What is she here to teach me?

[anjelik]

I have a 4 year old daughter who has strong will like I've never seen before. I often joke that I wake up daily and put on my armour for battle. I have been finding her more and more difficult and I am finding myself shouting at her and I don't like it. I cried last night because I feel like such a horrible mother and failure. Can someone please help me see what it is she is here to teach me and vice versa?

All I feel and see if her Capricorn stellium in the first squaring my Mars and Saturn and it is SO DRAINING. I see her Mars/Jupiter conjunction manifest daily when she doesn't get her way. I know she is only 4 so I don't expect her to be able to control that. But I want to understand what she needs from me and what I am supposed to learn from giving birth to a child with this specific chart.


I want to be the loving and fun mommy she deserves. I see her Virgo moon manifesting through my actions and it makes me so sad. My youngest daughter has this placement too so I feel like I am destined to be that controlling horrible mother.

Pluto is currently in exact square to my natal Pluto at 26 degrees Libra. It also just crossed my ascendant and now in my 1st house. Which is probably why this is affecting me so deeply at the moment. Please help. Thank you!

[Zora]

Originally Posted by anjelik

I have a 4 year old daughter who has strong will like I've never seen before. I often joke that I wake up daily and put on my armour for battle. I have been finding her more and more difficult and I am finding myself shouting at her and I don't like it. I cried last night because I feel like such a horrible mother and failure. Can someone please help me see what it is she is here to teach me and vice versa?

Hi anjelik -

to analyze a synastry - it is always necessary to look at both natals with actual transist - to see both energies and needs and resources coming together in a synastry.

Yes - one can tell and see your daughter has a strong and iron will to survive and to go for her wishes and her aims - with sun conj. pluto and venus all in cap in her 1st house - sextiling her jupiter and her mars in scorpio cusp her midheaven and 10th house.

Venus zero degree conj. her sun - rules her 4th house - her emotions, her basic trust and shows how she experiences her mother - shows her mother experience in childhood and mother as first female gender support and as first model role to be a woman.

And interesting -that you both share your own mother experience - venus also rules your 4th house - but you don't have this energy available in this intensity- with your sun in pisces sitting cusp your 2nd house (setting boundaries and self-protection) - zero degree sesquiquadrated (an interruption aspect) by your libra pluto in 9th house - ruled by venus and your cap venus in 1st house -squared by your libra pluto.

Your moon is in air sign gemini in a venus ruled 4th house - your emotions and emotional reactions - but also being a mother yourself - is opposed by your natal sag uranus in a pluto ruled 10th house - which shows that you have high sensitive antennas and quick reacting emotions - noticing every tiny detail of change in your environment and surroundings like a seismograph and then can quickly cause a nervous and restless energy - quickly feeling drained. And your high sensitive moon is in your daughter's 4th house. Able to notice everything about the emotions of your daughter. Your chiron - your inner wound you put on her 4th house cusp.

In your daughter's chart - her jupiter rules her 12th house - also prenatal experience before own birth - she co-experienced and witnessed during pregnancy of her mother.

And her 12th house - prenatal house is placed with her sag BlackMoonLilith, her sag saturn as her ASC ruler and birth energy and her cap mercury as her 8th house ruler- death and near to death experiences, trauma/shock and dangerous life threatening experiences at point of her birth.

Her northnode in 7th house degree exact opposes your mercury as your ruler of 5th house - own children and your 8th house ruler - this looks like a kinda fated and "lesson telling" mother/daughter relationship.

Her moon is in 8th house - with moon/pluto correspondence energy and is part of a t-square with mercury at apex squaring her pisces chiron - the injury/wound/weakness in her 2nd house - house of physical existence. Chiron semisquaring degree exact her natal uranus in 3rd house.

Her uranus as second part of her birth energy co-ruling her intercepted aquarius - zero degree exact trines her mercury in 12th house.

Mercury in 12th besides 8th house - genetic heritage- also rules her 6th house health but also her 5th house - life energy and own ego and own will - but for me also shows own father energy.

Prenatal experiences - witnessed as a tiny little helpless fetus in mother's belly - can afterwards be stored in this as helpless experienced state - in own subconsciousness and can get up again if transit activated and can take a subtile impact on every new beginning in own life.

The chart of your daughter looks like special circumstances around her birth and short before - was she born by c-section ? Your chiron as a scar from her birth on her 4th house cusp - mother ?

Her 8th house moon as part of her t-square will soon be trine activated by transit pluto for a transformation and healing.



Edit - synastry reversed -Mother and Daughter - for having available for all here -all together.

.

[ElenaJ]

After that amazing message from Zora, and the help of the charts thoughtfully posted, there is little left to say.
So, just two observations.
One, the south node is often an indication of Karmic past, and mercury on SN could indicate you were siblings in a past life, while the mercury link forces you to improve your communication skills, your ability to speak and get your thoughts across in a positive way. It's in an intellectual and philosophical sign, Aquarius.
At the same time, there is a conjunction of the other mercury with Neptune, and to add further energy to the intuitive side, there is a sun/neptune conjunction.
These are all powerful links, in close aspect.
She also has a close square between mercury and Chiron, lots of lessons to be learnt in communication, and in a harsh, difficult-to-achieve way, because of the square.
You are there to help her with this.
Virgo and Capricorn are down to earth signs not intuitive.
Finally, you mention the difficulty created by the square of transiting pluto to your natal pluto.
Keep in mind she also is feeling this strongly, with her Uranus opposing your pluto of control, and square transiting pluto. She is also under pressure, her independence caught in the cross fire.

[anjelik]

Originally Posted by Zora

Hi anjelik -

to analyze a synastry - it is always necessary to look at both natals with actual transist - to see both energies and needs and resources coming together in a synastry.

Yes - one can tell and see your daughter has a strong and iron will to survive and to go for her wishes and her aims - with sun conj. pluto and venus all in cap in her 1st house - sextiling her jupiter and her mars in scorpio cusp her midheaven and 10th house.

Venus zero degree conj. her sun - rules her 4th house - her emotions, her basic trust and shows how she experiences her mother - shows her mother experience in childhood and mother as first female gender support and as first model role to be a woman.

And interesting -that you both share your own mother experience - venus also rules your 4th house - but you don't have this energy available in this intensity- with your sun in pisces sitting cusp your 2nd house (setting boundaries and self-protection) - zero degree sesquiquadrated (an interruption aspect) by your libra pluto in 9th house - ruled by venus and your cap venus in 1st house -squared by your libra pluto.

Your moon is in air sign gemini in a venus ruled 4th house - your emotions and emotional reactions - but also being a mother yourself - is opposed by your natal sag uranus in a pluto ruled 10th house - which shows that you have high sensitive antennas and quick reacting emotions - noticing every tiny detail of change in your environment and surroundings like a seismograph and then can quickly cause a nervous and restless energy - quickly feeling drained. And your high sensitive moon is in your daughter's 4th house. Able to notice everything about the emotions of your daughter. Your chiron - your inner wound you put on her 4th house cusp.

In your daughter's chart - her jupiter rules her 12th house - also prenatal experience before own birth - she co-experienced and witnessed during pregnancy of her mother.

And her 12th house - prenatal house is placed with her sag BlackMoonLilith, her sag saturn as her ASC ruler and birth energy and her cap mercury as her 8th house ruler- death and near to death experiences, trauma/shock and dangerous life threatening experiences at point of her birth.

Her northnode in 7th house degree exact opposes your mercury as your ruler of 5th house - own children and your 8th house ruler - this looks like a kinda fated and "lesson telling" mother/daughter relationship.

Her moon is in 8th house - with moon/pluto correspondence energy and is part of a t-square with mercury at apex squaring her pisces chiron - the injury/wound/weakness in her 2nd house - house of physical existence. Chiron semisquaring degree exact her natal uranus in 3rd house.

Her uranus as second part of her birth energy co-ruling her intercepted aquarius - zero degree exact trines her mercury in 12th house.

Mercury in 12th besides 8th house - genetic heritage- also rules her 6th house health but also her 5th house - life energy and own ego and own will - but for me also shows own father energy.

Prenatal experiences - witnessed as a tiny little helpless fetus in mother's belly - can afterwards be stored in this as helpless experienced state - in own subconsciousness and can get up again if transit activated and can take a subtile impact on every new beginning in own life.

The chart of your daughter looks like special circumstances around her birth and short before - was she born by c-section ? Your chiron as a scar from her birth on her 4th house cusp - mother ?

Her 8th house moon as part of her t-square will soon be trine activated by transit pluto for a transformation and healing.



Edit - synastry reversed -Mother and Daughter - for having available for all here -all together.

.

Thank you very much for taking the time to go through both charts so deeply. I've read what you've written a few times to make sure I could take it all in and process it. I know she is here to teach me something because some days are so hard. I just don't want my frustration with her to cultivate negative energy and take away her spirit. But I do know she does need to learn things as well. For a 4 year old she has such a commanding presence and I fear that she is going to be one of those people who you either love or hate because she will be ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants. With that being said she has a very kind heart and I've never seen her hurt anyone or anything. She is always looking to help others, which is nice to see.

Regarding your question around her birth - I was induced 48 hrs after my water broke and had a natural labor. There was a point when I was told her heart rate was dropping but they didn't make it seem like a big deal - although they probably didn't want to scare me. Maybe it was a bigger deal than I was aware of. All I know is the midwife yelled at me and told me to listen to her to get her out safely and I did.

I know I have known her in another life or she is someone I missed out on knowing in this life. I never had the chance to meet my mother in law as she passed away 2 months before I met my husband. The way she is described reminds me so much of my daughter. When I look into her eyes I feel like there is an old soul staring back at me. I can't even really describe it to be honest.

My youngest has a lot of mutable energy (Gemini Sun/Venus), virgo moon and rising, pisces Mars. They are just so different, it's interesting to see it play out in their charts as well. Both my girls have prominent midheavens. My oldest has the Mars/Jupter conjunction and my youngest has Venus/Sun conjunction. I found that really interesting. My youngest and I share squares between our suns and moons both ways. But her Sun and Venus conjunct my Moon. So maybe she won't activate me the same way (i hope not, because I can't take two of them doing this lol).

Anyway, thank you very much again! Sorry for rambling. I am a little emotional today.

[anjelik]

Originally Posted by ElenaJ

After that amazing message from Zora, and the help of the charts thoughtfully posted, there is little left to say.
So, just two observations.
One, the south node is often an indication of Karmic past, and mercury on SN could indicate you were siblings in a past life, while the mercury link forces you to improve your communication skills, your ability to speak and get your thoughts across in a positive way. It's in an intellectual and philosophical sign, Aquarius.
At the same time, there is a conjunction of the other mercury with Neptune, and to add further energy to the intuitive side, there is a sun/neptune conjunction.
These are all powerful links, in close aspect.
She also has a close square between mercury and Chiron, lots of lessons to be learnt in communication, and in a harsh, difficult-to-achieve way, because of the square.
You are there to help her with this.
Virgo and Capricorn are down to earth signs not intuitive.
Finally, you mention the difficulty created by the square of transiting pluto to your natal pluto.
Keep in mind she also is feeling this strongly, with her Uranus opposing your pluto of control, and square transiting pluto. She is also under pressure, her independence caught in the cross fire.

Thank you for this. As I mentioned in my response above, I do feel like I have known her in a past life. When I look into her eyes I feel like someone much older is looking at me. She is fierce and she isn't afraid to lock eyes with me when she wants to get her way. I think I am here to teach her diplomacy with my Libra placements against her Capricorn placements. Also with that fiery Sag Mercury she might get into trouble. I am going to make an effort to work on my communication with her - be more positive and present. She deserves the best version of myself that I can give her.