Life, the adventure of a lifetime

Through my meditative musings, comtemplative reflective introverted way of thinking and finding myself, I think I've found through a very intense, often very intriguing life that seemed to have no pattern, is that there is such a thing as fate.

My life was often roadless, I'm a disabled person in Britain and found it extremely hard to cope, missed out on education, I lost my father at a very unfortunate age and was emotionally abused by a older brother.

My life has had some very intense friendships, meetings, bonds, synergies, attractions, but lately, I'm starting to feel I'm not the only one.

The idea I've come across, is we're here to discover something. Overcome obstacles, challenges. People are meant to influence us, influence our thinking. Everything is like some sort of meditation. You are always in some sort of different state of consciousness, wether you're partying or alone, you're discovering something.

I've come to this conclusion when I wake up this morning, my day, I'm realizing, it's going to be beyond recognition. It's going to be confusing. I can have plans, we all have plans, but things will happen and I notice everything changes your mindset.

It's like we're looking constantly at a blackboard, but we can't see that. I've meditated for a very very long time. I've had a very confusing life and I can see, everything happens for some reason or another.

But humans, we look for challenges. We want ease but we crave adventure and that's what's fascinating. Unconsciously we're always looking to have sort of life revelation. We want change, we want to bond, but then we want to be alone to think and dream and do discover ourselves.

Individuals along the way, they find us. The interesting thought is that, life is often, unknowingly, like this movie I watched here, called Waking Life.

But we don't see that because we're not conscious enough, but everything is here to drive us to ascend. It's a game. We're in like, some sort of game.

It's the hate or love game, it's fear or love. Do you hide away and feel your insecurities for many painful years? Or do you fight them and discover your inner self? Everyone is hurting. The hurt hurt the hurt and they teach us.

They teach us, we're all students, we're in some sort of snakes and ladders game. Yes you work everyday, but you meet people at work who change you, you grow, you expand, if you contract it's like, your life was supposed to be a certain way to make you grow. We're in some sort of growing trials or a state of meditation.

I think someone even who parties alot, they're discovering something deeper with the people around them. It doesn't matter, but eventually the trials come.

I'm saying, I'm starting to not believe in accidents. God puts them there, someone is doing this, making events happen. It's like, he thinks we won't ever understand the lesson if he knew it was to test us. Like we'd be angry. Like, somehow, something connects us all.

This thing, whatever it is, it's doing something. You're either dreaming your life, but I think often we're in some sort of dream state. We can't help but influenced by some sort of multiple dimensional force. Our lives are often in a dream state, that's what it's so hard to change each other.

Think of everyone around you in some sort of illusion constantly. I see this now, you may think there is a reality, but the only reality you see is this dream you're living. They're living.

And they're walking some sort of path. Someone is guiding them, like a pied piper. We don't see it, but somehow, we're being influenced to bond, we're being influenced to keep trying.

And your chart? Or if you think hard enough? It shows that.

I personally found out somehow, I'm connected to helping people. It just happens. I actually am a 6 in numerology and lots of self knowledge tests I've done. My chart I figured out myself through seeing the consistencies in aspects and actually knowing more and more about myself. There is a way to do self rectification, IF YOU KNOW YOURSELF DEEP ENOUGH.

But that's all it is isn't it. It's a game. To bond, to learn what hate is, what love is, these feelings. We can't remain in the hate state. Our enemies teach us, our friends, they soothe us.

It's a question are you going to remain in a negative state? The more you don't move, the more this force, it mitigates you. Until you're frustrated.

This is what I know, everything is a test to get higher. Astrology in fact, if you study yourself, your chart or do what I did in noticing certain similar consistencies in aspects in your chart to dates of powerful changing life events. Your chart it tells you who you are in this physical form. But it's not who you are, it's your expression, your transformative energy.

I don't believe maybe we do have personalities ok, what if, all this is, is a vehicle ok, the personality is the energy we use to transform. But we're from another dimensional state, a realm. But this body, this energy, it's the vehicle we chose somehow. The spirit is inside, but the interesting thing is I often think when we build vehicles, we maybe trying to reflect that.

But they're energies, expressions, which show something. I think they could be related to elements, if you see people as elements, things look alot clearer.

I'm a water it's obvious. I'm a bipolar, wishy washy, water. But some are fiery, some are air, some are literally energies.

I can see it folks, the more I can see this video game, this thing we're in, the ascension of a primal force, everyone, I know this sounds bad for some but I do think we know what we're doing too. The thing is? We don't know why.

Unbelievable?

Part 2: The Dark But Prevalent Truth

But, the thing is, the more we think we're disconnected from the great cycle that governs life, the more we destroy it, thus ourselves.

The planet is a part of us, it governs us, it maintains life for every living creature, but the more we become alienated from it, the more we in fact, are destroying ourselves and infact deterioriate

A man who lusts for power and control is pushing himself deeper into insanity. The more he sees himself even more different than the race who considers itself different, which is the odd part.

We see our lives in patterns, we think A is to B, so and such. We want to control and protect ourselves, or give love and think of others. Corruption and power it locks us in the former state, but it leaves us fearful, fearful of losing control.

We're infact some sort of family, a brotherhood. But like a family, we push and we shove; there is alot of us, but our evolution cycle is going to kill us and infact the earth, unless we learn to live with nature and balance.

It doesn't mean lets go live in the trees, it means some sort of system that respects and lets nature in. I think lately in the world we're seeing the effect of our madness, our egotistical 'This is man's way, man has a life pattern, man isn't from source or anywhere, man is just here, life is just life'

And the mantra is self destructive. We're a family, we're connected, we teach each other, but we're family and if we don't learn to see that, cynicism and fear will destroy everything.

Your thoughts?

But the BOTTOM LINE IS: The more you know yourself, the more you connect to source, the more you think, the more you know.

Palm reading I recommend, astrology is a science imo that should be acknowledge for it's ingenuity, also possibly tarot I haven't tried that but think of reason to try, because these methods expand the mind, deep discussions expand the consciousness.

it sounds like you're having some moments of self-realisation, realisation in general, and that things are sensible and harmonious/acceptable.. congratulations! with significant challenges these states can be difficult to attain. so i really only want to acknowledge your expression of that feeling.

my *reactions* which i am only expressing as my *reactions* are -

"i'm glad i ******** before the internet" i'm "in the habit" of being very reserved, or deferring from, making declarative statements about the nature of (my)self.. because realisation is a process that continues.. (sometimes it's nice to put the parking brake on for a while) by not "declaring" i have no "things to adhere to" which means i have less to relinquish when i move on/"forwards".

and.. in all of life.. certainly i am not a misanthrope.. i treasure people, though i give myself permission to not express it or adhere to it.. and all life.. but when i was younger, in high school and college and after college say.. i was going through adolescence in a nation i was not native to, and tbh even schooling and associating with very bright, accomplished people, i pretty much always feel like socialising is dead weight, holding me back.. the fact of inter-instance communication slows down the processes that engross me.. i don't want to sound dismissive .. because.. i no longer interpret social experiences in the same light .... but whatever brilliance others have to offer me, i've always found in myself, faster... and so many people are inundated with obstacles that there's not much other than sludge to interact with them. i don't find social interaction rewarding, which puts me in the *uncomfortable* position of doing it because i feel i have something that benefits them... one could say, as an aquarian... i engage society, because society needs some blooming help! such an obstacle to everything in my life since forever!

if we are a family, then, i'm in my latter incarnations, as has been suggested.. what i'm saying by this is of course.. be careful about your self definition, so tha tit doesn't stop you from progressing forward.. it's *wonderful* to feel that love from others, acceptance, growth, synergy, interactive benefit... but it serves it's purpose to a point, it is *not* an eschaton, a final point of perfection, and people who feel that "family" owns everyone, do *not* understand those who transcend! no one has the right to influence my perception, transcendence, or nontranscendence, or anything.

there are certain people who talk about "family" -it's liek some of the thought was that "2012" was about the end of the "tribal" (family) state and the beginning of the truly incusive, universal state... well, i say, good luck.... people talk about "family" but i've understood the birds for many years now, and i don't see other people who talk about family, or have interpersonal telepathy, reflecting this ability, so i must conclude, my "family" is somewhat larger than theirs, and those who contest it, get reality handed to them again and again and again all day long. when you can hear the winds and the clouds and the ground and the stars there is family. anything less than that is a clique, a human clique, a mammalian clique, a mere street gang.

it's like.. imo, aquarius is this manifestation of "friendship" as kindness ot all living things... but pisces is one step wiser than this.. because the earth is an illusion, so trying to aid it is nonsense. but horses for courses, one day at a time

maybe there is a family, maybe there is also, at the same time, only one, or none at all, maybe attempting to define things is hazardous to the perception. certainly, whatever the case, we are where *we* are, and not where someone else is, so we have what we have to go on, and not more, so stay true to your own perceptions!

..or none at all.. at all, there is none.. at whole... there is no part.. because there is only whole.. .....and this is how we have 12th house of self undoing.

interesting for me, my name translates in an old language to "hymn of destruction". that heavy bodhi action isn't always fun, mahavira had nails hammered into his ears.


i hope one day, i can post enough on the internet, that society will just be all cool, and not majorly mess with me, because the things i want to do, with whatever paucity of desire i have that remains, are so modest, so self-contained... but society wants to get all in my face.. as in the face of so many people... so i post, and post, and post....