Very sociable and desperate for love affairs

bgb

Well-known member
Hi
I work with a friend and she is very chatty and sociable and really nice person BUT on her darker side she has uncontrollable need for physical "pleasure" with the opposite sex, which seems to be a bit concerning to me.

Is it normal that she feels so strongly the need to be in relationship (without choosing carefully) the men?
She sometimes acts provocative and i don't know if she realize it

She is always looking for love-affairs and engage with men who are younger and not ready to commit. Considering her age that really doesn't give her good reputation.

Sometimes i try to stop her getting involved in such affairs but she pushes me away and discard my opinion and being rude and arrogant.

What can I do to help her?
Reading her chart, she has so many aspects involving love, partner and intimacy.
I really need help here to get her mind away and to involve her in something where she will be away from drama and scandals in her love life.
 

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ElenaJ

Well-known member
In general terms, this type of behaviour could stem from insecurity, or from a lack of ethical values.
What strikes me is another aspect to your comments.
"I really need to help her to get her..."
Why? what is your interest in her or her relationships?
Why do you feel compelled to interfere in her behaviour? Are you in love with her? Are your related to her?
What is motivating you in this?Why do you have to impose your way of seeing things and of being, onto her?
Can you clarify this?
 

PurpleReign

Well-known member
Hi,

She has Venus conj Uranus, which can suggest many short-term relationships, or relationships that begin and end quite quickly. Uranus may even suggest desire for younger partners. In addition to this, she has Jupiter in the 7th, which can indicate many relationships and attraction to having a variety of partners. Neptune in the 7th may indicate delusion in love, where a person may wear rose-colored glasses and not necessarily see faults in another person or the downside to a relationship with a certain individual, etc. It can also mean a person is a hopeless romantic.

Mars in the 7th may indicate she is passionate about relationships and the opposite sex. A full 7th house does imply she has a focus on relationships.

Additionally, if she's only 34/35, so I'm not sure why you're implying she's decrepit and can't enjoy the company of someone younger.

With all that being said, I don't care if she's your friend, cousin, sister, or whoever, her personal life (and what others think of it) is absolutely none of your business and you have no right to change her mind or change her. She's an adult who can make her own decisions regarding her private life and relationships. If she wants to line them up and have a different one every day of the week, that is her personal business and you have no say in it. She's not your child or your wife, so I don't understand why you seem obsessed with the idea of changing her.

If she was doing something dangerous, I can see why as a friend you'd caution her, but going any further than that is simply over-stepping boundaries. I want the best for my friends too but I'm not going to try to control their life in order to make them conform to my idea of what's acceptable behavior or not. Who am I to do that?
 

bgb

Well-known member
Hey
You are right, I may not have rights to interfere, which I will probably stop doing from now on. The problem is the parents have very traditional views about relationship and her behaviourr reflects very negatively on them.
Her relationship is an important as much as her family one.
And if she enjoy such short afairs her parents are concerned that she might not have long committed partner or kids, which from their point of view is very understandable.
She is very playful in her talking manners and she turn men on. But attracting is on physical level (physical pleasure it is the first interest men show towards her) and one relationship cannot be long if that's so.
 

PurpleReign

Well-known member
Hey
You are right, I may not have rights to interfere, which I will probably stop doing from now on. The problem is the parents have very traditional views about relationship and her behaviourr reflects very negatively on them.
Her relationship is an important as much as her family one.
And if she enjoy such short afairs her parents are concerned that she might not have long committed partner or kids, which from their point of view is very understandable.
She is very playful in her talking manners and she turn men on. But attracting is on physical level (physical pleasure it is the first interest men show towards her) and one relationship cannot be long if that's so.

I understand and I think that the cultural aspect of it makes it a more complicated issue. But it's still out of your hands and even out of her parent's views. She's a woman in her 30s and not a wild child of 16. Her parents, as traditional as they are, are going to have to accept that. I can understand that being extremely hard for them because of the values that they were raised to have, but again, she is a woman in her 30s.

If she chooses to not marry, have kids, or even be in a long-term relationship, then she won't. She is old enough to make her own choices in life even if they seem like bad choices to others. It sounds like she enjoys brief affairs and flirtation. If that is what she likes, it will be impossible to force her to change herself. It is who she is and what she likes regardless of how other's feel about it. It's her life. If you've spoken to her about this before, that's all you can do. Anything else, like I said, is over-stepping boundaries and it is not your place to interfere in this woman's life.

And as much as her parents love her and want her to settle down, if she doesn't want to, they can't make her. It's just going to have to be a hurdle they need to find a way to get over. Not everyone necessarily wants to be married and have kids. Maybe she will want that in the future, but for now she's made it clear she isn't interested.
 
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