Some help reading my chart? Work/Life problems

Link to my chart

I am really just starting out and everything I find online about astrology is very piecemeal. I don't think this helps much because every major planet except for the moon is a part of either a grand cross, grand trine, or mystic rectangle (and Mars is in all three). I didn't notice the big geometric patterns at first because when I got an autogenerated chart years ago its algorithms did not make note of them, so I kind of assumed that everyone's chart looked like that, when really they don't. It looks to me like a chart demanding synthesis.

A bit about what's going on in my life: I'm a year out of college and because I could not immediately find a job in my college city I had to move back to a home with an abusive father. Since then my parents (and therefore me) have moved to a really conservative area... and it's really hard to deal with being not only Jewish but also queer (and possibly genderqueer). I don't really have anything in the way of local friends and romantic prospects are completely barren. It's extremely lonely here.

I've taken a job that I start June 1st. It's entry level programming and they know I have little to no experience but think I'll do well as I have a degree in mathematics and therefore the right mindset. If they want to keep me, I'll be stuck in this town for another year, but there's a possibility of transfer into the city which I know is more Jew-friendly and may be more queer-friendly, but I don't know. The company is only in the metro area and there's only one programmer and it sounded like if I did well, I would be replacing him and becoming super integral. I am wary of planting myself here.

Thank you for any help you can give.

To make things easier, now that it's been long enough, I can actually post my chart.

Also I put my chart through the Pullen Astrolog and got these for percentages:

Sun: 11.5%
Moon: 8.3%
Mercury: 9.9%
Venus: 6.3%
Mars: 7.8%
Jupiter: 5.1%
Saturn: 15.2%
Uranus: 8.8%
Neptune: 8.2%
Pluto: 14.5%
Chiron: 3.3%
Node: 1.1%

Aries: 2.2%
Taurus: 4.8%
Gemini: 6.9%
Cancer: 81.9 ( 3) / 12.5%
Leo: 9.8%
Virgo: 7.2%
Libra: 1.7%
Scorpio: 13.6%
Sagittarius: 5.4%
Capricorn: 17.9%
Aquarius: 12.2%
Pisces: 5.9%


According to this I am very saturnine and plutonic, but I don't know about that.

All of these shapes are giving me a headache. I guess I should try pruning them down a bit.

One obvious option is to just get rid of all the outer planets. This only leaves a t-square with Mars, Saturn, and Mercury. The other obvious option is to rank their importance by how tight and exact the patterns are. In this case the triangle is definitely the most tightly aspected, followed by the square (sure one point is more off, but it's only one point) and then the rectangle. The rectangle seems the least important because it did not jump out at me in the first place and there definitely seems to be less literature on it.

In this case the triangle seems pretty weak, honestly. Mars is in detriment and both Jupiter and Neptune are trining into their detriment. Mars in Taurus is lazy, Jupiter in Virgo is subdued, Neptune in Capricorn is uncomfortable. It's an earth triangle in a chart that already has a lot of earth.

Now this triangle connects the 5th house, the 9th house, and the 12th/1st house. (I know Mars in this case is /so close/ to the line that many may calculate it in 1st, but when I first made my chart Mars was in 1st, but I found my birth certificate and realized I was off by time by about a half hour which pushed Mars into the 12th, and it fits so much better there along with in the 1st. So I refuse to believe that it's not in the 12th for a reason). So it looks like a combination of personal pleasure, travel and spirituality, and inner problems that are integral to the self, which sounds like a setup for disaster but apparently these all get along harmoniously, so well that I might take them for granted. Maybe it's the fact that these planets are so chilled out that they can get along.

you've got saturn in tenth so your career will be delayed and your dad is kinda unemotional, maybe critical.

saturn is in aquarius so the delay isnt very long

mercury is opposite saturn in tenth
do you make social faux pas, which ruin your reputation?

(I think aspergers is a misdiagnosis of hard saturn aspects)

mars is square saturn. do you DO as well as say things that ruin your reputation?

Pluto sitting exactly on seventh with a bunch of oppositions and squares might explain the genderqueer issues.


Do you feel like other people get away with things that you dont, and that everything you do is discovered whereas other people are able to keep their actions under wraps?

Slenkar said:

you've got saturn in tenth so your career will be delayed and your dad is kinda unemotional, maybe critical.

saturn is in aquarius so the delay isnt very long

mercury is opposite saturn in tenth
do you make social faux pas, which ruin your reputation?

(I think aspergers is a misdiagnosis of hard saturn aspects)

mars is square saturn. do you DO as well as say things that ruin your reputation?

Pluto sitting exactly on seventh with a bunch of oppositions and squares might explain the genderqueer issues

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Thank you so much for your response.

Probably, possibly, yeah I guess so. I may have done things that have ruined my reputation with certain people. But I do not think my reputation is totally ruined. I do have friends (that I just don't live around anymore). When I do or say something stupid with them I tend to be very quick to patch it up with them and it's no big deal. Work, official capacity, etc., tends to be different, but I guess at this point I haven't messed up that badly...

My first job out of college I got fired after a week. I was hired with the understanding that everyone in the office was extremely sociable and pleasant and they wanted someone different, someone with a more mathematical/studious/whatever brain but the person training me turned out to just want someone exactly like the rest of the people in the office. The guy who fired me said that I didn't belong there, that I should be doing something "better" with my time and should probably be going to graduate school. It's been nearly a year since then and now I'm going to be a programmer.

The genderqueer thing, I don't know. Walking the walk and talking the talk of being feminine is pretty easy for me (sun conjunct venus, I guess?) however growing up I've always applied masculine standards to myself too and have always been worried about being able to live up to them. There have not really ever been any decent men around so I've always felt like I had to fill that role too. Despite appearances there's a lot of masculinity (and other things) in me and I think that can scare off people. I mean I know it certainly scares me. I think I've been trying to incorporate it back into myself more and stop keeping it hidden so much. I don't know.

Dad is just an awful person all around so I don't really think that assesment is accurate. He's not saturnine at all but he probably wishes people viewed him this way. He pretty much behaves like a small child.

Is your dad talkative?

he could be represented by mercury in 4th then,

so then is your mom at all saturnine?

I shouldnt have used the word ruined, cos you can always rebuild your rep. and start afresh.

I have saturn in tenth and Ive been fired for not being sociable many times.

If I were you id look up the meanings of all the planets in the houses if you havent already,e.g. jupiter in fifth.

You might end up working from home with computers as your 2nd and 6th rulers are in or right next to the fourth house

Youve got a big blue triangle with jupiter mars and uranus so you might succeed with being creative with computers or internets,

I dont know if this means you should be a graphic designer or youtube celebrity, only you can decide.
saturn in tenth with squares and oppositions goes against being a celeb probly

Slenkar said:

Do you feel like other people get away with things that you dont, and that everything you do is discovered whereas other people are able to keep their actions under wraps?

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I am not sure if this is true. However I do feel like I am in position to see people getting away with things, and most of the times I say nothing. Also I feel like a lot of times I see bad things happen and just not be in a position to do anything about it.

Slenkar said:

Is your dad talkative?

he could be represented by mercury in 4th then,

so then is your mom at all saturnine?

I shouldnt have used the word ruined, cos you can always rebuild your rep. and start afresh.

I have saturn in tenth and Ive been fired for not being sociable many times.

If I were you id look up the meanings of all the planets in the houses if you havent already,e.g. jupiter in fifth.

You might end up working from home with computers as your 2nd and 6th rulers are in or right next to the fourth house

Youve got a big blue triangle with jupiter mars and uranus so you might succeed with being creative with computers or internets,

I dont know if this means you should be a graphic designer or youtube celebrity, only you can decide.
saturn in tenth with squares and oppositions goes against being a celeb probly

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He is very talkative but he has nothing of interest to say. I've stopped listening to him a long time ago. I would not say Mom is saturnine. She is a Pisces and definitely has the Pisces-doormat thing going on.

I have been writing a lot and would like success in that. I guess I have had one short story published so that is more than most people can say but as always I've known that I needed a "real" job and that's this programming thing. It's probably better off that I don't get any sort of celebrity because I'd probably find a way to mess that up spectacularly.

I am looking into the houses stuff.

I do not like this "Pluto in 7th house/conjunct descendant = abuse" bit. I would rather it make me super duper queer than have anything to do with abuse. I have experienced enough abuse for one lifetime. Never again. I guess I am attracted to strong personalities, but a strong personality is really the only way that anybody is ever going to be able to deal with me, and thus far I have never found anyone worthy enough to give more than one date to.

graay ghost said:

In this case the triangle seems pretty weak, honestly. Mars is in detriment and both Jupiter and Neptune are trining into their detriment. Mars in Taurus is lazy, Jupiter in Virgo is subdued, Neptune in Capricorn is uncomfortable. It's an earth triangle in a chart that already has a lot of earth.

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Weakness or strength of planets is much, much more complex than that. And be aware, you're dealing with both modern and traditional interpretations in this forum, and possibly in what you've been reading, and those branches of astrology define weak and strong very differently when it comes to planets.

If you're looking at the birth chart as representative of you, that's a modern astrology perspective, so modern astrology is what we should look to in determining the meanings of planets and aspects. Traditional astrology would give much less weight to aspects and wouldn't consider the birth chart to be representative of you, but of what you face in life.

From a modern astrology perspective, sign placement counts, and planets will shine more clearly in some signs than others. A planet in detriment doesn't show its superficial manifestations very well, but it's still there and still playing its role for you, just might manifest a little differently from "classic." We also look at other factors. Anything angular (on the ascendent, descendent, midheaven, or nadir) is particularly strong. Since your Mars sits right on your ascendant, it's very, very strong in your chart.

Taurus is peaceful and stubborn, but not lazy at all, even though it's often accused of being so. What Taurus is, is Ferdinand the bull, who won't fight in the ring but insists on sitting under the cork tree and smelling the flowers. Mars in Taurus behaves like Ferdinand: not a snorting bull charging the matador, but stubbornly holding its ground. Mars in Taurus will never start a fight, but will defend itself to the death if necessary.

Ditto Jupiter and Neptune. Their energies don't mesh naturally with the signs you have them in, they have to work extra hard to manifest, but in doing so, they make unique manifestations of themselves and their signs. Expansive, careless Jupiter gets brought down to earth and reigned in by Virgo's practicality, while Jupiter's generosity and acceptance mutes and may even override Virgo's tendency to become over critical. Mystical Neptune may have to wade through the muck of Capricorn's discipline and practicality, but it adds an openness and intuitiveness to Capricorn, which might otherwise insist that the only real world is the material world.

graay ghost said:

I am looking into the houses stuff.

I do not like this "Pluto in 7th house/conjunct descendant = abuse" bit.

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Abuse isn't your fate when you have Pluto in your natal seventh house or conjunct your descendant, just a possible pitfall. Pluto in that position usually brings a tendency to draw people into your life (both romantically and platonically) who manifest your shadow side. That in turn can lead to an abusive relationship--and you might be either the abused or the abuser.

Key words here are can and might. It's not guaranteed to happen.

You have Pluto conjunct your DC from the sixth house. That brings some sixth house messages into the picture as well. Sixth house can indicate work--a conjunction with the DC from the sixth house might indicate a business partnership or a working relationship with your spouse--and can also indicate health issues, physical or mental or both. It might indicate a need to care for a seriously ill spouse or partner, or it might indicate a need to heal yourself through partnership.

The definition of partnership here is very broad. It might mean romantic partner, spouse, etc., or it might mean something purely platonic. A therapist/client relationship is a prime example of the kind of partnership that might be indicated by Pluto in the sixth house conjunct the DC.

Pluto and Scorpio are all about the underworld, what's hidden, what's not talked about, what lies beneath the surface. The therapeutic process works through those things for the purpose of healing.

You mentioned that you're an abuse survivor, and the way you describe your living and working situation sounds like you're deeply traumatized. Why did you "have to" move back in with your abusive father when you couldn't immediately find a job where you went to school?

Logically, you could have cast your job search farther afield, applied in more distant cities... but something apparently prevented you from doing that. I don't know what practical details might have been involved, but the sense that you had no choice, and that you gave up so quickly, sounds like there's some deep emotional trauma involved. Maybe being fired from that first job... that's a traumatic experience in and of itself. Not on the level of being abused, assaulted, experiencing war, etc., but still trauma.

In any case, you apparently have plenty of need for healing, and Pluto in that position tells us that forming a healing partnership of some kind is very important for you.

Thank you very much for your replies, Osamenor.

Do you have any advice on ferreting out traditional astrology vs. modern astrology advice? I guess I have been mostly haphazardly looking for resources and have been getting them muddled.

I have gone to some therapists for various reasons but have never really found them to help much. I am no good at physically talking to people about serious things so really nothing gets done, and talking face to face is what people insist on, and that's just pretty terrible...

I had a plan about moving back home. Quickly find something to do, throw all my money into paying off debt down far enough that I would be able to move out within a year. I thought I would be able to handle it for a year, but that didn't really go as planned, so. There was also the simple matter of not having anywhere to live and any money to get my own place otherwise. Maybe it's all that earth in that chart but I take creature comforts very seriously.

I am sure there is more in these posts that I need to consider but this is all I have right now.

graay ghost said:

Thank you very much for your replies, Osamenor.

Do you have any advice on ferreting out traditional astrology vs. modern astrology advice? I guess I have been mostly haphazardly looking for resources and have been getting them muddled.

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If a source talks a lot about planets (or the entire chart) being weak (or strong), or goes on about lord of this house or that sign, it's a traditional perspective. If it says something like I just did, allowing for planets "in detriment" to have their strengths, it's a modern perspective. And if a source mentions Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto, let alone Chiron, it's definitely modern, because traditional astrology ignores everything discovered after 1700 or thereabouts. Karmic astrology is another modern concept. Traditional Western astrology didn't have the concept of karma, that was borrowed from Vedic in modern times.

Modern astrology focuses more on aspects, and while it doesn't ignore such things as detriment or dignity, it doesn't give them as much weight as traditional astrology.

I started my study of astrology with Steven Forrest's "The Inner Sky." Very readable, and he does an excellent job of breaking birth chart interpretation down into manageable bits--like you're trying to do right now, only his system isn't so haphazard. He's an evolutionary astrologer--a subset of modern astrology that focuses on personal growth--which is the philosophy that works best for me.

graay ghost said:

I have gone to some therapists for various reasons but have never really found them to help much. I am no good at physically talking to people about serious things so really nothing gets done, and talking face to face is what people insist on, and that's just pretty terrible...

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Talk therapy has some serious limitations, too. At best, it might help you get things off your chest, but at the end of the day, all you're doing is rehashing the same old stories.

I feel similarly about therapy: I've tried it several times, with varying degrees of success, and had it recommended to me much more often than I was willing/able to go, and part of the problem for me has always been trust issues and feeling like I couldn't confide in anyone. But, a couple of years ago, a series of synchronistic events--an emotional crisis, an overheard discussion, and an opportunity suddenly presenting itself--led me to try hypnotherapy, and that was phenomenal.

Some of the process of hypnotherapy is like talk therapy. You have to tell the hypnotherapist what's going on for you so that they know how to guide you in the hypnosis part. But the actual work, done in hypnosis, goes much deeper and gets to the real root of things. I found that it changed my thoughts and my actions very profoundly, even in ways that we had never directly addressed.

I actually was thinking of that experience when I wrote that about Pluto on the DC and a healing partnership. (I don't have that configuration in my own chart, although I've realized in hindsight that there's a lot else in my chart that points me in that direction.) Pluto in its helpful aspect is the shaman, the hypnotist, the underworld guide... so if you worked with a hypnotherapist, you would be fulfilling that part of your birth chart in a healthy way.

graay ghost said:

I had a plan about moving back home. Quickly find something to do, throw all my money into paying off debt down far enough that I would be able to move out within a year. I thought I would be able to handle it for a year, but that didn't really go as planned, so. There was also the simple matter of not having anywhere to live and any money to get my own place otherwise. Maybe it's all that earth in that chart but I take creature comforts very seriously.

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I think it's probably more about stability than creature comfort. Earth signs tend to need plenty of stability. I see that in myself, and I have Capricorn rising and earth as the secondary emphasis in my chart (fire is my first; I have a fire grand trine that includes my sun and moon, and more planets in fire than any other element).

The book definitely looks interesting. However I'm afraid it will have to go onto that long list of things that I might get "when I have money" and who knows when that will happen.

I am not really interested in therapy right now. At this point I'm pretty sure all there is to do is, upon going through hell, to keep going.

graay ghost said:

The book definitely looks interesting. However I'm afraid it will have to go onto that long list of things that I might get "when I have money" and who knows when that will happen.

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I hear that. My studies of astrology are self directed partly because of limits in what I can afford--an occasional book or lecture, and that's it. And most of the astrology books I have I acquired thanks to the stray Amazon gift cards I had sitting around.

Forrest's first bit of advice is to ignore everything in the birth chart until you've thoroughly grasped the meaning of the sun, moon, and ascendant. That triad forms the basis for everything. Basic chart patterns come next, and then focalizers--those strong planets we've talked about in another thread or two. He doesn't even mention complex aspects (grand trines, grand crosses, etc.) in that book. I came on this forum when I started trying to interpret the aspects in my chart, because that took me out of the territory the book covered and into territory I didn't understand.

graay ghost said:

I am not really interested in therapy right now. At this point I'm pretty sure all there is to do is, upon going through hell, to keep going.

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Sometimes that's it. Sometimes help is needed. It's different at different times in your life.

Osamenor said:

I hear that. My studies of astrology are self directed partly because of limits in what I can afford--an occasional book or lecture, and that's it. And most of the astrology books I have I acquired thanks to the stray Amazon gift cards I had sitting around.

Forrest's first bit of advice is to ignore everything in the birth chart until you've thoroughly grasped the meaning of the sun, moon, and ascendant. That triad forms the basis for everything. Basic chart patterns come next, and then focalizers--those strong planets we've talked about in another thread or two. He doesn't even mention complex aspects (grand trines, grand crosses, etc.) in that book. I came on this forum when I started trying to interpret the aspects in my chart, because that took me out of the territory the book covered and into territory I didn't understand.

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I guess that's good, but I don't really see myself much in my sun OR moon, whereas things like a Taurus Mars and a Virgo Jupiter explain a lot more that I actually am able to see in myself. The book might help but most of what you can read in the sample are things that I already know.

Possibly my visual arts training is working against me here, and the allure of "ooh, pretty pattern!" is getting the better of me, though. From a composition standpoint, my chart looks very orderly. Though I do wonder if there's actually anything good in this chart. From the materials I can get ahold of it seems like a scary one.

graay ghost said:

I guess that's good, but I don't really see myself much in my sun OR moon, whereas things like a Taurus Mars and a Virgo Jupiter explain a lot more that I actually am able to see in myself. The book might help but most of what you can read in the sample are things that I already know.

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What the sample provides is cookbook astrology: "Cancer sun means x, Capricorn moon means y, and if your sun is in the third house, that means this...." Cookbook astrology doesn't work very well. It's impossible to make sense of once you get beyond two or three components, and often contradictory. Forrest goes into that, and also provides a way out of it.

graay ghost said:

Though I do wonder if there's actually anything good in this chart. From the materials I can get ahold of it seems like a scary one.

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Cookbook astrology is very good at making birth charts look scary. Furthermore, it usually promotes an attitude of, "Your birth chart is your fate, and there's nothing you can do about it." Evolutionary astrology says your birth chart is simply what you have to work with, and the outcome depends on how you work with it.

I am beginning to skim through the book. I think I have found the big problem I have with most descriptions of Cancer, and this book has it too.

I'm not protective of my feelings. I'm extremely protective of my energy. Like I've said, I'm a low-energy person. I do not have much to work with. I am constantly sizing people and situations up, asking myself "is this worth the time and effort I would have to put into it?" So much of the time, the answer is "no." I'm not actually shy. I don't think I ever have been. If I don't have anything to say, it's probably because you're boring me and I'm trying very hard not to be rude. Any "mask" or "shell" I have isn't really for my protection, it's for yours.

graay ghost said:

I am beginning to skim through the book. I think I have found the big problem I have with most descriptions of Cancer, and this book has it too.

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The problem is that you're skimming it. Did you "skim" the part where he says the signs as he describes them are archetypes that we all have within us, not people born "under" those signs?

Your birth chart shows the interplay of all the archetypes in your psyche. Of course you're not a pure Cancer. You have all the other archetypes in you too, and several others highlighted. Read the book, don't skim it, and then see if you think it's wrong!

Osamenor said:

The problem is that you're skimming it. Did you "skim" the part where he says the signs as he describes them are archetypes that we all have within us, not people born "under" those signs?

Your birth chart shows the interplay of all the archetypes in your psyche. Of course you're not a pure Cancer. You have all the other archetypes in you too, and several others highlighted. Read the book, don't skim it, and then see if you think it's wrong!

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I did read that part, yes.

I am more trying to figure out what makes that. What to do with that. People are exhausting. Constantly restraining myself is exhausting. There is this constant feeling that no matter what I am doing, I should be doing something else, as well. I don't know what to do with that either. No matter whether times are good or times are bad, my brain is constantly buzzing. When it's good the buzzing gets things done. When it's bad it doesn't, and the only way I've found to shut it up is to have all my attention focused on conversation. My brain is this constantly hungry monster but it gets indigestion easily. It needs constant constant stimulation and when it can't get it it makes up its own.

I was looking up maladaptive daydreaming, thinking that it could be me, but I still get everything I need done and am still capable of socializing normally. It's more that I just can't stand to be bored and the time in-between has to be filled up with making up stories or else I'll go crazy. It It all seems intensely 3rd house, I guess. Or maybe I am just full of bees.

Reading further, I still think he needs to come up with more archetypes for Cancer.