attracting the "married ones" why oh why??

lucyluirod · Dec 12, 2012

I met and made a connection with this guy back in august and he showed lots of interest yet kept giving me "mixed signals" so got so confused

.
We went out a couple of times and he said he was destined to meet me...
I sat back and waited for him to make the moves and reveal more information. I waited and waited......
Today I find out he is married yet possibly seperated, well I not even sure he is seperated, he doesnt really interact with his wife except in the business.
In the beginning he told me he was single???!!!
I wrote him a letter and asked for clarity about whether he wants contact or even if hes single, but no response
so I sms him to say I now feel mislead and have no response, I was very civil and wished him well.
Is there anything in my chart or transits on why I keep attracting these "types" the last 4 men Ive attracted have been going through divorce or married. Confused fish :innocent:

How can I overcome attracting these types of men?
Its soooo disappointing and a waste of my time.
thanks everybody for clarity about this, :smile:

lucyluirod · Dec 12, 2012

Actually I will have a go at dilleneating this with my very limited knowledge

Saturn is transiting 7th house in scorpio so restricitions and secrets around relationships??
Natally venus and sun conjunct in 12 house so restricitions and undoing of relationships even before they begin?
Or is that sun combust saturn in 12th so that cancels out any potential relationships?
Not what else to add but gave it my best shot, could be way off but anyone care to correct me and add, please do :smile:

starstudent33 · Dec 12, 2012

It's your ascendant. Men perceive you as attractive, alluring (Venus rising); wanting to lead them into
a relationship (Venus Aries) and initiate contact (Venus Aries). They think you are even pushy (Aries)
and controlling (Saturn) about getting a relationship started (Venus Aries). They think you are looking
out for yourself (Saturn) and wise enough to know what you're getting yourself into (Saturn). This is
their excuse for carrying on a realtionship that they know is wrong.

The truth is, you're a very sensitive person (Sun Moon Pisces, Neptune Scorpio). You sense their
strong attraction to you or their feelings of loneliness or unhappiness, and you want to approach
them with compassion (Pisces). That's not how they perceive you, though. They're looking at your
ascendant.

You're going to have to be especially cautious about the men that approach you. You could easily be
perceived as someone who is wise and cautious about relationships (Saturn conj. Venus conj. Asc.)
This might put the brakes on their plans to deceive you; although your tendency to seem naive (Aries)
and idealistic (Pisces Sun semisextile Asc.) could cause them to dismiss thier worries.

If I were you, I'd go ahead and do some investigating to find out if they're married before I got involved.

lucyluirod · Dec 12, 2012

Appreciate you taking the time to help me with this problem :smile:

starstudent33 said:
It's your ascendant. Men perceive you as attractive, alluring (Venus rising); wanting to lead them into
a relationship (Venus Aries) and initiate contact (Venus Aries). They think you are even pushy (Aries)
and controlling (Saturn) about getting a relationship started (Venus Aries). They think you are looking
out for yourself (Saturn) and wise enough to know what you're getting yourself into (Saturn). This is
their excuse for carrying on a realtionship that they know is wrong.

This probably true but we never got into a relationship, he made it clear he was interested and attracted to me but then pulled away and got nasty with me if Id see him at work. (we did go out a couple of times) but he always had his friend tag along. I was trying to get to the truth of whether he was single/married/seperated but he was so evasive. I didnt push him to go out with me, I just asked for clarity. I saw him as a guy who was really unhappy and needed to wake up and do something about his life and offered advice but he was so scared to even listen. So I offered friendship but still no response from him.

The truth is, you're a very sensitive person (Sun Moon Pisces, Neptune Scorpio). You sense their
strong attraction to you or their feelings of loneliness or unhappiness, and you want to approach
them with compassion (Pisces). That's not how they perceive you, though. They're looking at your
ascendant.

I did approach him with friendship and compassion but that scared him even more, I saw myself in the same situation many years ago, unhappy and letting people walk all over me so I could relate to his situation.

You're going to have to be especially cautious about the men that approach you. You could easily be
perceived as someone who is wise and cautious about relationships (Saturn conj. Venus conj. Asc.)
This might put the brakes on their plans to deceive you; although your tendency to seem naive (Aries)
and idealistic (Pisces Sun semisextile Asc.) could cause them to dismiss thier worries.

Ive never had a relationship that has ever gotten off the ground, I eventually find out they have too many problems and committment issues or they are attracted but then realise that I demand openess and honesty with me and dont want to put in the effort of a relationship

If I were you, I'd go ahead and do some investigating to find out if they're married before I got involved.

Yes true, some men can be very deceptive or so wounded but want a distraction to take their mind off the wounds. (in my experience)

Thankyou starstudent for helping me understand my chart, what you wrote is so true and accurate. Still how do I not attract these types of men in the future? this is a lesson for me which I want to overcome

starstudent33 · Dec 12, 2012

You need to understand that you are extremely sensitive. I had a good friend who was a double Pisces
like you, so I'm familiar with this. You think you can just approach people about the feelings you
sense from them, but they are shocked and even in total disbelief that you can even sense feelings.
They thought that their feelings were their very own private thoughts, unknown to anyone else.
Very few people can sense feelings as well as you can. You're going to have to try to tone down
your perceptiveness and give them some space to pretend that their feelings are unknown to you.
Once they realize you are willing to ignore your perceptiveness when they want you to, they will
feel more comfortable with your sensitivity and be willing to discuss their feelings with you.

You've got Saturn conjunct Venus. Saturn can cause delays or denials in relationships. It may be
that there's a married man who really is getting separated and wants a divorce, and there's poten-
tial for you to have a relationship with him, but there's going to be a delay. I think what you're
attracting is guys who think there will be a delay in your relationship. This guy you were seeing,
he may have been thinking that. Or, he may have been a shallow person who just wanted to
create some drama. He may have thought he needed to make a display about his attraction to
you because you are so easily recognized by everyone as being attractive and alluring (Venus
rising).

starstudent33 · Dec 12, 2012

Hey, forgive me for being slow to catch on. I see what you're wanting now--to
stop wasting time in relationships. I think I've got just the solution but give me until morning, ok? I've got to run.

lucyluirod · Dec 12, 2012

starstudent33 said:
You need to understand that you are extremely sensitive. I had a good friend who was a double Pisces
like you, so I'm familiar with this. You think you can just approach people about the feelings you
sense from them, but they are shocked and even in total disbelief that you can even sense feelings.
They thought that their feelings were their very own private thoughts, unknown to anyone else.
Very few people can sense feelings as well as you can. You're going to have to try to tone down
your perceptiveness and give them some space to pretend that their feelings are unknown to you.
Once they realize you are willing to ignore your perceptiveness when they want you to, they will
feel more comfortable with your sensitivity and be willing to discuss their feelings with you.

Ah ok Im starting to understand now, my perceptiveness might scare potential partners, I dont really want to be obvious but its just inate in me and I can read most people without trying to (actually its annoying for me, just would like to switch this off sometimes)
Ive always wondered why people are scared of me, now that makes sense, cos I see through all the bs and it unerves potential partners.
It is possible he is going through a divorce from the some things he has said but I asked him for clarity and hw wouldnt respond so Im still unsure.
"Do you think this is the wrong thing to do?" given that he showed interest and now is just a very private person.
Actually I was told by a medium it will happen but there will be a long wait and the man wont approach you untill hes clear.
I mean how long should you wait for someone, theres a possibility nothing will happen, this is the most frustrating thing and the lack of communication from him.
argghh, the story of my life, delays and disappointments

Blessings to you starstudent

starstudent33 · Dec 13, 2012

I have this great formula that can tell you how many potential marriage partners you have in this lifetime. It's a formula that's been around for centuries, I don't know who originated it. I used it on myself and my sister, and it worked out perfectly. Let's see if this guy might be a potential marriage for you.
The formula says to see how many applying aspects the natal Sun makes before it leaves a sign. Only sextile, trine, and conjunction count. Square or opposition indicates that you will want him to marry you, but the marriage will never take place. Looks like you have only one potential marriage. Neptune in Scorpio--Trine. There's no squares or oppositions.
Now the question is, is this guy Neptune in Scorpio? If he is, he's either Scorpio rising, Pisces rising (ruled by Neptune), or his occupation and position in life are described by Neptune in Scorpio. In other words, he's a sailor, a psychic investigator, spiritual researcher, musical or artistic researcher, or something else that describes Neptune in Scorpio in a very literal way. I'd like to have a look at his chart, if possible.

lucyluirod · Dec 13, 2012

starstudent33 said:
I have this great formula that can tell you how many potential marriage partners you have in this lifetime. It's a formula that's been around for centuries, I don't know who originated it. I used it on myself and my sister, and it worked out perfectly. Let's see if this guy might be a potential marriage for you.
The formula says to see how many applying aspects the natal Sun makes before it leaves a sign. Only sextile, trine, and conjunction count. Square or opposition indicates that you will want him to marry you, but the marriage will never take place. Looks like you have only one potential marriage. Neptune in Scorpio--Trine. There's no squares or oppositions.
Now the question is, is this guy Neptune in Scorpio? If he is, he's either Scorpio rising, Pisces rising (ruled by Neptune), or his occupation and position in life are described by Neptune in Scorpio. In other words, he's a sailor, a psychic investigator, spiritual researcher, musical or artistic researcher, or something else that describes Neptune in Scorpio in a very literal way. I'd like to have a look at his chart, if possible.

Very interesting, hes tauras rising, with neptune in scorpio, have attached his chart, does it give a time frame for marriage or committment? on my chart to someone?

starstudent33 · Dec 13, 2012

Based on this chart, I don't think he's your Neptune in Scorpio guy. Yeah sure, he has Nep. In Sco.
in his natal chart, but so does everyone born between 1955 and 1970. It has to be extremely
prominent in the way I described above, and it isn't. However, he could be a guy who is play-
ing the role of Ne. in Sco. in his life for some reason. What is his occupation? What kind of guy
would you say he was? I just want to be doubly sure he's not the guy before I tell you about
your Venus returns, which could tell us when you're going to meet someone and/or get married.

lucyluirod · Dec 13, 2012

starstudent33 said:
Based on this chart, I don't think he's your Neptune in Scorpio guy. Yeah sure, he has Nep. In Sco.
in his natal chart, but so does everyone born between 1955 and 1970. It has to be extremely
prominent in the way I described above, and it isn't. However, he could be a guy who is play-
ing the role of Ne. in Sco. in his life for some reason. What is his occupation? What kind of guy
would you say he was? I just want to be doubly sure he's not the guy before I tell you about
your Venus returns, which could tell us when you're going to meet someone and/or get married.

Oh well, he might not be the one but we do have a very strong karmic connection or spirititual bond. Hes in a similar industry to me, Im more on the health and wellness side and his business is hairdressing, we share some of the same clients, thats how we met.
His personality I would say is very vibrant but actually quite shy, he has a public face due to his work but in reality hes very sensitive and kind/compassionate person. Hes very creative with his work and always has new ideas for business, I have approached him about combining or at least working some of our busineses together but he hasnt heard or listened to what Im proposing yet. He can ve very reactive and difficult to get an answer from as he likes to take his time analysing everything then it can be months later and hes still thinking about it.
His persona is very likeable, everyone likes him but he does have a short temper and does not have good boundaries with people, people take advantage of him. He is generous with his friends and wants everyone to be happy, but he is very naieve too.

Im very interested in hearing about venus returns as I think it might give me some hope about meeting someone significant.

Thankyou so much starstudent for taking your time to help me and giving me such clear information. Totally grateful, you give me hope about meeting somebody.

astralrabbit · Dec 13, 2012

Something very important to notice is the Yod. The finger of god aspect.

Pluto inconjunct your venus, and neptune inconjunct your venus as well. That may be of some significance considering venus is posited in the 12th house and also in disharmonious relationship with the ruler of that house.

The energy of these two planets are being funneled into venus from your 5 to 8th house. Other peoples values which are obscured from your mind (neptune/venus) when you have hopes of more. How would you be able to become aware of that during the phase of potential hopes? (pluto/venus) That is probably a good question to meditate upon and find the answers with in.

starstudent33 · Dec 14, 2012

Have you ever been married? If so, I'd be interested to see his chart. I've
been assuming that you're still looking for that Neptune in Scorpio guy,
but maybe you already met, married, and divorced or were widowed by
him.

Now for your Venus return:

Natal Ascendant trine VR Vertex: You could easily have a fated meeting
VR AC-DC conjunct VR nodal axis: Potential partners will envision a future
with you. Taurus rising, ruler Venus Aries 11th conjunct Mars Sun:
They see you a steadfast and trustworthy and ready to initiate
a relationship which represents some important changes in your friendship.
Moon opposition Saturn: Someone is creating limitations or delays
in an authoritative and dominating way, and it's in conflict with your feel-
ings. Venus stellium 11th: Joining a group of friends or an organization
will improve your social life and your chances of meeting the right person.

Here are the dates when the fated meeting is most likely to take place (give or
take a few days):

Jan 9, 2013
Feb. 26, 2013
April 15, 2013
June 27, 2013
Sept. 11, 2013
Nov. 5, 2013

lucyluirod · Dec 14, 2012

starstudent33 said:
Have you ever been married? If so, I'd be interested to see his chart. I've
been assuming that you're still looking for that Neptune in Scorpio guy,
but maybe you already met, married, and divorced or were widowed by
him.

Now for your Venus return:

Natal Ascendant trine VR Vertex: You could easily have a fated meeting
VR AC-DC conjunct VR nodal axis: Potential partners will envision a future
with you. Taurus rising, ruler Venus Aries 11th conjunct Mars Sun:
They see you a steadfast and trustworthy and ready to initiate
a relationship which represents some important changes in your friendship.
Moon opposition Saturn: Someone is creating limitations or delays
in an authoritative and dominating way, and it's in conflict with your feel-
ings. Venus stellium 11th: Joining a group of friends or an organization
will improve your social life and your chances of meeting the right person.

Here are the dates when the fated meeting is most likely to take place (give or
take a few days):

Jan 9, 2013
Feb. 26, 2013
April 15, 2013
June 27, 2013
Sept. 11, 2013
Nov. 5, 2013

No have never been married or in a serious committed relationship, Im a late starter, saturn influence :andy:

Taurus rising, ruler Venus Aries 11th conjunct Mars Sun:
They see you a steadfast and trustworthy and ready to initiate
a relationship which represents some important changes in your friendship.
Are you referring to rrfs chart?

Moon opposition Saturn: Someone is creating limitations or delays
in an authoritative and dominating way, and it's in conflict with your feel-
ings
If you mean rrf he does have a friend who sabotages all his friendships/relationships or it could be rrf himself creating delays.

Do you think rrf will come into romantic relationship with me in future if he is available?

Thanks starstudent you are a star

I will meditate and put my intentions out there for a happy committed romantic relationship

starstudent33 · Dec 14, 2012

Your solar return chart also shows things are looking good for finding a lasting
love relationship this year, assuming that's what you're looking for.

Moon trine Venus--easy to fulfill your emotional needs with a relationship. Pluto
trine Jupiter--Power gained from new knowledge creates abundance and luck in
relationships. Mars trine Jupiter, Pluto--industrious and calculating actions in
solitude easily increase partnerships and social contacts, make use of powerful
knowledge. Jupiter conjunct Venus--abundance, luck, optimism in relationships.
Rules ascendant in Libra--you are amorous and socially pleasing, and optimistic
about romance. Saturn conjunct ascendant--limitations or delays in your social
life. Moon, Pluto opposition MC--an authority figure is in conflict with your
feelings and your power.

Yes, Saturn/an authority figure is causing problems again. But its influence is not
strong enough to deny the relationship.

starstudent33 · Dec 14, 2012

I'm realizing that I never answered your original question, "How do I stop attracting
this type of person?" It's because I had to think about it for a while. I've actually
had to deal with something very similar to what you're talking about.

Women with Venus on an angle always have this problem. Men make a big deal out of
how attracted they are to you, and act like they're ready to start a relationship. Then,
rudely and with no explanation, they just disappear. It's like they just wanted to hurt
your feelings. You wonder why they would want to do that.
I think it's not really anything you did. It's the media, always pushing the idea on our
population that people with perfect looks or social popularity are better than anyone else.
It makes a lot of ordinary-looking, socially-challenged people feel insecure.
You might be able to put a stop to these kinds of frustrating relationships if you'd ap-
proach people with the idea in mind that your tremendous beauty and/or social skill
may cause them to feel insecure. It would probably help if you'd try to tone down your
looks and sociability to give some space to the people who are more socially clumsy.

starstudent33 · Dec 14, 2012

Ok, now I saw your post from two hours ago. No, this isn't rrf's chart. I'm
looking at YOUR Venus return for this year. I think you should forget about
rrf. He's not the guy you're going to marry, and you have a really good
chance of meeting the guy you're going to marry this year. You need to
find the guy who's Neptune in Scorpio: in other words, he needs to be
a Scorpio or Pisces rising, or have Neptune in Scorpio conjunct his ascen-
dant or very prominently placed in his first house. That's the general rule.
There could be a few exceptions, such as a person whose occupation is
a very literal example of Neptune in Scorpio, and who shows strong love
compatibility with you in synastry.

As for the authority figure, it could be the new guy you're going to meet, or
it could be some other authority figure. I doubt it's rrf, especially if you de-
tach yourself from him. Of course, I suppose he could try to create some
jealous melodrama, and then it would be him.

lucyluirod · Dec 15, 2012

starstudent33 said:
I'm realizing that I never answered your original question, "How do I stop attracting
this type of person?" It's because I had to think about it for a while. I've actually
had to deal with something very similar to what you're talking about.
Interesting how did you change this paterrn, attracting the unavailables?
Was it a concious decision or did you have a different expectation?

lucyluirod · Dec 15, 2012

starstudent33 said:
I'm realizing that I never answered your original question, "How do I stop attracting
this type of person?" It's because I had to think about it for a while. I've actually
had to deal with something very similar to what you're talking about.

Women with Venus on an angle always have this problem. Men make a big deal out of
how attracted they are to you, and act like they're ready to start a relationship. Then,
rudely and with no explanation, they just disappear. It's like they just wanted to hurt
your feelings. You wonder why they would want to do that.
I think it's not really anything you did. It's the media, always pushing the idea on our
population that people with perfect looks or social popularity are better than anyone else.
It makes a lot of ordinary-looking, socially-challenged people feel insecure.
You might be able to put a stop to these kinds of frustrating relationships if you'd ap-
proach people with the idea in mind that your tremendous beauty and/or social skill
may cause them to feel insecure. It would probably help if you'd try to tone down your
looks and sociability to give some space to the people who are more socially clumsy.

I wouldnt say Im very social, Im actually very shy but radiant alot of warmth as thats my nature, so not really relating to the social/popularity thing, I would like to be that but im more of a loner/independant personality. I will meditate and not have too many expectations straight away on potential love relationships.
Blessings to you starstudent :smile:

lucyluirod · Dec 15, 2012

starstudent33 said:
Your solar return chart also shows things are looking good for finding a lasting
love relationship this year, assuming that's what you're looking for.

Moon trine Venus--easy to fulfill your emotional needs with a relationship. Pluto
trine Jupiter--Power gained from new knowledge creates abundance and luck in
relationships. Mars trine Jupiter, Pluto--industrious and calculating actions in
solitude easily increase partnerships and social contacts, make use of powerful
knowledge. Jupiter conjunct Venus--abundance, luck, optimism in relationships.
Rules ascendant in Libra--you are amorous and socially pleasing, and optimistic
about romance. Saturn conjunct ascendant--limitations or delays in your social
life. Moon, Pluto opposition MC--an authority figure is in conflict with your
feelings and your power.

Yes, Saturn/an authority figure is causing problems again. But its influence is not
strong enough to deny the relationship.

Solar return sounds promising, will study those aspects so I can understand them more Actually I think 2013 is more promising for me as Ive finalised alot of baggage and lessons over the last decade, Im sure theres always more but I feel Ive let go of alot of negative karma/patterns. That can only mean there is room for more positive relationships/attachments :happy:

Alot of what you have said has resonated with me, you have got a rreally easy and clear way of explaining and putting your info across (starstudent) so I can ponder and get some answers from myself.

attracting the "married ones" why oh why??

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