Vocation and Uranus/Neptune/Saturn Conjunct in 10th house Cap

Kittea

Member
I have an approaching Saturn Return and I'm feeling pretty pessimistic about my progress and where I am currently at in terms of life goals and vocation.



Here are somethings that popped out to me that I think may have an influence.

Uranus/Neptune/Saturn conjunction in Capricorn in the 10th ruled by Sagittarius.

Mars/Chiron conjunct in the 4th forming multiple oppositions to the 10th house planets.

Taurus Sun in the 2nd house

Moon in Virgo in the 6th house

Duplicated 3rd/4th in Gemini and 9th/10th Sagittarius

Pisces Ascendant

Pisces North Node in the 12th



I also have always felt restricted by my fear of failure, (10th house saturn stuff I think) perfectionism (I'm thinking a lot of this comes from 6th house moon in Virgo. Especially with Zosma fixed star there) depression and anxiety (probably all the 10th house action going on and their oppositions to my mars conjunct Chiron in the 4th and moon in virgo/Zosma).

I have always felt a sense of loss/wondering in terms of what it is exactly that I'm suppose to do with my life (Neptune, conjunct Saturn and Uranus, Pisces ascendant/north node and maybe also Acumen conjunct my Sagittarius MC).

I also have always hated the idea of feeling stuck in terms of location and travel. (I have duplicated 3rd/4th and 9th/10th houses in Gemini and Sagittarius) So I always imagined that whatever profession I was doing or would settle into would involve some travel.

When Saturn transit conjuncted my MC twice last year (2017) I applied for a study aboard (1st time) and (2nd time) then went to China for a 2 week study abroad. The trip while I was grateful and learned a lot was traumatic for me and I suspect added onto a burnout that I've recently experienced (non stop work and school for the past 4 years including the summers).




For some other personal background:

I enjoy creative artistic pursuits (such as singing and various visual arts) but overall my confidence has always been low, even in childhood. I wasn't allowed much room to explore what I would enjoy growing up and grew up in restrictive household. I could never picture myself pursuing something I wasn't passionate about. In my teen years I realized I wanted to pursue something within the arts.

After I graduated high school I ended up working in grocery/retail for 5 1/2 years before I went back to school.

Currently I am at a community college (has been about 4 years now) but I feel like my progress (in life and education) has always been slow. I plan to transfer to a 4 year institution and currently am pursuing an Ethnic Studies major and I'm hoping to also minor or somehow continue to study music. It took me a long time to figure out what major I wanted to pursue.

I also have a interest in herbalism, and recently within the past year have also begun to get involved in (courses, scholarships) in permaculture through a social justice lense. I've also recently been getting more involved in community organizing and social justice (although my interest in Ethnic Studies began to first develop around the time I went back to school). Giving something back to community/universe is something that is important and needed in my life I think.

I also wish to develop my writing skills (especially creative writing) to incorporate into songwriting.

I really enjoy music and would love to pursue this as a career/source of income however I never felt I had to skills or talent for it. I figured it would always be something I would have on the side or as a second job but not dependent on it as a main source of income. I am also extremely shy when it comes to performance and public speaking (mostly solo) which I feel is somewhat essential if I want to continue to pursue music.



Does anyone have an insights? It's much appreciated.
 

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GentlyJohnny

Active member
Please don't get your hopes up as I am not here to provide answer. Just wanna share the similar struggles we faced due to us having similar placements.

With Neptune conjunct MC and also squared by my Sun, I have absolutely no sense of career direction (and sense of direction too but it's a different story) and identity (though it is likely because of my Sun in 7th). Can confirm Moon in Virgo brings perfectionism and anxiety into my life and my fearing of failure probably comes from Moon squared by Saturn. Speaking of Saturn, I think, I could be wrong, Saturn in 10th, especially well aspect in your case, doesn't mean fear of failure, it means you really want to achieve whatever you have in mind, it is more akin to determination. We both have Pisces Ascendant, and from my own experience, it has more to do with how others see you; it should have nothing to do with how you feel lose.
 

Kittea

Member
Thanks for the reply GentlyJohnny.

I never thought about Saturn in the 10th as determination before. It's usually easy for me to get caught up in the less positive associations. But I think the focus on determination makes sense, which also means there can be disappointment if a person feels they aren't working/living up to that (that could be my virgo moon perspective kicking in there too).

I can totally relate about the Virgo moon perfectionism, anxiety and fear of failure.

About the Pisces ascendant, I was thinking in terms of its ruler Neptune being conjunct Saturn and Uranus that creates confusion in regards to vocation/career. That could also reflect as others misunderstanding/misreading or a person projecting a type of mysterious public image/persona since it is in the 10th house also.
 
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