The main/biggest lesson I have to learn and achieve?

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Is this just the North Node placement? or are there some other factors or karma in my natal chart that I have to know?


https://imgur.com/a/pDdAS
 

waybread

Well-known member
Generally I would say the north node, but that big T-square in your chart will demand your attention, to work out those challenging placements in a constructive way.

I think you'll find as you go through life that different parts of your chart will become more important at different times, due to transits (like your first Saturn return) and your passage into maturity.

I don't believe in karma holding over from past lives, so I can't help you there.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I believe everything is Karmic. Chiron will be important for this so research that too.

Your South Node is more karmic and about past lives, it is not seen as a symbol because it is always opposite the north node. Your South Node is in Aquarius 2nd house and I found this online from astrofix.

Having the courage to get involved in what goes on behind closed doors. Getting personally involved in deeper relationships that make you uncomfortable. Bringing heart to difficult emotional entanglements. Becoming more giving in your understanding of other people’s priorities and values. Releasing an overly logical value system. Using your heart to navigate other people’s “stuff.” No longer rationalizing your priorities. Getting to know individual people and their problems. Developing a warmer approach when dealing with other people’s emotional traumas. Finding a partner who brings out your playful side in sex. Letting a more child-like side of you come out in deeply intimate situations. Not being afraid to make a joke when things get dark and strange. Getting to know your sex partners personally- no anonymous sex. Admitting that you want to feel special and appreciated during sex. Shining during sex. Becoming a demonstrative lover. Showing your partner what you want. Learning to appreciate when people are courageous enough to reveal themselves to you. Developing warmer relationships with people who are experiencing states of transition rather than pulling away and watching from a distance. Maintaining objectivity about your personal values while still becoming passionate about the concerns of others. Releasing all of the bizarre priorities that prevent you from engaging in deeper relationships with other people

http://astrofix.net/2010/11/19/north-node-in-leo-and-south-node-in-aquarius-by-house/
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I believe everything is Karmic. Chiron will be important for this so research that too.

Your South Node is more karmic and about past lives, it is not seen as a symbol because it is always opposite the north node. Your South Node is in Aquarius 2nd house and I found this online from astrofix.

Having the courage to get involved in what goes on behind closed doors. Getting personally involved in deeper relationships that make you uncomfortable. Bringing heart to difficult emotional entanglements. Becoming more giving in your understanding of other people’s priorities and values. Releasing an overly logical value system. Using your heart to navigate other people’s “stuff.” No longer rationalizing your priorities. Getting to know individual people and their problems. Developing a warmer approach when dealing with other people’s emotional traumas. Finding a partner who brings out your playful side in sex. Letting a more child-like side of you come out in deeply intimate situations. Not being afraid to make a joke when things get dark and strange. Getting to know your sex partners personally- no anonymous sex. Admitting that you want to feel special and appreciated during sex. Shining during sex. Becoming a demonstrative lover. Showing your partner what you want. Learning to appreciate when people are courageous enough to reveal themselves to you. Developing warmer relationships with people who are experiencing states of transition rather than pulling away and watching from a distance. Maintaining objectivity about your personal values while still becoming passionate about the concerns of others. Releasing all of the bizarre priorities that prevent you from engaging in deeper relationships with other people

http://astrofix.net/2010/11/19/north-node-in-leo-and-south-node-in-aquarius-by-house/

Oh dear.

I'm... uh, way behind when it comes to sex then haha. I'm only 19 so I don't think I'll be experiencing that any time soon. Unlike some other people who seem to be sexually active by 16 or 17.

Which is kinda funny because I have three planets in Scorpio, Mars in the 8th house, Lilith exactly conjunct my Sun and Venus (in Scorpio) and other stuff. Maybe that's why I'm not active then? I do have the drive I guess, just don't have the guts to do the actual thing.

The ones I can resonate with is the passion and warmth. Getting personally involved is something I actually fear because of past experiences. In which, I wore my heart on my sleeves, gave it away so easily and loved sharing parts of me to people who mean to me, only to be taken advantage of afterwards. Doesn't help that I'm actually extremely sensitive.

But a lot of times, being detached has saved me from experiencing more of that now, but it creates loneliness and depression. It feels VERY alien to develop my own ego for real. I have no personal planets in Leo, I have Moon and Uranus in Aquarius conjunct, and Uranus is my dominant planet. This is going to be really hard.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Generally I would say the north node, but that big T-square in your chart will demand your attention, to work out those challenging placements in a constructive way.

I think you'll find as you go through life that different parts of your chart will become more important at different times, due to transits (like your first Saturn return) and your passage into maturity.

I don't believe in karma holding over from past lives, so I can't help you there.

Oh right, the T- squares.

Pluto has been a big help ever since it conjunct my ascendant ( Capricorn ). Helped me dig deep and identify what I needed to fix and why I needed to accept change. I'm only really scared on what happens when it conjuncts my Neptune which is within my first house, because I have dreams for myself regarding about Career and goals, and what Pluto can kill here... I'm afraid to think about it.

The 4th house issues (Saturn) are becoming less painful for me now since I've been working hard to fix that one. Home and domestic life is now less painful and conflicts are finally being resolved one by one, the only thing left for me now is my inner foundation and esteem, and also finding security within myself.

10th house *sigh* Hurts thinking about it. Both Sun and Venus squaring my Neptune and Uranus. I'm very career oriented, but soooo many frustrations have come up to the surface, making me really impatient and agitated. Due to the fact that i can't pursue what i really want RIGHT NOW and the doubts that keep coming back to me. Over and over I think to myself, "What if this is wrong? What if its not right for me? what if I'm not good enough? Will I grow old knowing that I never got the chance to make that dream a reality? Do I even deserve it?"

*siiiiiigh*
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I believe everything is Karmic. Chiron will be important for this so research that too.

Your South Node is more karmic and about past lives, it is not seen as a symbol because it is always opposite the north node. Your South Node is in Aquarius 2nd house and I found this online from astrofix.

Having the courage to get involved in what goes on behind closed doors. Getting personally involved in deeper relationships that make you uncomfortable. Bringing heart to difficult emotional entanglements. Becoming more giving in your understanding of other people’s priorities and values. Releasing an overly logical value system. Using your heart to navigate other people’s “stuff.” No longer rationalizing your priorities. Getting to know individual people and their problems. Developing a warmer approach when dealing with other people’s emotional traumas. Finding a partner who brings out your playful side in sex. Letting a more child-like side of you come out in deeply intimate situations. Not being afraid to make a joke when things get dark and strange. Getting to know your sex partners personally- no anonymous sex. Admitting that you want to feel special and appreciated during sex. Shining during sex. Becoming a demonstrative lover. Showing your partner what you want. Learning to appreciate when people are courageous enough to reveal themselves to you. Developing warmer relationships with people who are experiencing states of transition rather than pulling away and watching from a distance. Maintaining objectivity about your personal values while still becoming passionate about the concerns of others. Releasing all of the bizarre priorities that prevent you from engaging in deeper relationships with other people

http://astrofix.net/2010/11/19/north-node-in-leo-and-south-node-in-aquarius-by-house/

Chiron in Scorpio is in 10th house but near the 11th house (Guess I should consider this as the 11th house).

Either way, both interpretations are relatable. The public and groups of friends. Constantly makes me feel so out of place, was never comfortable with crowds at all, group of friends are always a pain even if I'm always drawn back to it. Scorpio is in my 11th house, pluto and mercury sits there, so more often than not, i'm constantly experiencing intense changes and transformations as I hop from group to group. That's what makes it painful though. I never last long enough in one group, life always pushes me out of it and brings me to the next one before I could comprehend it. Plus, I attach very easily. Because my experiences with these group of friends have always been memorable. It *****. It also doesn't help that it does tale time for me to feel welcome in any social setting, it will take me months and months even if we see each other everyday in school. Everywhere I go, I always feel so out of place.

With the 10th house, I also suffer from "I'm not good enough" syndrome, so I work extra hard only to keep hurting myself. Also, me being an alien also applies here. I think this applies to my frustration of not being able to pursue my dreams and goals, because I'm "not brave and good enough". I've also suffered from public humiliation as a young child, having to tolerate the pressures of being the eldest child of the family.

Chiron is conjunct Mercury, square moon, trine Jupiter and sextile my ascendant.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Oh dear.

I'm... uh, way behind when it comes to sex then haha. I'm only 19 so I don't think I'll be experiencing that any time soon. Unlike some other people who seem to be sexually active by 16 or 17.

Which is kinda funny because I have three planets in Scorpio, Mars in the 8th house, Lilith exactly conjunct my Sun and Venus (in Scorpio) and other stuff. Maybe that's why I'm not active then? I do have the drive I guess, just don't have the guts to do the actual thing.

The ones I can resonate with is the passion and warmth. Getting personally involved is something I actually fear because of past experiences. In which, I wore my heart on my sleeves, gave it away so easily and loved sharing parts of me to people who mean to me, only to be taken advantage of afterwards. Doesn't help that I'm actually extremely sensitive.

But a lot of times, being detached has saved me from experiencing more of that now, but it creates loneliness and depression. It feels VERY alien to develop my own ego for real. I have no personal planets in Leo, I have Moon and Uranus in Aquarius conjunct, and Uranus is my dominant planet. This is going to be really hard.

I think that is brilliant you have done that and I am not just saying that. I was 21 and I think it shows how important sex actually is to us. I don't think you should feel pressured by yourself or others because with all the Scorpio, it will be so good waiting til someone you love! I rushed it because I became impatient with myself but you really only get one first time and I now believe I have to be careful who I connect with because lots of guys want to have a piece and they are not always easy to spot as bad because they don't know they are bad themselves. Maybe bad is the wrong word but I would not want to behave cheap because it will lead to depression.

Something I did notice though is the nodes are asking you to try not rationalize everything and to feel things as you go along too. I can see you are rationalizing and I think that is good to do at a young age but I think you should start now to prevent a pattern of continuously over rationalizing happening.

Your Venus and Sun in 10th are great positions, you will surely reach your social goals. I love sun in 10th people because they appear successful and have a dominant personality.

I wish I could help you with the t squares as what Waybread said sounds important. She also made an interesting point about different parts of the chart being important at different times. It reminded me that Venus will be important during school years so I would look into Venus in 10th square Uranus and Neptune.

Your ability to go from group to group and learn from each sounds like the perfect mix of the Venus in 10 talents to socialize and different groups including you and you learn from each group, instead of just moving on.

Based on the nodes telling you to rationalize less, I would try to have as much fun as you can now. But Venus is squaring Neptune, so I also think you should not 'let go' too much or those guys I was warning you about will be able to deceive you. Venus square Uranus, were you not accepted for your individuality?

The Chiron square moon is a wide orb at 8, so thankfully it does not seem too important. Chiron is nin Scorpio as well, a lot of transformation from pain!

I see you have Venus Square moon and opposition Saturn, I am glad to hear your family dynamics are working out because it sounds hard. I would expect your Saturn Return to cause you to come back to astrology because it is at the IC, a very spiritual placement.

So to gather my thoughts, I would say use your mind to help with the venus square Neptune, do not look for love because your Saturn and Venus Moon problems at home. When you do find it and it is real, learn to let go and let out your playful side. This will be harder to do if you have already been hurt by letting your Venus-Neptune deceive you into looking for love you do not get from home.

Use Venus in 10th to your advantage because your ability to make lots of friends will serve you well, concentrate on friendships and it does not matter if you feel alien because I do too and it means we are different and searching for something else.

I think the alien feeling comes from the Venus problems and your home life. Please do NOT let that venus-neptune deceive you into looking for love in other places. If your parents were not so selfish they would see the vulnerability they are causing.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Oh right, the T- squares.

Pluto has been a big help ever since it conjunct my ascendant ( Capricorn ). Helped me dig deep and identify what I needed to fix and why I needed to accept change. I'm only really scared on what happens when it conjuncts my Neptune which is within my first house, because I have dreams for myself regarding about Career and goals, and what Pluto can kill here... I'm afraid to think about it.

The 4th house issues (Saturn) are becoming less painful for me now since I've been working hard to fix that one. Home and domestic life is now less painful and conflicts are finally being resolved one by one, the only thing left for me now is my inner foundation and esteem, and also finding security within myself.

10th house *sigh* Hurts thinking about it. Both Sun and Venus squaring my Neptune and Uranus. I'm very career oriented, but soooo many frustrations have come up to the surface, making me really impatient and agitated. Due to the fact that i can't pursue what i really want RIGHT NOW and the doubts that keep coming back to me. Over and over I think to myself, "What if this is wrong? What if its not right for me? what if I'm not good enough? Will I grow old knowing that I never got the chance to make that dream a reality? Do I even deserve it?"

*siiiiiigh*

Good for you that you are taking constructive, life-affirming steps to improve your situation.:cool: Just please realize that sun opposite Saturn and Moon square Saturn (which are part of your T-square) are signatures for low-self esteem and taking so much to heart other people's criticisms of you!

This does not objectively mean that there is anything wrong with you. Just that you come to the world with a tendency towards self (sun) doubt (Saturn) and negative (Saturn) feelings (moon.)

Fortunately each planet has multiple meanings. Saturn also rules self-discipline. With Saturn bi-quintile Pluto, you have the capacity for heroic efforts to accomplish what you want in life. You can discipline (Saturn) yourself (sun) to stop negative thoughts in their track.

Or-- put yourself in a really safe space and just let yourself experience fully those negative feelings. Don't resist them. Name them. Feel them. Who were those people who hurt you? Cry if you have to. After a while, I think you'll start to feel much lighter around them. (This is an old exercise from the human potential movement.)

With that nice Mercury-Neptune sextile, you probably have a rich imagination. You'd probably be good at creative visualization.

One thing I just noticed today is that you have a Thor's Hammer in your chart. (Neptune-Saturn square joining Mars through two sesqui-squares.) This is a highly volatile pattern.

I generally think that a productive use of Mars is to take up some athletic activity. Mars rules athletes, and you've got extra Mars influence with your Saturn in Aries. Virgo and Saturn are both capable of self discipline, so you might think of some kind of activity where you can perfect (Virgo) your technique or work on endurance (Saturn) possibly with a water-related activity (Neptune.) The 8th house (notably with your NN) does ask us to get out of our comfort zone.

I'm not a believer in past-lives karma. For westerners it seems to me like a cultural rip-off of the Hindu faith, and then there's no concrete evidence for it. It just tends to make already unhappy people feel guilty over something that probably never happened.

What do you do to be nice to yourself and get enjoyment (that Jupiter trine) out of life?
 
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UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Good for you that you are taking constructive, life-affirming steps to improve your situation.:cool: Just please realize that sun opposite Saturn and Moon square Saturn (which are part of your T-square) are signatures for low-self esteem and taking so much to heart other people's criticisms of you!

This does not objectively mean that there is anything wrong with you. Just that you come to the world with a tendency towards self (sun) doubt (Saturn) and negative (Saturn) feelings (moon.)

Fortunately each planet has multiple meanings. Saturn also rules self-discipline. With Saturn bi-quintile Pluto, you have the capacity for heroic efforts to accomplish what you want in life. You can discipline (Saturn) yourself (sun) to stop negative thoughts in their track.

Or-- put yourself in a really safe space and just let yourself experience fully those negative feelings. Don't resist them. Name them. Feel them. Who were those people who hurt you? Cry if you have to. After a while, I think you'll start to feel much lighter around them. (This is an old exercise from the human potential movement.)

With that nice Mercury-Neptune sextile, you probably have a rich imagination. You'd probably be good at creative visualization.

One thing I just noticed today is that you have a Thor's Hammer in your chart. (Neptune-Saturn square joining Mars through two sesqui-squares.) This is a highly volatile pattern.

I generally think that a productive use of Mars is to take up some athletic activity. Mars rules athletes, and you've got extra Mars influence with your Saturn in Aries. Virgo and Saturn are both capable of self discipline, so you might think of some kind of activity where you can perfect (Virgo) your technique or work on endurance (Saturn) possibly with a water-related activity (Neptune.) The 8th house (notably with your NN) does ask us to get out of our comfort zone.

I'm not a believer in past-lives karma. For westerners it seems to me like a cultural rip-off of the Hindu faith, and then there's no concrete evidence for it. It just tends to make already unhappy people feel guilty over something that probably never happened.

What do you do to be nice to yourself and get enjoyment (that Jupiter trine) out of life?

To be nice to myself huh...

You mentioned the Saturn-Moon-Sun combo, and I won't deny that my stupidly low self-esteem is one of my biggest weaknesses that I really have to work on. Whenever I'm "nice to myself" it ends with guilt. It's pathetic, really. These thoughts just come in lightning quick though before I could stop myself. I'm not sure where it's really coming from but this general feeling that I don't deserve some really nice things has been with me since I was really young. It keeps my indulgence in check though... but it's still a little painful.

Right now though I'm doing my best kicking my own butt to finally stand up and own those real Saturnian qualities (discipline and responsibility) because I realized that if I want to be happy and get what I want, then might as well be a hardworking *****.

I guess when I'm nice to myself, I compliment myself and my little accomplishments (the cappy in me LOVES this). For instance, after doing some nice make up, I look at the mirror and take selfies and be like, "Yas girl, you're gorgeous. Work it!"

Or whenever I'm creating music, putting in some vocals and combining them altogether, then have myself relax and enjoy the finished product. I'll be like, "I knew you had it in you. You just need more practice and experience!"

Some compliments stay with me as motivation, but most of the time the pessimistic in me just turns it upside down. The problem with me is that I dream real big and I have such big visions for my future that it scares me, y'know. Would this mean that my standards are too high even for myself? Haha!

The Thor's hammer is interesting. Actually, I used to swim. I do Lawn Tennis, badminton and swimming. But swimming was really great for me! Maybe I should come back to it. Water feels therapeutic for me. The concept you gave for the Thor's hammer pattern is cool, maybe I can apply this to improving my creative talents as well.

Giving myself some safe space to feel my emotions completely is true. I do this in the bathroom though since my home is crowded lol. But it does feel great afterwards. I used to depend on other people to heal me this way, and I started feeling really lonely when most of them failed to do this. Now I see myself as my very own therapist or something haha!

I guess the Mercury Neptune sextile part is where I'm writing fiction or making films. I did quite a bit of acting before and got gold medals in school for declamation performances. But because I was so into Neptunian stuff, I had a hard time focusing on academics. Actually, I'm still like this right now lol. Hah, I tried to love subjects like Math and Physics but it was just... no. Hahahaha

Sometimes, I'm harsh to myself on purpose because I really want to avoid being arrogant. I don't want to have those compliments get into my head and make it bigger y'know. I have an arrogant side, which I think did come from having insecurities and I let it get to me when I was younger. As a result, I gained a lot of haters. This was the time I started being closed off and timid to the point that I stopped eagerly showing my gifts of creative expression because I might come off arrogant or showy. Then one thing led to another, I became aloof and distant, and now it's hard for me to make new friends without being awkward haha!

The part where you said about the different houses having significance in different times kinda makes sense to me now.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Gosh-- compared to most of the folks I interact with, I'd say you're pretty advanced. I mean that, seriously. Life handed you what I would see as a difficult chart, but you've done a lot to gain control over your troubling experiences.

The saying in modern astrology is that we can read a chart and make certain assumptions about the person, but really we don't know if the person operates at the level of the bestial, terrestrial, or celestial. I recall suggesting to older people that they might have a problem with, say, their temper, due to a hard-aspected Mars, and the response was, "I used to be like that when I was younger, but I had to learn to control my temper."

If you're on a trajectory for self-awareness and self-improvement I think you'll come out just fine, because ultimately you may wish to deal with your self-defeating behaviours.

I have sun opposite Saturn as well. One thing that really helped all of the insecurities was simply getting older and gaining more life experience. When facing a future event or people that normally would have sent me into a tizzy, I began to tell myself that I had experienced this type of event or person before, and could draw on that past experience.

With all those quintiles in your chart I think you're pretty ambitious, at least deep-down, so please don't sell yourself short. You can thank that critical voice in your head for sharing, then go off and do what you want.

At your age, time is on your side. Something that Capricorn and Saturn fundamentally understand.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I think that is brilliant you have done that and I am not just saying that. I was 21 and I think it shows how important sex actually is to us. I don't think you should feel pressured by yourself or others because with all the Scorpio, it will be so good waiting til someone you love! I rushed it because I became impatient with myself but you really only get one first time and I now believe I have to be careful who I connect with because lots of guys want to have a piece and they are not always easy to spot as bad because they don't know they are bad themselves. Maybe bad is the wrong word but I would not want to behave cheap because it will lead to depression.

Something I did notice though is the nodes are asking you to try not rationalize everything and to feel things as you go along too. I can see you are rationalizing and I think that is good to do at a young age but I think you should start now to prevent a pattern of continuously over rationalizing happening.

Your Venus and Sun in 10th are great positions, you will surely reach your social goals. I love sun in 10th people because they appear successful and have a dominant personality.

I wish I could help you with the t squares as what Waybread said sounds important. She also made an interesting point about different parts of the chart being important at different times. It reminded me that Venus will be important during school years so I would look into Venus in 10th square Uranus and Neptune.

Your ability to go from group to group and learn from each sounds like the perfect mix of the Venus in 10 talents to socialize and different groups including you and you learn from each group, instead of just moving on.

Based on the nodes telling you to rationalize less, I would try to have as much fun as you can now. But Venus is squaring Neptune, so I also think you should not 'let go' too much or those guys I was warning you about will be able to deceive you. Venus square Uranus, were you not accepted for your individuality?

The Chiron square moon is a wide orb at 8, so thankfully it does not seem too important. Chiron is nin Scorpio as well, a lot of transformation from pain!

I see you have Venus Square moon and opposition Saturn, I am glad to hear your family dynamics are working out because it sounds hard. I would expect your Saturn Return to cause you to come back to astrology because it is at the IC, a very spiritual placement.

So to gather my thoughts, I would say use your mind to help with the venus square Neptune, do not look for love because your Saturn and Venus Moon problems at home. When you do find it and it is real, learn to let go and let out your playful side. This will be harder to do if you have already been hurt by letting your Venus-Neptune deceive you into looking for love you do not get from home.

Use Venus in 10th to your advantage because your ability to make lots of friends will serve you well, concentrate on friendships and it does not matter if you feel alien because I do too and it means we are different and searching for something else.

I think the alien feeling comes from the Venus problems and your home life. Please do NOT let that venus-neptune deceive you into looking for love in other places. If your parents were not so selfish they would see the vulnerability they are causing.

Dangit. I keep forgetting to respond to your reply! I got too busy.

Oh, and I deleted three long replied I made for your post already because I wanted to be thoughful for my answer and you probably don't want to be reading a soap opera in this forum hahaha! I'll be back with a shorter reply for sure. Your response made me think a lot for awhile. :)
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Gosh-- compared to most of the folks I interact with, I'd say you're pretty advanced. I mean that, seriously. Life handed you what I would see as a difficult chart, but you've done a lot to gain control over your troubling experiences.

The saying in modern astrology is that we can read a chart and make certain assumptions about the person, but really we don't know if the person operates at the level of the bestial, terrestrial, or celestial. I recall suggesting to older people that they might have a problem with, say, their temper, due to a hard-aspected Mars, and the response was, "I used to be like that when I was younger, but I had to learn to control my temper."

If you're on a trajectory for self-awareness and self-improvement I think you'll come out just fine, because ultimately you may wish to deal with your self-defeating behaviours.

I have sun opposite Saturn as well. One thing that really helped all of the insecurities was simply getting older and gaining more life experience. When facing a future event or people that normally would have sent me into a tizzy, I began to tell myself that I had experienced this type of event or person before, and could draw on that past experience.

With all those quintiles in your chart I think you're pretty ambitious, at least deep-down, so please don't sell yourself short. You can thank that critical voice in your head for sharing, then go off and do what you want.

At your age, time is on your side. Something that Capricorn and Saturn fundamentally understand.

...Strange. Another member here said the same thing actually, being advanced and stuff. No wait, make that two. The first one said it after reading a reaaalllyyy long reply from me haha! The second one just said so because he'd found some aspects in my natal chart.

Then, it's good! That means I'll come out fine in the end. Although it seems too good to be true, tbh. Low self-esteem has always been something within me as I growing up, so I could never imagine having that flipped in the future. But we'll see, and I'll do my best.

That's what makes natal chart readings interesting though. It's what got me into Astrology with a little bit of obsession. A unique type of science that lets you study an individual psychologically and if possible, can predict the outcomes of his future. I don't really believe in that though, i'd like it better if Astrology was used to understand an individual or your own self.

Self-esteem is something i battle with every single day. It has the craziest fluctuations! It goes really high and really low, annoyingly fast too. It can mess me up, at least once a day, but it's great to know that now I'm able to push the thoughts away and move on. Before though, it gets stuck on my head the whole day until I'm finally sleeping. It's definitely a HUGE obstacle I have to overcome for me to finally move into 10th house matters.

I still don't get what being "advanced" is. Advanced in working on myself?
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Precisely.

And please see Saturn as your wisest teacher. His lessons aren't a lot of fun, because they concern self-discipline, deferred gratification, patience, hard work, and getting by on very little. But if you master these lessons, they will serve you well throughout your life. Saturn tends to reward his students later in life.

You have your whole life ahead of you, so please work hard at what you love, but give yourself some time to develop your career and an affirming sense of self. I think these will come with time.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I think that is brilliant you have done that and I am not just saying that. I was 21 and I think it shows how important sex actually is to us. I don't think you should feel pressured by yourself or others because with all the Scorpio, it will be so good waiting til someone you love! I rushed it because I became impatient with myself but you really only get one first time and I now believe I have to be careful who I connect with because lots of guys want to have a piece and they are not always easy to spot as bad because they don't know they are bad themselves. Maybe bad is the wrong word but I would not want to behave cheap because it will lead to depression.

Something I did notice though is the nodes are asking you to try not rationalize everything and to feel things as you go along too. I can see you are rationalizing and I think that is good to do at a young age but I think you should start now to prevent a pattern of continuously over rationalizing happening.

Your Venus and Sun in 10th are great positions, you will surely reach your social goals. I love sun in 10th people because they appear successful and have a dominant personality.

I wish I could help you with the t squares as what Waybread said sounds important. She also made an interesting point about different parts of the chart being important at different times. It reminded me that Venus will be important during school years so I would look into Venus in 10th square Uranus and Neptune.

Your ability to go from group to group and learn from each sounds like the perfect mix of the Venus in 10 talents to socialize and different groups including you and you learn from each group, instead of just moving on.

Based on the nodes telling you to rationalize less, I would try to have as much fun as you can now. But Venus is squaring Neptune, so I also think you should not 'let go' too much or those guys I was warning you about will be able to deceive you. Venus square Uranus, were you not accepted for your individuality?

The Chiron square moon is a wide orb at 8, so thankfully it does not seem too important. Chiron is nin Scorpio as well, a lot of transformation from pain!

I see you have Venus Square moon and opposition Saturn, I am glad to hear your family dynamics are working out because it sounds hard. I would expect your Saturn Return to cause you to come back to astrology because it is at the IC, a very spiritual placement.

So to gather my thoughts, I would say use your mind to help with the venus square Neptune, do not look for love because your Saturn and Venus Moon problems at home. When you do find it and it is real, learn to let go and let out your playful side. This will be harder to do if you have already been hurt by letting your Venus-Neptune deceive you into looking for love you do not get from home.

Use Venus in 10th to your advantage because your ability to make lots of friends will serve you well, concentrate on friendships and it does not matter if you feel alien because I do too and it means we are different and searching for something else.

I think the alien feeling comes from the Venus problems and your home life. Please do NOT let that venus-neptune deceive you into looking for love in other places. If your parents were not so selfish they would see the vulnerability they are causing.

I have charts of my friends who have the easier flowing aspects in Venus to both Uranus and Neptune-- and boy do they have it easier. I'm a little jealous, sometimes. Especially the ones you have it in Trine and sextile to Neptune. Some of them just have it aspecting to Jupiter and they have an easier time in their social life, something that I really wished for.

The way they express themselves artisticslly is so beautiful. I just wonder if the square is sort of making the same effect ( I hope ).

What I do realize is that my Uranus aspects make me different and eccentric-- and sometimes original. My Venus and Neptune-- I see them as significant to my creative talents and I like to think that I do it a little more different than the others. Yet, I recieve either admiration OR the opposite. Some like it, some are confused whether they like it or not, and some don't. I sometimes think Uranus is contributing to this, my squares from Uranus are tighter than from my Neptune.

Oh! And someone else pointed out my Lilith exact conjunction to Sun and Venus. This person said that Lilith themes may also play a big role in my life as well. Lilith, from what I've read, has the Dark Feminine thing going on, femme fatale, similar energies to Scorpio and Pluto, and I think if I go with the more positive vibrations of it: empowerment, courage, autonomy, etc etc. I have Lilith in the 10th, but it's not near the MC angle. I read from somewhere that this may attract jealousy or might make my public image look "bad" in some way...

I kind of find that to be true. I mean, I've had backstabbers before. Faking a friendship in front of my face and then gossiping about me behind my back, I can even sense the slightest jealousy feeling because I'm really paranoid when it comes to friendships and can point out the behaviors right away. I've dealt with rumors before too, but not that much.

It's alright though, I'm at peace with myself at least. I stopped that tendency to be so needy of love and attention, now I'm just grateful of everything I have so far. It keeps me going. Some said that squares are not all that bad, and if it was from a year ago, I would have said "yeah, right." I would have continued thinking that I was cursed to be so dark and unlucky, but I'm starting to see some hope. I like to think that maybe the squares just give tension to make us achieve something even better. Idk, I can be wrong, but I like to be positive about it haha!

Can't deny that I can still fall back to my old patterns of thoughts and habits though. But it's great to know that for the first in my life, I feel wodnerful and great about myself. I think the Jupiter transit has something to do with hehe, it's near my Sun and Venus from this month til November, plus the Sun conjunct Jupiter in my SR return chart. Gotta make the most of it then.

The rationalizing part... I don't know how to approach it though. Rationalizing has always saved me a lot of times, but I agreee that it makes me feel "less" almost too much. North Node is not easy anyway. Since my NN is in fire, its also funny that I seriously lack fire in my chart as well. Dammnn. No wonder I've been so passive and brooding. I could be such a killjoy. Hard for me to just "light up" and embody that "fire-y passion".
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Precisely.

And please see Saturn as your wisest teacher. His lessons aren't a lot of fun, because they concern self-discipline, deferred gratification, patience, hard work, and getting by on very little. But if you master these lessons, they will serve you well throughout your life. Saturn tends to reward his students later in life.

You have your whole life ahead of you, so please work hard at what you love, but give yourself some time to develop your career and an affirming sense of self. I think these will come with time.

Saturn in Aries. Patience is a big lesson for me indeed haha!

Pluto is now my bestfriend. Don't know if I can say the same for Saturn for now... natal Saturn is tightly squaring my Neptune. Idk what this is but it sounds really painful lol. But if you say that his lessons will really serve me well throughout my life, then I'll be looking forward to what else he can bring for me :)
 

waybread

Well-known member
A wonderful person.

And one who can use her life lessons to be a blessing to other people struggling with the issues that you face now.
 

kshantaram

Premium Member
hope observations enable reflections and adapt :


asc lord sat retro debilated aries, aptitude for social service,
sat aries elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition;

sat retro towards jup pisces 2nd, earnings from distant lands,
economic attitude;
retro sat pisces opp mars virgo, stress-struggle in finances-family;

jup own spiritual pisces 2nd with sat,
teaching-advisory-banking-economics aptitudes;


moon acq airy, uncertain, reformist, teaching-counseling aptitudes;

moon-ketu south separative node acq hyper,
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth-lower legs-lungs-sciatica,
and detachment from family-finances;
ketu now transit moon-ketu acq coming 1.5yr to care;

sat-moon lords 1/7 over acq-aries 3/11, unfriendly signs,
merely dutiful in a relationship/marriage,
while ketu tends to be separative;

moon-rahu opp, rise-fall in life; calls for ancestor worship,
observe fast on No-moon days taking milk-fruits;
rahu leo 8th prone to toxic urological health issues;
rahu now transit natal rahu leo;


dark secretive scorpio inimical-malefic for cap asc,
stress-delays in career-recognition-income-gains;
sun-mer-venus scorpio research-occult-forensic-alchemy aptitudes;
secretive, suspicious, sentimental, passionate;
research management in govt institutes;

mer-venus lords 5/9/10 over 10th/11th inimical scorpio luck-prosperity-gains
under stress-delay; while prone to urological-skin health issues;
jup pisces trine aspect scorpio supportive and protective;

jup now transit sun-mer-venus inimical scorpio career dev, but under stress-delay;
trine jup own pisces 2nd supportive of family-finances,
trine elevated aspect cancer 7th supportive of marriage-relationship-business/vocation;



11th lord mars over virgo 8th, prone to sudden losses to care;
mars virgo critical attitude good for audit-quality control-investigation;
accident prone; urological-intestinal inflammations;

mars aspect own aries 3rd, good for initiative-progressive;
while affects health of siblings and sibling relationships;

cap asc, ambitious, hardworking, practical, event management;
sat 5-7 m later moves to own cap coming 2.5yrs;
sat cap elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition-success;


mer lord 9th, settling at 32+,


do share pointwise feedbacks, which could be interesting to learn of,

wishing well,


kshantaram
 
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