I'm currently working with disabled people and I've got this coworker with whom I'm absolutely obsessed. Just for your information: She's 50 and I'm 20 and we barely work together but we've got this very strong connection. It might be because of her Mars in my 12th house. I feel like she sees right through me which is very unsettling in a work environment because I always feel observed. I can't keep any secrets from her but in reality we don't have the time to discuss them in private because there are always other coworkers around. Sometimes when I'm talking to her I'm suddenly trembling without any reason. I can barely look her into her eyes and they're also very intense. I also feel like I know her on a deep level but I can't explain it in words. I know that she likes me a lot but I still feel so insecure around her and sometimes I don't talk at all because I feel like every little gesture is seen. As I said, this is not a romantic relationship but it's driving me absolutely crazy. Is this because of all the planets in my 12th house in synastry and Composite or maybe my Sun square her Pluto which makes me feel dominated? I can also see the Moon conjunct Pluto in the Composite and Venus square Pluto.
When we talk, we actually only talk about simple and fun things as I do with all the other Geminis that I know. She's a lot of fun to be around and I enjoy these conversations but I feel like I need to tell her about all my secrets and I already caught myself texting her (about my sexuality for example).
I just wonder if this obsession is one-sided or not, which I do believe because of the age gap and I'm curious about the "goal" of this relationship.
When we talk, we actually only talk about simple and fun things as I do with all the other Geminis that I know. She's a lot of fun to be around and I enjoy these conversations but I feel like I need to tell her about all my secrets and I already caught myself texting her (about my sexuality for example).
I just wonder if this obsession is one-sided or not, which I do believe because of the age gap and I'm curious about the "goal" of this relationship.
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