Depressed/Lost/Help Please

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Missgee25

Member
Hello everyone, I suffer from extremely low self-esteem and mental love delusions, I live in a fantasy land half the time cos reality just ***** most of the time, I mean I have a loving partner, a good family, not really many friends, but I just feel no one really ever notices me or cares to get to know me and if I am noticed, its not really positive as I have been told i am naturally annoying and can rub ppl the wrong way, I have been studying astrology for a few years now to get to know myself better, but the more I get to know my chart the more I feel like the most boring person ever, my chart is not interesting at all, my partner and friend have great charts, both with Venus on MC, my friend has Pluto, Neptune, Mars and Jupiter aspecting hers, she is super loved and everyone obsesses over her, my partner is the same with the love, I try not to compare, but I feel like a shell of a human much of my life, and dont particularly want to exist most of the time, I want to just fade away, I was hoping someone else can offer my some insight to myself, ill post my placidus, equal and whole sign charts as I use them the most, any guidance when it comes to career/talents and life purpose would be great, im sick of this dying lost feeling i always have had since I was a child, its eating me alive.

Thank you

https://imgur.com/a/BtzB6Sq
 
Last edited:
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Zora

Account Closed
Missgee25 said:
I was hoping someone else can offer my some insight to myself, ill post my placidus, equal and whole sign charts as I use them the most, any guidance when it comes to career/talents and life purpose would be great, im sick of this dying lost feeling i always have had since I was a child, its eating me alive.
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Pls post the placidus house system chart you have anounced - and pls. without all this overloading asteroid stuff.
 
K

katydid

Well-known member
After reading your post I was expecting to see a real mess of a chart. But your chart is lovely. You have some very beneficial ands positive placements.:love:

So where do your feelings of emptiness and being just a ‘shell’ come from? :unsure:

With Pisces rising, you have Neptune as your chart ruler. Neptune is in Capricorn , tightly conjunct Uranus in the 11th of friends and community. Maybe that is one reason why you are somewhat focused upon friends and popularity. :wink:

Your Neptune is at the midpoint of Mercury/Mars. The Mercury/Mars midpoint symbolises ‘passionate communication’ and the ability to be assertive, and animated, when trying to make a point.

Having Neptune at the midpoint might help you express your ideals and personal beliefs and feelings. But you might tend to confuse others by arguing in a vague or roundabout way, that may even come across as passive-aggressive at times. :whistling:

You may be very good at picking up on fine nuances in literature, films, poetry, etc. You have a very strong imagination and a creative mind, but you may become confused if overloaded with too much information at once. You are much smarter than some may think because you might seem different than you really are, when you get lost in your Neptunian energy.


You have Jupiter, the co-ruler of your chart, in Libra in the 7th house of relationships. Jupiter in the 7th makes for a nice, happy marriage situation. So that is beneficial.

But notice the broken green line from Jupiter to the Sun in Taurus——that is a quincunx aspect. It is a broken line because it represents a disconnection of some kind. Planets in quincunx are not in an easy working relationship. :bandit:

Often, people with quincunxes tend to compartmentalize the two areas of life indicated by the planets and points involved.

So for example, you may have to adjust or sacrifice your own needs, for the sake of the marriage, but then you may feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled personally.

Having the 2nd House Sun [self] quincunx the 7th House Jupiter [ husband and family] suggests an individual who seems to constantly have to make concessions and adjustments to please everyone else.

Sometimes passive/aggressiveness becomes a problem because one feels taken advantage of and undervalued by others. But it is an internal issue. It is not something others are ‘doing’ to you.

I think that sometimes you make things harder for yourself because of your insecurities. What can we do to help you overcome these false feelings of inferiority? :ninja:
 
M

Missgee25

Member
katydid said:
After reading your post I was expecting to see a real mess of a chart. But your chart is lovely. You have some very beneficial ands positive placements.:love:

So where do your feelings of emptiness and being just a ‘shell’ come from? :unsure:

With Pisces rising, you have Neptune as your chart ruler. Neptune is in Capricorn , tightly conjunct Uranus in the 11th of friends and community. Maybe that is one reason why you are somewhat focused upon friends and popularity. :wink:

Your Neptune is at the midpoint of Mercury/Mars. The Mercury/Mars midpoint symbolises ‘passionate communication’ and the ability to be assertive, and animated, when trying to make a point.

Having Neptune at the midpoint might help you express your ideals and personal beliefs and feelings. But you might tend to confuse others by arguing in a vague or roundabout way, that may even come across as passive-aggressive at times. :whistling:

You may be very good at picking up on fine nuances in literature, films, poetry, etc. You have a very strong imagination and a creative mind, but you may become confused if overloaded with too much information at once. You are much smarter than some may think because you might seem different than you really are, when you get lost in your Neptunian energy.


You have Jupiter, the co-ruler of your chart, in Libra in the 7th house of relationships. Jupiter in the 7th makes for a nice, happy marriage situation. So that is beneficial.

But notice the broken green line from Jupiter to the Sun in Taurus——that is a quincunx aspect. It is a broken line because it represents a disconnection of some kind. Planets in quincunx are not in an easy working relationship. :bandit:

Often, people with quincunxes tend to compartmentalize the two areas of life indicated by the planets and points involved.

So for example, you may have to adjust or sacrifice your own needs, for the sake of the marriage, but then you may feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled personally.

Having the 2nd House Sun [self] quincunx the 7th House Jupiter [ husband and family] suggests an individual who seems to constantly have to make concessions and adjustments to please everyone else.

Sometimes passive/aggressiveness becomes a problem because one feels taken advantage of and undervalued by others. But it is an internal issue. It is not something others are ‘doing’ to you.

I think that sometimes you make things harder for yourself because of your insecurities. What can we do to help you overcome these false feelings of inferiority? :ninja:
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Hello! Im writing back after while, I just re-read what you wrote after a while to see if it will help me see in a different light and it does, thank you for your reply back! You made me feel nice about myself and I can now see how my insecurities of caring so much what other people think (I've always been insecure especially by the way I communicate, like am I funny enough, smart enough, I was a kid that was frequently made feel like my words did not matter.. possibly my Moon square Ascendant? I do struggle to express myself, cos im shy lol

I've come to realise that my t-square aspect is sort of now growing a lot smoother as an adult now,I am becoming more comfortable towards my North Node in Saggitarius, my Pisces Ascendant is a hard grip tho, and I believe my Lilith in Pisces in the 1st house is the biggest struggle, im a very Lilith Person, Black Moon Pisces sextiles my chart ruler Neptune and Uranus Conjuction, trines my Pluto and squares my Sag MC and opposes my Virgo Vertex that squares my MC (this is **** cos I constantly feel like people are weirder out by be, or dont like me, and find me extremely off putting....and I do feel invisible at times, I get confused with how other ppl feel towards me and I romantisize a lot too, ppl, situations, if they are attracted to me sexually) all 3 Lilith's make aspect to my chart, Aries True Lilith conjucts my Venus, Waldemath Libra Lilith trines my Moon exact.

Do you know much about Lilith? If so, can you offer any insight on how I can get through these psychological blockages?
 
Harmelia

Harmelia

Well-known member
Missgee25 said:
Hello everyone, I suffer from extremely low self-esteem and mental love delusions, I live in a fantasy land half the time cos reality just ***** most of the time, I mean I have a loving partner, a good family, not really many friends, but I just feel no one really ever notices me or cares to get to know me and if I am noticed, its not really positive as I have been told i am naturally annoying and can rub ppl the wrong way, I have been studying astrology for a few years now to get to know myself better, but the more I get to know my chart the more I feel like the most boring person ever, my chart is not interesting at all, my partner and friend have great charts, both with Venus on MC, my friend has Pluto, Neptune, Mars and Jupiter aspecting hers, she is super loved and everyone obsesses over her, my partner is the same with the love, I try not to compare, but I feel like a shell of a human much of my life, and dont particularly want to exist most of the time, I want to just fade away, I was hoping someone else can offer my some insight to myself, ill post my placidus, equal and whole sign charts as I use them the most, any guidance when it comes to career/talents and life purpose would be great, im sick of this dying lost feeling i always have had since I was a child, its eating me alive.

Thank you

https://imgur.com/a/BtzB6Sq
Click to expand...


Pisces rising can give a person that "lost" feeling. I hear that from many people with a strongly placed Pisces. But, it is something you can work on. All the signs and planets have negative and positive qualities and we can turn the negative into positive qualities. Let me explore the challenges and then how you might approach them.

You Gemini IC can make you a thinker - and possible go in circles with certain thoughts about yourself. Your South Node is conjunct Moon in Gemini in the 3rd. That tells me that you probably think way too much about yourself - stuck in the details or focused on details that might not be all that important. Gemini can get stuck on certain thought patterns. We can change our thought patterns though. It just takes becoming more aware of them and not seeing them as US. Our thoughts are not us. They are just thoughts. Meditation is a good way to start separating yourself out from what you think.

Your North Node in Sag in the 9th is more about the bigger picture - having goals, learning and growing, expanding yourself. Your Jupiter is ruler of your rising sign, ruler of the chart and ruler of the north node and it is in the 7th house, Libra - house of relationships. So, you are to expand yourself in relationships - and learn from the energy exchanges you have. Libra gains self-knowledge through relating. Jupiter expands every sign and house. It encourages you. The problem is your 7th house cusp is Virgo and Mercury rules Virgo and is in the 1st house of Aries. Venus is there too. That makes you more independent and is in contrast to your Jupiter. It's a bit of a conflict that you need to work out. The trick is to learn how to be more independent within relationships - which means you don't compare yourself and you don't go into them feeling you need something out of them. Aries is extremely independent and you need that.

Your Sun in Taurus in the 2nd is about developing a secure self-concept, self-value, self-image. You are focused on doing that - you are learning to do that. That means challenging negative thoughts you have about yourself, watching the self-talk, and practicing positive self-talk. This is a life-purpose - the direction you need to grow - and will bring much meaning to your life if you do this.

As far as a career, Pisces rising does give a person a lot of creativity. You have the ability to play different roles as needed. You truly ought to be able to work with people - playing different roles with them - being the kind of person that they need you to be at that moment. It is a talent or gift of Pisces rising. You probably have a natural empathy. If you use that positively, you could be very helpful to other people in a job where you are dealing with them. With Mars in Cancer in the 5th, I think you might easily cultivate a feeling connection with others.

I think you underestimate your ability to relate well. Virgo can do that - the sign on your 7th house. Negative Virgo makes us doubt oursevles, criticize ourselves, worry about ourselves, and it can make one depressed. Don't let it stop you from moving forward. Virgo self-doubt can instead spur you to do better, to perfect your relational skills. You have the skills - good analytical ability to understand - and you can be very very very helpful.

Your Pisces rising and Virgo descendant are not flamboyant signs. Instead, you are more of a quiet hero - someone who can truly help others, but without a lot of recognition like more flamboyant types. Virgo types don't always get the recognition. It's okay - really. Down deep, you may not want it anyway. Virgo's don't like being in the limelight. YOU have to recognized that you truly are appreciated - and learn to receive praise when given. When people thank you, you need to take it in and believe it's real. The thing is, you don't need to stand out as something very special to have success with people. I think your Pluto in Scorpio 8th square Saturn in Aquarius, 12th says you need to let go of your attachment to being special in a certain way. You want to stand out as unusual or exceptional. Well, you may be exceptional and even very smart, but it is likely that you'll stand out, but in a Virgo humble sort of way. We Virgo people have to accept that. You are a Virgo person with that sign on your cross - your desc.

You could have a career as a teacher, writer, the arts, tech person, HR person, financial industry, law, or something in the travel industry. Are you interested in any of these areas at all?
 
K

Katarzena

Well-known member
Missgee25 said:
Hello everyone, I suffer from extremely low self-esteem and mental love delusions, I live in a fantasy land half the time cos reality just ***** most of the time, I mean I have a loving partner, a good family, not really many friends, but I just feel no one really ever notices me or cares to get to know me and if I am noticed, its not really positive as I have been told i am naturally annoying and can rub ppl the wrong way, I have been studying astrology for a few years now to get to know myself better, but the more I get to know my chart the more I feel like the most boring person ever, my chart is not interesting at all, my partner and friend have great charts, both with Venus on MC, my friend has Pluto, Neptune, Mars and Jupiter aspecting hers, she is super loved and everyone obsesses over her, my partner is the same with the love, I try not to compare, but I feel like a shell of a human much of my life, and dont particularly want to exist most of the time, I want to just fade away, I was hoping someone else can offer my some insight to myself, ill post my placidus, equal and whole sign charts as I use them the most, any guidance when it comes to career/talents and life purpose would be great, im sick of this dying lost feeling i always have had since I was a child, its eating me alive.

Thank you

https://imgur.com/a/BtzB6Sq
Click to expand...

Interesting thread! What I see is that Aries and Libra are intercepted. So self assertion and dealing with others has not been developed in childhood. We develop intercepted qualities later in life.
 
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