You have Cancer Sun and Mercury in your 7H. Sun is also involved in a T-square with Jupiter and Saturn. Your Venus also trine Moon and Sextile Saturn. Mars also loosely conjuncts the descendant.
There a a lot of things going on that offset your Gemini Des. And so far I think these are the things that match your description of the people you attract. Older people are the Saturn thing. Caring people are of Cancer and Moon. The aggressiveness comes from Mars.
Gemini isn't just about the stereotyped cheerful personality. Maybe you are already in contact with Gemini quality and don't know it. Do the people you like like to talk or write in any way? Do they have multiple interest/talents/jobs/what have you? Do they seem to have two different personalities?
I'll tell you about some of the people I have / I've had and you guys can give me more insight:
-I have a close Leo friend of 10 years who has Sun, Moon, and Mercury in Leo. Much more direct and communicative than me (I'm more reserved and take longer to open up my deepest feelings), sometimes feels a little overbearing when he wants me to open up before I'm ready, but I know he genuinely cares about my well-being and happiness. He loves art and literature, he writes and he paints and is a teacher. Loves to travel and do things while I'm perfectly fine staying home and following more or less a daily routine. I also like seeing new places but I feel I'm less energetic than him despite me being much younger than him. He's also much more practical and worldly wise than me, he knows how to handle complex situations that would make me totally lost. He's had a hard life, he loves his children but his marriage is trash. His wife's 20 years younger than him, he admitted he went for her because his sex drive was too strong. He says he sees wisdom in my friendship / companionship-first approach. He doesn't know his time of birth. His Venus is in Cancer, which means it's conjunct both my Sun and Mercury. My Leo friend's like an older mentor to me.
-I have another close friend of 13 years, Taiwanese-Canadian. Born on November 17th, 1997, which puts him at a late degree of Scorpio. His Mercury's in Sagittarius (forgot the degree) so it's not conjunct his sun. Moon's in Gemini. I don't know his exact time of birth. He writes and makes things up more than I do, but in a completely different subject area than my older Leo friend. He likes making up countries, writing full analyses of their military strength. He's also very much into politics and is thinking about starting his own political party. On the other hand, I absolutely DESPISE politics and politicians. His Venus and Mars are both in Capricorn. His Jupiter's in Aquarius and is is conjunct my Moon. His Venus and Saturn are square each other.
Here's something that's really surprising about my two friends. You'd think that my older Leo friend with 3 personal planets in Leo would likely be into all things military / police related. However, he served in the army and absolutely hated it. On the other hand, my Scorpio friend likes everything military-related and at one point thought about becoming a fighter pilot in the USAF. He's proud that his dad served in the Air Force of the ROC and wants to carry on a family tradition. His mom was a nurse at a military hospital. Both his parents are Capricorns and I also know them fairly well.
-I have a close Aquarius friend born on February 5th, 1993. I don't know his exact time of birth, but his moon's in Cancer. His sun would be conjunct my moon. His Venus is in Aries and Mars is also in Cancer. Jupiter is in Libra and Saturn is in Aquarius. He loves gardening and collecting old items such as militaria (military things) and coins. He also likes strange creatures such as stick and leaf insects. He's not into food and rest like a Sun in Cancer such as me, he's actually quite energetic likely due to Moon Conjunct Mars (I have the trine but I also have Moon Trine Venus). Sometimes he remarks on how old ways of living are being lost. Politically he's conservative and somewhat war-like, and he's very observant of people he works with and people around him. He's from HK by the way. His Venus is in an early degree of Aries, squaring his Mars.
-My mom has an early degree of Aquarius (January 23rd, 1970) with Moon in Leo and Mercury in Capricorn. Her Venus is in Aquarius tightly conjunct her Sun, and her Mars is at 28.12 degrees Pisces. She was born at either 8:00 or 8:30 PM in Chongqing, making her either a Leo or a Virgo ascendant, but from the vibes she gives off to people she's much more likely to be a Leo ascendant. People can tell she's a fashionista / really social type and she is adept at dealing with people, though deep down I know she has many insecurities and is fearful of love (Venus Square Saturn). She married when she was 26 and only at my grandmother's insistence. I don't know anything about her love life in her twenties except that she did have a boyfriend but I don't know why things didn't work out. Had she not met my dad I can easily see her waiting until she's 30+, or never marrying. She once told me she never really wanted marriage and a family (but didn't tell me why), but changed her mind after I was born. Despite the latter part of what she said, it still hurt me a bit though I realize people can change their views on things. She has Jupiter in Scorpio and Saturn in Taurus. She presents a strong and domineering face to the world, and she has quite a temper, but she's a lot more unsure and insecure about herself than she looks.
-My dad was born on May 2nd, 1965, also in Chongqing. His Moon's either in a late degree of Taurus or an early degree of Gemini, because I don't know his exact time of birth. He and my mom divorced when I was 7. Looking at his chart, though, he has either 7 or 8 planets all in feminine signs. His Mercury's still in Aries, and when they were married (and even many years after their divorce) my mom still complained about how he's the kind of person who wears his mind on his sleeve and won't think twice about saying anything inappropriate. He's had affairs before, when my mom went to see him in another city he lied to her that he was not with any other woman, but my mom found many strands of black hair in the hotel room and traces of dried sperm on the bed (yes, I'm conjuring vivid imagery) from sex. While they were together in that city, my mom picked up a call in the middle of the night from one of the women he was having an affair with. What shocked me the most after checking his chart is the fact that he also has Venus Sextile Saturn with a closer orb than me (2.29 versus my 4.36)! His Venus is also trine his Mars while mine's is conjunct.
-One of my exes was born on November 5th, 1997. I think she told me she was born at around 7:30 AM in the morning. She has a Capricorn Moon, Mercury in Scorpio but not conjunct her Sun, Venus and Mars in Sagittarius Conjunct each other. Jupiter in Aquarius and retrograde Saturn in Aries.
-My other ex was older than me, she was born on January 20th, 1990, putting her right on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius but her sun's at 0 degrees Aquarius (she says she was born at night). I don't know her exact time of birth but she has Scorpio Moon, Mercury and Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Cancer and Saturn in Capricorn.
Both my exes were, at least in some ways, more worldly and psychologically older than me regardless of age. It didn't work out due to my inner state of turmoil at the time, plus I was influenced by Red Pill ideas I read online. Both were a bit careerist, and that tapped into my insecurities (because of Red Pill) rather than appreciating them for the strong women they were and hopefully still are. I was only 18-20 at the time, the first I girl I had known since I was a kid and we communicated on and off, while the second started out as a friend (but a lot of it was long-distance). Even to this day I still think of them from time-to-time, but I'm afraid and hesitant to contact them 1) I'm afraid they're not the people they once were 2) I'm afraid they'll perceive me differently, no longer as the shy boy in need of care and reassurance (I very much still need those things), for better or worse. Due to my later introduction to affairs with the opposite sex, I was also flirting with many girls online. Nothing really sexual, mostly intellectual. I like to think it was just due to my young age and general sense of restlessness, but, if only had I knew better I would not have wasted a minute on chatting with those girls.
For better or worse, these two women have shaped me, and what I can say right now about myself is that as much as I'd like to find the person I'll spend the rest of my life with, I have deep rooted fears when it comes to breaking up / getting divorced after the initial phase of attraction is over, and I'm only 22. I am more practical and caring rather than being romantic, and I believe that nobody will be 100% happy with each other because that's just human nature. My view of relationships and marriage is that almost equal weight should be placed on understanding and accepting differences versus having what's in common. It's a balancing act. I see no thrill in the chase and would very much prefer finding love with a friend over someone I have a relationship with minus the foundation of friendship.
How might my need for comfort, protection, and reassurance, and my insecurities be reflected in my Descendant or other parts of my chart? I think if someone only saw I had my Venus and Descendant in Gemini, they'd not think any of these things about me.
Now I'm doing (and struggling) an English teacher training course and there's this girl who was born on September 24th, 1993. On the first day when I found out she's from a city very close to my hometown I was like.... wew (she was born in Chengdu). Libra sun at 1 degree with Moon in degree of Capricorn, Mercury in Libra (but not conjunct sun), Venus at 2 degrees Virgo, and Mars at 28 degrees Libra. Jupiter's Libra, Saturn (R) in Aquarius, Uranus in Capricorn, Neptune in Capricorn and Pluto in Scorpio. Thing is she's technically attached but we are already becoming friends and we've been out for dinner twice. We're both currently in York, UK and we met on November 19th, 2018. I don't know too much about her yet, but from what I've seen of her she's a lot more focused and disciplined than me when doing something, to the point where she prefers not to talk to anyone. We're very similar in the way that we don't like fast paced and stressful living. She's done a lot more traveling on her own than me. If this can be part of a greater independent streak, this is something that she shares with my ex born in 1997.
I wouldn't say she's THAT good-looking, but I feel drawn to her and I find myself doing things for her to the point of micromanaging (something I also did with my two exes and even my male friends from time-to-time). I don't know her time of birth so again, many details are missing.
I have a tendency to over-worry that people aren't being taken care of, I tend to micromanage and be a little intrusive at times to the point where I want to do almost everything for them to show that I am concerned. I've been told, as recently as last night when I had dinner with this girl, that I can take care of myself first and put my own needs first. I wonder if it's my S-C-M in Cancer in the 7th, Venus in the 6th, T-square with Saturn, Venus Sextile Saturn, or a combination of these or other aspects.
When I enter a long-term relationship, whether romantic or not, I have the expectation that things will eventually become of a heavy weight, something that ties both me and the other person and keeping us together. It's a very heavy feeling indeed, but it's difficult for me to see it another way (in a way that's more playful and lighthearted). There will be frustrations regarding differences in values, beliefs, understanding of life, communication styles and so on, and I'm still learning not to idealize people. I've become more pessimistic, or perhaps just more realistic regarding people over the years, but I still have the hope and expectation that I'll be looked after, protected, and taken care of by a good heart and soul. When I have a close and deep bond with someone, I spend lots of time thinking about what I like, what I don't really like / disagree, and the times we've had together even when they are not around. I have lots of trouble telling them how I feel, though. As I get older, I'm also coming to realize that as much as I like to think I'm independent and can take care of myself, deep down my self-worth is, in fact, very much tied to the happiness of others rather than being independent and making myself happy. When a friend of mine goes through a breakup or something I can really relate to, it's as if I'm going through it myself. Then I become super concerned and try to give them whatever advice I can give, and at the same time, I feel that what they've been through may very well be a reflection of what I could experience myself, heightening feelings of insecurity. I've tried to salvage the failing relationships of my friends (even when deep down I know it may not be the best idea to continue) when even the voice inside myself is torn between break up vs. find a compromise.