incredibly hard being a teacher and will face a lot of conflict, some because of my fixing tendencies and some because people won’t understand what I’m doing.

There's gender-based (biased?) advice for men I've seen, about just listening to a woman describing a personal problem she's having, and not trying to fix it for her. Just listening is helping.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
There's gender-based (biased?) advice for men I've seen, about just listening to a woman describing a personal problem she's having, and not trying to fix it for her. Just listening is helping.

It could be a gender thing or a personality thing. I just know I find it really hard to just listen which is why I admire his quality so much. I NEED to help which can come across a bit judgemental. Actually, if it wasn’t for my chronic depression I would have been an intolerable advice giver. Depression and soul suffering really humbles you :lol: my friend is a natural healer. I guess I’m naturally a doer who has been disabled into wanting to help and trying to listen/not judge/fix/help. Which kind of describes my whole life conflict and how it’s begrudgingly meshing itself into hopefully a doer and a fixer. The confusion leads to inertia and mental gymnastics. And then another year passes lol.
 

moonkat235

Well-known member
Yeah, sometimes I give advice, but I'm really trying not to unless asked and when I do, I usually try to just explain what I see based off what they've been telling me. I've also given advice that has been more harmful than helpful I think, because I feel like I shouldn't plant seeds in the mind of friends/acquaintances when they're already floundering.

Like, if someone asks me if they should break up with someone and tells me all their struggles, I'm like 'I can't make that decision for you. Ultimately, you'll make your resolve either way, but that's a very personal thing for you and I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to persuade you either way.'
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Doing the dishes is good. I thought your description of school made a lot of sense. Your obligation isn’t to get it better -as a student- than the teachers, authors, curriculum who got it painfully wrong - it’s to get the credential and start practicing and living out the correction.

I’m not an architect myself though numerologically my “personality number” is 22 whatever that means.

Advice born of deep listening is one of my favorite things on earth.

I’ll read about 22 later, just about to leave, although what you just said reminds me of when you and David talked about you having Saturn Virgo 12th? That sounds like mental/spiritual architecture.
 

moonkat235

Well-known member
Idk, if someone's asking me a question like that, then I doubt they've made their resolve and personally the whole break-up, make-up thing I see going on looks toxic to me, so I try not to contribute to it.

A lot of times though I guess I do give advice, because I'll usually mention that they don't seem happy, so I only see the options of working through the issue or getting out of the issue.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Yeah, sometimes I give advice, but I'm really trying not to unless asked and when I do, I usually try to just explain what I see based off what they've been telling me. I've also given advice that has been more harmful than helpful I think, because I feel like I shouldn't plant seeds in the mind of friends/acquaintances when they're already floundering.

Like, if someone asks me if they should break up with someone and tells me all their struggles, I'm like 'I can't make that decision for you. Ultimately, you'll make your resolve either way, but that's a very personal thing for you and I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to persuade you either way.'

Do you think it’s an Aries/fire thing? Capricorn is probably a fixer rather than a listener too, although your Neptune will help with the compassion just like me.

I was talking to a girl earlier whose partner is an alcoholic optician who judges her for not being a professional. I told her I understand it’s easy for me to say when my feelings aren’t involved but the relationship soundless toxic from both sides and when she said he was the problem I said she was choosing to remain there. Just before I jumped in the bath I wrote to her ‘you better get your **** together before the universe forces you in January 2020 to do it for you,’ although I was meaning you in a general, plural sense. But it wasn’t very tactful lol
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Idk, if someone's asking me a question like that, then I doubt they've made their resolve and personally the whole break-up, make-up thing I see going on looks toxic to me, so I try not to contribute to it.

A lot of times though I guess I do give advice, because I'll usually mention that they don't seem happy, so I only see the options of working through the issue or getting out of the issue.

Yeah exactly, it feels too inauthentic or impersonal to not want to give advice and just passively listen plus sometimes I feel I get into a vampire situation when people just talk at me and I feel drained.
 

moonkat235

Well-known member
Yeah, I agree that silent emotional support can be helpful, like more helpful than giving advice that is more personal/applicable to your own life than to theirs.

Listening is always helpful.
 

moonkat235

Well-known member
I woke up about an hour ago from a very intense dream about superheroes and super villains and a school, where everyone was trying to be normal. The super villains were trying to get me to join their group, but I wound up with the super heroes when I finally escaped getting murdered by the villains. Everyone had these interesting powers and when I finally met the heroes, I was in a hospital and ran down a hallway and felt safe for the first time in the whole dream. It was fascinating and air was electrified when I met them.

I also drove to the school with this strange electric-like car. Like it was from the farm I was living at with my dream-version parents. The car looked almost like a normal car until the back half of the sedan released and inflated a giant globe-looking balloon and then out of the driver's window, a little inflatable midget man was attached to a string and the wind blew him in the direction I wanted to go.

I went to a high school in the last dream sequence before I woke up. The school had a farm building/stable-like thing and all the villains were there planning something. I walked in and they didn't realize I had joined the heroes and then I realized it was too dangerous, so I snuck out and got back in the inflatable electric car and went back to the farm.

Ugh, I wish I could remember what actually happened in the dream, I could fly, but not high enough and the leader of the villains had elastic arms and I didn't know that until I started to float/levitate/fly away from him on my childhood suburban-like street, but his arms shot out at me and I had to fly even further until he couldn't stretch his arms far enough. lol

There was so much more, like a whole saga/plot to it, but I can't remember anything really. Ugh, I should've recorded the dream right when I woke up. It was so exhilarating!
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Oh, that dream jogged my memory of a dream of my own. It was about a tarot deck that was water-themed, with animation that was a mixture between the diary of a wimpy kid series and Dr. Seuss
 

eekndyn

Well-known member
I woke up about an hour ago from a very intense dream about superheroes and super villains and a school, where everyone was trying to be normal. The super villains were trying to get me to join their group, but I wound up with the super heroes when I finally escaped getting murdered by the villains. Everyone had these interesting powers and when I finally met the heroes, I was in a hospital and ran down a hallway and felt safe for the first time in the whole dream. It was fascinating and air was electrified when I met them.

I also drove to the school with this strange electric-like car. Like it was from the farm I was living at with my dream-version parents. The car looked almost like a normal car until the back half of the sedan released and inflated a giant globe-looking balloon and then out of the driver's window, a little inflatable midget man was attached to a string and the wind blew him in the direction I wanted to go.

I went to a high school in the last dream sequence before I woke up. The school had a farm building/stable-like thing and all the villains were there planning something. I walked in and they didn't realize I had joined the heroes and then I realized it was too dangerous, so I snuck out and got back in the inflatable electric car and went back to the farm.

Ugh, I wish I could remember what actually happened in the dream, I could fly, but not high enough and the leader of the villains had elastic arms and I didn't know that until I started to float/levitate/fly away from him on my childhood suburban-like street, but his arms shot out at me and I had to fly even further until he couldn't stretch his arms far enough. lol

There was so much more, like a whole saga/plot to it, but I can't remember anything really. Ugh, I should've recorded the dream right when I woke up. It was so exhilarating!

Whoa. Sounds like a pretty cool dream
 
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