PLUTO CON VENUS Who's abusing Who

Hedsalt

Member
Posts: 44
Gender: female
PLUTO CON VENUS who's abusing who
« on: Today at 15:46 [UT+0] »Quote Modify Remove I'll refer to me as Jupiter the female and him as Neptune. We met in April amd he has been the live if my life. However, he was lying about the depth of his commitment and live for saying it matched mine. And we have been deteriorating ecer since He came clean. The relationship is laden with his appeasements and gossip and triangulating as well as gaslighting. I have responded with volitile expression. Throwing dishes amd screaming and he seems to continue to gaslight me. I often question who is the one that is really the culprit. I realize that since i have become abusive in reaction that is my responsibly to end this. Which it seems we are now. His and my synastry charts and our composite chart all have venus conjunct pluto. Which make for amazing intamacy as well as obsession, control and now abuse it seems. I need help from anyone willing to offer some objective feedback. We both have been willing to try to own our behaviour or so we say, but then turn around and do exactly as we promise not to. He betrays my trust reguarly. Our #Nep and #Sun are #Con which I've read is a aspect of deceit. I just want to know how crazy he may have gaslighted me and how much this lays on each of our shoulders. Was i right about the level of deception I sense from him. It is all super sad and anguishing . Thank you to anyone who may offer their time to consider this.How do I post the chart? I will have to figure this out??
 
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Hedsalt

Member
ok here is our charts with composite. I am the top chart and he is the bottom with middle being the composite. if anyone wants to further their research with other prefered charts I ask you be gentle handling our information if you use different systems.
 

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Hedsalt

Member
I dabble in astrology but I am no match for some of the brilliant astrologers who frequent here in this community. I hope to get some guidance and feedback. Blessing to all who spend any time in my little world.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Hi Hedsalt, it's difficult to evaluate the two separate charts you posted.
Could you post a synastry chart, with the aspect table, that is on astro.com?
 

Hedsalt

Member
Hi Hedsalt, it's difficult to evaluate the two separate charts you posted.
Could you post a synastry chart, with the aspect table, that is on astro.com?
Sure I can do that give me a few minutes ti go to PC..
 

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ElenaJ

Well-known member
This is the right chart, thank you, but it's so blurry the aspect table isn't legible. Can you improve it? Sorry to so picky.
 

Hedsalt

Member
This is the right chart, thank you, but it's so blurry the aspect table isn't legible. Can you improve it? Sorry to so picky.
Sorry ElenaJ. I am busy until late tonight and Need a PC to get the right image to you.. does the chart show our birth info.. 11 01 1974 2:22 am patchogue NY me and him 8 21 1989 san antonio Tx 1155 pm
 

Zeuses

Well-known member
Posts: 44
Gender: female
PLUTO CON VENUS who's abusing who
« on: Today at 15:46 [UT+0] »Quote Modify Remove I'll refer to me as Jupiter the female and him as Neptune. We met in April amd he has been the live if my life. However, he was lying about the depth of his commitment and live for saying it matched mine. And we have been deteriorating ecer since He came clean. The relationship is laden with his appeasements and gossip and triangulating as well as gaslighting. I have responded with volitile expression. Throwing dishes amd screaming and he seems to continue to gaslight me. I often question who is the one that is really the culprit. I realize that since i have become abusive in reaction that is my responsibly to end this. Which it seems we are now. His and my synastry charts and our composite chart all have venus conjunct pluto. Which make for amazing intamacy as well as obsession, control and now abuse it seems. I need help from anyone willing to offer some objective feedback. We both have been willing to try to own our behaviour or so we say, but then turn around and do exactly as we promise not to. He betrays my trust reguarly. Our #Nep and #Sun are #Con which I've read is a aspect of deceit. I just want to know how crazy he may have gaslighted me and how much this lays on each of our shoulders. Was i right about the level of deception I sense from him. It is all super sad and anguishing . Thank you to anyone who may offer their time to consider this.How do I post the chart? I will have to figure this out??

Whether this is Pluto Venus or not it is extremely unhealthy and you need to get away from it. I had a Pluto conjunct Venus synastry with someone who ended up abusing me, but I suspect this was more about transits than the conjunction because it took some time for this to come out. I think that particular conjunction means intensity, but doesn't necessarily mean negative, but I'm not the most experienced astrologer on here so I haven't gone through the chart. Hopefully, someone more experienced can help.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
Can we begin by asking why someone would remain in a relationship where they land up doubting their partner and throwing dishes?
The first chart I've posted is your natal. Strong scorpio, with a stellium and a close out of sign conjunction with Uranus. Quite a decisive lady you are! With sun/venus you are probably quite attractive, with mars full of energy, with Uranus sometime unpredictable and also volatile. Mercury at the tail end gives you insight, originality, and a need for freedom. Makes you a little original, and you probably like to stand out from a crowd in some unique way, even though your virgo ascendent tends to be on the shy side.
And we find this massive energy taking place in the 2nd house, resources, values, finances, and self esteem as being one of our highest values in life.
I've included the current transits, which are on the outside of the wheel in green. Notice the volatile and eruptive mars/uranus conjunction which is culminating now, and has been opposing your stellium planets. So this is one explanation why you are throwing dishes at your partner, probably irritated with a lot of others, probably spending money like it's going out of style, feeling tied up and wanting to break free. And this has nothing to do with anyone else, it is your energy. And now the other powerful transiting group of Jupiter /saturn has entered Aquarius, and is effecting you from that end, restrictions and restraints. The various covid regulations must be weighting heavily on you, and they are stimulating your 5th house of love. Pluto moving into that territory will be felt ever more strongly by you, and as co-ruler of your scorpio stellium you will find more and more the urge to transform your life, looking for change, groping with ways to maintain control while things are being knocked down and need rebuilding in your life. This may be the most challenging period of your life when you look back at it.
Moving on, your descendent shows us the type of relationship that you will gravitate towards, and it is pisces, so somewhat emotional, spiritual, rooted in empathy, charity, illusion and romance.
Ruler of the 7th is Jupiter, in your 6th, so service and health issues involved with your partner. Jupiter trines your scorpio stellium, promising to bring out the best in you and boost your sense of self esteem thanks to your partner.
Jupiter however also squares Neptune, the other co-ruler of the 7th. So this brings in issues of co-dependence, substance abuse, deception, illusions, disappointment. To further strengthen this theme in your chart, Neptune is almost exactly conjunct your north node. The NN symbolises relationships, it symbolises your karmic path in life, where you should be working towards, and in sagittarius, with Neptune there and contacting Jupiter, we are looking at a lot of spiritual development, religious perhaps. Jupiter squares the nodes, so this is in a developmental contact, because tension from a square pushes you, like it or not, towards resolution of what is hurting. Pain and discomfort are stimuli for growth, we want to eliminate them so we change position until we find a comfortable spot.
Your moon in taurus is in the 9th house of spirituality, religion, law, higher learning, teaching. So your emotional fulfilment and evolution lie in this area.
So now that we have a brief picture of who you are, we can see how you are interacting in the relationship, and if and in what way it is satisfying your needs.
You are always the inner circle in the charts I've posted.
He is a last degree Leo, with taurus rising and a taurus moon.
Your moon falls on his ascendent, which is a very strong emotional draw, and a strong tie. His moon in taurus opposes your stellium, another strong tie. These two links are very positive, especially the opposition to your sun/venus conjunction. However, his emotions also have to contend with the volatile part of your stellium so you can set him off at times!
While the mars/moon opposition can be irritating, it is also a sexual draw, with sexy scorpio probably taking the initiative for the most part!, who has to be careful not to injure the emotional moon.
His scorpio descendent shows the type of relationship he needs, and it is "scorpionic", and with you he certainly does fulfil this!
Your descendent ruler Jupiter, in your 6th of service, opposes his descendent ruler mars, which falls in your 12th. So there is a strong link between he descendents that holds you together. Even though at the same time that mars of his tends to stir up a lot of subconscious material you have hidden.
Your ascendent ruler is mercury, and his falls almost exactly on your ascendent, again a very strong tie.
These contacts go a long way to hold you together in a relationship, which is why they are so important.
His ascendent ruler, Venus, conjuncts your stellium ruler, pluto. Another very strong tie.
All these contacts help explain the nature of the "glue" that is keeping you together. And they are very strong.
We also see pluto conjunct sun, reinforcing the theme.
Notice also his ascendent in your 9th house, stimulating what we saw earlier, about your need for growth in spirituality and religion. And he becomes a natural funnel for his energy.
Going back to the transits, that volatile mars/uranus transit wth the Aquarius jupiter/saturn/pluto square are touching his ascendent and by reflection his descendent. So for him too this is a period of growth and challenge.
Do we wonder why there are tensions between the two of you right now?
Look also at his Uranus/neptune/saturn stellium in Capricorn, that falls in your 4th house. So your arguments will take place in and also about the home and family life.
While the transit energy will pass as the planets move on, this will always be a part of your relationship.
So, what about the Venus/pluto and sun/pluto contacts?
Yes, very compelling. Yes, sexually stimulating. Authoritative, bullying, controlling and transformational, yes. Pluto is forceful. It is part of your individual charts, and part of your relationship.
How does all this energy work out?
Look at the composite chart, and we see emotional moon near expansive Jupiter, who is also a symbol of spirituality and religion!
And magnetic, compulsive Venus/pluto together.
Also, sun/mars/mercury.
All very stimulating energies. Stimulating that could also be unbearable, argumentative, depending on how you use that energy.
And the nodes almost exactly crossing the ascendent/descenent axis, showing this relationship has a karmic goal of development in relationships, working things out together, while leaving the individual souls behind.
And lastly, Neptune conjunct the vertex, which serves as a symbolic descendent. Again spirituality, but also sacrifice, illusion, the transcending of this reality for one that lies beyond.
In the charts I've eliminated the asteroids you entered which do not necessarily make contacts, but I've entered Union.
Notice that in the composite it is exactly conjunct the sun, which is the identity of the relationship. Union is the key to this relationship.
In the synastry chart we see his Union exactly on your ascendent, and so we see again the theme of why you two are together.
Whether to remain together or not is a decision that each of you will make, but if you can learn to filter your energies in a more positive way together, this could really be a very valuable contact for both of you.
The upcoming period will be stressed because of the transits, but exactly that pressure will push you towards resolution.
Do you feel up to taking it on?
The progressed composite shows where you are at now, as obviously nothing is written in stone in a relationship between two persons. It shows what is happening now.
The Uranus/mars transiting is near Jupiter (stimulating spiritual and religious aspects!), and opposing the scorpio planets, keeping pressure on the relationship to develop. Moon in the next couple of months will trine Neptune, giving you insight. Mercury conjunct sun, who is also ascendent ruler, will help stimulate intellectual, mental development. The pluto/mars conjunction has passed in your relationship, so that will ease up a bit.
And notice Saturn ruler of the descendent, approaching a conjunction with Union!
 

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