please tell me when will I die ?
- Thread starter Mola
- Start date
Peregrine_Moon
Well-known member
I wrote about death in a chart yesterday, and so, if you don't mind too much, I'm going to repeat what I said then, here.
The great American astrologer Noel Tyl says that he doesn't know of any "death" measurement in astrology. There's nothing in someone's chart that says, unequivocally, that they will die at a particular time or on a particular day. I haven't found anyone reputable who disagrees with him.
Remember that a horoscope is not fate. It's a map of influences and inclinations that one will face in life. There is no way to predict with certainty how anyone will respond to a given set of circumstances. Some people seem to go through a transit with no difficulty, feeling no particular change or disturbance, yet others find the same transit very trying. Someone may completely change their life in response to a transit or a contact, while another person may feel the pressure to change but instead pour their entire will and concentration into resisting that pressure. We can't say why people respond differently, but free will is very important to all of us.
In my view, a chart doesn't reveal the date of one's death because there is no such thing as death in astrology. We don't come to an end, we just transform and continue in changed states. Our horoscopes also don't evaporate. The chart continues, infinitely. We can look at the charts of famous people who have died and find transits and progressions that point to times when they may become popular for some reason.
You must be going through some very difficult times to feel, at your age, that you've had enough with your life. I know how that can be. I've been through troubles of my own. But what I want to say to you is that I'm about twice your age and, hard as some times in my 20s were, I'm very glad that I continued to live and that I'm alive now.
Don't give in to feeling lost or despairing. Get some help. Astrology may be a tool that can help you gain some perspective, but it's not the only thing. Talk to someone. A doctor, a friend, a family member, a religious leader--someone who will sit and listen to you. You don't want to die. You want to feel hope and encouragement so that you can get through this rough time and see better times come to you.
The great American astrologer Noel Tyl says that he doesn't know of any "death" measurement in astrology. There's nothing in someone's chart that says, unequivocally, that they will die at a particular time or on a particular day. I haven't found anyone reputable who disagrees with him.
Remember that a horoscope is not fate. It's a map of influences and inclinations that one will face in life. There is no way to predict with certainty how anyone will respond to a given set of circumstances. Some people seem to go through a transit with no difficulty, feeling no particular change or disturbance, yet others find the same transit very trying. Someone may completely change their life in response to a transit or a contact, while another person may feel the pressure to change but instead pour their entire will and concentration into resisting that pressure. We can't say why people respond differently, but free will is very important to all of us.
In my view, a chart doesn't reveal the date of one's death because there is no such thing as death in astrology. We don't come to an end, we just transform and continue in changed states. Our horoscopes also don't evaporate. The chart continues, infinitely. We can look at the charts of famous people who have died and find transits and progressions that point to times when they may become popular for some reason.
You must be going through some very difficult times to feel, at your age, that you've had enough with your life. I know how that can be. I've been through troubles of my own. But what I want to say to you is that I'm about twice your age and, hard as some times in my 20s were, I'm very glad that I continued to live and that I'm alive now.
Don't give in to feeling lost or despairing. Get some help. Astrology may be a tool that can help you gain some perspective, but it's not the only thing. Talk to someone. A doctor, a friend, a family member, a religious leader--someone who will sit and listen to you. You don't want to die. You want to feel hope and encouragement so that you can get through this rough time and see better times come to you.
The_Saturnian
Well-known member
Death is usually not something a lot of palmists/astrologers like to talk about when doing predicitive work, obviously because it's such a sensitive topic to talk about. Whilst it is inevitable, it's not something most people would want to know. I'm just a little curious as to why you wish to know how and when your death will occur. If there is a specific reason you wish to know or if there's a story related to this wave-length of thinking I'd be happy to listen and try and help you some way or the other.
thank you guys
I feel like that i'm the first one of people who are just born to lose
I'm falling again and again and success seems impossible to me .I used to working hard and keep thinking positive but recently I fed up ..
I really don't know how can i get over of this feeling so I ask you to tell me if there is a hope looming in the horizon
I feel like that i'm the first one of people who are just born to lose
I'm falling again and again and success seems impossible to me .I used to working hard and keep thinking positive but recently I fed up ..
I really don't know how can i get over of this feeling so I ask you to tell me if there is a hope looming in the horizon
Bina
Well-known member
Hi Mola,
what makes you feel like that? You have a nice chart!!
A very fiery chart - so much fire and some air. Sun and Moon in Leo, sun trine NN and a grand trine in the fire signs!- all very strong placements!
Could be Saturn on your Des is holding you back, is there a problem with marriage/relationships?
Let us know a bit more what's happening with you, so pepole here can help you..
Bina
what makes you feel like that? You have a nice chart!!
A very fiery chart - so much fire and some air. Sun and Moon in Leo, sun trine NN and a grand trine in the fire signs!- all very strong placements!
Could be Saturn on your Des is holding you back, is there a problem with marriage/relationships?
Let us know a bit more what's happening with you, so pepole here can help you..
Bina
Bina
Well-known member
that could happen very suddenly with your chart, you have Uranus in 7th house trine Jupiter in the 11th, grand trine with Moon conjunct Ic, making a kite with Chiron in your first house.
Looks hopeful to me, when you do meet someone, it may be very healing for you.
Also you are quite independent in your nature.. so you 'll need a lot of freedom within a relationship.
Looks hopeful to me, when you do meet someone, it may be very healing for you.
Also you are quite independent in your nature.. so you 'll need a lot of freedom within a relationship.
beginner
Well-known member
that is probably because of retro saturn in 7th, but what I have read is that saturn bring delay and saturn never DENY 
I am sure u will get love in ur life, it may be later but It should be stable
I am sure u will get love in ur life, it may be later but It should be stable
saturn opposition jupiter started on january 11 2012
saturn transiting from 5th (obstructs creativity, makes you work hard for romance) to the 11th
jupiter is also effecting the 3rd house stellium, and the 5th is effecting finances/self worth
this transit will end on september 26 and you'll have less blockages.
in july 2011 you entered a venus/south node dasha which might of brought back some negativity from the past. it is one of the more negative venus dashas.
on september 1st you'll enter your Sun dasha
and your Leo moon and Sun will appreciate that. you will get more attention.
also on september 17 you'll enter a jupiter/venus firdaria, so you will be concerned with different aesthetics
okay back to transits
on febuary 14 2012 more was added on to your plate, with a jupiter square sun that is also more minorly effecting your directionality with partnerships. this is an aspect that modulates the ego to concern themselves with too many goals while already having blockages.
added on to that on march 1st this only increased in intensity with a jupiter opposition pluto in to the 6th house, this is where your health and daily routine got majorly effected by not being able to accomplish certain things. having more control over people, having your way, etc.
then on april 2 2012 jupiter was added on square mars in the 3rd kind of sealing the deal with 3rd house matters that led to added freustration, anger and inflation.
also on april 3 another significant thing happened, saturn from the 5th again (romance, creativity) squared venus in the 2nd and is still continueing to do so, which is a pretty big obstacle to go over on your relationships.
then friends started being more deceptive on april 18, and you might of turned a bit more religious.
then on june 1 to top the cake, jupiter squared midheaven from the 12th which is associated with mercury in the 2nd (finances/self worth)
which might of manifested itself in a wrong direction of career or just not being able to acheive it
okay so now the universe is going to help you out.
its giving you a jupiter conjunt ascendant on august 3 2012, which will bring in a midly significant change of pace associated with the 2nd.
this is when you start feeling a change.
then pluto sextiles pluto, you get more positive intensity
then jupiter sextiles mars by the end of august so you feel more physically in form.
the relationship atmopshere will be half way there by september 10
and you'll be at second phase of the obstacle by september 4.
now in november 11 youll be faced with more romance challenge and hard work challenge so it is important to conserve energy around november 11 as this will be another low point
it'll dip at the beginning, but you'll also get a saturn sextile neptune and saturn will switch in to your 6th house instead of your 5th (romance and creativity) so you'll become more creatively able around late november.
you'll have less career blockages by october.
you will be rewarded for your trials and hard work eventually. possibly after the saturn square sun in november. will mark the beginning of a change.
so by around febuary you will become happier in general.
this is after you enter in to Sun - Moon dasha and one ups your mercury, venus, sun, mars, moon around december 20
overall for now you need to reformulate your plans, continue to study metaphysical things, learn, contemplate, take it easy. you are probably not as burdened as you feel.
saturn transiting from 5th (obstructs creativity, makes you work hard for romance) to the 11th
jupiter is also effecting the 3rd house stellium, and the 5th is effecting finances/self worth
this transit will end on september 26 and you'll have less blockages.
in july 2011 you entered a venus/south node dasha which might of brought back some negativity from the past. it is one of the more negative venus dashas.
on september 1st you'll enter your Sun dasha
and your Leo moon and Sun will appreciate that. you will get more attention.
also on september 17 you'll enter a jupiter/venus firdaria, so you will be concerned with different aesthetics
okay back to transits
on febuary 14 2012 more was added on to your plate, with a jupiter square sun that is also more minorly effecting your directionality with partnerships. this is an aspect that modulates the ego to concern themselves with too many goals while already having blockages.
added on to that on march 1st this only increased in intensity with a jupiter opposition pluto in to the 6th house, this is where your health and daily routine got majorly effected by not being able to accomplish certain things. having more control over people, having your way, etc.
then on april 2 2012 jupiter was added on square mars in the 3rd kind of sealing the deal with 3rd house matters that led to added freustration, anger and inflation.
also on april 3 another significant thing happened, saturn from the 5th again (romance, creativity) squared venus in the 2nd and is still continueing to do so, which is a pretty big obstacle to go over on your relationships.
then friends started being more deceptive on april 18, and you might of turned a bit more religious.
then on june 1 to top the cake, jupiter squared midheaven from the 12th which is associated with mercury in the 2nd (finances/self worth)
which might of manifested itself in a wrong direction of career or just not being able to acheive it
okay so now the universe is going to help you out.
its giving you a jupiter conjunt ascendant on august 3 2012, which will bring in a midly significant change of pace associated with the 2nd.
this is when you start feeling a change.
then pluto sextiles pluto, you get more positive intensity
then jupiter sextiles mars by the end of august so you feel more physically in form.
the relationship atmopshere will be half way there by september 10
and you'll be at second phase of the obstacle by september 4.
now in november 11 youll be faced with more romance challenge and hard work challenge so it is important to conserve energy around november 11 as this will be another low point
it'll dip at the beginning, but you'll also get a saturn sextile neptune and saturn will switch in to your 6th house instead of your 5th (romance and creativity) so you'll become more creatively able around late november.
you'll have less career blockages by october.
you will be rewarded for your trials and hard work eventually. possibly after the saturn square sun in november. will mark the beginning of a change.
so by around febuary you will become happier in general.
this is after you enter in to Sun - Moon dasha and one ups your mercury, venus, sun, mars, moon around december 20
overall for now you need to reformulate your plans, continue to study metaphysical things, learn, contemplate, take it easy. you are probably not as burdened as you feel.
JUPITERASC
Well-known member
fwiw IMO considerations regarding length of life are the norm for many Vedic astrologers - particularly in relation to advising whether a couple's charts are compatible for marriage. The idea being to ascertain whether or not there are indications of one of the partners potentially outliving the other partner by a decade or more. This is considered a practical exercise since it is recommended to match couples according to similar length of life potential. Western culture tends to shy away from the subject.
As well as that, Vedic astrology when delineated by experienced experts is famed for its excellent predictive ability. Western astrology offers more 'psychological' delineation
http://www.indianastrologyhoroscope.com/Venus_Ketudasha.html
then you'll enter this period later on in the year.
http://www.indianastrologyhoroscope.com/Sun_Mahadasha.html
then you'll enter this period later on in the year.
http://www.indianastrologyhoroscope.com/Sun_Mahadasha.html
Thank you all for taking time out to doing analytic my chart
yes , everyone around me doing better and achieve a lot of success except I .I'm stuck at darkness , failur makes me avoid facing people because I feel shame of myself
yes , everyone around me doing better and achieve a lot of success except I .I'm stuck at darkness , failur makes me avoid facing people because I feel shame of myself
I think i'm not very good at counselling
waybread
Well-known member
moia, is your birth time accurate or is it an estimate? (Sometimes nice round numbers can be off by half an hour and it matters in how to interpret the chart.)
Also, if you are truly suicidal, please seek professional help right away. Many countries have suicide prevention hot-lines, or ask your doctor for a referal to a psychiatrist. Your life is well worth living.
There are three major dynamics going on your chart, so far as I can tell. One is called a Thor's Hammer, in which your Venus (love, affection, femininity) are involved in a stressful relationship with Saturn (a difficult planet for many people) and Jupiter. This formation oftentimes is very difficult for children and their parents, because the kids tend to do a lot of acting-out. You may feel you are ready to explode under pressure, or at least did when you were a little child.
But you have another, seemingly contradictory modality, called a grand trine. You will see blue lines making a triange in your chart. While trines normally create ease in the person's life, a suite of them can actually make it difficult for the person to get moving and make something of her life. Possibly your material circumstances are good enough to support you in life, whether you get extra job skills, or not.
Finally you have a formation called a T-square (red triange) involving your sun, Jupiter, and Pluto. Two planets form 90-degree angles to one another (square) and are joined by a 180-degree opposition. These are usually stressful. People with sun square Pluto seem to go through life with a "dominate or be dominated" mentality. Often they learned as children not to trust anyone.
If we combine these, I would say you feel a lot of pressure to get out and do things in the world, but nevertheless you tend not to go ahead and make the actual effort to change things.
Am I wrong, or is control very, very important to you? Would you describe yourself as a "go with the flow", relaxed person, or do you really need to have your own way in life? With your sun and moon in Leo, is recognition and praise from other people really important to you, or could you accept being happy as a "nobody" sort of person?
I think the secret to your happiness is not expecting other people or external circumstances to make you happy. You must learn to create your own happiness, independently of whatever is going on in your life.
Your north node (of the moon) in your 11th house of friends suggests that being a good friend is where your growth lies. The 11th house also symbolizes your hopes and wishes for the future. Start mapping these out, and then look for small constructive ways to move forward towards them.
Never forget that Leos are royalty.
In terms of career and assuming your birth time is accurate, you might think about IT, public relations, or communications.
Also, if you are truly suicidal, please seek professional help right away. Many countries have suicide prevention hot-lines, or ask your doctor for a referal to a psychiatrist. Your life is well worth living.
There are three major dynamics going on your chart, so far as I can tell. One is called a Thor's Hammer, in which your Venus (love, affection, femininity) are involved in a stressful relationship with Saturn (a difficult planet for many people) and Jupiter. This formation oftentimes is very difficult for children and their parents, because the kids tend to do a lot of acting-out. You may feel you are ready to explode under pressure, or at least did when you were a little child.
But you have another, seemingly contradictory modality, called a grand trine. You will see blue lines making a triange in your chart. While trines normally create ease in the person's life, a suite of them can actually make it difficult for the person to get moving and make something of her life. Possibly your material circumstances are good enough to support you in life, whether you get extra job skills, or not.
Finally you have a formation called a T-square (red triange) involving your sun, Jupiter, and Pluto. Two planets form 90-degree angles to one another (square) and are joined by a 180-degree opposition. These are usually stressful. People with sun square Pluto seem to go through life with a "dominate or be dominated" mentality. Often they learned as children not to trust anyone.
If we combine these, I would say you feel a lot of pressure to get out and do things in the world, but nevertheless you tend not to go ahead and make the actual effort to change things.
Am I wrong, or is control very, very important to you? Would you describe yourself as a "go with the flow", relaxed person, or do you really need to have your own way in life? With your sun and moon in Leo, is recognition and praise from other people really important to you, or could you accept being happy as a "nobody" sort of person?
I think the secret to your happiness is not expecting other people or external circumstances to make you happy. You must learn to create your own happiness, independently of whatever is going on in your life.
Your north node (of the moon) in your 11th house of friends suggests that being a good friend is where your growth lies. The 11th house also symbolizes your hopes and wishes for the future. Start mapping these out, and then look for small constructive ways to move forward towards them.
Never forget that Leos are royalty.
In terms of career and assuming your birth time is accurate, you might think about IT, public relations, or communications.
Last edited:
Hello waybread
it was at 2:00 am but i don't know the minutes could you specified minutes please
I used to be very very optimistic but this feeling just broke my heart later because I couldn't make any change in my life .
I have taken antidepressed then i stopped after a year because i know what is the main reason of this feeling , if i could be successful i'll be better, i need to talk so much and have a consulting as i got it now, this way help much better than pills .
I failed at all interviews and this happened because ..
I couldn't speak English , yes no one will accept me because my level in English language is beginner , proficiency ENGLISH is the magic key for all jobs where i live
I've spent alot of money and time to improve my self in this skill but i still not good . I don't know why I can't achieve progress . it's too easy to learn what's wrong with me , do i have mental illness or something like that?
i'm really sooo worried of this situation ..
I want to have my own way in life and it's hard unless I become an independent and be able to support myself
it was at 2:00 am but i don't know the minutes could you specified minutes please
I used to be very very optimistic but this feeling just broke my heart later because I couldn't make any change in my life .
I have taken antidepressed then i stopped after a year because i know what is the main reason of this feeling , if i could be successful i'll be better, i need to talk so much and have a consulting as i got it now, this way help much better than pills .
I failed at all interviews and this happened because ..
I couldn't speak English , yes no one will accept me because my level in English language is beginner , proficiency ENGLISH is the magic key for all jobs where i live
I've spent alot of money and time to improve my self in this skill but i still not good . I don't know why I can't achieve progress . it's too easy to learn what's wrong with me , do i have mental illness or something like that?
i'm really sooo worried of this situation ..
I want to have my own way in life and it's hard unless I become an independent and be able to support myself
Peregrine_Moon
Well-known member
Mola, you asked me to read your chart. I'm sorry this has taken me longer than anticipated. My own work has suddenly become very demanding. However, here's an overview of what I see at the moment.
Let's start with the basics. Your Sun and Moon are both in Leo. This powerful combination indicates an extremely strong ego. You are ambitious, dramatic and domineering. Pride and vanity are very strong. You may seem, on the surface, to be glamourous; underneath is a very commanding nature. The reigning need in your life is to be deeply honoured and loved. The difficulty with this is that someone with both Sun and Moon in Leo almost never feels that they're getting enough attention, affection, respect or love from others, no matter how much they receive. People with Sun and Moon in Leo can frankly be exhausting for other people who get the message that, no matter how much they appreciate, care for and admire the Leonine person, it isn't enough. A strong Leo placement in a chart always includes an affinity for drama. To have Sun and Moon in Leo guarantees it. Indeed, you started this conversation with a very dramatic question, asking how to know when you will die because you're tired of the way your life is. That certainly grabs attention but it can backfire on you, too. If you often make dramatic statements about yourself and ask dramatic questions people may mistrust your motives after awhile.
Your rising sign is Gemini and your chart ruler is Mercury. Gemini rising is usually a chatterbox! In your case, I imagine this is highly pronounced because you have no planets in air signs. The air signs are communicators and can be intellectual and academic, too. Whenever there's an imbalance in the chart, we usually over-compensate for it in other areas. You probably like to talk, a lot, and may well have been talking from a very early age. Babies with Gemini rising often speak quite fluently before they're a year old. Communicating is so very important that nothing holds someone back when they have this rising sign. More than just talking, you probably ask many, many questions, all the time.
Mercury, your chart ruler, is opposite Neptune, indicating that you are imaginative and idealistic, but because you can imagine many possibilities you may be more prone to dreaming than taking action. This aspect indicates a difficulty in distinguishing reality from unreality. You frequently completely misunderstand what others say to you or how your own style of communication is received. Because Mercury is in the second house and Neptune is in the eighth, this difficulty in recognizing what is real from what you've imagined may be particularly pronounced when it comes to dealing with money, property, your income and others' resources.
Since you have only one planet, Neptune, in an Earth sign, you're lacking earth in your horoscope. As a result, you're probably very concerned with your physical body, how you look, how you feel, what you eat and when. You may spend quite a lot of time with personal grooming and cosmetic maintenance. Money and sex are also highly important to you.
Your Sun in Leo is conjunct Venus in Cancer, which gives you an even more emotional quality. Venus in Cancer wants commitment, security and steadiness from partners and others and to feel that others need them, with such strong Leo placements in your chart, even if you feel this way, it may not communicate very clearly to others. A challenge you may need to face is to understand that not everything that happens is about you, all the time, and that events and circumstances in your life are not more important than in others' lives.
Your Sun is also conjunct Mars in Leo. Mars is associated with powerful energy, motion, sexuality and aggression. In Leo, Mars is on fire; you may have a quick, hot temper at times, particularly when you feel that you're not being given the respect and affection you believe you deserve. Mars' energy is passionate; it gets things done. In your third house, Mars, along with the Sun and Moon, as well as Mercury (who is in the late degrees of Cancer and is also conjunct the Sun), is devoted to anything related to your siblings, extended family (other than your parents) and neighbours, as well as to the ways you communicate. Since Mars is the ruler of Aries, it is the ruler of your eleventh house of friendships and the co-ruler of your sixth house of work and health. In both of those houses, Mars' energy acts for your and others' emotional, mental and physical well-being. Mars can be protective but it won't shy away from conflict with anyone concerned with these houses, either.
Notice that Mars is trine Uranus, in the seventh house. Uranus tends to intensify behaviour in its interest in encouraging originality, individualism and sudden change. Fortunately, Saturn is also in the seventh house, trine Mars, and seeks to encourage discipline and perspective, which may help, curb some of its fiery zeal in Leo. In the seventh house—the home of close relationships, partnerships and known enemies—Mars' drive gives extra energy to Uranus and supports Saturn's determination to be measured and resolute, which are valuable qualities in this placement.
There are two major aspect patterns in your chart. The first is a T-square involving Jupiter, in your 11th house, which is opposite Pluto, in your 6th house; both planets are squared by the Sun, in your third house. You have a powerful, personal desire for expansion, including personal development and the transformation of friends, family members, co-workers and your community. You may have difficulty having faith in God or you may feel a need to question others' beliefs.
Psychologically speaking, Sun square Pluto is one of the most influential aspects in your chart. Women with this aspect usually end up in relationships with men they believe to be powerful and who will exercise a huge amount of control over them and the relationship. Even if the relationship is violent or otherwise abusive, these women won't let go. They project Pluto's dark, controlling nature onto men and male authority figures.
This attraction to darkness is what makes your T-square such a dilemma. On the one side, Jupiter challenges your life force (Sun) to expand, but you may feel profound struggle with Jupiter's spiritual interests. On the other side, Pluto is the force of domination and control in your life, and vies with Jupiter. Jupiter represents fortune, benevolence and expansion and also symbolizes the good that may come from religious or spiritual devotion. Meanwhile, Pluto's compelling, dominant character lures you to narrow yourself and your life in submission to a controlling partner. To say that Jupiter represents light and growth while Pluto represents darkness and destruction is to draw unfortunate stereotypes, yet the caricature has some value nonetheless. The challenge of this T-square is to choose a direction between Jupiter and Pluto, accepting some qualities of each planet's influence. Directly opposite your Sun is the ninth house. If you focus on its interests and values, you will find a productive way to resolve the conflict between Pluto and Jupiter, bringing them into harmony for yourself.
The ninth house is concerned with higher values, with the world beyond the local and ordinary place of daily life. Higher education, travel abroad, religion and the law are some of the things that pertain to the ninth house. Your ninth house has Aquarius on the cusp, indicating that, for you, the ninth house matters have a deeply humanitarian involvement. If you focus in this direction in your life, out of your self-preoccupation and towards benevolent, humanitarian activity, you may be able to diminish the most limiting aspects of the T-square.
You also have a grand fire trine in your chart, between the Moon, Uranus and Jupiter. Uranus is in Capricorn, but is still within orb to trine the other planets. This trine may be a source of difficulty for you because, while it probably feels wonderful to have Jupiter's expansive qualities and Uranus' rebelliousness feed into your Moon's fundamental need to be loved and honoured like royalty, neither of those planets will encourage your Moon to take stock of your life and come down to earth. After all, you have almost no earth in your horoscope and the little you do have is in Neptune—the planet of illusion! Jupiter and Uranus, here, may encourage you to feel falsely entitled to the devotion your Moon desires, expecting it to come to you as a matter of course. This can lead to disappointment, bewilderment and depression.
This grand trine literally hooks into your T-square since Jupiter is in both formations. I suspect that when you're feeling a sense of struggle between Jupiter, the Sun and Pluto, you're likely to escape into the grand trine's endless loop of ego reinforcement. But just because the energies in that trine are comfortable for you doesn't mean that they will accomplish what you need in your life unless you can direct yourself toward something that both you and others will value, something that takes you outside of yourself and your own ego.
You've asked about career options. I suggest that you consider higher education of some kind. You've noted that your English language skills aren't as good as you need them to be. Perhaps it would be best for you to devote yourself to some rigorous study so that you can become completely, accurately fluent in English. Not only will this be a fabulous skill for you, but pursuing “perfect” English will generate a lot of positive feedback for you from others. Our language is complicated, idiosyncratic and ridiculous in many ways. Most native English speakers have enormous admiration for those who take the time and make the effort to learn our language and who speak it accurately. We know how difficult it is to do it. I think you'll find that you gain a lot of respect for mastering the language and then using your skill in some way to help others.
Let's start with the basics. Your Sun and Moon are both in Leo. This powerful combination indicates an extremely strong ego. You are ambitious, dramatic and domineering. Pride and vanity are very strong. You may seem, on the surface, to be glamourous; underneath is a very commanding nature. The reigning need in your life is to be deeply honoured and loved. The difficulty with this is that someone with both Sun and Moon in Leo almost never feels that they're getting enough attention, affection, respect or love from others, no matter how much they receive. People with Sun and Moon in Leo can frankly be exhausting for other people who get the message that, no matter how much they appreciate, care for and admire the Leonine person, it isn't enough. A strong Leo placement in a chart always includes an affinity for drama. To have Sun and Moon in Leo guarantees it. Indeed, you started this conversation with a very dramatic question, asking how to know when you will die because you're tired of the way your life is. That certainly grabs attention but it can backfire on you, too. If you often make dramatic statements about yourself and ask dramatic questions people may mistrust your motives after awhile.
Your rising sign is Gemini and your chart ruler is Mercury. Gemini rising is usually a chatterbox! In your case, I imagine this is highly pronounced because you have no planets in air signs. The air signs are communicators and can be intellectual and academic, too. Whenever there's an imbalance in the chart, we usually over-compensate for it in other areas. You probably like to talk, a lot, and may well have been talking from a very early age. Babies with Gemini rising often speak quite fluently before they're a year old. Communicating is so very important that nothing holds someone back when they have this rising sign. More than just talking, you probably ask many, many questions, all the time.
Mercury, your chart ruler, is opposite Neptune, indicating that you are imaginative and idealistic, but because you can imagine many possibilities you may be more prone to dreaming than taking action. This aspect indicates a difficulty in distinguishing reality from unreality. You frequently completely misunderstand what others say to you or how your own style of communication is received. Because Mercury is in the second house and Neptune is in the eighth, this difficulty in recognizing what is real from what you've imagined may be particularly pronounced when it comes to dealing with money, property, your income and others' resources.
Since you have only one planet, Neptune, in an Earth sign, you're lacking earth in your horoscope. As a result, you're probably very concerned with your physical body, how you look, how you feel, what you eat and when. You may spend quite a lot of time with personal grooming and cosmetic maintenance. Money and sex are also highly important to you.
Your Sun in Leo is conjunct Venus in Cancer, which gives you an even more emotional quality. Venus in Cancer wants commitment, security and steadiness from partners and others and to feel that others need them, with such strong Leo placements in your chart, even if you feel this way, it may not communicate very clearly to others. A challenge you may need to face is to understand that not everything that happens is about you, all the time, and that events and circumstances in your life are not more important than in others' lives.
Your Sun is also conjunct Mars in Leo. Mars is associated with powerful energy, motion, sexuality and aggression. In Leo, Mars is on fire; you may have a quick, hot temper at times, particularly when you feel that you're not being given the respect and affection you believe you deserve. Mars' energy is passionate; it gets things done. In your third house, Mars, along with the Sun and Moon, as well as Mercury (who is in the late degrees of Cancer and is also conjunct the Sun), is devoted to anything related to your siblings, extended family (other than your parents) and neighbours, as well as to the ways you communicate. Since Mars is the ruler of Aries, it is the ruler of your eleventh house of friendships and the co-ruler of your sixth house of work and health. In both of those houses, Mars' energy acts for your and others' emotional, mental and physical well-being. Mars can be protective but it won't shy away from conflict with anyone concerned with these houses, either.
Notice that Mars is trine Uranus, in the seventh house. Uranus tends to intensify behaviour in its interest in encouraging originality, individualism and sudden change. Fortunately, Saturn is also in the seventh house, trine Mars, and seeks to encourage discipline and perspective, which may help, curb some of its fiery zeal in Leo. In the seventh house—the home of close relationships, partnerships and known enemies—Mars' drive gives extra energy to Uranus and supports Saturn's determination to be measured and resolute, which are valuable qualities in this placement.
There are two major aspect patterns in your chart. The first is a T-square involving Jupiter, in your 11th house, which is opposite Pluto, in your 6th house; both planets are squared by the Sun, in your third house. You have a powerful, personal desire for expansion, including personal development and the transformation of friends, family members, co-workers and your community. You may have difficulty having faith in God or you may feel a need to question others' beliefs.
Psychologically speaking, Sun square Pluto is one of the most influential aspects in your chart. Women with this aspect usually end up in relationships with men they believe to be powerful and who will exercise a huge amount of control over them and the relationship. Even if the relationship is violent or otherwise abusive, these women won't let go. They project Pluto's dark, controlling nature onto men and male authority figures.
This attraction to darkness is what makes your T-square such a dilemma. On the one side, Jupiter challenges your life force (Sun) to expand, but you may feel profound struggle with Jupiter's spiritual interests. On the other side, Pluto is the force of domination and control in your life, and vies with Jupiter. Jupiter represents fortune, benevolence and expansion and also symbolizes the good that may come from religious or spiritual devotion. Meanwhile, Pluto's compelling, dominant character lures you to narrow yourself and your life in submission to a controlling partner. To say that Jupiter represents light and growth while Pluto represents darkness and destruction is to draw unfortunate stereotypes, yet the caricature has some value nonetheless. The challenge of this T-square is to choose a direction between Jupiter and Pluto, accepting some qualities of each planet's influence. Directly opposite your Sun is the ninth house. If you focus on its interests and values, you will find a productive way to resolve the conflict between Pluto and Jupiter, bringing them into harmony for yourself.
The ninth house is concerned with higher values, with the world beyond the local and ordinary place of daily life. Higher education, travel abroad, religion and the law are some of the things that pertain to the ninth house. Your ninth house has Aquarius on the cusp, indicating that, for you, the ninth house matters have a deeply humanitarian involvement. If you focus in this direction in your life, out of your self-preoccupation and towards benevolent, humanitarian activity, you may be able to diminish the most limiting aspects of the T-square.
You also have a grand fire trine in your chart, between the Moon, Uranus and Jupiter. Uranus is in Capricorn, but is still within orb to trine the other planets. This trine may be a source of difficulty for you because, while it probably feels wonderful to have Jupiter's expansive qualities and Uranus' rebelliousness feed into your Moon's fundamental need to be loved and honoured like royalty, neither of those planets will encourage your Moon to take stock of your life and come down to earth. After all, you have almost no earth in your horoscope and the little you do have is in Neptune—the planet of illusion! Jupiter and Uranus, here, may encourage you to feel falsely entitled to the devotion your Moon desires, expecting it to come to you as a matter of course. This can lead to disappointment, bewilderment and depression.
This grand trine literally hooks into your T-square since Jupiter is in both formations. I suspect that when you're feeling a sense of struggle between Jupiter, the Sun and Pluto, you're likely to escape into the grand trine's endless loop of ego reinforcement. But just because the energies in that trine are comfortable for you doesn't mean that they will accomplish what you need in your life unless you can direct yourself toward something that both you and others will value, something that takes you outside of yourself and your own ego.
You've asked about career options. I suggest that you consider higher education of some kind. You've noted that your English language skills aren't as good as you need them to be. Perhaps it would be best for you to devote yourself to some rigorous study so that you can become completely, accurately fluent in English. Not only will this be a fabulous skill for you, but pursuing “perfect” English will generate a lot of positive feedback for you from others. Our language is complicated, idiosyncratic and ridiculous in many ways. Most native English speakers have enormous admiration for those who take the time and make the effort to learn our language and who speak it accurately. We know how difficult it is to do it. I think you'll find that you gain a lot of respect for mastering the language and then using your skill in some way to help others.