Musical talent and work ethic

I'm wondering what my chart might indicate (good or bad) about my ability to flourish as a musician. I started playing guitar at 13, and I quickly became better than everyone around me. Still, I never had the drive to become a truly advanced -level player, and I was almost in a state of arrogant denial in my younger years. In hindsight, I believe that I was truly afraid of pushing myself beyond my mental breaking point, which seems to be the only chance I have of appeasing that little demon that I've carried around since then.

I'm not some child prodigy, so I have to grind this out in a very unspectacular way. If I were to commit to realizing this potential, I could all but guarantee a lot of frustration and depression along the way. I'm convinced that there aren't any better paths to happiness.

I don't care about money or recognition or relationships anymore. My only concern at this time is realizing my potential. So, what does my chart have to say about my chances? Am I "delusional?" Does this talent have a ceiling? Am I capable of becoming a workaholic type?

I appreciate your feedback in advance.

hi GenieCrush
first off you have a mercury/node conjunction with is a sign of intelligence and psychic abilities. but as you are subject to "cosmic energies" you may sometimes be confused or uncertain if your thoughts are coherent or delusional. they are not delusional, you do have the ability to "read" others minds and have them pick up your thoughts as well.so if you have ever noticed such things they are normal for you because you have paranormal insights to the world. this aspect also means that what you think ,what ideas and visualizations have a great potential to be real. so your music skills are a real if you discipline your self. and that is really is the crux of your question. can you discipline yourself to harness your abiltiies? this question is obvious as you have Uranus biquintile to your mars/Jupiter conjunction. Uranus can bring genius inspiration and abilities to your but the biquintile can be very abrupt. it can make you impatient and not give you the discipline you need to develop your talents. you have the drive and physical energy because the Jupiter/mars conjunction is square to the node. this is a sign of success and often bring great wealth, if you choose to focus on wealth.
your real problem is your Saturn/Neptune conjunction. this can give low self esteem and give you a very "lazy" insecure side. that is what I am picking up. you know you have the abilities and drive but your elf esteem haunts you and makes you think you are just imagining your potential. Saturn/Neptune conjunction are very bad for self discipline because they draw you to idleness rather than action.

here is a generic description of how the mercury and node conjunction can manifest in a person's chart
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63539
mercury conjunct the node is an indices of psychic power as well as extreme intelligence. often there is an intuitive intelligence that allows a indivual to get to the center of his analysis without having to read through the breath of the subject matter.this aspect is very inspirational and tend s to be associated with truth seekers.it is a sigh of a magician. edgar Cayce had such a conjunction though the strong sextile/trine pattern also contributes to his power.
the south node conjunct to mercury also give psychic and mental power but there is much more astral/psychic power and a person can easily become insane if they do not understand what happens in their minds.
the south node gives great creativity and the power of thought forms is very strong.
Theravada Buddhism teaches that reality is a series of thought forms, each arises spontaneously to be replaced by a new thought form. so reality is a sequence of thought forms. the emphasis is on thoughts being the center of reality.
http://www.dhammawiki.com/index.php?title=Theravada
this concept is very similar to a branch of quantum theory called informational quantum. in this theory the transmission of "data" is the base of quantum reality
http://www.technologyreview.com/view...tum-mechanics/

the images I use for the nodes are that the north node is were the essence of spirit enter into manifestation, it is the beginning of time. thought forms accumulate and grow until these thought form leave at the south node. but not all thought forms disappear, so there is a accumulation of "thought forms" around the south node that give the power to mercury conjunct the south node. therefore mercury conjunct south node give a very creative and intelligent mind as there are many preexistent thought formulation surrounding this conjunction. for this reason the mind can be overwhelmed much more easily by a south node conjunction to mercury than a north node conjunction. the nemesis of the north node is dissipation of mental powers because of lack of desire in the physical plane. here mercury is closer to the "Infinite" as the cycle of creation that has just begun while the mercury south node conjunction gleans from all the thoughts and experience's that have occurred during the cycle. mercury conjunct the south node has access to much psychic fertilizer that has been created. the north node mercury conjunction is "purer " in the sense that the plane of reality does not have as much power over it. but the north and south node are of the same energy and hence they can often affect one in the same way.one must be careful of psychic overloads ,especially with the south node can happen if too much psychic data enter the mind that is not integrated. this is why the make up of the personality structure is so important.
mercury conjunct the south node with a rigid and restricted personality structure would not have the flexibility to use the infinite data coming thru the node and could become crazy or mean ,rash and deceptive. this position is an aspect of a black magician as the psychic force tends to dominate and accumulate rather that teaches and disperses as mercury conjunct the north node is prone to do .

as the node rules the astral, either conjunction of mercury and the south or north node gives great psychic potential and potential for vivid.astral dreams . this is a position of the magician because the thought forms of these conjunction travel and stay coherent on the higher planes. and can affect others from the astral plane.
Isabel hickey considered mercury your soul, the entity that threads you through life sand death.

rahu

Thanks for your response.

I would say "abrupt" is a good word. I do feel like I can't sustain a consistent work ethic for much longer than a month at a time, and then it takes me a couple months to get back to producing the same kind of results. I definitely become very lazy.

Moon/Jupiter/Mars in the sign of voice and speech and larynx-throat- conjunct all together give grand voice like an opera singer. A lot of Moon/Jupiter people tends to be opera singer. But I don't think that your case. You might be very energetic speaker and optimistic streak or eccentric to you with this combination. Even your MC is in the sign of Taurus that rules also the throat and musical abilities. And the ruler of Taurus Venus conjunct the Sun, you identify with art, amiability, sociality.

I could also see a great writer or at least music writer. There is great emphasizes on Mercury, writing abilities. Most of your planets falls in the area of relationship. I could see you writing about relationships, heartbreak..etc.

You have stellium in the fifth house and node in the first house, emphasizes on ego, creativity and need to shine and to be the center of stage and unique. Saturn in the fifth house might doubt their creative ability, but they work very hard to perfect them. Neptune/Saturn is found in directors, actors, visionary people who are able to make their visions concrete in music videos, or films.

When you Saturn moves to the fifth house to Capricorn in 2018 or 2019, you might have your big break, breakthrough.

Yes, you have artistic abilities in your chart.

Virgo rising people or Virgo energy hold work in high esteem. They like to work as work seems to provide them with discipline. They like to work as it seems a way to perfect oneself. Virgo is the opposite of Pisces, the sign of escapism of reality so Virgo tends to be very realistic and workaholic.

Mars in the 10th house is very ambitious. They are very independent and always focused on maintaining great social positions conjunct Jupiter it adds to this and you might be seen very energetic, aggressive, ego centric and ruthless sometimes. It is also indication of popularity.

Well, I go with the obvious. This jumped at me:

Sun in Pisces: Music, emotion
Venus in Pisces: Artist, music.
Jupiter midheaven: Massive ambition. Probably success in career
Saturn in the 5th, Capricorn: You got the persistence. Indeed, 2018-2020 can be successful, if you work hard.

Saturn will say: Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard.

So try to focus on working a little harder if talent is a problem.
Not much else to say, because it's kind of obvious: Go for it.