Hello Harmellia,
thank you so much for your in-depth analysis... I appreciate it very much!
And yes, it does resonate a lot with me!
If there was ever a career that I naturally was drawn to, it was acting. it just comes naturally to me. It is just me, feeling what other people feel, expressing it, trying out different roles. I often feel like I am many. Like I have not one personality. I can be whoever you want me to be.
I have even started a thread on this forum in the past, asking if acting would be a suitable career for me. (
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=91991)
I didn't pursue it because I was insecure and my surrounding wasn't that much supporting a creative career. So I've decided to do something that is kind of close to act and play, emotions, but more solid. Namely, Psychology, working with kids. Here I can live out my need to care, especially for children, and to be playful. But often I feel like I am too sensitive for this kind of job in the long haul. I am emotionally not very stable myself, so I am not sure if I can be a solid rock for others...I mean, I am water, full of water... my moods swing with the ebbs and tides constantly. I can't grasp myself... I honestly can't see myself doing an ordinary job all my life... being a psychologist, I feel like playing a role again.
The wish for acting/drama still, in my almost 28th year of life, doesn't give me peace. I regret it a lot that I didn't try to apply to Drama schools a few years ago. Now I think it might be too late and too complicated...
I know that I am most alive and happy when I am on stage, performing, moving other people, expressing emotions through mimic and words...
Anyway, thank you so much! Your insight reminded me again to think about what my truest wishes are...