Hello.I am new here.I am in a search for clarity to any small degree.I have had quite a roller coaster ride since 2000.In the time since,I have lost my mother to lung cancer,her husband to brain cancer,my son to severe schizophrenia (began when he was 16,he is now 20 haven't seen him since age 18,don't know if he is even alive),My oldest suffered from crohnes disease to a debilitating degree (tho much better now).My marriage of 23 years unraveled,and I divorced.That recently was finalized.When I refer back to 2000 as the beginning,it was a point when I psychologically melted down,and sustained a severe brain injury.
Although I am handling these events as best I can,I do have a predicament which baffles me.I only give the events above to express the degree of difficulty my chart may display.But,needless to say,everything has taken a toll.
I am currently in a relationship which lends to the emotional bent which seems so ongoing.In many ways,I feel that the things I want in a relationship are existant in this one.However....lovely as those aspects are....there is a feeling that I am chasing my tail in essence due to the degree of unavailability involved in this union.I could be more direct via personal message,but,that's the extent to which I would expose detail in wide scope.
I am a bit tired of suffering,and while I realize that relationships are delicate,compromising 'entities',I feel unsuited for the 'hand' I am playing out in this one.I will attempt to post my chart with transits,and his.....and unfortunately,I am asking whether this relationship will improve or whether there is a possibility for a long term relationship w/ someone else in the future.As it stands,I honestly do not believe that despite my feelings,that I can weather the elements of this arrangement,as I feel he is unavailable in far too many respects.Ugh,and our north nodes are opposite one another.Does that speak to a semi-karmic relationship or otherwise indicate we have come together for a purpose?
I do apologize for the length of my post,and appreciate any 'readers' as well as replies.I think my biggest question here would be when this will end between us,as I am forever on the brink and when I will find a longterm relationship.I honestly can't see myself contending with the circumstance involved in this on for much longer.Again I'd divulge the whys via p.m
Although I am handling these events as best I can,I do have a predicament which baffles me.I only give the events above to express the degree of difficulty my chart may display.But,needless to say,everything has taken a toll.
I am currently in a relationship which lends to the emotional bent which seems so ongoing.In many ways,I feel that the things I want in a relationship are existant in this one.However....lovely as those aspects are....there is a feeling that I am chasing my tail in essence due to the degree of unavailability involved in this union.I could be more direct via personal message,but,that's the extent to which I would expose detail in wide scope.
I am a bit tired of suffering,and while I realize that relationships are delicate,compromising 'entities',I feel unsuited for the 'hand' I am playing out in this one.I will attempt to post my chart with transits,and his.....and unfortunately,I am asking whether this relationship will improve or whether there is a possibility for a long term relationship w/ someone else in the future.As it stands,I honestly do not believe that despite my feelings,that I can weather the elements of this arrangement,as I feel he is unavailable in far too many respects.Ugh,and our north nodes are opposite one another.Does that speak to a semi-karmic relationship or otherwise indicate we have come together for a purpose?
I do apologize for the length of my post,and appreciate any 'readers' as well as replies.I think my biggest question here would be when this will end between us,as I am forever on the brink and when I will find a longterm relationship.I honestly can't see myself contending with the circumstance involved in this on for much longer.Again I'd divulge the whys via p.m
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