I see. Thank you for your feedback and information.
This is indeed very hard to deal with. You can already see if I guide you through. You said your mother was the one that abused you. You look at the Moon and Venus mutual reception that I told you before.
Moon rules Venus, Venus rules Sun, Mercury, Mars and Chiron. The connection is your Moon due to the rulership over Venus. She also is the one who Harmed you (Mars, Chiron). This is the harmful effect from the Sun (father) combustion to the Moon.
Moon should be dignified but her qualities was Burnt off by the Sun. So your father and mother separated in a very tragic way. That in a way affects your health. Cause the primary ruler of Mercury Venus & Moon are together affected. So Mercury is also weaken now. That's why your have difficult time with your absorption as Virgo ruled the digestive system, ascendant your physical body and health.
Your 4th house Jupiter and Uranus conjunction both Retrogrades, Jupiter and Uranus. This conjunction normally means super sudden luck. When it retrograde even Jupiter is happy to be in 4th house in his own Sagittarius, it turned out to be a lot of unstable family home events. But Retrogrades have a choice to turn things around after later on in life. It can turn direct in progressed chart.
The way you fall in love so easily and always chose the wrong guy that is due to the Neptune Rx and Venus opposition and Moon node connection. As I said, north node, the goal that you most wanted in life is family and partnership, but the south node told you to learn to let go of your partnership. The opposition aspect again is learning to reach a balance. So it asks you that is ok to want to have family and love, but you will need to learn to have balance with it. You will need to learn how to discriminate who is good for you and who is bad for you.
Venus trine Saturn, you should normally be very devoted and loyal lover, when Saturn in Libra goes retrograde that will become a kind of negative devotion like you hanging on for something not necessary should be devoted on. You become stubborn in love.
Saturn Rx conjunction with Pluto Rx, another extreme an intense love and hate aspect. So difficult to handle. These two in your 3rd house, I think you and your sibling have inseperable relationship. Venus rules the 3rd house, Pluto Rx and Saturn Rx they sextile Neptune Rx in 4th house.
Neptune in 4th house, in early life very much is feeling of abandonment, a boat lost at sea. 12th house is belonged to Neptune, when it is difficult you will be lost in the mist. No clear definition to you in term of family and home. Obviously with all the things you had gone through.
So what we want to do here is to fulfil the goal of this Finger of God, Yod aspect. Mars and Chiron are the central point of this Yob. Mars rules Aries, you 9th house cusp. You should seek religious help. I have a feeling if you start helping others, you will also be healed.
The psychology part of all these to me from my observation of my sister, she has similar chart like yours. She was abused sexually and physically as a child. Her inner deepest insecurity was no one will ever love her. She lets herself down, feeling guilty that it was all her fault that everything fell apart. She blamed herself for years in secret. She could not get over the fact of the abuses, she never understood, nothing was her fault.
You see the similarity might be also in your case. Your 2nd house is the material and non material wealth. How you value yourself as a person, how adequate you feel about yourself as a person. Am I good enough? Anyone going to love me? This confusion is in your Venus, Neptune Rx, and Moon node connection.
It is interesting to see that Venus being placed in 11th house, the house of friends and people in large, community. In the sign of Cancer, what do you think about helping people in large, having a family in large in the community.
To use your empathy to heal others at the same time you will learn that you worth something, you worth to live a good life cause you providing others yourself as a gift to them? You have to bring this compassion for partnership instead of helping one person with his trouble, why don't you focus on the non one to one but in group type of helps to others? The north node is telling you to focus on a Large Group of people and focus less on your one to one only relationship. When the balance is reached you could have both!
Planet conjuncts Chiron. you are wounded but you be healed later as well. You heal other people's wounds then you will heal your own.
