ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
It's funny that you said that for the Venus person it's like a drug addiction because that's really how it feels. I don't know sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming.
Venus opposition Pluto in synastry
- Thread starter ChildOfVenus
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Abby83
Well-known member
Actually come to think of it, with my mother in law hate relationship, it feels like she is obsessed with me and cant keep away from me, that's why I find her so annoying. Im the pluto person and she is the venus and yeah, she seems addicted to me and it's overwhelming.
ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
Did you still want to talk to him though? Even though the two of you argued?
ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
I'm saying that it feels overwhelming to the Venus person. Because Venus is usually the one who really desires Pluto. I would also assume that this aspect may play out differently. When it's between a man and woman who are involved with each other.
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jkxx74
Premium Member
I'd say it's more that Pluto can start caring about Venus too much which depending on the rest of their personality can lead either to manipulating Venus (or keeping tabs on him/her) or realizing they are dealing with something above and beyond whatever they had imagined previously and going along in some more constructive way.
I've joked about this calling it "like being on crack" but yes, it very much is.
ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
I hate being Venus it makes me crazy and I don't know what to do about it.
jkxx74
Premium Member
I would suggest trying to take charge of the situation so whatever you identify that's particularly upsetting you can try to bring it up and talk it over with your partner. Worst case you'll get some relief from having brought it out into the open (and there may be a positive surprise twist happening as a result of that.)
GeminiGrrl
Well-known member
One of the proverbial crosses I bear when it comes to my own chart is that I have Venus in Gemini square Pluto in Virgo natally -- at a very wide orb (nine degrees), but it apparently still counts according to Astro.com and most other sources I've found. What this unfortunately means is that my Venus also squares the Pluto of virtually every person of my generation (some more so than others) because Pluto moves so very slowly. This is a real @#$%^&* drag, not to put too fine a point on it. Needless to say, it creates difficulty for me when it comes to relationships with people my own age -- and not only romantic ones. When two people have Venus-Pluto aspects in synastry, the Pluto person is usually the one who's regarded as having the upper hand -- this seems to have been a recurring theme for me when it comes to relationships with the result that I've often felt friends and lovers have either taken me for granted or have taken advantage of me, and I HATE it. (I've also frequently found myself attracted to men who aren't attracted to me in return.) I've made a lot of strides when it comes to acknowledging and restraining the controlling aspects and manipulative behavior of natal Venus square Pluto, but it hasn't been easy -- even though I know that the urge to control people is not healthy, when I'm aware of the impulse and consciously short-circuit it, it nonetheless often seems to me as if I'm giving most of my power (what little I feel I have of it) away. To really put the icing on the cake, I also have Venus inconjunct my Ascendant at very close orb -- so when I meet anyone whose planets form a soft aspect with my Venus, those same planets will probably form hard aspects with my Ascendant as well as my Pluto. Really, it's no wonder that I'm sometimes tempted to think perhaps I'm simply fated to be alone (or would be better off alone) whether I want to be or not.
The most obvious solution to this problem is to seek friends and lovers who are either quite a bit older or quite a bit younger since I'm less likely to run into conflicts between my Venus and their Pluto (although any of their planets which aspect my Venus will probably still aspect my Pluto) -- and indeed, one of my longest romantic relationships to date was with a man nineteen years older than me. I've read that another possible solution would be to look for people who also have Venus square Pluto in their own natal charts because then at least they would be struggling with the same thing and might at least be able to relate to my experience -- meaning someone in my generation with Venus in either Gemini or Sagittarius, because then not only would their Venus square my Pluto (forming a mutual reception) but it would put their Venus in either my first or seventh house. Venus in Sagittarius might be better because that wouldn't form a harsh aspect with my Ascendant (but when it comes to romantic relationships, Venus in Sagittarius is known for having issues with commitment and sometimes even fidelity). Another solution would be to seek out people of my own generation with their Venus in an earth sign since that would resonate with my Pluto better and potentially create a mutual reception even while forming a hard aspect with my Venus -- hard Venus-Venus aspects are still quite significant for attraction, and I think they're a little easier to manage than hard Venus-Pluto aspects. As it happens, the last man I had a relationship with was a couple of years younger than me and had his Venus in an earth sign. My Venus squared his Pluto (natch) at close orb and I felt -- still feel -- that I invested more emotionally in the relationship than he did. The impression that I usually got from him was "come here -- go away." However, his Venus was in Taurus and formed a nice trine with my Pluto so we had mutual reception and even though the romantic aspect of our relationship didn't last long, we were able to maintain a friendship afterward.
The most obvious solution to this problem is to seek friends and lovers who are either quite a bit older or quite a bit younger since I'm less likely to run into conflicts between my Venus and their Pluto (although any of their planets which aspect my Venus will probably still aspect my Pluto) -- and indeed, one of my longest romantic relationships to date was with a man nineteen years older than me. I've read that another possible solution would be to look for people who also have Venus square Pluto in their own natal charts because then at least they would be struggling with the same thing and might at least be able to relate to my experience -- meaning someone in my generation with Venus in either Gemini or Sagittarius, because then not only would their Venus square my Pluto (forming a mutual reception) but it would put their Venus in either my first or seventh house. Venus in Sagittarius might be better because that wouldn't form a harsh aspect with my Ascendant (but when it comes to romantic relationships, Venus in Sagittarius is known for having issues with commitment and sometimes even fidelity). Another solution would be to seek out people of my own generation with their Venus in an earth sign since that would resonate with my Pluto better and potentially create a mutual reception even while forming a hard aspect with my Venus -- hard Venus-Venus aspects are still quite significant for attraction, and I think they're a little easier to manage than hard Venus-Pluto aspects. As it happens, the last man I had a relationship with was a couple of years younger than me and had his Venus in an earth sign. My Venus squared his Pluto (natch) at close orb and I felt -- still feel -- that I invested more emotionally in the relationship than he did. The impression that I usually got from him was "come here -- go away." However, his Venus was in Taurus and formed a nice trine with my Pluto so we had mutual reception and even though the romantic aspect of our relationship didn't last long, we were able to maintain a friendship afterward.
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ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
I don't have a Venus/Pluto aspect in my natal so I'm not sure how it plays out for those that do. But having it in synastry and composite is difficult I guess because I'm the Venus person. I thought maybe because I also have Venus trine Pluto in composite with the same person that I have the Venus/Pluto opposition with that it would be easier. I guess that's not the case though but the Venus opposition Pluto aspect in synasty is a wide orb (8 degrees) some people have said that it would be too wide to be felt. But that's not true for me at all I still feel it. The Venus/Pluto trine in composite is a tight orb but still doesn't seem to outweigh the opposition in synastry. I hate being the Venus person this aspect has caused me to act out in ways that I never thought I would.
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jkxx74
Premium Member
Coming from a similar situation (Sun square Pluto with the same aspect to anyone who has Pluto in the same year as me) I can relate to this. While it works somewhat differently there is the same kind of dynamic with the potential for one person to try and dominate the other and very often the same end result. My solution has also been to associate with people who have Pluto either still in Libra or beyond 8 Scorpio.
Sometimes you can still get along with people who have Pluto squaring your Venus but it would have to be someone who is conscious of the temptations that Pluto is going to throw at them, and as you pointed out you are taking a chance every time this is a possibility.
ChildOfVenus - The composite trine means that in time it is possible to turn these energies around so they become enriching rather than debilitating but unfortunately the composite takes time to materialize while the synastry is instant and working on you from start to finish. So the only ways to deal with this would be ones that are just as radical as the energy of the aspect itself, while just entering the relationship would have started a process that is trying to reshape your ways of relating as you know them - hence the feeling that you are very far from home with where this has gone.
ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
I never knew that about the composite chart that it takes time for those aspects to come into play. But I know it's the synastry that shows how two people interact with one another. Do you think the Davison chart is important?
jkxx74
Premium Member
Yes, the composite is where the relationship eventually goes or what it becomes if allowed to happen. I have been told the Davison is more about the actual experience of the two people involved vs their experience in terms of the outside world which is the standard composite, by someone more knowledgeable than myself. However I haven't read up on these so can't confirm or deny this.
aquarius7000
Well-known member
Anything and everything is important if you give importance to it. If you ask 10 different people, they will have 10 different views. Stick to what works for you. Try a couple of things out and see which one you find closest to your own experiences. Above all, keep it simple, and never pick one aspect out to describe the connection between two people. There can hardly be any accuracy in such a thing because if there were, nobody would make the effort of studying complete charts with all the houses, planets, signs and aspects.
In my opinion, synastry is real because it simply overlays one natal chart over another natal chart and shows where the planets of one chart fall and how they connect with the planets of the other chart. I often stay away from composites and davison charts, which are 'created' charts, and there are many differing opinions on them.
I just got out of (literally, today) a relationship with someone where my Pluto in Sagittarius opposed their Venus in Gemini.
The rest of our synastry looked great (loads of planets in the other person's 7th house) and the composite was really promising, too.
Unfortunately, he is very close to his ex girlfriend who he dated for three years, and the two of them are like family to one another now. That alone, I didn't take issue with, but he let her sleep over at his house last night, and all the fears and insecurities came rushing in. It's one thing for him to say she's like a sister, but that doesn't change that he has a deep emotional bond with her that was once romantic, as well as a sexual attraction. I just kept wondering, "If he and I get into a massive fight or we're going through a rut or something, who does he vent to? Her. That's just a recipe for disaster over the long term."
We're both fairly rational people, so I just told him how I felt and that we couldn't see each other anymore. Some may feel that this was quick or without proper consideration (like, theoretically, he could have agreed to stop letting her sleep over, or any number of things that would have made me more comfortable).
The problem with that, though, is the fact that very early into meeting each other, he raved about her and let me know that any girl who couldn't handle their friendship couldn't be with him...and I couldn't handle it.
Now, I would hate to be automatically seen as the bad guy because I'm Pluto in this instance, and yes, jealousy was a major factor in the end of our interaction. What was I supposed to do? He wasn't willing to compromise on certain behaviors, and I wasn't just going to let him completely steamroll over my feelings. It's hell for the Pluto person, too, you guys.
The rest of our synastry looked great (loads of planets in the other person's 7th house) and the composite was really promising, too.
Unfortunately, he is very close to his ex girlfriend who he dated for three years, and the two of them are like family to one another now. That alone, I didn't take issue with, but he let her sleep over at his house last night, and all the fears and insecurities came rushing in. It's one thing for him to say she's like a sister, but that doesn't change that he has a deep emotional bond with her that was once romantic, as well as a sexual attraction. I just kept wondering, "If he and I get into a massive fight or we're going through a rut or something, who does he vent to? Her. That's just a recipe for disaster over the long term."
We're both fairly rational people, so I just told him how I felt and that we couldn't see each other anymore. Some may feel that this was quick or without proper consideration (like, theoretically, he could have agreed to stop letting her sleep over, or any number of things that would have made me more comfortable).
The problem with that, though, is the fact that very early into meeting each other, he raved about her and let me know that any girl who couldn't handle their friendship couldn't be with him...and I couldn't handle it.
Now, I would hate to be automatically seen as the bad guy because I'm Pluto in this instance, and yes, jealousy was a major factor in the end of our interaction. What was I supposed to do? He wasn't willing to compromise on certain behaviors, and I wasn't just going to let him completely steamroll over my feelings. It's hell for the Pluto person, too, you guys.
aquarius7000
Well-known member
I am sorry to hear about your relationship, but c'est la vie (that is life).
I am very curious to see the syanstry charts of you two, and to discern how all constellations were great, and only Plu-Ven opp. could break a relationship. If that should be the case, I would be completely disillusioned as far as Astrology goes.
If I am not able to point out at least three things in the synastry that reflected instability, it will be more than shocking.
ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
Well you did what was best for you I can understand why you would feel insecure about him spending time with his ex. I think that would be a normal reaction and knowing that they were so close and all. Pluto is usually said to be the bad person with this aspect. But I guess sometimes it could possibly be the Venus person. Maybe it would depend on the persons natal chart. I've read where some people have said that the Pluto person actually hates the Venus person. I don't know if that's really true or not but it seems to be that Venus cares more. While Pluto tries to manipulate and control the Venus person.
craft94
Well-known member
I have this with someone I've been (and just stopped) talking to recently except I'm the Pluto person and it's out of sign - about 4 or 5 degrees. However, his Pluto conjuncts my Venus by 1 degree in sign. So I probably feel it more. Pluto-Venus are square in the composite by 3 degrees. I think the problem is we got close really fast rather than being friends first.
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ChildOfVenus
Well-known member
Was there a reason why you stopped talking to the person? Has the Venus person tried contacting you at all? I ask because it's said that the Venus person is usually the one who is obsessed.
jkxx74
Premium Member
Looks like some pretty intense stuff happening to people here, including a love triangle that is considered a likely outcome with this aspect.
ChildOfVenus - since you mentioned Pluto hating Venus, that can be an eventual outcome though it generally doesn't start this way. The way the aspect works especially with the opposition is that Pluto becomes aware of the power of their feelings (opposed by Venus) while Venus becomes aware of the power Pluto has on them, hence the obsessive feelings there. So both people feel it but while Venus is sort of mesmerized by Pluto, Pluto could end up becoming frightened of Venus because of the unique and overpowering influence he/she has on them. If you are dealing with someone who considers themselves strong and independent they could be in for a surprise and not like what they are feeling and ultimately blame it on Venus while it's their own planet making them feel this way. So there is likely to be intense projection and confusion involved.
ChildOfVenus - since you mentioned Pluto hating Venus, that can be an eventual outcome though it generally doesn't start this way. The way the aspect works especially with the opposition is that Pluto becomes aware of the power of their feelings (opposed by Venus) while Venus becomes aware of the power Pluto has on them, hence the obsessive feelings there. So both people feel it but while Venus is sort of mesmerized by Pluto, Pluto could end up becoming frightened of Venus because of the unique and overpowering influence he/she has on them. If you are dealing with someone who considers themselves strong and independent they could be in for a surprise and not like what they are feeling and ultimately blame it on Venus while it's their own planet making them feel this way. So there is likely to be intense projection and confusion involved.
craft94
Well-known member
He just stopped talking to me out of the blue, it seemed, leaving me all confused and upset. But we did get into a fight a couple days before so I definitely think that has a lot to do with it. I thought it was officially over then, he said I was too emotional for him but we quickly made up and talked all day the next day. I've been told by a mutual friend, however, that he (like any other guy) only "made up" with me so I could calm down and leave him alone.
Well, I am the Venus person, with the conjunction, which is a smaller orb so much stronger. He's Venus with the opposition.
He did seem obsessed at first. Very. Initially, I didn't think anything of it. I just liked the attention and I thought he was funny but we talked almost all day every day for about a month and the more we talked, the more I grew to like him. I never actually met him (I met him online) and before this, the idea of an "online crush" seemed strange to me but I liked his personality. It's funny because I literally felt like there was nothing I could do to get rid of his interest. I truly thought I had the upper hand. I felt too comfortable around him and I took his interest for granted. I didn't think confronting him would be the dealbreaker that it was. He told me he liked "crazy" girls, he kept assuring me that he liked "passion", that he dated girls much worse than me but one fight, and I'm suddenly too emotional to be his friend even, too emotional to deserve an honest answer.
I think maybe it's a Venus in Scorpio thing, I don't know The guys I like usually like me until I like them back. Then, all of a sudden, I'm hated, and they do everything they promised they wouldn't.
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