Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

IleneK said:

Narcissism is incredible self-involvement, all about the self, not others. It can be either grandiose or self-denigrating. Thinking you know everything, are always right, or the opposite.

So a traditional grandiose narcissist can have an abused, damaged child who is incredibly negatively self-focused on his or her damage, abuse. It is a negative narcissism, but narcissism, never the less. And it results in the inability to be close to anyone as you describe, just like the grandiose parent really can't get close, be intimate, with anyone. And both kinds of narcissists have boundary problems, neither type ever really knowing where their boundaries begin or end. Negative narcissists may be red carpets from grandiose ones, but they are both narcissists just the same.

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Abby83 said:

Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.

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MadArchitect said:

the strong 12th house may have a lot of meanings , can indicate
actors ,musicians ,music or film producers,filmmakers or any kind of behind the scenes activities-professions.
occult spirituality etc many many more not necessary house of destruction

dakota johnson for example has strong 12th house
she also has saturn ruler of her ascendant(capricorn) in 12th house
many actors tend to have this


i have stellium in 12th house in capricorn sun,saturn,neptune,uranus in capricorn
and i can assure you this: i would NEVER sacrifice myself for others. NEVER

helping other people, people who are less happy -less lucky than me then YES i will do that.
but not sacrifice.


even if you have strong 12th house its in your hand to control those narcissist people
and the situations around you.
its their fault if people accept to be the victim of others and not because of 12th house


12th house does not necessary shows a victim mentality this is the stereotype of the 12th house

now for the narcissistic thing probably ruler of 7th house doing bad aspects with neptune or uranus or bad aspected neptune uranus inside the 7th house?

can you please post your birth details to see your natal chart ?(if you want)

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Abby83 said:

Hello,

It's more the fact that I attract them and cant stand them and they can see I'm a kind person so they chase me. Maybe I do still need to learn how to control them but even if they are around me their self absorption really bothers me. They cant give credit where it's due because they give it to themselves instead and that bugs me. Just this weekend I notice the situation with my friend. My friend is the down trodden outcast in the family and the MIL was a narc and they were pulled together to. Clearly it's destiny trying to teach us something.

You do have a 12th stellium but if you look at the signs they are not sacrificing or humanitarian or peacemaking sign. Cap and sag do what they want. I have libra, all about relationships and peace and getting along, which doesn't get along with aries narc types.

Here's my natal. I cant help but notice all the ppl who were narcs in my life were represented by ALL of those planets in the first house. And all the sweet ppl I love and have respect for are the planets in the 12th and 11th. Another thing I find unbelievably coincidental (and no offence to IleneK ) is that the 4 biggest narcs in my life, all of their names started with I. Two of them had the same name.

EDIT: I just want to add how I had another example this weekend confirmed by my tarot. This time it wasn't my Mother in Law, but it was my friend's mother in law, both of them have same ethnicity. My husband and I became godparents and run the celebrations as we were responsible to do. My friend's MIL is represented by Jupiter in my 1st house (once again that 1st house!!!!) and she was causing seriously disrespectful trouble again just like my MIL (in my 1st house). It was all egocentric narc behaviour once again. Not sure how u can control that. I mean I stood up for myself but they still attempt it regardless. My friend is such a beautiful sweet daughter in law and the MIL is a dragon to her too. I was surprised what she did to me. Totally inappropriate. My husband was angered too.

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CancerEvolve said:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99154

Cancer will wise up and will then become stronger, Cancer is not a weak sign, outwardly when people know us we are soft, but we have massive armor.

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MadArchitect said:

Po



I understand maybe you should also look at your transits and progressions

you have scorpio rising and the ruler of your chart pluto is on the 12th house
Your sun is on the 12th house too.
But the sun in t he 12th is not the issue

Pluto in the 12th is the real deal here pluto in 12h its a very paranormal psychic position
it can give psychic abilities

Pluto its a magnetic planet and placed on the 12th house can make the matters of this house very intense, and powerfull

but i believe even we have difficult positions we can still control the situations

Have you ever heard about the law of attraction?

When you think about something too much it can manifest around you

What we tend to feel think and analyze a lot it can really manifest around us.


I noticed this to myself ,whenever i think about something too much it tends to happen
in real life

whenever im thinking and obsessing about a person too much then next moment hours
That person shows up to me,o r even call me or texts me(crazy i know)

or i remember couple months ago i was thinking and analyzing much about

"Why people always pay a lot of attention to me for no reason?"

And the more i was thinking about it ,the more it was happening..
it was really annoying

Since i stopped thinking
and obsessing about people and situations the negative manifestation stopped!

you should do the same,try to think and analyze much about the things you want in your
life ,
And avoid to bring negative thoughts in your mind

try to not think a lot about the things you dont want,because if you do. these thoughts
will manifest.


dont forget that both we have plutonian and 12th house influence in our charts ,so the paranormal activities and psychic abilities are very intense .

You should try to use your hidden plutonian 12th house powers for your own good
if you learn how to do that the 12th house and plutonian energy can work on your behalf.

you may atttact these people because of your pluto of 12th house ,but remember our thoughts psychology is what usually manifest around us.

I ve done many experiments with the law of attraction and i know for me this thing works
for some others maybe not, not everyones the same.

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demetraceres said:

I just need to comment this a little bit. I have mentioned Cancer and Pisces in the context of this thread and I didn't have time to elaborate it little further. I have seen and read now your thread and I completely understand the reactions.

I don't think there are specific sun signs which can be directly connected with victim or narcissistic personality (or any other kind of personality). What I've had in mind was only possibility of a very strong influence of specific sign in natal chart and even this in combination with other indicators.

My personal experiences with different sun signs (of no statistical importance though): none of Libra sun signs I know have this malignant narcissistic traits and on the other hand I was a target of narcissistic abuse by Cancer and Pisces sun sign. This single experiences can't tell much about any of this sign.

My sun sign Aries is also many times connected with mass murderers, kidnappers and generally with awful kind of people. I can't relate much to this, though.

I've just had to explain this not te be misunderstood.

Otherwise, very insightful and effective debate.

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demetraceres said:

Abby83 and MadArchitect: as I see it what you are talking about are personal patterns that have an origin in childhood conditioning. It would be helpful to understand and feel the circumstances in which they have occured.

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Abby83 said:

Are you saying that I need to try and understand the childhood conditioning of the narc or the childhood conditioning of myself? Regardless, there's not much you can do in the present situation. Life goes on and you have things in life you need to do without the need to focus on feeding the ego of the narc. No person out there has the energy resources to feed the narc. It is a bottomless pit. They are never satisfied and will always criticise u whilst sapping your energy.

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demetraceres said:

The childhood conditioning of ourselves - it can help to certain extent, but it takes lots of time. I would never advice to feed the ego of the narc. though it could be also helpful to understand the way they function and how to protect agains it.

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demetraceres said:

Abby83 and MadArchitect: as I see it what you are talking about are personal patterns that have an origin in childhood conditioning. It would be helpful to understand and feel the circumstances in which they have occured.

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AppLeo said:

I've noticed that narcissists tend to date or love other narcissists.

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Abby83 said:

Here is the definition of narcissists I experience -

A person who wants every single person in the room of a party or school or church or shop or anywhere to think they are the most beautiful and interesting person there to look at and talk to and praise and pay attention to. A person who is extremely outraged and sick at the thought that there may be someone out there who is younger, smarter, wealthier, a better cook or better father, mother. Extremely bothered by the potential that someone out there may be liked more than them. They are terrible parents. They want so much attention they cant handle the youth and looks and love and happiness of their children and they try to bring the spotlight back to them and the ppl they attract and how amazing they think they were when they were kids too. The narc will get jealous of the kid's dating period and the sports and hobbies they are involved in because once again, the attention is not on them. The narc talks about themselves a lot. They are also hugely detrimental to their kids because instead of their kids being nurtured and loved and brought up to grow and learn for themselves, they are taught by the narc parent to spend all of their time and energy thinking about the narc. To serve the narc and to have the narcs best interests met. It is true that for some periods the parent will show what looks like love and care by buying the kids something nice, but it is only right before showing off to other ppl to show how apparently successful they are. The children of narcs suffer and as someone here mentioned they end up having intimacy issues and difficulty relating to others because they were trained to pay all attention to the narc or suffer greatly. The obsession of the narc is huge. I'm sure I have more to add but this is what pops out at me this time.

Now, to answer your question as to why I attract them - firstly, I'm extremely repulsed by them because I can see their false actions in their aim to get attention. That doesn't work with me. You cant fake it to get my attention, you have to be genuine, which a narc cant do. But maybe I'm here to teach them this. A lot of the times I see narcs doing bad behaviour to get attention and once again, I don't believe in rewarding them with attention if it is a bad behaviour. And funny enough, my son has taken after my mother in law (a narc) and we are working on his behaviour with the speech therapist and it is doing wonders. Now, back to what I was saying, Narcs hate me because 'I don't give them the attention they so desperately crave.' So that's why they keep chasing me. All these narcs in my life are in my 1st house. And me and my mum and brother and cousins are in the 12th house.

On the topic of self esteem, in my personal opinion I find narcs to have low self esteem because I think that if a person needs that much attention and needs to talk so much about themselves, then they are insecure. However at university they told me the opposite. They said that ppl who talk about themselves on a regular basis have high self esteem. Well, I just cant help but see the weakness. Maybe other ppl are fooled but I can see the weakness clearly.

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AppLeo said:

I've noticed that narcissists tend to date or love other narcissists.

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MadArchitect said:

omg
you are surrounded by so many mean rude people


i want to inform you that western countries like US and australia always had many narcissistic attention seeking people
but nowadays the situations is out of control
most people there tend to be narcissistic because they grow up like this.
the medias TV,Radio,Holywood movies ,music .brainwash people
and make them narcissistic. they make them to want to be the best and be like holywood superstars
they constantly seek attention and approval from others.

trust me in these countries people , only care about how you look like
how beautifull you are, how your clothes are , how tall you are and stupid things that only a teenager would care ...

i thought only teenagers or early 20's people tend to have this mentality
but it seems hat even adults-grown people
in their 30's and 40's are like this which is ridicilous.

btw im going out of topic , i want to make you understand that you cannot much about it .

based on what you wrote in your posts , these people are jealous of you ,you should accept that they will always going to be jealous no matter what
move on with your life and stop caring ,probably they jealous because you are a good mother you have a nice husband and family
and thats why these people are so mean towards you,
because they realize that you dont give a * about them because you are happy with what you have ,and that irritates people ,yes even simple things like that can make some people
mad and jealous ,

dont forget that 12th house shows karma.
these people may show up in your life because you may still have open cases with them from previous lifes
they may owe you or you may owe them
i ve dealt with things like that in the past ,

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graay ghost said:

Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.

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