My soul is so lost

Since 2012 my life have been turn total upside down. A whistleblower case broke out in 2011, lead to my brief public appearance in 2012, which lead to job lot, marriage almost collapsed, lost (still losing) my material possessions, and financial ruin. This year 2016 I lost my dog (that's my baby, and I blamed myself/my husband/and the whole world for that), been in court multiple times (due to no money - to make long story short). In terms of career, I seems to met Cons and Liars, have meet two so called business partners and open a new company in 2014, since that it was more than miserable, one claimed to be a prominent ex-banker and the other just plain crazy. Long story short, they drained all my money and energy, the ex-banker is a con artist, never pay for anything and left the bill for us (me) to pay, use all my resources, and go around and stole the deals we brought in. The other crazy one is just a 61 years old man with a mind of a 12 years old boy, aggressive and loud mouth, also very dishonest, which lead to me needing to fight off unnecessary legal matters. And then everyone I met trying to do deals with in business are liars middle to old age men, or obnoxious women. My very Piscean husband finally gotten a job, but he still have addiction problems, alcohol and gaming used up his earnings. I think it is because of the transit Neptune in Pisces is squaring my natal Neptune, maybe?

It is a few days to 2017. I feel so angry to the point of rage during this Christmas. I just feel that the world has been in sh*t, I am trap trying to survive in this unjust world surrounded by liars and obnoxious self-centered psychopathic people. A world that value money more than humanity, and people are willingly enslaved by the (in)justice system!! I don't know what to do next. Career wise, what can I do next?! How can I ground myself and just go back to normal I supposed, so I can survive and at least pay the freaking bills without going mental!!?

I am including my relocating transit chart, I found it more accurate when looking at transit.

Any help appreciated!! Thank you very much in advance!!

Well, your money, job, and partnerships, to some extent, are externalities. Your soul is the eternal inner part of you that cannot be damaged by external events.

With such a loaded natal seventh house, it seems only natural for you to orient yourself around a partner or partnerships Unfortunately, with moon-Mars-Pluto in the mix you seem to be dominated by angry (Mars) feelings (moon) a lot of the time. When this happens the traditional house of partnerships and marriage literally becomes one of the 7th house's other meanings: the house of open enemies. These are the enemies you know about, vs. secretive back-stabbers.

So I think there is a bit of a problem in focusing more on other people, than is good for you. With your sun (identity) squared by Neptune, it can be hard for you to develop a consistent self-image and so it is easy to look to another person to feel more complete.

And this isn't bad or wrong, but it has gotten you to the point you are at today.

Your move to Canada shifted all those 7th house planets into your first house of body and personality-- placing a sudden emphasis on you as your own unique individual that your natal chart is having difficulty supporting. I suspect that inside your own mind now, you feel more angry at yourself than anyone else.

This move has also put Uranus into your second house of money. Uranus in this house can mean sudden gains, but also sudden losses.

Right now, anything you can do to calm your mind in a healthy way should be beneficial: yoga, meditation, tai chi-- it is hard to think clearly when you have so much going on.

Is it essential that you stay in Ontario now? If you play around with your relocation chart, you may find another part of Canada that doesn't put your Libra planets in such stressful locations. At Astrodienst where you constructed your charts on their free charts pages, look also at a part of the menu called "special charts" and you should pull up options for a variety of maps that show planetary lines. If you know the core meanings of the planets, see if you can fine locations that seem more favourable to you.

Not everyone can move, so it you cannot, I hope you can just take a short time out to calm your nerves. Then see what you can do by way of work and money either on your own or, preferably, working for a larger organization, rather than seeking business partners.

I'll offer an alternative reading but feel free to ignore if the methods don't suit as it will likely be one sign over to a normal interpretation.

With regards to your soul being lost, the soul is represented by the sun. I interpret your sun to be in Capricorn and in your relationships (it is only this way in whole sign). Your Sun is also squared by Jupiter which could be a reason for your expanded soul-affliction.

I think you have worked hard in your previous jobs and led due to Saturn in Leo, and if you want a new career it is perhaps Uranus in Sagittarius that is offering a way into more religious and ethical institutions.

That said, the MC in Capricorn along with the sun in Cap will make you want an ambitious public appearance which is an obstacle to the ethical duties as it squares the Uranus Sagittarius.

The potential solution to any square obstacles is to prioritise a time for both. So, maybe now is a time to investigate ethical institutions and foreign travel, and maybe there is also a time to work hard in self expression and social status and money.

If you don't have time for both then you need to schedule one for one day and another for another. And even if you must, 1 hour for the soul, 1 hour to pay the bills.

Thanks waybread. Yes you are correct, I'm more angry at myself than anyone else. And I don't fit into corporate job, which I had for years before and understand I just won't fit in. I feel that it is just my bad fate, everything feels so fated.

Taurus9, my sun is in Virgo with tropical, Capricorn is 4 signs up. Were you based on the transits planets? It's funny you mention Capricorn, I found most of my friends (including my best friend) and enemies (both business partners) are Capricorn Sun! I started to wonder if there is anything in my chart that attract these people, is there something I am supposed to learn from this energy?!

Hi,

Can you put up your true natal chart (not the relocated one) with transits and progressions, please? If you like, I can take a look.

brightceci said:

Thanks waybread. Yes you are correct, I'm more angry at myself than anyone else. And I don't fit into corporate job, which I had for years before and understand I just won't fit in. I feel that it is just my bad fate, everything feels so fated.

Click to expand...

Not all large employers are corporate. You may have skills that would transfer to a government agency, university (academic support services,) or non-profit society (administration.) Have you thought of talking to a "head hunter"?

Things are never fated to be bad for you. It is understandable that we feel this way during the hard times, but we always control our own attitudes.

aquarius7000 said:

Hi,

Can you put up your true natal chart (not the relocated one) with transits and progressions, please? If you like, I can take a look.

Click to expand...

The first attachment is my natal chart. Thanks!!

Look inside. Life IS Hard with people that you just can't read and people that make you see the greener side of life.. until of course, they play you.The thing is, you do VERY WELL with people. You charm and you show an inoccent love and that's priceless. You just get pursuaded very easily and people have you thinking that OF COURSE the grass is greener on the other side. Don't grip so hard to others desires and opinions. You honestly do know what you want. Dont think your selfish or irresponsible. You have a beautiful mind of beauty and I'm jealous! Take time to serve others without getting run over. Taking time to yourself and creating your own hobbies and likes will help this
You sound great
Love you

waybread said:

Not all large employers are corporate. You may have skills that would transfer to a government agency, university (academic support services,) or non-profit society (administration.) Have you thought of talking to a "head hunter"?

Things are never fated to be bad for you. It is understandable that we feel this way during the hard times, but we always control our own attitudes.

Click to expand...

Whistleblowing was to the government. It's on newspaper and internet too. You will surprised how many people do their research online when hiring, and how people react. One of the retired polician is helping me look for work. I don't know if I feel it a lot more than others, but my ego just doesn't want to give in to lower pay and lower rank jobs, knowing that I will have problem with authority. You know, my ego keeps reminding me that I didn't get my master degree to work as a secretary, data entry, or standing in the tilt of Walmart, on top of it getting sh*t from bosses at those type of jobs. It s.u-c-k-s. On the other hand, I know this is 'taught' arrogant, knowing thst...so-what I got a little higher education?! After all I studied so much junk, paid for money that could have been spend somewhere more valuable,but I have a 'bragging' rights, deserves to pay better and do more 'important' jobs, while in the core of me I know the nice lady who happily work at the tilt in Walmart earning a minimum wage are better person than me.

brightceci said:

Taurus9, my sun is in Virgo with tropical, Capricorn is 4 signs up. Were you based on the transits planets? It's funny you mention Capricorn, I found most of my friends (including my best friend) and enemies (both business partners) are Capricorn Sun! I started to wonder if there is anything in my chart that attract these people, is there something I am supposed to learn from this energy?!

Click to expand...

Sorry, I read the symbols too quickly and got them mixed up. I just saw an earth sign that wasn't Taurus and forgot to double check as it is a weak spot. Only 2nd time reading a chart with symbols so my mistake. I have had similar experience to you regarding Cap suns though so maybe it was meant to be a mistake.

brightceci said:

The first attachment is my natal chart. Thanks!!

Click to expand...

Thanks, I saw that already. My request was to put up a chart with your transits and progressions to your natal chart.

aquarius7000 said:

Thanks, I saw that already. My request was to put up a chart with your transits and progressions to your natal chart.

Click to expand...

Oh ok, just attached, one is the chart, and one is a pdf which I have no idea how to read them at all! Thanks

brightceci said:

Whistleblowing was to the government. It's on newspaper and internet too. You will surprised how many people do their research online when hiring, and how people react. One of the retired polician is helping me look for work. I don't know if I feel it a lot more than others, but my ego just doesn't want to give in to lower pay and lower rank jobs, knowing that I will have problem with authority. You know, my ego keeps reminding me that I didn't get my master degree to work as a secretary, data entry, or standing in the tilt of Walmart, on top of it getting sh*t from bosses at those type of jobs. It s.u-c-k-s. On the other hand, I know this is 'taught' arrogant, knowing thst...so-what I got a little higher education?! After all I studied so much junk, paid for money that could have been spend somewhere more valuable,but I have a 'bragging' rights, deserves to pay better and do more 'important' jobs, while in the core of me I know the nice lady who happily work at the tilt in Walmart earning a minimum wage are better person than me.

Click to expand...

brightceci, I don't think, logically, that your choice is between an unobtainable job, a job with the Boss from Hell, or stocking shelves at Walmart. It is understandable that you feel distraught and even angry at this time. But those feelings are not working in your favour. The cashier at Walmart is not somehow a "better person than you." In my belief system, we are all equal on the basis of our essential human dignity-- not because of our job satisfaction or job title.

So one government job didn't work out for you, and that means no government job of any description would ever be suitable for you? This isn't rational. Have you ever had a supervisor you liked and respected?

You don't have to lower your standards. I merely suggest that you think laterally and creatively. And take some time every day to calm yourself: something like meditation, listening to your favourite soothing music, engaging in a favourate hobby, being around people you like and who support you emotionally. None of us can think straight when we have such a tangle of upset feelings. But it is up to you--only-- to untangle them.

Above all, please don't be so hard on yourself. Most people go through truly difficult times of life, as you are; and many people become unemployed through no fault of their own. You're in good company.

A good mantra or daily saying for you would be: "This too shall pass. I am stronger than I know."

With all good wishes, W.

p. s. Speaking of Walmart-- I suspect they have middle-management positions.....