I would be grateful if someone wouldn't mind taking a gander at my chart. I'll do my best to provide some background information about myself, and I'm hoping that your interpretation can help me make sense of some of the things that have happened to me, and maybe even offer suggestions of what my future may hold.
I'm 26, and I haven't really done anything yet. Much of my early life has been predicated by severe depression and anxiety. I've certainly made strides with my mental health, and I would consider myself to be as close to being legitimately happy as ever before. My best days are seemingly ahead of me.
My early teens were a confusing time because I wanted to find true love more than anything, yet I was just about the only person who was never dating. Within a few years, I chalked that up to me having extremely high expectations while not being worthy of the things I was dreaming about. I became a perfectionist, and more or less forced myself to accept that I probably wouldn't live my dream until I had eliminated all of my perceived flaws. Basically, I became The Great Gatsby.
So, I tortured myself for a few years with a lot of fantasy about "larger than life" careers with very little action on my part. and nothing happened. I eventually became a little more practical, and went to college, but that didn't go particularly well. My grades were exceptional, and I put in a lot of effort, but I was miserable, and felt no passion for what I was doing. I was still a perfectionist, and was still extrinsically motivated in my career path that I essentially viewed as a prerequisite to finding love. After facing some personal tragedy, I finally had enough and dropped out.
It was then that I seemingly found everything I had always wanted. At the age of 25 - which felt incredibly old at the time, but quickly started to feel like a young age for one to be on top of the world - I found what felt like true love. I met her on this very site actually. It was an amazing feeling because she was able to assure me that she loved me for who I was, even at a time when I felt like I was far from being "ready" to be loved. Then, she dumped me 2 months later.
I always thought that I would be crushed if I were in a relationship that failed, but it was quite the opposite. I gained a lot of perspective from the situation, and I eased off of my "the-grass-must-be-greener-elsewhere" kind of mindset. I feel more at peace with myself and my current situation, and the concept of true love ultimately failed me and proved untrustworthy. I still want to connect with someone, and I still value doing so more than anything else I could possibly do with myself, but I don't feel nearly as hopeless.
I've started to think about what I could do to make some extra money while being entirely at peace with what I'm doing. I do not feel the need to become anything close to "rich," but my life would certainly be better with some extra spending cash. I'm thinking that I'm best suited to find success in some sort of self-employment situation, preferably one where I'm able to create entertaining content, such that a Youtube personality might create. I'm drawn to the idea of working from the comfort of my own home, away from people, without any kind of schedule, and I'm drawn to the idea of utilizing my creativity in a way that would make people laugh. I'm curious to know what my chart might have to say about all of that.
As far as love goes, well, I think this entire post was motivated by the fact that I've been talking to someone online for the last few days. Ignorance was bliss before I met her a few days ago, but now that I'm talking to someone, I think I'm a little bit more motivated to take initiative in my life. It's too early to determine whether or not I'm going to date this girl or not (she is extremely tough to read,) but overall, I'm pessimistic about our chances. If my chart has anything to say about when might be a good time for me to connect with someone, and/or what I should look for, I would definitely love to know about it.
I thank anyone who takes the time to read all of this, and I really appreciate any advice that you may have.
I'm 26, and I haven't really done anything yet. Much of my early life has been predicated by severe depression and anxiety. I've certainly made strides with my mental health, and I would consider myself to be as close to being legitimately happy as ever before. My best days are seemingly ahead of me.
My early teens were a confusing time because I wanted to find true love more than anything, yet I was just about the only person who was never dating. Within a few years, I chalked that up to me having extremely high expectations while not being worthy of the things I was dreaming about. I became a perfectionist, and more or less forced myself to accept that I probably wouldn't live my dream until I had eliminated all of my perceived flaws. Basically, I became The Great Gatsby.
So, I tortured myself for a few years with a lot of fantasy about "larger than life" careers with very little action on my part. and nothing happened. I eventually became a little more practical, and went to college, but that didn't go particularly well. My grades were exceptional, and I put in a lot of effort, but I was miserable, and felt no passion for what I was doing. I was still a perfectionist, and was still extrinsically motivated in my career path that I essentially viewed as a prerequisite to finding love. After facing some personal tragedy, I finally had enough and dropped out.
It was then that I seemingly found everything I had always wanted. At the age of 25 - which felt incredibly old at the time, but quickly started to feel like a young age for one to be on top of the world - I found what felt like true love. I met her on this very site actually. It was an amazing feeling because she was able to assure me that she loved me for who I was, even at a time when I felt like I was far from being "ready" to be loved. Then, she dumped me 2 months later.
I always thought that I would be crushed if I were in a relationship that failed, but it was quite the opposite. I gained a lot of perspective from the situation, and I eased off of my "the-grass-must-be-greener-elsewhere" kind of mindset. I feel more at peace with myself and my current situation, and the concept of true love ultimately failed me and proved untrustworthy. I still want to connect with someone, and I still value doing so more than anything else I could possibly do with myself, but I don't feel nearly as hopeless.
I've started to think about what I could do to make some extra money while being entirely at peace with what I'm doing. I do not feel the need to become anything close to "rich," but my life would certainly be better with some extra spending cash. I'm thinking that I'm best suited to find success in some sort of self-employment situation, preferably one where I'm able to create entertaining content, such that a Youtube personality might create. I'm drawn to the idea of working from the comfort of my own home, away from people, without any kind of schedule, and I'm drawn to the idea of utilizing my creativity in a way that would make people laugh. I'm curious to know what my chart might have to say about all of that.
As far as love goes, well, I think this entire post was motivated by the fact that I've been talking to someone online for the last few days. Ignorance was bliss before I met her a few days ago, but now that I'm talking to someone, I think I'm a little bit more motivated to take initiative in my life. It's too early to determine whether or not I'm going to date this girl or not (she is extremely tough to read,) but overall, I'm pessimistic about our chances. If my chart has anything to say about when might be a good time for me to connect with someone, and/or what I should look for, I would definitely love to know about it.
I thank anyone who takes the time to read all of this, and I really appreciate any advice that you may have.
