guardian00angel
Active member
I'm interested in hearing stories regarding this aspect since I am dealing with it now. I also don't mind stories involving Saturn conjunct Asc. transit because I think them to have similar effects on people.
Before I share my story, I wanted to list my natal aspects.
Aquarius Ascendant
Pisces Saturn in 1st House
I have found that this prog. aspect came around the time I started high school. Before high school, I was dealing with questioning my existence and reality after a grand illusion of my father was shattered. With that in mind, coming in contact with my high school classmates just amplified my questioning. I natally have Saturn square my Gemini Venus, Moon, and Mercury, so the majority of my generation has their Saturn squaring those three planets.
I felt like a complete alien.
I felt like I couldn't emotionally connect with anyone, even with my 4 and only friends. I felt like I was in a box when interacting with others. Sometimes I let out a bit of my silly side and felt put down... A lot of misjudgments about me...
I was dealing with extreme depression and anxiety and I won't go into detail, but I felt I was slowly fading away as Saturn came closer to my prog. Ascendant. Since I have Moon conjunct Mercury, my ability to speak depends on how I feel about myself. My speech and my creative juices depleted and worsened over time, and everything I thought made me, "Me," capped up.
When it was a complete conjunction, I was in college and started my first job. I lost my passion and interest in anything...I stopped going to college and quit my job after few months.
Aah just so much....
However, as Saturn was slowly pulling away from my Ascendant and I had tr. Neptune conjunct Saturn, I decided to do some inner work. I think what Saturn was trying to tell me was to oil up and reframe my inner self, which was built by someone else's expectations of me. So I began stripping away the parts of me that weren't truly me.
This process was like discarding a bunch of artwork that I made to please the public rather than myself. I closed up shop, withdrew from the public influence, and stared deeply at a blank canvas for a long time. I had to do a lot of thinking about what I want this artwork to be. How will my art please myself? Every once a while someone comes knocking in on my store demanding art, but I was not ready and didn't let them in.
Things are getting better now that Saturn is moving further away from prog. Ascendant.
I already feel bits and pieces of the chains just rusting off. It's been a lot of stillness recently... But I've done a few things here and there that were nice, like volunteering. 
And the thought of warmer weather is already tickling my heart! 
Ah I cannot wait for it!!!!
Before I share my story, I wanted to list my natal aspects.
Aquarius Ascendant
Pisces Saturn in 1st House
I have found that this prog. aspect came around the time I started high school. Before high school, I was dealing with questioning my existence and reality after a grand illusion of my father was shattered. With that in mind, coming in contact with my high school classmates just amplified my questioning. I natally have Saturn square my Gemini Venus, Moon, and Mercury, so the majority of my generation has their Saturn squaring those three planets.
I felt like a complete alien.
I felt like I couldn't emotionally connect with anyone, even with my 4 and only friends. I felt like I was in a box when interacting with others. Sometimes I let out a bit of my silly side and felt put down... A lot of misjudgments about me...
I was dealing with extreme depression and anxiety and I won't go into detail, but I felt I was slowly fading away as Saturn came closer to my prog. Ascendant. Since I have Moon conjunct Mercury, my ability to speak depends on how I feel about myself. My speech and my creative juices depleted and worsened over time, and everything I thought made me, "Me," capped up.
When it was a complete conjunction, I was in college and started my first job. I lost my passion and interest in anything...I stopped going to college and quit my job after few months.
Aah just so much....
However, as Saturn was slowly pulling away from my Ascendant and I had tr. Neptune conjunct Saturn, I decided to do some inner work. I think what Saturn was trying to tell me was to oil up and reframe my inner self, which was built by someone else's expectations of me. So I began stripping away the parts of me that weren't truly me.
This process was like discarding a bunch of artwork that I made to please the public rather than myself. I closed up shop, withdrew from the public influence, and stared deeply at a blank canvas for a long time. I had to do a lot of thinking about what I want this artwork to be. How will my art please myself? Every once a while someone comes knocking in on my store demanding art, but I was not ready and didn't let them in.
Things are getting better now that Saturn is moving further away from prog. Ascendant.
I already feel bits and pieces of the chains just rusting off. It's been a lot of stillness recently... But I've done a few things here and there that were nice, like volunteering. And the thought of warmer weather is already tickling my heart! Ah I cannot wait for it!!!!Attachments
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