Excruciating anguish with seemingly no cause. So lost and confused

Here is my chart with transits for today; https://imgur.com/a/XmPfSri

Never in my life have I felt so alone, lost and confused. Can’t shake this feeling of impending doom. I’m beginning to forget who I am & how I ended up here. This started about 3 days ago, I’ve never felt a pain like this before and never felt more ashamed of myself.

This feeling came on a few nights ago as I was trying to fall asleep, I realized how much I deeply hate my life, I was seeing myself in a new light. I have spent the past year building my relationship with myself again, and I thought I had come to love and accept myself fully. It was a blissful feeling while it lasted, but at the turn of a dime, I feel like I have made a complete 180.

I am so dissatisfied with what my life has turned into, a great distaste for my body, my personality, my actions and how I communicate. I’ve grown to hate what I’ve become. Everything about “me” that I have been projecting into the world feels like one big lie. I feel like I’ve never actually shown anybody my true self, it’s always been locked away and hidden. So now, it feels like nobody really knows me. And if nobody truly knows me, I don’t think I even know myself. I don’t know what I’ve become.

These feelings come in cycles, and I can’t explain them with any better words. It just keeps happening in loops. I feel trapped, I want to escape, and I’m terrified that this is what my life will be from now on.

I truly, truly need some guidance right now. I don’t know who to talk to. In my own astrological research months before, I imagined I would be in one of the best eras of my life. From what I see, the transits I am going through should not be making me feel this way.

Sorry for going on so long. I am just so drained.
 
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Osamenor

Staff member
If this keeps happening, it's something deeply rooted within you. Astrology cannot resolve deeply rooted issues, and does not cause them. At most, they might come to the surface during certain transits, but if this is happening for you again and again, there probably isn't any one transit that's
"to blame."

Whatever you've done to improve your relationship with yourself, it sounds like you need to work deeper. Hypnotherapy, maybe? That's the first modality that comes to my mind.

Good transits might, in fact, be a factor in stirring this up. That's helpful, because when they get stirred up, you look for solutions, and ultimately, that's what leads to you getting free. Issues don't occur, and don't resolve, just because of rocks whirling around in space. It's what you do with the transits that counts, and that brings about resolutions.
 

blackbery

Well-known member
We have two very big & powerful astrology events in the past 3 days.

:pluto: turned RX on Friday.

We had a Solar Eclipse on April 30th & it hit your chart with a :square: to your :jupiter::neptune::opposition:. Not surprising your feel 'spaced out' & negative.

With your natal :venus::saturn: you are already hard on yourself. Try loving yourself more through positive affirmations. When you feel yourself going deep into negative thinking, write it all down & then find the reason why you are allowing yourself to get into a 'funk'.
Everyone has good & bad days when you need to vent or cry or have a 'pity party' But don't stay in that space.
Try laughing yoga. Yep, there is such a thing.:lol::lol::lol:


You are an extremely sensitive person with ::sun::mercury::mercury::pisces::moon::libra: so surround yourself with beauty & harmony, listen to music that is inspiring.



:smile:

Here is my chart with transits for today; https://imgur.com/a/XmPfSri

Never in my life have I felt so alone, lost and confused. Can’t shake this feeling of impending doom. I’m beginning to forget who I am & how I ended up here. This started about 3 days ago, I’ve never felt a pain like this before and never felt more ashamed of myself.
.
 

blackbery

Well-known member
p.s.
You are correct about positive transits in your chart. :jupiter: almost :conjunct:natal :sun::trine::jupiter:. Excellent for the next few months.

Go for it, whether it's a job, school, moving, a love, whatever. You can
accomplish your goals at this time.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
p.s.
You are correct about positive transits in your chart. :jupiter: almost :conjunct:natal :sun::trine::jupiter:. Excellent for the next few months.

That kind of transit is exactly what I meant by a good transit that may trigger something like this. Jupiter transits are all about breaking free. If sweetnovember needs to get free of something, her Jupiter transit is delivering the opportunity. In this case, it's starting with hyperawareness of what there is to break free of.

Jupiter also magnifies whatever it touches. Transiting your Sun, it magnifies your sense of self, for better and for worse. If you have self esteem issues, they come into sharp relief. Which makes for a very good time to address them, and address them effectively.

The sense of self piece is re-emphasized when Sun is the ascendant ruler (ascendant also being self), which it is in this case.
 
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